Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #841

Substitute Teacher: So... you guys are in IB?

Class: Yes.

Substitute Teacher: That's like AP, right?

Class: No, it's different.

Substitute Teacher: But both programs let you earn college credits, right? Then they're the same.

Class: They're not the same!

(A short debate ensues. The sub still doesn't believe there's a difference between IB and AP.)

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2107

IB student1: Man, I can't believe I finally remember something I dreamt!
IB student2: Really? What did you dream?
IB student1: I was at home...doing my extended essay...and even in my dream it was hell...
IB student2:......

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2119

HL Chemistry teacher:

If you put potato in water and make vodka, I give extra credit!

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #505

*a teacher is explaining about metallic bonding to Chemistry students*

Teacher: Metallic bonding have high conductivity because of the sea of electrons
Student: ...

*the teacher keeps explaining*

Student: ... *looking confused and look at the teacher*

*the teacher keeps explaining further*

Teacher: The low ionization energy, malleability and ductility are also because of the sea of electrons *writes 'sea of electrons' on the whiteboard*

Student: OHHH!! It's sea of electron. Now it makes sense... I thought you said C of electrons.

Other classmates: bleh -_-"

Vote: Yay! -30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #533

Mrs. M.: Tea Cake's real name is Vergeable Woods.
Me: Haha Mrs. M., that sounds like a pornstar name.

Vote: Yay! -30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #731

Bard on the beach watching King Lear:

Kahan: You wanna know the difference between us and normies?
Maxim: We are smarter, more powerful, and we actually are culturally trained?
Kahan: No! When we go to these things, we actually want to watch, when the normies go, they just do it to make their parents pay the $15 and get outta class.
Maxim: But we got outta class too....
Kahan: We did something good with our lives...
Maxim: Watch a play with vacuum cleaners, guns, and business suits?
Kahan: Yah.

(5 minutes later)

English Teacher: What are you guys gossiping about?
Kahan: We are talking about the play, really!
English Teacher: Pfft. Tell me what you told Maxim then!
Kahan: We wasted...er... spent the time at the play very well and with a good purpose.

=D

Vote: Yay! -30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #310

Sacrifice for the Glorious IB

Vote: Yay! -31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #363

AP/IB Calculus teacher, in an attempt to "engage us":
WHERE DID PI GO? We've been *doing* pi all morning! But this isn't a disc, this isn't a circle. It's a triangle--YA KNOW?

Vote: Yay! -31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #135

"We are living in a land of opportunity. We're practically swimming in fields of singles ready to mingle."
- Mark (on a conversation with Lauren about 3rd world countries and Lavalife)

Vote: Yay! -32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #354

In a Business & Management Class...

B&M and Physics student: Sir, what's the unit of the break even volume?
Teacher: Unit.
B&M and Physics student: No I mean, metres cubed or centimetres cubed.....?!?!?
The other B&M and Physics student: HAHAHAHA
B&M and other non-physics students: Huh??

Vote: Yay! -32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #25

Ms. Shannon (when physics students were studying for a test in her room during lunch time): Why don't you guys go ask Ms. Birsan, if you don't get it?

Students look at each other and smile nervously: Because we are too chicken to ask her?

*collectively shrug*

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #516

You know the IB has got you when somebody says "skeet" and the first thing you think of is the Olympic Sport...

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #530

The 'taster sessions' for prospective IB students.

The IB coordinator has set up a 'speed dating session' for the prospective students to lunch with the current students.

General chatter is happening, most people just eating.

IB coordinator, a man in his 60s, walks in and looks about.

Teacher: Just checking you weren't all having an orgy
Students: *nervous laughter*

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #535

Various quotes from my TOK class discussions

Dr Davey (TOK teacher, biologist)
"Shan't, won't, that's it, I'm not dividing"- on stem cell research
"What data can you get from ten dead insects?"- on marking biology exams
"No love eminating from this patosaurus at the moment"- after being called a medium sized grey animal
"I am NOT a blur. Not even a medium sized grey blur"- still offended about the grey animal thing
"Pigeons are landing very heavily on people's heads at the moment"- going off on a tangent, methinks
"The, er, alternative gender"- talking about men and their 'merits'

Dr Davey is a very special lady. TOK lessons are fun!

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1233

IB stands for

Its Bullsh**

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #268

Physics teacher with bad English: "Delta is from the beginning the grease figure for D."

Vote: Yay! -34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #361

Chatting in IB Biology:
IB Girl L: "Yeah, first I had a tumor, then I got cancer, and then--"
IB Girl K: "Whoa! Oh my God! When was this??"
IB Girl L: "Wait, did I just say cancer?"
IB Girl K: "Yes.."
IB Girl L: "Oh. I MEAN, first I had a cyst, then I got surgery!"
IB Girl K: "Well... that's kinda different then, isn't it?"
Both, in a strange tumble of words: "we need to sleep... we've been studying too much...f*cking IB..."

Vote: Yay! -34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1274

A message fom an IB student to her father:
-Everything's fine except I've got a bad cold and almost no voice. I still went to school and I got my report grades-
He replies:
-You need to take care of yourself, get more sleep.
WHAT GRADES DID YOU GET???

Vote: Yay! -35 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1907

Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='


- by Sahiti

Vote: Yay! -35 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #447

Hey Todd! Your epididymis is showing!

Vote: Yay! -36 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #698

English HL teacher explaining about Julius Caesar.

Student 1 *commenting about the fight between one of the 2 jobless fucks in the play*: "It's like ancient swearing."

Vote: Yay! -36 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #219

Thelma after dropping out of IB

Thelma: Hey, I can't stand Math Studies anymore, that's why I dropped out .

Student: Wow that sucks.

Thelma: Yeah, and I heard that AP Geometry and AP Algebra at my friend's school are so much easier.

Student: -_-

Vote: Yay! -37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #270

[IB Mathematics]

Ms. Frisbie: And this is why God made the table setting. Wait, God made Texas...

Vote: Yay! -37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #388

History IA is a BITCH.

Only, it can't be settled with a fight.

Vote: Yay! -38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #94

IBS: Internal Bowel Syndrome

Vote: Yay! -39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #40

Naomi: Guys the end of the play says that, "I'd rather be dead than fat.......that's heavy"

Vote: Yay! -40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #122

(After hearing rumors of a Group 4 Project that lunch hour)

Student 1: What the hell is group 4?
Student 2: No idea but apparently we have to go to some meeting.
Student 3: Something to do with us doing some science project together.
Student 2: That's ok then I only do environmental systems.
Student 1: I need to do my World Lit 1.
Student 3: Well I donât give a @#£$ if you don't go just donât come asking me when you have no @£%&$"£% clue what to do.
Student 1 and 2: Meh I'll come then no need to do extra work trying to work out what to do in the first place.

Vote: Yay! -40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #174

Substitute: I used to teach from a chair on a table!

Class: ...why?

Substitute: I used to love to do crazy stuff! Which reminds me... I want a bagel and cream cheese...

Vote: Yay! -40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #156

This occurred randomly while walking through the mall.

IB Student: *pointing at other person's feet* Are those really actual shoes??

Vote: Yay! -41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #451

A pre-IB freshman econ class...

Teacher: SEX!
Students: *jump up*

Vote: Yay! -41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #230

I BS CAS hours!

Vote: Yay! -42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2105

IB is only two years. Hell is eternal. So it's worth it... riiiight?

Vote: Yay! -42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #542

Ms Richardson, English HL Teacher: "I don't understand shorthand. I once had to reply to an email and say 'Sorry, I don't know what you just said.' It was kind of embarrassing actually."
Matt: "Did you actually write out sorry?"
Ms. Richardson: "How else would I write it?"
Class: "Sry."
Karlena: "Or Sree." (ignored) "Or Sr3."
(entire class turns their heads to stare at Karlena)

Vote: Yay! -43 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #406

I want to B ... dead

Vote: Yay! -44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #476

On quote #236

What about the other 1000?

Vote: Yay! -44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #754

To be or not IB therefore there is no question

Vote: Yay! -46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #18

Alex: YESMAMNGF sda
Carson: ... What?
Alex: o my god
Alex: i seriously forgot what i was so happy about

Vote: Yay! -47 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #83

"It's so random, it's Chinese."
- About a particular student's odd sense of, well, everything.

Vote: Yay! -47 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1229

Asian: Yeah, I never went to math camp, isn't that sad?

Vote: Yay! -49 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #935

*Physics, after Grace asked yet another question*
Mrs. Birsan: Ok, im sorry, im going to have to limit you to 5 questions a class, it cant work like this

*2 minute ovation from the class, with Birsan just smiling at her desk*

note: She dropped physics the next week

Vote: Yay! -51 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: Yay! -52 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2114

in IB calculators learn to fly!

Vote: Yay! -53 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #213

A student is pretending to cough into a napkin with answers written on it.

Teacher: Um, are you alright?

Student: Oh um the napkin? Yeah um, yes I'm fine.

Girl with multi-touch e-ink interface in the nutrition section of her drink: You know, this has wifi as well.

Vote: Yay! -55 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #39

Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"

Vote: Yay! -56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

Vote: Yay! -56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #245

Mike: *Throws grape in air and catches it with mouth*

Steph: Ooh! Let me try! *Throws grape in air... doesn't come down.*

Mike + Steph: What the fuck!?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1279

Stephen Hawkins was the last IB student before CAS came in
yes, he may be smart, but look at his physical state!

- Ben Cole, Queensland Academy for Health Sciences

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2030

( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)

Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.

Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?

Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #325

My A-Level seniors have slogan for IB students:IB no life...IB noob..

Vote: Yay! -58 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #34

(on MSN)
Person 1: Damnit more ITGS homework
Person 2: kawk
Person 2: *lawl
Person 2: omfg...

Vote: Yay! -59 Nay! | Permalink

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