Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 18 19 20 21 >Quote #310
Sacrifice for the Glorious IB
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Quote #505
*a teacher is explaining about metallic bonding to Chemistry students*
Teacher: Metallic bonding have high conductivity because of the sea of electrons
Student: ...
*the teacher keeps explaining*
Student: ... *looking confused and look at the teacher*
*the teacher keeps explaining further*
Teacher: The low ionization energy, malleability and ductility are also because of the sea of electrons *writes 'sea of electrons' on the whiteboard*
Student: OHHH!! It's sea of electron. Now it makes sense... I thought you said C of electrons.
Other classmates: bleh -_-"
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Quote #841
Substitute Teacher: So... you guys are in IB?
Class: Yes.
Substitute Teacher: That's like AP, right?
Class: No, it's different.
Substitute Teacher: But both programs let you earn college credits, right? Then they're the same.
Class: They're not the same!
(A short debate ensues. The sub still doesn't believe there's a difference between IB and AP.)
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Quote #1410
What's the difference between a dead person and an IB student?
-NOTHING
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Quote #34
(on MSN)
Person 1: Damnit more ITGS homework
Person 2: kawk
Person 2: *lawl
Person 2: omfg...
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Quote #476
On quote #236
What about the other 1000?
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Quote #635
IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!
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Quote #754
To be or not IB therefore there is no question
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Quote #1023
IB- abbreviation for Internal Brain-damage
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Quote #1345
Student - Omg Spongebob is the best.
Teacher - Really?
Student - Yeah it totally pwns everything.
Teacher - You Obviously haven't had sex yet.
*Only in the IB*
SMT
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-26
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Quote #535
Various quotes from my TOK class discussions
Dr Davey (TOK teacher, biologist)
"Shan't, won't, that's it, I'm not dividing"- on stem cell research
"What data can you get from ten dead insects?"- on marking biology exams
"No love eminating from this patosaurus at the moment"- after being called a medium sized grey animal
"I am NOT a blur. Not even a medium sized grey blur"- still offended about the grey animal thing
"Pigeons are landing very heavily on people's heads at the moment"- going off on a tangent, methinks
"The, er, alternative gender"- talking about men and their 'merits'
Dr Davey is a very special lady. TOK lessons are fun!
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Quote #30
Class: Well there are other things to consider.
Mr. Belbin: That's opening another can of beans, guys
Class: hahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Did I say something wrong?
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Quote #606
IB slowly finger fucks you.
It's that bad.
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Quote #763
an ib stdnt wud look at dis, strggle in readin it, an gt psd of
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Quote #1229
Asian: Yeah, I never went to math camp, isn't that sad?
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Quote #9
A student's French paper used baisser in the wrong way.
French Teacher: je pensait que tu a fait quelqu'un chose apres s'as baisse une grenouille.....
[Note: ok my French might be rough but that's the general idea]
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Quote #698
English HL teacher explaining about Julius Caesar.
Student 1 *commenting about the fight between one of the 2 jobless fucks in the play*: "It's like ancient swearing."
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Quote #243
Mike: May I have another cookie?
Johana: Sure, here-
Ms. Lauter: Why are you giving him one? He's always making fun of you!
Johana: *Hands cookie* My cookies are golden!
Mike: They look more like white to me...
Johana: That's because I put alot of frosting!
Ms. Lauter: But you deserve it...you really do.
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Quote #1233
IB stands for
Its Bullsh**
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Quote #93
Student: Haha, and then he was laughing so hard.
Math teacher: What are you doing?
Student: Nothing...
Math teacher: GET OUT YOUR F..F... FREAKING MATH REVIEW NOW.
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Quote #64
Student 1: I'm scared of holding glass stuff because I'm afraid they'll break.
Student 2: Yeah, I'm scared of holding babies... you might hold them wrong, or drop them, or hurt them. That's why I always hold my babies when I'm sitting down.
Student: omfg... shit
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Quote #137
Maths teacher after deciding his students were working too quickly leaves the room to go and get more questions.
Student 1 drops her pen and lunges for her bag. Student 2 thinks she wants her calcualtor to work it out and quickly puts it on her table. Student 1 looks back up with a clementine.
Student 1: I didn't want a calculator, I wanted this! (holds up
clementine)
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Quote #1279
Stephen Hawkins was the last IB student before CAS came in
yes, he may be smart, but look at his physical state!
- Ben Cole, Queensland Academy for Health Sciences
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Quote #451
A pre-IB freshman econ class...
Teacher: SEX!
Students: *jump up*
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Quote #689
First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*
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Quote #935
*Physics, after Grace asked yet another question*
Mrs. Birsan: Ok, im sorry, im going to have to limit you to 5 questions a class, it cant work like this
*2 minute ovation from the class, with Birsan just smiling at her desk*
note: She dropped physics the next week
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Quote #1338
4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!
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Quote #388
History IA is a BITCH.
Only, it can't be settled with a fight.
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Quote #934
Grace: Why is world war one called a world war? I mean it was only fought in like europe.
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Quote #1274
A message fom an IB student to her father:
-Everything's fine except I've got a bad cold and almost no voice. I still went to school and I got my report grades-
He replies:
-You need to take care of yourself, get more sleep.
WHAT GRADES DID YOU GET???
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Quote #202
IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(
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Quote #791
What IB math does to us poor saps with no lives:
"Girls = Time x Money
Time = Money
Therefore: Girls = Money^2
Money = √evil
Girls = Money^2
Therefore Girls = (√evil)^2
Therefore Girls = evil"
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Quote #542
Ms Richardson, English HL Teacher: "I don't understand shorthand. I once had to reply to an email and say 'Sorry, I don't know what you just said.' It was kind of embarrassing actually."
Matt: "Did you actually write out sorry?"
Ms. Richardson: "How else would I write it?"
Class: "Sry."
Karlena: "Or Sree." (ignored) "Or Sr3."
(entire class turns their heads to stare at Karlena)
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Quote #39
Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"
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Quote #75
Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?
French Teacher: Umm, let me check.
Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?
French Teacher: Well, I forgot.
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Quote #605
rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...
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Quote #325
My A-Level seniors have slogan for IB students:IB no life...IB noob..
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Quote #503
IB student: Enjambent... Yes, I believe it to be a silent 'J'.
IB HL English Teacher: Actually, it's a silent 'B'.
Class chuckles
IB student: IT WAS A JOKE!!!!
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Quote #32
"Mao Ze-Dong!" - Josh
In response to the Carsoninian one enterting the room.
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Quote #667
In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....
People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.
People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the IBs..it's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...
(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)
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Quote #318
Student 1 points to a picture of a soldier: What's this?
Student 2: Well, ...that ...is called ...a MAN.
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Quote #941
IB kids throwing paper balls at each other in library and hiding behind the shelves....
Librarian: I've spent 15 years working in an elementary school library, you just demonstrated the same behavior as a 5th grader
IB student: That's because I'm in IB
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Quote #212
Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!
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Quote #1191
Channa- "In Chemistry Class, Kindra said that her idol was Hugh Hefner."
Caleb- "I seriously have no idea who that is..."
Kindra- "Man, you must not masturbate at all!!!"
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Quote #52
Once on a msn discussion about math portfolio
Quan: How many words do you have?
I.W: 140k and adding
Quat:....O.O ....
I.W: almost level 26 what level are you?
Quan:.....(30 seconds later) 35 =.=
I.W: O woot? ...... rite ....math portfolio... lol 1.5k words right now....thought u were asking about .... ye anyways p.k?
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Quote #547
Math teacher: So you have the species of male and female....
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Quote #556
Student 1: All the books we read in English class are feminist! God, women are annoying.
Student 2: Dude. We've only read like, half of them. And in case you didn't notice, Lord of the Flies was about a bunch of little boys...NO WOMEN!
Student 1: ....oh yeah.
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Quote #55
IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.
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Quote #1872
::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two
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Quote #1876
You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....
HAHA
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