Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 18 19 20 21 >Quote #754
To be or not IB therefore there is no question
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Quote #1680
"Having IB friends over for supper over Easter and to do English we there watching pirates of Caribbean 1"
Jack Sparrow: Consider your own fortunes gentlemen the deepest circle of hell is reserved for traitors and mutineers.
IB Student: Oh great so that's why we don't trust each other.
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Quote #2038
IB pickup line:
You must be chlorine cause you are polarizing my bond!
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Quote #1229
Asian: Yeah, I never went to math camp, isn't that sad?
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Quote #2030
( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)
Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.
Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?
Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?
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Quote #698
English HL teacher explaining about Julius Caesar.
Student 1 *commenting about the fight between one of the 2 jobless fucks in the play*: "It's like ancient swearing."
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Quote #1233
IB stands for
Its Bullsh**
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Quote #213
A student is pretending to cough into a napkin with answers written on it.
Teacher: Um, are you alright?
Student: Oh um the napkin? Yeah um, yes I'm fine.
Girl with multi-touch e-ink interface in the nutrition section of her drink: You know, this has wifi as well.
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Quote #388
History IA is a BITCH.
Only, it can't be settled with a fight.
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Quote #476
On quote #236
What about the other 1000?
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Quote #34
(on MSN)
Person 1: Damnit more ITGS homework
Person 2: kawk
Person 2: *lawl
Person 2: omfg...
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Quote #635
IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!
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Quote #606
IB slowly finger fucks you.
It's that bad.
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Quote #2069
IB Biology:
"your so hot... I'd attach you to my active site anyday."
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Quote #451
A pre-IB freshman econ class...
Teacher: SEX!
Students: *jump up*
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Quote #542
Ms Richardson, English HL Teacher: "I don't understand shorthand. I once had to reply to an email and say 'Sorry, I don't know what you just said.' It was kind of embarrassing actually."
Matt: "Did you actually write out sorry?"
Ms. Richardson: "How else would I write it?"
Class: "Sry."
Karlena: "Or Sree." (ignored) "Or Sr3."
(entire class turns their heads to stare at Karlena)
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Quote #935
*Physics, after Grace asked yet another question*
Mrs. Birsan: Ok, im sorry, im going to have to limit you to 5 questions a class, it cant work like this
*2 minute ovation from the class, with Birsan just smiling at her desk*
note: She dropped physics the next week
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Quote #1274
A message fom an IB student to her father:
-Everything's fine except I've got a bad cold and almost no voice. I still went to school and I got my report grades-
He replies:
-You need to take care of yourself, get more sleep.
WHAT GRADES DID YOU GET???
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Quote #243
Mike: May I have another cookie?
Johana: Sure, here-
Ms. Lauter: Why are you giving him one? He's always making fun of you!
Johana: *Hands cookie* My cookies are golden!
Mike: They look more like white to me...
Johana: That's because I put alot of frosting!
Ms. Lauter: But you deserve it...you really do.
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Quote #9
A student's French paper used baisser in the wrong way.
French Teacher: je pensait que tu a fait quelqu'un chose apres s'as baisse une grenouille.....
[Note: ok my French might be rough but that's the general idea]
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Quote #93
Student: Haha, and then he was laughing so hard.
Math teacher: What are you doing?
Student: Nothing...
Math teacher: GET OUT YOUR F..F... FREAKING MATH REVIEW NOW.
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Quote #137
Maths teacher after deciding his students were working too quickly leaves the room to go and get more questions.
Student 1 drops her pen and lunges for her bag. Student 2 thinks she wants her calcualtor to work it out and quickly puts it on her table. Student 1 looks back up with a clementine.
Student 1: I didn't want a calculator, I wanted this! (holds up
clementine)
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Quote #325
My A-Level seniors have slogan for IB students:IB no life...IB noob..
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Quote #1279
Stephen Hawkins was the last IB student before CAS came in
yes, he may be smart, but look at his physical state!
- Ben Cole, Queensland Academy for Health Sciences
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Quote #689
First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*
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Quote #39
Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"
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Quote #934
Grace: Why is world war one called a world war? I mean it was only fought in like europe.
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Quote #1338
4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!
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Quote #202
IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(
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Quote #763
an ib stdnt wud look at dis, strggle in readin it, an gt psd of
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Quote #30
Class: Well there are other things to consider.
Mr. Belbin: That's opening another can of beans, guys
Class: hahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Did I say something wrong?
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Quote #64
Student 1: I'm scared of holding glass stuff because I'm afraid they'll break.
Student 2: Yeah, I'm scared of holding babies... you might hold them wrong, or drop them, or hurt them. That's why I always hold my babies when I'm sitting down.
Student: omfg... shit
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Quote #503
IB student: Enjambent... Yes, I believe it to be a silent 'J'.
IB HL English Teacher: Actually, it's a silent 'B'.
Class chuckles
IB student: IT WAS A JOKE!!!!
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Quote #75
Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?
French Teacher: Umm, let me check.
Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?
French Teacher: Well, I forgot.
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Quote #667
In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....
People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.
People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the IBs..it's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...
(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)
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Quote #1994
J: Omg the jokes on IBquotes.com are SO relate able and funny!
A: Yeah iv read all of them 3 times and made notes on them
H: now THATS what the IB does to you! AAGH!
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Quote #605
rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...
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Quote #318
Student 1 points to a picture of a soldier: What's this?
Student 2: Well, ...that ...is called ...a MAN.
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Quote #791
What IB math does to us poor saps with no lives:
"Girls = Time x Money
Time = Money
Therefore: Girls = Money^2
Money = √evil
Girls = Money^2
Therefore Girls = (√evil)^2
Therefore Girls = evil"
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Quote #212
Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!
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Quote #941
IB kids throwing paper balls at each other in library and hiding behind the shelves....
Librarian: I've spent 15 years working in an elementary school library, you just demonstrated the same behavior as a 5th grader
IB student: That's because I'm in IB
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Quote #547
Math teacher: So you have the species of male and female....
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Quote #55
IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.
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Quote #1191
Channa- "In Chemistry Class, Kindra said that her idol was Hugh Hefner."
Caleb- "I seriously have no idea who that is..."
Kindra- "Man, you must not masturbate at all!!!"
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Quote #556
Student 1: All the books we read in English class are feminist! God, women are annoying.
Student 2: Dude. We've only read like, half of them. And in case you didn't notice, Lord of the Flies was about a bunch of little boys...NO WOMEN!
Student 1: ....oh yeah.
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Quote #1479
IB is reading these quotes and trying to answer the math questions in them
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Quote #1872
::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two
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Quote #32
"Mao Ze-Dong!" - Josh
In response to the Carsoninian one enterting the room.
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Quote #52
Once on a msn discussion about math portfolio
Quan: How many words do you have?
I.W: 140k and adding
Quat:....O.O ....
I.W: almost level 26 what level are you?
Quan:.....(30 seconds later) 35 =.=
I.W: O woot? ...... rite ....math portfolio... lol 1.5k words right now....thought u were asking about .... ye anyways p.k?
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Quote #1876
You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....
HAHA
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