Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
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IB Freshman: It's official. I'm an IB kid.
IB Senior: Why?
IB Freshman: I now have mastered the art of making coffee without waking my mom up.
Vote:
-11
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Quote #88
Student: Is that gunna be on the test?
Vote:
-12
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Quote #209
GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)
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-12
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Quote #240
Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.
*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*
Mike: DINOSAUR NAZIS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
Vote:
-12
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Quote #1223
Mom: Please, buy the white dress to wear to prom, it looks gorgeous on you!
Patricia: Noo, but I like this other one so much more. It'll be okay, I'll wear an even nicer white dress when I get married.
Mom: *squeaky voice* YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET MARRIED, YOU'RE IN IB!
Patricia: ...Mom?
Vote:
-12
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Quote #16
Vlad: Have you ever read the "Da Vinci Code"?
Jason: Did you have to read that for English?
Vlad: No... I read it for fun.
Jason: Dude what the fuck do you read books for?
Vote:
-13
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Quote #650
IB is mentally raping me..
Vote:
-13
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Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
Vote:
-14
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Quote #269
[In IB Math Studies]
Frisbie: You know, physics is describing reality, not positing what we'd like.
Vote:
-14
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Quote #1240
Let's all go drink some water and make our cells hypotonic!!!!!!!!!!!
Vote:
-14
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Quote #420
"That's a very simple explanation of the Year 7 transfer...of pain."
Physics Teacher talking about Translational Kinetic energy in relation to an experiment he did with year 7's punching each other.
Vote:
-15
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Quote #107
[Imperial March Theme Song]
Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...
[Strangling]
Vote:
-16
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Quote #551
"You start with your tongue at the top and work your way down. Or you bite off the bottom and suck it all out. See? In an ice cream cone, order makes all the difference!"
- Math HL teacher, on combinatorics
Vote:
-16
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Quote #1023
IB- abbreviation for Internal Brain-damage
Vote:
-16
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Quote #173
In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:
Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place
Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*
Student 2: You are so STUPID!
Vote:
-17
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Quote #359
Math Teacher: "Lets all just pause and enjoy this moment, 'cause it's all about to go beedonk!"
Vote:
-17
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Quote #800
Two IB students: (one bent over in front of the other)
IB Chemistry teacher: HEY! No covalent bonding without C3H3N!
Vote:
-17
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Quote #232
MYP: Because our school wasn't properly cheesy enough.
Vote:
-18
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Quote #258
Dictatorsarefun: But all your thinking is theoretical, I can't accept it with out empirical data
Dictatorsarefun: only humor it
VoteforNimitz: It's acceptable until a better data model is available
VoteforNimitz: It has the most theoretical backing
VoteforNimitz: otherwise we are mulling around without a clue as to what's going on like a bunch of Saxons
VoteforNimitz: The acceptance of theory allows for some illusion of knowledge
Dictatorsarefun: ahahhaha
Vote:
-18
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Quote #381
It's Easter and the person who deals with our EE's sends an e-mail out to everyone... and it says:
"Don't over do on the EEggs!"
Clue 姐 who is reading it groans at the pun... Muse Addict who is also reading it asks:
"huh?"
Clue 姐 points out the bad joke to Muse Addict who replies:
"I thought it was a typo!"
Vote:
-18
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Quote #599
After a Physics exam the only formula you know is E=hf
Exam = hard *uck
Vote:
-18
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Quote #1264
SL & HL Biology class.
Topic was ecology and energy flow in a food web.
Teacher:
"So if we have 14 tons of vegetables and a mutant mouse eats them all you get 10% energy going to the mouse and 90% is lost. If an elephant then eats the mouse it gets 10% energy and 90% is lost. A Dragon might then eat the elephant and if this happens it will get 10% energy and 90% is lost. Now, if we choose to make Dragon meat-stakes, how many stakes would we get?"
The answer was 40 Dragon meat-stakes. He then proceeded to ensure that we wouldn´t use this magnificent example in the finals.
Vote:
-18
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Quote #426
The ultimate geek joke:
Paddy: Can you tell the difference between a gas and a plasma just by looking?
James: I dunno. I guess not. They'd probably look the same.
Paddy: Ohhh...... (makes flapping movements in the direction of James)
James: Ahhh! Paddy's throwing ions at me!
Yingke: Shouldn't you be dead?
James: Apparently not.
Vote:
-19
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Quote #238
Blackmon: The district has never done anything right! Hello, the FCRAP?!?!
Johana: The what?
Blackmon: FCRAP?
Johana: Don't you mean the FCAT?
Blackmon: Wow! REALLY? *sighs*
Vote:
-20
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Quote #345
Spanish A1 HL1 Teacher: What did you learn from The Stranger?
Student 1: To be honest with one self?
*class laughs*
Teacher: And you student 2?
Student 2: (thinks for five minutes( I have no idea...
Teacher: There are times in your life when you wish you where a taxi driver.
Vote:
-20
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Quote #680
Physics teacher: Who knows what the largest star is?
Rory: oh yeah I know this one, pretty sure I saw it last night.
Physics Teahcer: uh Rory that was the moon.
Rory: :O sir, no it wasn't ...it was bigger than that
Physics teacher: the sun then?
Vote:
-20
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Quote #198
During a review period in English class.
IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!
Vote:
-21
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Quote #1094
(Class just receives Biology quizzes back in which everybody failed horribly)
MR. K: Okay kids, come on now...lets see. Do you guys know what this class doesn't do?
Student: STUDY.
Mr. K: You all don't...(laughs at comment) haha I was going to say you all don't ever wash the sinks but yes. START STUDYING.
Vote:
-21
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Quote #74
Mrs. Mahone, cherfully, in response to a complaining class:
"Welcome to IB!!!"
Vote:
-22
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Quote #248
Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!
Vote:
-22
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Quote #298
German teacher/ex-FBI Agent explains how to connect nine dots with three lines without moving the pencil.
Herr Davis: If I walked through that wall I could keep going until....... and the dots would be connected.
Student: I have $5 for you to walk through that wall, that's what they taught you in the FBI.
Vote:
-22
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Quote #1175
Grace: "Okay so how many labs can we do in the next two years?"
Biology Teacher: "Well, we could do this, this, and this, and... if other ideas... brain unit... and conditioned the cats..." *continues on tangent for about ten minutes*
Grace: "Okay wait so what was the answer to how many labs?"
Vote:
-22
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Quote #2105
IB is only two years. Hell is eternal. So it's worth it... riiiight?
Vote:
-22
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Quote #135
"We are living in a land of opportunity. We're practically swimming in fields of singles ready to mingle."
- Mark (on a conversation with Lauren about 3rd world countries and Lavalife)
Vote:
-23
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Quote #391
What does IB mean?
Internal Bullshit!
Vote:
-23
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Quote #500
Remember seventh grade, when five pages was too much, and now it's eighth grade, and we've got to have thirty pages done on the first night to meet Mr. Unmack's requirements... Damnit, I gotta type that damn fairytale, it's only 45,000 words long!
Vote:
-23
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Quote #124
What happens when IB students have too much information of great historical value:
IB History HL teacher, waving around a picture of a historical figure: "Who was General Weimar?"
...no answer from class...
someone murmurs: "A general?"
"Weimar is a town, you're so extremely stupid!!"
Vote:
-24
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Quote #239
Blackmon: ...Such as Homo erectus.
Johana: *laughs*
Blackmon: I really do not even WANT to know what you're thinking...
Johana: *laughs more*
Blackmon: Hilarious as the name is, Homo erectus was our ancestor.
Johana: Wait...what? Really?
Students: OMFG! RETARD!
Vote:
-24
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Quote #458
IB sucks the living and mortal soul from your body
Vote:
-24
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Quote #217
Light is a wave on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and a particle on every other day! WTF?
Vote:
-25
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Quote #354
In a Business & Management Class...
B&M and Physics student: Sir, what's the unit of the break even volume?
Teacher: Unit.
B&M and Physics student: No I mean, metres cubed or centimetres cubed.....?!?!?
The other B&M and Physics student: HAHAHAHA
B&M and other non-physics students: Huh??
Vote:
-25
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Quote #516
You know the IB has got you when somebody says "skeet" and the first thing you think of is the Olympic Sport...
Vote:
-25
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Quote #1345
Student - Omg Spongebob is the best.
Teacher - Really?
Student - Yeah it totally pwns everything.
Teacher - You Obviously haven't had sex yet.
*Only in the IB*
SMT
Vote:
-25
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Quote #2107
IB student1: Man, I can't believe I finally remember something I dreamt!
IB student2: Really? What did you dream?
IB student1: I was at home...doing my extended essay...and even in my dream it was hell...
IB student2:......
Vote:
-25
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Quote #268
Physics teacher with bad English: "Delta is from the beginning the grease figure for D."
Vote:
-26
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Quote #362
Emily L: Wow Christian, you and the animals. You're always talking about breeding turtles, and Siberian tigers, and Norwegian rabbits and--
Christian: Yeah, but there probably aren't even any rabbits in Norwegia.
Emily K and Emily L: Wait...
Vote:
-26
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Quote #974
At the grade 10 information night.
Coordinator to crowd of parents: So these days whats the first thing kids will do to find information.
IBers in back:(simultaneous) GOOGLE
Coordinator: So when kids go to get their notes where do you think they will go these days.
IBers: (simultaneous) MOODLE
Parent later on: what the $#@^ is Moodle
Us: MOODLE is an acronym for modulated object oriented learning environment.
obviously confused Parent: can you translate that for me?
Vote:
-26
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Quote #208
Geography Teacher: Why is deforestation such a problem?
Student: Because people are cutting down trees
*laughing*
Teacher: Yes, because the word deforestation means to cut down trees. But why are people cutting down trees?
Student: Because they have nothing better to do.
*Cue even more laughter*
Vote:
-27
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Quote #475
No matter how much homework you did last night, Cam did more.
Vote:
-27
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Quote #219
Thelma after dropping out of IB
Thelma: Hey, I can't stand Math Studies anymore, that's why I dropped out .
Student: Wow that sucks.
Thelma: Yeah, and I heard that AP Geometry and AP Algebra at my friend's school are so much easier.
Student: -_-
Vote:
-29
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