Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 16 17 18 19 20 > Last ›Quote #419
Said while doing Astrophysics and looking at how large the universe is:
"I feel so small! I mean there's no one for miles!!"
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Quote #531
Health Teacher to Freshmen IB Class during Sex Ed Week: "So what have you all heard about P.P.'s?
Kids: *AWKWARD SILENCE* ...what?
Health Teacher: Personal Projects!
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Quote #534
History teacher trying to explain education during the Russian Revolution
"The level of education went from here-ish (held hand up high) to about there-ish (lowers hand)"
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Quote #85
Student 1: In Shakespeare's Othello (pronounced Othayo) they come from the city of Venice (pronounced Venus).
Student 2: David, its OTHELLO, and VENICE. God, your an idiot.
[class hold back laughter]
Student 1: Oh!!! OK sorry. So Othayo...
[class bursts out laughing]
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Quote #319
I came, I saw, IB.
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Quote #422
Passionate teachers treat their lessons like sex. They self indulge in deep interpretations, ideas that flow one onto another, and use excessively the words "MORE! MORE!!"
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Quote #529
TOK teacher is a man of about 60....
Student: I think the ladder of love signifies an advancement through years of love. Like how it becomes richer and more powerful through time.
Teacher: Well, I'm ashamed to say that I think people can go up and down the ladder. I still enjoy sex with my wife. Very much so. I like being at the bottom of the ladder.
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Quote #549
History teacher: So, how would one stop Pontiac's rebellion?
Student: Start FORD!
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Quote #756
Non IB Student: YO! I got HIGH !
IB Sudent:I got HIGH too :) a 6-
what did YOU get on the test :/
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Quote #16
Vlad: Have you ever read the "Da Vinci Code"?
Jason: Did you have to read that for English?
Vlad: No... I read it for fun.
Jason: Dude what the fuck do you read books for?
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Quote #121
Music teacher: What's one important thing you remember about Wagner?
Student: He didn't like Jewish people.
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Quote #240
Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.
*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*
Mike: DINOSAUR NAZIS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
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Quote #299
In an IB English A1 HL class.
Student: So, the poet means to say that God is dead... and gay!
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Quote #138
Maths Teacher after being asked about tree diagrams and how they work: It's like being
dyslexic once you know you can compensate.
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Quote #195
Geography Teacher: So what is it you know about genitalpositions?
Class: Zenithalposition!
Teacher: ...anyways! You know exactly what I was talking about.
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Quote #54
Literature Teacher: Nuns dress in black because they are all married with Jesus, who is dead.
Caesar: So Jesus is a polygam?
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Quote #107
[Imperial March Theme Song]
Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...
[Strangling]
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Quote #160
IB Program = I be procrastinating!
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Quote #1904
A WWF Representative once present their symbol to IB students.
WWF Representative: What do you see?
IB Student: It's one of Gestalt Principles, closure. That is when the viewer's perception completes a shape.
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Quote #704
IB biology student: "we're so hot our enzymes denaturate!"
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Quote #269
[In IB Math Studies]
Frisbie: You know, physics is describing reality, not positing what we'd like.
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Quote #639
Since you are procrastinating anyway, do the following drawing that was presented to the BSRJ History HL students by the very talented Mr. Nash ("talented" was not sarcastic, he's awesome):
1. Draw a circle and call it Germany.
2. Draw another circle right underneath it and call it Austria.
3. Erase the junction to form a butt-looking Anschluss.
4. Draw a long horizontal cylindric/oval shape with one end (western border, i.e. left end) touching the junction and call it Czechoslovakia.
5. Outline the left tip of Czechoslovakia and call it the Sudetenland.
6. Now, draw a small horizontal line through the Sudetenland to indicate the path of the troops.
Can you believe this map was drawn accidentally?
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Quote #66
"Could you guys stop arguing over my head? I'm trying to READ"
A student in ITGS class, when another student was whining at the teacher
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Quote #367
Math teacher: Thou shall not spaz!
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Quote #420
"That's a very simple explanation of the Year 7 transfer...of pain."
Physics Teacher talking about Translational Kinetic energy in relation to an experiment he did with year 7's punching each other.
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Quote #1275
"I B or not I B,
Should that even be a question?"
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Quote #88
Student: Is that gunna be on the test?
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Quote #18
Alex: YESMAMNGF sda
Carson: ... What?
Alex: o my god
Alex: i seriously forgot what i was so happy about
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Quote #258
Dictatorsarefun: But all your thinking is theoretical, I can't accept it with out empirical data
Dictatorsarefun: only humor it
VoteforNimitz: It's acceptable until a better data model is available
VoteforNimitz: It has the most theoretical backing
VoteforNimitz: otherwise we are mulling around without a clue as to what's going on like a bunch of Saxons
VoteforNimitz: The acceptance of theory allows for some illusion of knowledge
Dictatorsarefun: ahahhaha
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Quote #333
Freshman Pre-IB Math
Student 1-What did the angel say to the other angle?
Teacher - Let's stop stalling for the test.
Student 1- NO! lets co-inside!
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Quote #551
"You start with your tongue at the top and work your way down. Or you bite off the bottom and suck it all out. See? In an ice cream cone, order makes all the difference!"
- Math HL teacher, on combinatorics
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Quote #209
GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)
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Quote #381
It's Easter and the person who deals with our EE's sends an e-mail out to everyone... and it says:
"Don't over do on the EEggs!"
Clue 姐 who is reading it groans at the pun... Muse Addict who is also reading it asks:
"huh?"
Clue 姐 points out the bad joke to Muse Addict who replies:
"I thought it was a typo!"
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Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
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Quote #557
Student 1: (after prattling on for almost five minutes) So as you can see, when Pedro and Juan initiate the sex, it's great. But when Rosaura starts it with Pedro, it's really bad for both of them.
Student 2: So in a 5-second summary, sex is only good when the men start it.
Guys in the class: *cheer*
Girls in the class: *glare*
Teacher: Okay, moving on...
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Quote #680
Physics teacher: Who knows what the largest star is?
Rory: oh yeah I know this one, pretty sure I saw it last night.
Physics Teahcer: uh Rory that was the moon.
Rory: :O sir, no it wasn't ...it was bigger than that
Physics teacher: the sun then?
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Quote #135
"We are living in a land of opportunity. We're practically swimming in fields of singles ready to mingle."
- Mark (on a conversation with Lauren about 3rd world countries and Lavalife)
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Quote #298
German teacher/ex-FBI Agent explains how to connect nine dots with three lines without moving the pencil.
Herr Davis: If I walked through that wall I could keep going until....... and the dots would be connected.
Student: I have $5 for you to walk through that wall, that's what they taught you in the FBI.
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Quote #359
Math Teacher: "Lets all just pause and enjoy this moment, 'cause it's all about to go beedonk!"
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Quote #500
Remember seventh grade, when five pages was too much, and now it's eighth grade, and we've got to have thirty pages done on the first night to meet Mr. Unmack's requirements... Damnit, I gotta type that damn fairytale, it's only 45,000 words long!
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Quote #536
Quotes overheard in various classes. It's a wonder half of these people are even in the IB:
"I don't have palm cards, I have arm cards"- Nobby decided to cut his entire speech up and use them for his oral
"Just because you yell it doesn't mean you're right!!"- she yelled.
"Is pasta vegetarian?"
"I can't make my words any..uh..un-smarter than they already are"- as evident by that sentence, Nobby
"I'm spoonerific!"- a discussion about the differences between dislexia and spoonerisms. From Nobby
"The law is you have to cover your various naughty bits"- TOK
"Your fingers are like delicate little children"
"Water shouldn't be bottled..it should be free..and stuff"- ethics of bottling water
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Quote #1240
Let's all go drink some water and make our cells hypotonic!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quote #1907
Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='
- by Sahiti
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Quote #248
Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!
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Quote #426
The ultimate geek joke:
Paddy: Can you tell the difference between a gas and a plasma just by looking?
James: I dunno. I guess not. They'd probably look the same.
Paddy: Ohhh...... (makes flapping movements in the direction of James)
James: Ahhh! Paddy's throwing ions at me!
Yingke: Shouldn't you be dead?
James: Apparently not.
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Quote #725
Myself and my friend (IB-ers) go into a non-IB household. Our other friend, Non-IB, is heating up soup in a pot on her stove.
Me: Mm, something smells good.
Non-IB: Thanks! It's soup I made.
Me: Very nice. Oh, here, *IB Friend*, come inside.
IB Friend: Hey! I smell diffussion- CRAP, I mean I smell soup!
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Quote #198
During a review period in English class.
IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!
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Quote #1223
Mom: Please, buy the white dress to wear to prom, it looks gorgeous on you!
Patricia: Noo, but I like this other one so much more. It'll be okay, I'll wear an even nicer white dress when I get married.
Mom: *squeaky voice* YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET MARRIED, YOU'RE IN IB!
Patricia: ...Mom?
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Quote #173
In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:
Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place
Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*
Student 2: You are so STUPID!
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Quote #232
MYP: Because our school wasn't properly cheesy enough.
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