Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
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Math teacher passes out a piece of paper that says, "The Big Three"
Student: Oh, look! It's Clemenceau! And Lloyd George and Woodrow Wilson!
Math Teacher: Actually, I was referring to the three major car companies in Detroit...
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Quote #2093
IBer 1: IBers have an obsession and cannot do ANYTHING without thinking they should be working.
IBer 2: But, how do you know?
IBer 1: *runs to continue with EE research*
IBer 2: oo good plan.. CAS hours!! :)
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Quote #91
IB History Teacher: *sneezes* I'm allergic to students.
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Quote #97
"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL
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Quote #105
Sitting next to a pretty girl and talking for hours can feel like minutes but sitting on a hot stove for a few minutes can feel like hours. THATS relativity.
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Quote #142
A friend in IB:
Applied math is physics.
Applied physics is chem.
Applied chem is bio.
Applied bio is FUN!
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Quote #284
Chemistry teacher: Here's the percent error formula: you minus God over God times a hundred.
Student 1: Wait, what?
Chemistry teacher: You heard me.
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Quote #282
Agitated French Teacher: I'm gonna hang you if you don't conjugate this verb.
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Quote #297
IB Student: Last night I prayed a natural disaster would happen so that I could get out of this AP MEH test, I cried when I woke up.
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Quote #215
Sr. B: IB is like eating an elephant. You must take it one bite at a time.
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Quote #429
Who built the ToK ArK?
Knower!
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Quote #608
(NON IB STUDENT):
..martin.. - ( ) says:
IB kids waste too much time by reading and talking about how much they hate IB
(IB STUDENT):
rachel<33 says:
I hate IB
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Quote #1214
Student 1: I think I should take methamphetamine.
Bio teacher: Are you crazy? Those things eventually lead to psychosis!
Student: I don't care! I have to pass my IBs. I need all the energy and sleepless nights I can get.
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Quote #1273
You know you're in IB when you're given an extended lunch break and when the bell rings you start wondering what you could be doing in class.
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Quote #414
You know you're in IB when you can see individual air molecules vibrating
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Quote #101
History teacher: The atlatl was an important development, because it allowed spears to be thrown much further and more accurately. For example, it would be quite easy for me to hit that student smoking down there.
Student: They should make that into a stop-smoking campaign!
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Quote #126
Proof that IB has distorted your perception of the world:
History teacher draws squiggles on the whiteboard:
"Now what is that?"
Class: "Schleswig-Holstein!"
*Teacher adds a squiggle*
"And that?"
Class: "Jutland!"
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Quote #249
TOK teacher: "The most disruptive member of society is the male member."
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Quote #386
Ibid. (Latin, short for ibidem, "the same place") is the term used to provide an endnote or footnote citation or reference for a source that was cited in the preceding endnote or footnote.
IBID = International Baccalaureate Is Death.
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Quote #467
IB Calculus teacher: *frustrated* You guys are like monkeys with your bananas in your hands, just poking them randomly to see if you can find a space to stick them! You should be EXPERTS at plugging in by this point; you've been doing it for years!
Antonio: haha, plugging in!
Class: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Teacher: *baffled*
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Quote #416
During a year 11 TOK class
“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”
Bertrand Russell (1917)
Student: Oh great, another pointless part of TOK.
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Quote #425
Pre IB student: SO SO SO, is IB fun?
IB student: um, hmm, mhmm, eh. *grimaces*
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Quote #437
History Teacher: What comes to mind when talking about China?
IB Student: Fung shway?
History Teacher: What's that?
IB Student: The concept of selling crappy quality card tables to westerners.
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Quote #988
Ms Bigras: If you don't stop talking I'm going to throw you out the window. Actually, I'll put you in a microwave at the back of the room.
IB student: We learned about microwaves today! Apparently they can burn your skin off!
Ms Bigras: Thats great, stop talking.
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Quote #267
IB English Teacher: After reading your World Lit papers, I wanted to go spend my night drinking and drown my sorrows in alcohol.
*Class roars with laughter*
IB English Teacher: What? I AM over 21, you know.
Student: The legal drinking age is 19.
IB English Teacher: Well, I'm over 19 too.
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Quote #317
Math class, talking about provincials:
Teacher: ...and when you're filling the numbers in on the bubble sheet make sure it's really clear what number it is, cause the computer can get it confused... don't make your fives look like eights.
Student 1: What about European sevens?
Teacher: Like with a dash through them? That's fine.
Student 2: What about asian fives?
Teacher: ...What the HELL is an ASIAN FIVE!?!
Class: ahahahhahhahahahhahahah lolololol
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Quote #343
American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.
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Quote #350
IB Maths student: Why did we do that?
IB Maths teacher: Because the question asked.
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Quote #365
IB SL Business Teacher: So how does the money flow out of a business other than purchases of sales, loans, rent or advertising?
IB Student: Bribes
*class laughs*
IB SL Business Teacher, shuffles paper and discreetly looks at her notes: I don't think so.
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Quote #224
IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.
(The word they were looking for was "querido")
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Quote #415
In TOK class trying to define 'good' and giving examples of when we use it
Student 1: 'Good' is what you use to describe something that is not bad.
Student 2: But that definition doesn't apply to all uses of it.
Student 1: But for example out of a 'good boy' and a 'bad boy' then of course the good is the one you would want.
TOK teacher: Uh... really??
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Quote #444
*while watching a kid throw someone's book on the floor and run away*
Michael: Don't worry. He has the intellectual capacity of an amoeba.
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Quote #515
School shooter? I'm too fucking busy to be a school shooter!
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Quote #20
Maria: B.e.i.n.g, is that how u spell being?
[Note: This took place during an MSN chat]
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Quote #36
Class: You know, lots of people can access that...
Mr. Belbin: I know what you guys mean, but it's not like any random Bloe Joe on the street knows how to use it.
Class: hahahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Sometimes I just don't understand you guys.
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Quote #304
(In IB HL Chemistry class)
Student 1: When is our test for this unit?
Chem Teacher: Thursday.
Student 2: But we have an APUSH test that day!
Student 3: And an English quiz!
Chem Teacher: Sorry, guys, I can't change it.
(Students groan and generally complain)
Chem Teacher: You guys are going to be really upset in a minute.
Student 1: Why?
Chem Teacher: I have your grade printouts.
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Quote #590
Student: Teacher, when will we get our tests back from 2 weeks ago?
Teacher: You students, don't you realize that it's because of you students that i get so stressed?? I have to teach you everyday and i even have to mark your papers! No, never ask me this again. I will give you you're papers back when i want to.
Students: Well, how many have you started marking?
Teacher: As i said, i'm a very stressed and busy woman. So i have only marked 5.
Student: Teacher, then what should i do if i have to study for 5 tests, do 4 assignments, 2 projects, and 2 presentations?
Teacher: Well then, that's you're problem.
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Quote #991
Marking up first chapter of Therese Raquin:
IB student: Look, it describes the walls as being damp... do you think that this is connected to the drowning that occurs afterwards in the book? Cause you know.. water is damp...
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Quote #170
IB, I'm Better.
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Quote #519
TOK: What is math?
Student 1: Math is a way of expressing ideas. Math is it's own language.
Student 2: Math is more than just a language. Math allows us to express ideas and statements that are impossible to express using a natural language.
Student 1: Can you give me an example?
-GDHS I.B 2007-2009
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Quote #609
emily louise anne says:
what can i write a tok jounal on?
Courtney says:
does it have to be on something youve talked about in class?
emily louise anne says:
no
Courtney says:
ooohk
Courtney says:
write it on a life experience
emily louise anne says:
i dont have a life
emily louise anne says:
i do IB
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Quote #1840
You know you have an IB friendly Spanish teacher when:
She tells all the non-Diploma people to not bother showing up for class on Monday. Because of all the days off we have for IB testing she decided to get a manicure and come in late.
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Quote #70
English teacher: "So in House of the Spirits, you have Miguel and Alba, Pedro and Blanca, Nicolas and Amanda...it's an orgy of forbidden love!"
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Quote #120
In Music...
Student: This song is SUFFERING and PAIN and DARKNESS and DEATH!!!!!
*begins playing Mozart's Rondo a la Turk*
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Quote #166
What is IB? Alcatraz, and the subjects are the prisoners.
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Quote #184
*During a conversation on metaphisical statements in TOK*
TOK Teacher: I can't help but think that God is rather indifferent as to the amount of cabbage that you eat.
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Quote #201
TOK Teacher (about "general truths"): Well, quartz is a metal, everyone agrees with that...
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Quote #399
Why join the I.B. or A.P. if you are going to end up at S.P. (suicide prevention)
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Quote #424
When I started at an IB school I though "wow this school is gonna be really nerdy". After a couple of weeks I realized "wow this school really isn't nerdy!"
Now I know I just became more nerdy!
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Quote #430
Chemistry Teacher: (writes an equation on the board including around 2 tons of carbon)
Student 1: (Reads equation) That's a whole lot of carbon!!
Student 2: You're a whole lot of carbon!!
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