Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
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Girl: I love you more than I love the air I breathe. Beat that.
Guy: Well, I love you more than a hydrogen loves an oxygen. That's the strongest bond.
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Quote #826
IB math pick-up lines:
"Are you a differential equation? 'Cause I want to be tangent to your curves."
"I don't want to be obtuse, but you're acute boy."
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Quote #843
Teacher: And to find the amount of molecules, we use Avogadro's number...
Student: What the hell do avocados have to do with anything?
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Quote #849
Psych Class performing role plays on how Humanistic Therapy sessions go.
Teacher: ok one of you make up a scenario.
Student 1 (patient): Alright I just killed my mother, burnt down the school and am now preparing to kill myself! All because of the voices in my head!! Fix me doc!
Student 2 (therapist): you're a great person and i see your full potential??
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Quote #863
"Hitler drank out of paper cups so you know, if you drink from one, you're pretty much drinking with Hitler." -Will during a presentation about why plastic cups are the best.
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Quote #874
The First day of IB History of the Americas....
Teacher: The homework is optional. You can do it or you can not do it, it doesn't make a difference.
Student: Really?!
Teacher: Sure
Day after the first quiz....
Student: Oh no, I failed the quiz!
Teacher: What did you expect? You didn't do any of the homework.
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Quote #886
IB Student: I'm dying *coughing*
Bio teacher: Ok. Then do it quietly.
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Quote #25
Ms. Shannon (when physics students were studying for a test in her room during lunch time): Why don't you guys go ask Ms. Birsan, if you don't get it?
Students look at each other and smile nervously: Because we are too chicken to ask her?
*collectively shrug*
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Quote #70
English teacher: "So in House of the Spirits, you have Miguel and Alba, Pedro and Blanca, Nicolas and Amanda...it's an orgy of forbidden love!"
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Quote #81
Talking about the book Clockwork Orange in A1 language class.
Student 1: Actually, I don't know what a clockwork is
Student 2: I don't know what an orange is... Nevermind.
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Quote #107
[Imperial March Theme Song]
Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...
[Strangling]
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Quote #138
Maths Teacher after being asked about tree diagrams and how they work: It's like being
dyslexic once you know you can compensate.
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Quote #140
"He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How."
-Nietzsche
Maybe he was wrong?...
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Quote #151
About the Senior Send-off Rally:
"We are here today to say good-bye to our bright futures."
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Quote #173
In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:
Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place
Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*
Student 2: You are so STUPID!
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Quote #194
Student comes 20 minutes late to class: I'm sorry I'm late. I was waiting outside the classroom so as to not disturb the class.
Teacher: How nice...
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Quote #198
During a review period in English class.
IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!
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Quote #264
IB, therefore I am.
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Quote #399
Why join the I.B. or A.P. if you are going to end up at S.P. (suicide prevention)
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Quote #404
Lachlan: I'm notorious for my poor work ethic.........but not the kind of notorious that gets chicks...it's disappointing...
.........!
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Quote #597
IB Student: Mr. Carlson, I'm only a Pre-IB sophomore and I have to take three AP Exams this year.
Mr. Carlson: Come on, that's no way to look at things. Some people don't have any AP Exams at all.
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Quote #600
"CAS, EE, TOK essay, IAs. You know you're in the IB, when the exam period, is the most relaxing time you've had."
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Quote #612
It's sad when after getting back your mid-term grades you want to call everyone you know and tell the how happy you are because you've gone up from a D to a C
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Quote #708
Biology teacher enters the class. He pulls out the brown envelope filled with marked labs.
Teacher: I must say, now I have seen everything.
Class: ?
Teacher: [writes on board the word peacock] What is this?
Class: [simultaneously] It's a bird. A peacock.
Teacher: Mhm. Isabelle, would you care to explain what you wrote?
Isabelle: Oh...
Teacher [turns to the class and writes on the board]: This lady wrote "pee-cock". Sexual frustration can get to you.
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Quote #806
Biology teacher: [looking at words written on whiteboard] Who wrote "active transportation" in here?
Students: Uhhh...You did...
Teacher: Okay, who shouted it out then?
[everyone points at Eduardo]
Teacher: Eduardo, why did you say that? It has nothing to do with the topic...
Eduardo: I don't know...Everyone was just shouting out words and I wanted to shout something out too.
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Quote #833
IB English Teacher: So, what do you think will happen at the end of this book?
IB student: I think everyone is going to die.
IB English Teacher: (surprised at answer) why do you say that?!
IB student: (matter of factly) Well, there's at least a 50% mortality rate in all of our books.
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Quote #848
English Class studying "Death of a Salesman"
Student: Hold on! Doesn't having a 'Requiem' spoil the ending? I mean we didn't know that Willy actually died just then!
Teacher: Did you even LOOK at the title of the play? .....DEATH of a salesman?
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Quote #850
"In IB, you learn to appreciate life more. It's like a near-death experience!"
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Quote #879
Talking about possibly being sick...
Genie: Is it actually hurting or are you just paranoid?
Patricia: Actually hurting.
Genie: I learned that a person who is always paranoid of these things is called a Hypochondriac.
Patricia: It makes me think of organelles. Mitochondria.
Genie: It makes me think of cartilege cells, chondrocytes.
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Quote #916
The realization of being IB hit me when the high point of my year was a lab that involved dropping the textbook 2 stories to calculate the force at which it hit the ground.
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Quote #924
(Student) Mom I received my myp certificate.
(Mom) Umm... Whats that?
(Student) What i have been working for, for the last five years; the personal project, CAS hours, any of that ring a bell?
(Mom) A personal project? What are you talking about?
(Student) Ok, the late nights, lack of sleep, stress.
(Mom) Oh Ok.
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Quote #40
Naomi: Guys the end of the play says that, "I'd rather be dead than fat.......that's heavy"
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Quote #85
Student 1: In Shakespeare's Othello (pronounced Othayo) they come from the city of Venice (pronounced Venus).
Student 2: David, its OTHELLO, and VENICE. God, your an idiot.
[class hold back laughter]
Student 1: Oh!!! OK sorry. So Othayo...
[class bursts out laughing]
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Quote #95
IB Coordinator: MSN is the demise of my IB Program.
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Quote #209
GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)
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Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
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Quote #170
IB, I'm Better.
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Quote #187
IB Physics Lecture: Force at a distance is "magic". Fields allow us to abstractly quantify the magic.
Student 1: Magic?
Student 2: We should remember to put that on the test.
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Quote #217
Light is a wave on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and a particle on every other day! WTF?
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Quote #248
Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!
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Quote #268
Physics teacher with bad English: "Delta is from the beginning the grease figure for D."
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Quote #272
"I've had some physics students whose teachers have told them there is no negative time... that, of course, is crap."
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Quote #366
Art teacher: Humans made time, therefore we control time!
Rest of art class, still freaking out about an art project due the next day despite the help.
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Quote #367
Math teacher: Thou shall not spaz!
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Quote #391
What does IB mean?
Internal Bullshit!
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Quote #396
In a class discussion about whether Ophelia in Hamlet is pregnant:
IB Student: But... Pregnant people don't sing!
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Quote #419
Said while doing Astrophysics and looking at how large the universe is:
"I feel so small! I mean there's no one for miles!!"
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Quote #483
Preceding a presentation in a geography class...
Josh: Simon says, put your hand on your nose.
(Students all put their hands on their noses.)
Josh: Why'd you do that? I'm not Simon..
5 minutes later..((presentation has started))
Colin: Wait a minute... are you the representative of Simon?
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Quote #533
Mrs. M.: Tea Cake's real name is Vergeable Woods.
Me: Haha Mrs. M., that sounds like a pornstar name.
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Quote #611
(students talking excitedly in Bio Class)
Bio Teacher: i just finished grading your cell test...
complete silence...
(Non-IB teacher walks by...)
Non-IB teacher: i wonder how he commands so much respect from his students..."confused look"
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