Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
< 1 2 3 4 > Last ›Quote #86
English teacher is looking up a sex scene from Like Water For Chocolate: "Oh how ironic, its on page 69."
Half the class: "Whats so special about 69?"
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704
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Quote #1197
We nerds will rule the land, because you cannot kill what already has no life.
CB IB Ottawa
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688
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Quote #1464
AP student: I went to sleep at 9:30 last night!(:
Certificate IB student: ...I went to sleep at 12:45. :/
Diploma IB student: ...Screw you! I went to sleep at 2:30 and woke up at 4:00 to finish the rest of my homework.
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685
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Quote #517
Only in the IB can you be thinking so hard about something that you get into an argument with yourself about it, lose the argument and then refuse to talk to yourself for days.
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671
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Quote #1492
English Teacher: If there is a fork in a poem what could it be? What could it mean?
Student 1: A Weapon
Student 2: A choice that must be made
Student 3: A fork in a road
Student 4: It could be that there is a stabbing need for something
Teacher: Have you ever thought that it might just be a fork?
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652
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Quote #1795
You know when you're doing IB when:
You start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.
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652
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Quote #1814
You know your in IB when for the past four years, all the English books you have read, someone always dies...and their deaths are symbolic
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652
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Quote #4
"It's only 6 tests, how hard can it be to take 6 tests?"
- An IB student's little sister, age 9
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649
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Quote #300
The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsered by satan himself.
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648
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Quote #1386
Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?
IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.
Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.
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641
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Quote #1077
Rebel: Steals a cop car and drives it down a cliff.
IB Rebel: Drinks coke in the Library.
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634
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Quote #1270
When you join IB, you have frequent urges to run away screaming, but the wieght of your bookbag does not allow it.
~LHS IB Fresh
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623
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Quote #306
Teacher: Guys, be quiet. The seniors are giving orals in the closet.
Class: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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613
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Quote #1540
Tell a man about IB, and you hurt him for a day. Teach a man the IB, and you scar him for a lifetime.
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608
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Quote #585
Standard teacher walks into IB Classroom to talk to IB teacher.
Standard teacher: Man, these kids look tired.
IB Teacher: Seeing a well-rested IB student is like seeing a unicorn.
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601
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Quote #1656
I was planning on dropping IB, but as it turns out I procrastinated on that too.
Vote:
590
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Quote #1525
You know you're in IB when you know the difference between a TI-84 Silver Edition and a TI-84
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583
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Quote #1038
IB 1: Man! I studied so hard for that Chemistry Test.
IB 2: Oh so you studied in the shower too?
IB 1: WHAT?!?! how do you do that?
IB 2: You put your notes into those clear plastic envelope things and tape it to you shower wall.
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581
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Quote #3939
Rebel: Sneaks out/in of their house when they're supposed to be sleeping.
IB Rebel: Sneaks around own house to print homework when they're supposed to be sleeping.
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576
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Quote #567
Ever have those IB hell-days where you ask the voices in your head what's wrong with you and they don't know either?
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575
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Quote #323
(IB Coordinator has just had a baby, and brought her to school).
Student 1: (to baby) Are you going to be in IB when you're all grown up?
IB Coordinator: Say, 'Dear God, no.'
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567
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Quote #1436
Pre-IB: I'm thinking about taking 4 Higher Levels next year.
Ignorance is bliss.
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563
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Quote #1830
After seeing what the IB did to me, my parents found the perfect threat to use on my brother when he doesn't clean his room.
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556
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Quote #1863
"How do you even have time to read this ?"
...how do you even have time to write that?
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553
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Quote #441
Now I understand why 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. See, it means a 7 on all IB subjects. (excluding the 3 bonus points, of course)
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550
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Quote #1752
IB Bio class
IB Teacher: stress can cause infertility.
IB student: Oh, so i guess us IB kids are never giving birth.
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548
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Quote #1398
(after handing in TOK essays)
IB Student: Yes! No more TOK for the rest of our lives!
IB Student #2: How do you know that?
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545
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Quote #1149
An IB graduate skills.
veteran procrastinator.
immune to caffeine.
professional BSer
can function on little or no sleep.
Knows how to wright 4000 words of professional sounding jargon.
Is able to ask his or her long dead relatives for help completing projects by 5 in the morning.
Knows Stalin better than his grandmother.
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542
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Quote #1804
True Story:
NonIB Student: Hey, it's your birthday! What are you doing today?
IB Student: Well, I have a calculus test and my TOK presentation, a meeting with the IB Coordinator after school to get some scholarship forms filled out, the rest of my math IA to do, an appointment with my shrink because my anxiety disorder is getting worse, two hours of chemistry tonight so that we can learn part of option E, and then I'll probably go home and finish my physics lab before I read Death of a Salesman.
NonIB Student: ...Cool.
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530
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Quote #1779
When an IB student does an assignment due the next day at 12 midnight, he says: "Good, I still have 6 hours left to finish it."
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527
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Quote #168
Andy: To be or not to be? That is the question. If you choose to be, don't choose IB.
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523
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Quote #1065
Charlie (crying hysterically): I HATE IB! IT'S KILLING ME! I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM GOING TO TALK TO OUR COORDINATOR TOMORROW AND DROP OUT!
Maya: No you won't.
Charlie: You're right, I won't.
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511
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Quote #1071
You know you're IB when you use Facebook as a way to discuss homework, classes, and teachers.
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510
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Quote #1102
Non-IB student: Get a life...
IB stident: Are you implying I have the time?
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506
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Quote #1372
The only way to pass ToK is to prove it does not exist.
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501
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Quote #206
History teacher: "By the end of IB, you're going to know Stalin better than your own grandfather!"
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496
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Quote #433
Teacher: [Noticing that half the class isn't there] What's due tomorrow?
Class, in unison: Bio/chem IA.
Teacher: Oh. 'Kay. [continues with lesson]
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490
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Quote #1760
IB Student: Can I have a mini-fridge in my room?
Dad: Are you kidding me? The only time I get to see you is during dinner!
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484
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Quote #283
Anya: Hey, Oliver, can I borrow your math portfolio?
Oliver: I'd rather lend you my firstborn child.
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478
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Quote #87
What we don't realize is, this is all just a huge scientific study to find out how much stress kids can be put under before they haul off and kill themselves. The idea is that they give students amounts of work that are impossible to achieve, and periodically add more and more work during times when key projects are due. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of it. I quit.
- Student to entire class
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Quote #1486
IB Student to Non-IB Student: You don't understand! I HAVE to skip school tomorrow so I can finish my homework and study for Bio. I have no choice, it's either skipping or failing two classes
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468
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Quote #1833
you know there's got to be something wrong with IB when:
1. you're at a party and you think, "this sucks, I could be doing homework right now!"
2.you argue with teachers over a 99
3.you view lunch as a short nap
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468
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Quote #1004
Fred: It's okay Charlie, true love will break your heart.
Charlie: Who cares about my heart, that bitch broke my study plan!
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458
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Quote #1284
IB Student 1: Okay, say the school were to be attacked by zombies. How would you defend it?
IB Student 2: I'd make them sit a HL maths exam I reckon that'd kill them off pretty quickly...
IB Student 1: But what about if they pass it with a 7? Then the ones that remain would not only be the walking dead, but the walking dead with highest mark possible internationally recognised pre-university certificate!! We'd be defeated!
IB Student 2: Yeah, but doing HL maths would make them even more dead, and making a dead thing dead is a double negative and that'd make them alive, and if they're alive...then they'd have to be afraid of us, wouldn't they, 'cos we're almost dead anyway.
IB Student 1: Why the hell would you want to defend the school in the first place, anyway?
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Quote #222
IB English student: *Looking at a coke bottle* It's amazing what paradoxes exist in this soft drink container. It appears phallic in shape, thereby appealing to a consumer's primal desire for unmasked masculinity, yet its function as a receptacle allows us to construe it as a uterine symbol, belying our innate fascination with the feminine form.
Non IB English student: Dude, I just buy it 'cos of the hot chicks in those TV ads.
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456
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Quote #1090
While writing her long english final a student shouted,
"Ms. Mohel I can't do this anymore. It's like I'm giving birth to an essay."
To which the teacher replied,
"Its okay, sweetie. Just push a little harder."
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Quote #57
Chemistry Teacher: You guys will start the group 4 project next week. You will learn how to socialize with others and have fun.
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450
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Quote #305
(IB Student's Mom is looking at his progress report)
Mom: You have a D in English!
Student: Yeah, I know. It's okay.
Mom: It is?!
Student: Yeah, everyone else has a D too.
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449
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Quote #1092
Student 1: ...and she's just so so...slutty. AND DUMB.
Student 2: I know! Why is she even in IB??
Student 3: haha probably to calculate her "profits" correctly for her services! haha.
Student 1: haha or maybe to figure good slope angles for you know what!
Student 4: Maybe to discover new curves and angles for her slopes!
All: HAHAHAHA!
*we stop and look at one another with horrified faces*
Student 3: guys. we just laughed at a joke containg algebra in it.
Student 1: crap. were officially IB kids now.
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444
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Quote #642
"Remember how they told you that real life is harder than IB? Um. They lied."
-Former IB Student
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