Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 8 9 10 11 12 > Last ›Quote #344
Teacher: You see, the Maslow's pyramid of necessities explains that one cannot advance to self actualization unless you have completed the previous ones, like food, water, security, and sleep.
Student: WHAT ABOUT IB!?
Student 2: I haven't had a decent meal since September, I'm too busy studying or in the library.
Student 3: Water!? Water? I've replaced all beverages to caffeinated ones!
Student 4: Security! I've had three nervous breakdowns this week!
Class: AND SLEEP!??!?
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Curiously enough I had this epiphany while "day-sleeping" because I pulled an all-nighter to finish my IA for history, all when my English teacher lectured on Macbeth for the following commentary.
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Quote #365
IB SL Business Teacher: So how does the money flow out of a business other than purchases of sales, loans, rent or advertising?
IB Student: Bribes
*class laughs*
IB SL Business Teacher, shuffles paper and discreetly looks at her notes: I don't think so.
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Quote #371
History teacher: Rasputin was poisoned, shot and then drowned. He was a hard man to kill.
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Quote #430
Chemistry Teacher: (writes an equation on the board including around 2 tons of carbon)
Student 1: (Reads equation) That's a whole lot of carbon!!
Student 2: You're a whole lot of carbon!!
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Quote #491
Why did you decide to enter to IB course?
Because the whip and hot wax on the already bored me.
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¿Por qué decidiste meterte al BI?
Porque el látigo y la cera caliente ya me aburrían.
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Quote #598
You know you are in IB when you feel physical pain when seperated from your GDC.
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Quote #612
It's sad when after getting back your mid-term grades you want to call everyone you know and tell the how happy you are because you've gone up from a D to a C
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Quote #734
School's Morning Announcements: The Terry Fox Run will be next week in second period!
Patricia: But I don't wanna miss biology to run. Do we get CAS hours?
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Quote #869
IB coordinator: That's a heavy book you've got there.
IB student: *heaving a thick Maths HL book & a big folder*
IB coordinator: It must be hard work with such a big fat book?
IB student: ALL the books are this thick.
IB coordinator: Everything in IB's big fat, eh?
IB student: Including the coordinator too.
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Quote #1081
IB students take 1 step into a math class.
Ms. Allan: *looks up* The test isn't marked, try at lunch.
IB Students: "Aww..."
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Quote #1084
"Spark Notes are too long."
-IB Senior
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Quote #50
I absolutely HATE all people who have biased opinions.
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Quote #79
Maths teacher joke:
Terrorists stop a bus full of passengers and succeed in getting all the passengers off the bus. When they come to the back of the bus, there is one passenger still there. The terrorists say "if you don't get off the bus NOW, we will differentiate and integrate you". The small passenger replies "I'm e^x".
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Quote #84
Student 1: And so obviously, there is a link between the "devil" in the book and that which appears in the Bible, although-
Student 2: Wait... the devil is in the Bible?
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Quote #102
Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.
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Quote #118
Video in history: In Japan at the time, the philosophy was "American things, Japanese ideals"
Student: Now it's the other way around...
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Quote #130
A Facebook conversation at about 1am, three IB kids working on the same history worksheet. One of them gets bleary and starts uttering random quotes:
Kaity: Claire, was your answer for #1 like, really short?
Claire: Like three sentences.
Sam: Damn mine was one.
Kaity: Mine too.
Kaity: . . .. Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. . . Hey! That's like now!!
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Quote #181
Mr. Blackmon (TOK teacher): What is this desk made of?
Thelma: Cells!
*Numerous sighs and facepalms resonate throughout the room*
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Quote #276
Teacher: All right lets do a reading assignmet for extra credit.
Student: Can we take a quiz instead?
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Quote #287
Chemistry HL Teacher: The mole is your God.
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Quote #284
Chemistry teacher: Here's the percent error formula: you minus God over God times a hundred.
Student 1: Wait, what?
Chemistry teacher: You heard me.
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Quote #285
IB kids are abiotic creatures, we don't have lives.
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Quote #297
IB Student: Last night I prayed a natural disaster would happen so that I could get out of this AP MEH test, I cried when I woke up.
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Quote #339
"It's like a nebulous ring of nefarious warlords."
-IB Coordinator, on the fabled IB bureaucrats
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Quote #352
IB Student: It took me 12 weeks to do my Research Paper for Inquiry Skills!
Non IB Student: How come?
IB Student: Well, it took 6 weeks for my Thesis Statement. 5 weeks and a half for my outline. Then half a week to write it! All the while doing research!
Non IB Student: What was the paper on?
IB Student: I have no idea....
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Quote #386
Ibid. (Latin, short for ibidem, "the same place") is the term used to provide an endnote or footnote citation or reference for a source that was cited in the preceding endnote or footnote.
IBID = International Baccalaureate Is Death.
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Quote #442
German science teacher:
Teacher: No gravity allowed on your books
Student: No gravity, how do we stop that working?
Teacher: No graffitti
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Quote #444
*while watching a kid throw someone's book on the floor and run away*
Michael: Don't worry. He has the intellectual capacity of an amoeba.
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Quote #545
Biology teacher on XYY syndrome:
I'm big, I'm strong, I'm dumb.
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Quote #581
The eternal TOK question: How do we know what we know?
The IB student answer: Because we memorised it!
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Quote #643
Prospective IB student: I think Im going to take higher level math... i do well in Maths b here.
Ex IB student *not really paying attention*: Rather than taking HL, take some LSD. Then calculate the improbability of your ability to pass if you're the only one who can see the air molecules vibrating and claim it to be oxygen.
Prospective student: ...
Ex IB student: Your chem teacher would be proud of you.... *walks away*
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Quote #783
HL bio teacher on prokaryotes: SO what do we know about these kinds of cells? They are the STRIPPERS of the CELL WORLD!!! You know why? Because they have NAKED DNA *starts humming a stripper sounding song* .. and what shape do they have? a COIL.. around BALLS! because they're attracted to BALLS, these naked DNA! are what? STRIPPERS OF THE CELL WORLD :)
class: O_O
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Quote #811
Girl: I love you more than I love the air I breathe. Beat that.
Guy: Well, I love you more than a hydrogen loves an oxygen. That's the strongest bond.
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Quote #923
Dear Quote 717,
We are nerds. Whether voluntary or not, being in IB automatically makes us this way.
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Quote #946
Friends dont let friends drive sleep deprived.
Thats why we take the bus.
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Quote #981
Non Ib Kid: So you're in that uber hard like nerdy IB thingy.
Me: Yep.
Non Ib Kid: Well if I had that much homework I'd like kill myself, do you guys even have a life?
Me: Well we don't have one and we are too busy to kill ourselves otherwise we probably would.
(Me coming to a sudden realization): Hey we formulated a pretty good IB quote here.
Other kid: Formulated and IB quote? dude formulated is like the nerdiest thing I've ever heard and anyways what the f*^k is an IB quote?
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Quote #1031
IB student 1 and IB student 2 are walking home together. IB student 1 is muttering to herself.
IB student 1: I have my History textbook, Hamlet, my Bio binder, my Physics textbook....
IB student 2: What's wrong?
IB student 1: *hands over backpack*
IB student 2: OMG!!! It's so LIGHT!!!!!!!
IB student 1: I think I forgot something.
IB student 2: Well you have your History textbook ...
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Quote #42
In a class before Christmas break of IB2 year:
Teacher: Have a good break. I'm sure you'll all study like hell during the break for the mock exams Christmas.
Student (mutters): Like hell we will.
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Quote #47
TOK Teacher/ English teacher: You guys should have wrote it down.
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Quote #61
ib student: sleep ... makes you sleepy
(40-point diploma student)
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Quote #106
(IN CLASS READING OF DRAMA TEXT)
Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.
Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)
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Quote #108
IB is an invitation to suicide.
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Quote #188
"I like this site, the quotes about procrastination are so funny, I'm so glad I don't procrastinate!
I've been reading this site for a half hour after I had stumbled upon it when looking up something to study before midterms tomorrow, and... oh, right..."
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Quote #215
Sr. B: IB is like eating an elephant. You must take it one bite at a time.
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Quote #224
IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.
(The word they were looking for was "querido")
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Quote #229
"Wait... Who was the king between King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 16th?"
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Quote #236
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
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Quote #277
There will be enough time to sleep when we die!
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Quote #350
IB Maths student: Why did we do that?
IB Maths teacher: Because the question asked.
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Quote #373
English teacher:
You're not yourself in IB, you're an analyst
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