Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #1336

ToK teacher: Statistics are like a bikini. They reveal a whole lot, but hide the essential.

Vote: Yay! 405 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #80

"Why wasn't I in on this?!"
- Satan on IB

Vote: Yay! 404 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #632

Q: How many IB students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 30. One to change the bulb, and twenty-nine to reflect on the process.

Vote: Yay! 404 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #63

I.B is good for people with suicidal tendencies: instead of sitting down at 5pm to start a 2000-word essay and thinking, 'Oh my God, I want to die,' you sit down at 2am to start a 2000-word essay and all you can think is 'Oh my God, I want to sleep.'

Vote: Yay! 402 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #338

IB students don't procrastinate ... we just have an accute sense for prioritization.

Vote: Yay! 400 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #456

IB student: I got screeweedd last night
*Non-IB student joins conversation*
Non-IB student: Niiiceee, by who?
*silence among the Ibers*
IB student: Who? ahahahahahhahaha

Vote: Yay! 400 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1642

The Difference between SL and HL Chemistry:

SL: You have to work through study hall, weekends, holidays, answering the same tedious questions over and over again until you want to chuck your book out of the window, and then you will pass.

HL: You have to memorize the book and pray for a miracle.

Vote: Yay! 397 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #538

8-year-old kid: "twinkle-twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are..."

IB student: "a massive ball of gas burning millions of light years away!"

Vote: Yay! 396 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2061

IB Student in his Valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony:

"Looking back on IB, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Harvard without it. I plan on studying molecular biology, and Harvard has one of the best molecular biology programs in the world, and with this first-class education I hope to one day cure cancer. So if you think about it, my participation in the IB program could save millions of lives, and I guess my sanity was a fair price to pay over these past four years for that possibility. Although I do wish I didn't have to make the choice.

Vote: Yay! 396 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1193

Bio HL Teacher: They're protein molecules, they have no life.
IB Student: Cool, we have something in common.

Vote: Yay! 393 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1655

IB homework is like erectile dysfunction - you keep telling yourself that everyone is having the same problems as you.


Vote: Yay! 387 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1865

You know you're in IB when:

you and your other IBers compare flash drives.

Vote: Yay! 387 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1459

IB student walking down hall: Man I freaking failed that math test! GGGRRR!
Non IB student: That impossible you guys like never fail anything.
IB student: No I IB failed it.
Non IB Student: Whats an IB fail?
Ib Student: An 89
Non Student: Dude an 89 I'de be happy if I got an 89 on anything.
IB student: *Sighs*

IB where 90% is the new 50%

Vote: Yay! 379 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2029

You KNOW your in IB when its the first day of summer vacation and your stressing about the classes you're going to take next year.

Vote: Yay! 379 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #844

IB Chemistry Teacher on the first day of class:
"Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid students"

Vote: Yay! 378 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1687

You know you're in IB when you discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.

Vote: Yay! 377 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1689

It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping.... LET'S GO TO THE LIBRARY!!!

Vote: Yay! 377 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #638

To hand in homework is like menstruation. To go though it annoys you, but being late can really freak you out.

Vote: Yay! 376 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1653

IB Student 1:What if we put all the IB kids on an island and told them they had to get off of it because it was going to explode in 24 hours?
IB Student 2: You know... I don't know if I would try to get off.

Vote: Yay! 374 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1631

IB Student 1 texts to five people:
Can anyone explain what sound is on the style chart?
IB Student 2: Wait, are we talking about English?
IB Student 3: When did you finish your math IA?!
IB Student 4: Are you working on the World Lit journal already?

Vote: Yay! 373 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1869

I used to write all my homework on a dry erase calendar... until i ran out of time to update it.

Vote: Yay! 372 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #19

Mr. Oliver: I want everyone to give me an example of when you know a fact is true, but don't believe it.

Jany: I know I'm smart, but I don't believe it.

Vote: Yay! 369 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #553

"It's illegal to show this to you but I don't really care. I taped it off the TV and I'll do it again."

- IB English Teacher

Vote: Yay! 369 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #562

The Five Stages of Death:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

The Five Stages of IB:
Naiveté, Huh?, Struggle, Regret, Nonchalance

Vote: Yay! 368 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1549

IB is not a path chosen for the faintest of heart. Only for the ones that chose the wrong path.

Vote: Yay! 366 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #167

IB Freshman: You know, I'm planning of getting 45 points.
IB Freshman: What's so funny?

Vote: Yay! 365 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #794

You know you're in IB when it's impossible to enjoy a no-homework weekend without worrying about the "no-homework" part.

Vote: Yay! 359 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1839

April 15, Halfway through math class:

Student 1: You know CAS forms are due today..

Student 2: Oh...oh whatever. That doesn't REALLY mean they're due, it just means they're due two weeks from now. It's a warning to get procrastinating IB students to start filling out their forms and getting signatures. I've done all 150 CAS hours over two years and not a completed form to show for it yet.


Student 2: [IB Coordinator] called my house last night to stalk me for my CAS forms and I'm afraid to walk down the hallway because she might find me!!!!!!

Student 1: That's nothing. She called my house first to get your phone number because she'd misplaced it.

Student 2: *shiver*

Vote: Yay! 359 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1402

Teacher: "If you could do anything and be guaranteed not to fail, what would it be?"

Student: "Take my IB tests."

Vote: Yay! 358 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1117

Real life is a holiday compared to the IB.

Vote: Yay! 357 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1251

Receiving an IB diploma is more like receiving a certificate of insanity than anything else.

Vote: Yay! 352 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2052

Student: "This work is too hard for me, your killing me."

Teacher: "You say that every class but you're still here so obviously I'm not doing something right."

Vote: Yay! 349 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #110

Teacher: So what's Newton's Universal Law of Gravitiation?
Student 1: What goes up must come down? (as a joke)
[Teacher looks a Student 1 like she's stupid]
Student 2: Aaah, but what is up and what is down?
Student 1: Shut up, you've been doing too much TOK.

Vote: Yay! 347 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #900

Email from an IB teacher:

"Hi all,
I have had a couple of emails and conversations regarding progress on your EE.

Those of you that have sent me the outline - well done.
Those of you that have had a conversation, fine - but I still need the written outline.
Those of you that have done neither will, of course, burn in hell."

Vote: Yay! 347 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1442

IB Boy: Hey, I've heard from a source that tells me that you are in love with me.

IB Girl: Ha! Do you think I have TIME for love?

Vote: Yay! 347 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1870

IB - Impressive BSing.


Vote: Yay! 346 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1922

Facebook Status: On a date with my World Lit Paper <3

Vote: Yay! 344 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #473

After starting IB whenever you talk about something out of school it still somehow relates back to IB...

Vote: Yay! 343 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #501

IB, where three hours is too much sleep.

Vote: Yay! 341 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1109

IB has taught me many useful things in terms of multitasking and time management. Only in IB are you capable of crying while finishing your IA and not only be able to see the paper perfectly, but not get a single tear on the page because you don't have time to redo it.

Vote: Yay! 340 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1332

Non-IB Student: What do you have today?
IB Student: I've got math and physics first, then french and history. Then I've got my three hours of volunteering over at the hospital and a 2 hour musical rehearsal tonight. what about you?
Non-IB Student: I've got 2 frees, art, and gym

Vote: Yay! 338 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1186

No IB student is a virgin.

They all get fucked by the IB.

Vote: Yay! 337 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #274

IB English Class

Teacher's advice to students: So when you're home alone practice your oral on your dog...
Students: That's what she said...

Vote: Yay! 328 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #911

(10th grader talking about IB)
10th grader: Next year I'll do IB HL Chem, Physics, Bio and Math
IB1 student: You do realize that's suicide, right?
10th grader: I have a B in Science, I'm sure I'll do fine. and how much harder can HL Math be than Trig?
*IB2 student passes by*
IB2 student: AHAHAHA gotta love 10th graders

Vote: Yay! 327 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2078

IB Math student: Hey guys! I have a math joke for you
students: go ahead!
IB Math Student: Why did sine and cosine go to the beach?TO GET A TAN!

Vote: Yay! 326 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1019

Apple's Latest: The iB. DESCRIPTION: Does not require food or water, just a steady supply of caffeine. CAUTION: Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight. Comes in pale pale pale pale white only. Sleep not included. Money back guarantee if it doesn't get past Freshman year. SIDE EFFECTS: aching back; enormous backpacks; stunted growth (NOT due to caffeine but from heavy backpack); NERDY, not dirty, thoughts; hair loss; hair growth; may crash when overloaded with work; may randomly put Wagner operas or attempt to sing one-man madrigals; may speak in a long line of symbols.

Vote: Yay! 323 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #177

TOK Teacher: Every year we should sacrifice a virgin to the great god Xerox... Then perhaps the copy machine wouldn't break down.

Vote: Yay! 320 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #873

Whenever you have no work one day in the IB you know that there must be something terribly wrong with your agenda.

Vote: Yay! 320 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #906

IB Student 1: Man, I don't even care anymore; IB's never going to benefit us in the real world.

IB Student 2: Yesterday IB benefited me in a real life situation.

IB Student 1: Really?

IB Student 2: Yeah, I spilled some tea, and it landed on my EE folder and not my carpet.

Vote: Yay! 320 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1982

How not to get your Business IA done-
To the tune of Bubbly by Collie Caillat:

Procrastinated for a while now
I really should go do my essay now
But every time I see that white blank page
My mind wanders to another place

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Our teacher can be really really vague
Don't understand half the things he say
Rambles on so very boring-ly
We're so confused why can't he see?

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

What am I gonna say?
Only knew 'bout this yesterday!
I just...... AGRRHHHH!!!!

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Been writing this for a while now
I think I just took my break right now
That essay cannot so itself
I'll use Wikipedia for some help

Old Wiki might know
And I better go
And do this horrible essay so
My grades ain't so low
My teacher gives me the shits
And has halitosis
Oh god yeah

I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
Won't be done for a while
That don't make me smile.....

Vote: Yay! 317 Nay! | Permalink

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