Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #256

Math Teacher: Seriously guys, in the long run, what's the difference between a 93 and a 95?
IB student: (in a reverent tone) Your future.

Vote: Yay! 551 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2304

IB Math Student: Aw man, another proof! Why do we have to do this?

IB Math Teacher: Hey! You! Math now, TOK later.

Vote: Yay! 543 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #452

Question on an HL Bio Exam:

A tall, blue blorg mates with a short, white blorg and produces all tall, blue blorgs. This is a result of:

a) both parents having heterzygous traits;
b) both parents having homozygous traits;
c) magic.

Vote: Yay! 539 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #315

IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...

Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?

Vote: Yay! 534 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1469

Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.

Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?

Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?

Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.

Vote: Yay! 534 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1711

IB Student touches something hot: OW! Get it off! Get it off! Gosh darn it, I can feel my enzymes denaturing!

Vote: Yay! 522 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1683

You know you're in IB when you think "getting high" is a reference to grades.

Vote: Yay! 519 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1748

In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.

Vote: Yay! 519 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1941

Being an IB student is like being a kamikaze: They will tell you it's for some greater good, but the truth is you're on a mission to kill yourself.

Vote: Yay! 518 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1418

You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.

Vote: Yay! 507 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #468

Biology Class:

Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.

Vote: Yay! 493 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1898

Non-IB Student: I just got 75 hours of community service for getting caught drinking last month.
IB Student: I've got 150 to do.
Non-IB Student: DAMN, what'd you do?!

Vote: Yay! 493 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1536

Student 1: Wow, so you go to my school?
Student 2: Yes, have been for the past two years.
Student 1: How come I have never seen you before?
Student 2: I am in IB.
Student 1: O.O Enough said.

Vote: Yay! 492 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #289

*class is talking*
Mr. Daly: *brings out grade reports and shakes them around*
Class: *stares silently at the grade reports*
Mr. Daly: Grade reports are like crack for IB students

Vote: Yay! 491 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1511

You know you are in IB when...

You are on this site contributing, while in reality you should really be revising.

IB Brunei (:

Vote: Yay! 491 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #261

IB kid: I hate how the other 80% of the school has no idea what it's doing.

Non IB kid: Yeah, I'm glad I'm in the intelligent 10%.

Vote: Yay! 490 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1133

My homework is like my best friend... No matter what I do, it is always there for me!

Vote: Yay! 488 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #211

IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.

Vote: Yay! 484 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1782

Teacher: Don't worry, you're only another 3999 words away from your diploma!

Vote: Yay! 484 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #457

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep

... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1461

Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2065

You know you are in IB:
when you go to a party and discuss the TOK essay you have due the following Friday.

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1084

"Spark Notes are too long."

-IB Senior

Vote: Yay! 481 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1434

What's the easiest way to remain a virgin before 18?
-You go to IB.

What's the only way to have a girlfriend in IB?
-You fail.

Vote: Yay! 477 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1976

You know you're in IB when the only type of 45 you can get is number of thumbs-ups on

Vote: Yay! 475 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #77

Looking at an abstract picture:

Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!

Vote: Yay! 469 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #482

*Student 1 fails his HL Physics test*

Student 1: Sir, we never learned this in class...
Teacher: I know.

Vote: Yay! 467 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #27

Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.

Vote: Yay! 466 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1183

(To the tune of "I Kissed a Girl")

This was not the way I planned,
To, go to college...
I got so brave, calculator in hand...
Lost my motivation
It's not what, I expected
Just want my choices...
I'm curious for IB,
Caught my attention...

I joined IB and I liked it...
Stress of the IB Rubric...
I joined IB just to try it,
I hope that AP don't mind it...
It felt like a blur
All those late nights
But now I speak spanish alright.
I joined IB and I liked it
I liked it...

No, I don't even know the name,
of my essay advisor
You're my experimental game
for the Bio IA!
It's not what,
normal kids do,
Not how they waste high school!
My head gets, so filled with...
All those trig facts!

I joined IB and I liked it,
The morning caffeine requirement...
I joined IB and I liked it,
let's hope those colleges do buy it...
It felt so wrong,
Now it's who I am,
Using Facebook to prep for exams...
I joined IB and I liked it...
I liked it...

Is appreciating IB so wrong?

Vote: Yay! 466 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1654

IB French Teacher: Speaking counts for a third of your grade.
IB Student: Shit!
IB French Teacher: I know! Now try in French.
IB Student: Merde!

Vote: Yay! 465 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #504

IB math, you only get it after the test!

Vote: Yay! 464 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1889


IB's attempt to turn having a life into a homework assignment

Vote: Yay! 462 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #382

IB is like being ruled by facism:

Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.

Vote: Yay! 461 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2042

You know you're in IB when it's the morning of your birthday, and you're staying up doing your homework.

Vote: Yay! 459 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #370

Student: ...but we already have three tests scheduled for the next two days...

Teacher (mockingly, sarcastically and evilly): So if you add the one I'm giving you that makes four... Right? Your math teacher will be so proud to hear you do all of these advanced calculations.

Student (in a somewhat whiny tone which is completely justified): haha... Very funny... I haven't spent time with my friends or family or girlfriend in almost a month.

Teacher: And you're surprised? Didn't you read the fine print when you agreed to be in IB? It says : "In IB there are no significant others, only significant figures!"

Vote: Yay! 458 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1755

You know you're taking IB Chem when you start making up your own abbreviations just to be able to take more notes in less time.

Vote: Yay! 458 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1009

*water polo practice at an IB High School*
IB Frosh: So what's TOK like?
IB Senior: Well you assume were in a pool now, right?
IB Frosh: Sure.
IB Senior: Well can you prove we are?
IB Frosh: ...uh??

Vote: Yay! 456 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1005

Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.

Vote: Yay! 453 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2095

Only IB gives you true protection from the sun's UV rays...

Welcome to summer assignments.

Vote: Yay! 451 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1845

You know you need lives when your friend tells you the following:

"So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Hamlet, when Freud walked in on us and started telling me it was reflective of a miserable childhood- on my part, not his."

"So you got Freud to analyze your sex life with a literary character."

"It made it all worth it."

Vote: Yay! 450 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1287

From the official lockdown procedure of my IB school:

‘ensure students are below window level, and quietly continue on teaching’

Vote: Yay! 449 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1927

IB chemistry student: YOU BORON!

Vote: Yay! 444 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1

Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.

Vote: Yay! 438 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #486

When I think about the pile of work I have left, I feel like crying...

...until I realize that I can't even spare the time needed to cry.

Vote: Yay! 431 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1641

Writing your World Lit. paper is like vomiting. You don't want to do it, but you feel so much better after its finally out of your system.

Vote: Yay! 428 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1942

Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D

Vote: Yay! 427 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #98

Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?

Class: No...

Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!

Vote: Yay! 423 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1292

Textbook "If you had a choice of being hit by a child on a bicycle or an adult on a bicycle travelling at half the velocity of the child, which would you pick?"

(After spending half an hour working it out)

Student 1: You know, in that amount of time, you could have just moved out of the way.

Vote: Yay! 421 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2094

Student 1: Do you do maths HL?
Student 2: Do I look suicidal to you?

Vote: Yay! 421 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1955

IB is like a mafia family
one crooked, messed up family
and once you are in, there is no turning back
and if you do leave, IB will find you one way or another

10th IB DHS

Vote: Yay! 418 Nay! | Permalink

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