Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
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You know you're in IB when you can text faster on your calculator than your phone.
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Quote #315
IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...
Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?
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466
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Quote #1469
Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.
Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?
Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?
Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.
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463
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Quote #2055
You know your in IB when the coolest rap you ever heard was written by a classmate and it was about DNA replication.
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446
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Quote #1748
In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.
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445
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Quote #1711
IB Student touches something hot: OW! Get it off! Get it off! Gosh darn it, I can feel my enzymes denaturing!
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441
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Quote #457
I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep
... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2
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435
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Quote #468
Biology Class:
Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.
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435
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Quote #261
IB kid: I hate how the other 80% of the school has no idea what it's doing.
Non IB kid: Yeah, I'm glad I'm in the intelligent 10%.
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431
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Quote #289
*class is talking*
Mr. Daly: *brings out grade reports and shakes them around*
Class: *stares silently at the grade reports*
Mr. Daly: Grade reports are like crack for IB students
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430
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Quote #1683
You know you're in IB when you think "getting high" is a reference to grades.
Vote:
426
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Quote #77
Looking at an abstract picture:
Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!
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420
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Quote #1461
Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.
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419
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Quote #27
Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.
Vote:
416
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Quote #1133
My homework is like my best friend... No matter what I do, it is always there for me!
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415
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Quote #1434
What's the easiest way to remain a virgin before 18?
-You go to IB.
What's the only way to have a girlfriend in IB?
-You fail.
Vote:
415
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Quote #1536
Student 1: Wow, so you go to my school?
Student 2: Yes, have been for the past two years.
Student 1: How come I have never seen you before?
Student 2: I am in IB.
Student 1: O.O Enough said.
Vote:
414
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Quote #211
IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.
Vote:
411
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Quote #1084
"Spark Notes are too long."
-IB Senior
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407
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Quote #1183
(To the tune of "I Kissed a Girl")
This was not the way I planned,
To, go to college...
I got so brave, calculator in hand...
Lost my motivation
It's not what, I expected
Just want my choices...
I'm curious for IB,
Caught my attention...
I joined IB and I liked it...
Stress of the IB Rubric...
I joined IB just to try it,
I hope that AP don't mind it...
It felt like a blur
All those late nights
But now I speak spanish alright.
I joined IB and I liked it
I liked it...
No, I don't even know the name,
of my essay advisor
You're my experimental game
for the Bio IA!
It's not what,
normal kids do,
Not how they waste high school!
My head gets, so filled with...
All those trig facts!
I joined IB and I liked it,
The morning caffeine requirement...
I joined IB and I liked it,
let's hope those colleges do buy it...
It felt so wrong,
Now it's who I am,
Using Facebook to prep for exams...
I joined IB and I liked it...
I liked it...
Is appreciating IB so wrong?
Vote:
407
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Quote #1418
You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.
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407
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Quote #1782
Teacher: Don't worry, you're only another 3999 words away from your diploma!
Vote:
406
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Quote #1511
You know you are in IB when...
You are on this site contributing, while in reality you should really be revising.
IB Brunei (:
Vote:
405
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Quote #504
IB math, you only get it after the test!
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400
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Quote #482
*Student 1 fails his HL Physics test*
Student 1: Sir, we never learned this in class...
Teacher: I know.
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399
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Quote #1005
Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.
Vote:
399
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Quote #1941
Being an IB student is like being a kamikaze: They will tell you it's for some greater good, but the truth is you're on a mission to kill yourself.
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398
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Quote #370
Student: ...but we already have three tests scheduled for the next two days...
Teacher (mockingly, sarcastically and evilly): So if you add the one I'm giving you that makes four... Right? Your math teacher will be so proud to hear you do all of these advanced calculations.
Student (in a somewhat whiny tone which is completely justified): haha... Very funny... I haven't spent time with my friends or family or girlfriend in almost a month.
Teacher: And you're surprised? Didn't you read the fine print when you agreed to be in IB? It says : "In IB there are no significant others, only significant figures!"
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397
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Quote #1287
From the official lockdown procedure of my IB school:
‘ensure students are below window level, and quietly continue on teaching’
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391
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Quote #1009
*water polo practice at an IB High School*
IB Frosh: So what's TOK like?
IB Senior: Well you assume were in a pool now, right?
IB Frosh: Sure.
IB Senior: Well can you prove we are?
IB Frosh: ...uh??
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387
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Quote #1755
You know you're taking IB Chem when you start making up your own abbreviations just to be able to take more notes in less time.
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386
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Quote #1
Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.
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Quote #382
IB is like being ruled by facism:
Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.
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372
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Quote #1292
~~Physics
Textbook "If you had a choice of being hit by a child on a bicycle or an adult on a bicycle travelling at half the velocity of the child, which would you pick?"
(After spending half an hour working it out)
Student 1: You know, in that amount of time, you could have just moved out of the way.
Vote:
368
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Quote #1654
IB French Teacher: Speaking counts for a third of your grade.
IB Student: Shit!
IB French Teacher: I know! Now try in French.
IB Student: Merde!
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368
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Quote #1845
You know you need lives when your friend tells you the following:
"So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Hamlet, when Freud walked in on us and started telling me it was reflective of a miserable childhood- on my part, not his."
"So you got Freud to analyze your sex life with a literary character."
"It made it all worth it."
Vote:
368
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Quote #1641
Writing your World Lit. paper is like vomiting. You don't want to do it, but you feel so much better after its finally out of your system.
Vote:
364
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Quote #80
"Why wasn't I in on this?!"
- Satan on IB
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361
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Quote #2304
IB Math Student: Aw man, another proof! Why do we have to do this?
IB Math Teacher: Hey! You! Math now, TOK later.
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360
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Quote #486
When I think about the pile of work I have left, I feel like crying...
...until I realize that I can't even spare the time needed to cry.
Vote:
357
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Quote #456
IB student: I got screeweedd last night
*Non-IB student joins conversation*
Non-IB student: Niiiceee, by who?
*silence among the Ibers*
IB student: Who? ahahahahahhahaha
Vote:
356
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Quote #98
Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?
Class: No...
Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!
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354
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Quote #1927
IB chemistry student: YOU BORON!
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353
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Quote #538
8-year-old kid: "twinkle-twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are..."
IB student: "a massive ball of gas burning millions of light years away!"
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352
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Quote #1942
Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D
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352
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Quote #63
I.B is good for people with suicidal tendencies: instead of sitting down at 5pm to start a 2000-word essay and thinking, 'Oh my God, I want to die,' you sit down at 2am to start a 2000-word essay and all you can think is 'Oh my God, I want to sleep.'
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350
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Quote #1976
You know you're in IB when the only type of 45 you can get is number of thumbs-ups on IBquotes.com
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349
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Quote #1336
ToK teacher: Statistics are like a bikini. They reveal a whole lot, but hide the essential.
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346
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Quote #2042
You know you're in IB when it's the morning of your birthday, and you're staying up doing your homework.
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338
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Quote #338
IB students don't procrastinate ... we just have an accute sense for prioritization.
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336
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