Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 19 20 21 22 >Quote #503
IB student: Enjambent... Yes, I believe it to be a silent 'J'.
IB HL English Teacher: Actually, it's a silent 'B'.
Class chuckles
IB student: IT WAS A JOKE!!!!
Vote:
-57
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Quote #2106
tu madre es un frigorifico.
Vote:
-57
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Quote #9
A student's French paper used baisser in the wrong way.
French Teacher: je pensait que tu a fait quelqu'un chose apres s'as baisse une grenouille.....
[Note: ok my French might be rough but that's the general idea]
Vote:
-58
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Quote #202
IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(
Vote:
-59
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Quote #30
Class: Well there are other things to consider.
Mr. Belbin: That's opening another can of beans, guys
Class: hahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Did I say something wrong?
Vote:
-62
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Quote #318
Student 1 points to a picture of a soldier: What's this?
Student 2: Well, ...that ...is called ...a MAN.
Vote:
-62
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Quote #689
First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*
Vote:
-63
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Quote #64
Student 1: I'm scared of holding glass stuff because I'm afraid they'll break.
Student 2: Yeah, I'm scared of holding babies... you might hold them wrong, or drop them, or hurt them. That's why I always hold my babies when I'm sitting down.
Student: omfg... shit
Vote:
-64
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Quote #941
IB kids throwing paper balls at each other in library and hiding behind the shelves....
Librarian: I've spent 15 years working in an elementary school library, you just demonstrated the same behavior as a 5th grader
IB student: That's because I'm in IB
Vote:
-64
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Quote #1479
IB is reading these quotes and trying to answer the math questions in them
Vote:
-66
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Quote #667
In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....
People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.
People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the IBs..it's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...
(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)
Vote:
-68
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Quote #1876
You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....
HAHA
Vote:
-68
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Quote #2030
( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)
Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.
Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?
Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?
Vote:
-68
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Quote #1191
Channa- "In Chemistry Class, Kindra said that her idol was Hugh Hefner."
Caleb- "I seriously have no idea who that is..."
Kindra- "Man, you must not masturbate at all!!!"
Vote:
-69
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Quote #212
Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!
Vote:
-70
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Quote #763
an ib stdnt wud look at dis, strggle in readin it, an gt psd of
Vote:
-70
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Quote #75
Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?
French Teacher: Umm, let me check.
Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?
French Teacher: Well, I forgot.
Vote:
-71
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Quote #547
Math teacher: So you have the species of male and female....
Vote:
-72
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Quote #1932
Econ teacher: When investing in stocks you should look for things that are inelastic... like porn.
Student: Porn makes me inelastic.
Vote:
-72
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Quote #52
Once on a msn discussion about math portfolio
Quan: How many words do you have?
I.W: 140k and adding
Quat:....O.O ....
I.W: almost level 26 what level are you?
Quan:.....(30 seconds later) 35 =.=
I.W: O woot? ...... rite ....math portfolio... lol 1.5k words right now....thought u were asking about .... ye anyways p.k?
Vote:
-74
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Quote #573
little sister: why aren't you sleeping?
IB student: it's 10 pm
little sister: exactly. you said that everyone needs their beauty rest. you don't want eye bags do you?
IB student: shut up. i have a math portfolio to finish
little sister: mommyy!!!!
IB student: *eyes glued on computer*
Vote:
-74
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Quote #791
What IB math does to us poor saps with no lives:
"Girls = Time x Money
Time = Money
Therefore: Girls = Money^2
Money = √evil
Girls = Money^2
Therefore Girls = (√evil)^2
Therefore Girls = evil"
Vote:
-74
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Quote #556
Student 1: All the books we read in English class are feminist! God, women are annoying.
Student 2: Dude. We've only read like, half of them. And in case you didn't notice, Lord of the Flies was about a bunch of little boys...NO WOMEN!
Student 1: ....oh yeah.
Vote:
-76
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Quote #2038
IB pickup line:
You must be chlorine cause you are polarizing my bond!
Vote:
-76
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Quote #55
IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.
Vote:
-78
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Quote #32
"Mao Ze-Dong!" - Josh
In response to the Carsoninian one enterting the room.
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-81
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Quote #1758
After Patrick takes out a non-graphing calculator ( a TI-15 instead of a TI-84)
Jon: Ha your calculator doesn't even have graphing!!!!!!!!!!!
*
*
* Only at IB
Vote:
-83
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Quote #605
rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...
Vote:
-84
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Quote #2108
IB... some people have made this isnt to "im better than you corse" this is as A-level students tent to get on at us .... infact we are the "im better than you cours" ... when exams come it will take half the time to think of a way too kill myself.
Vote:
-88
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Quote #1872
::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two
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-90
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Quote #1008
CAS = Childish Action of Students
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Quote #1067
Selling for Bead for Life...
Alanah: "Okay Michael, so you need to bring money to buy necklaces for your mom and female relatives."
Michael: "...Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Alanah: "No, but we do!"
Michael: "Wtf."
Patricia: "Cathy, tell Mr. Ha we got more beads so he can buy something for his wife for Christmas!"
Cathy: "Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Patricia: "..." Thinking: That phrase is overused.
Cathy: "Okay fine."
She never told him anything.
Vote:
-103
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Quote #1180
IB there for I think
I think there for I drink
...hahahaah yeah in my abundent spare time!!
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-103
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Quote #1651
(This occurred while taking an AR test on the book "Ender's Game", Mr.B was telling us what we should type in as our password, after we logged in)
Mr.B- "For your password type in your initials."
Kaitlin- "Do you want our middle initial too?
Mr.B- "Just the initials of your first and last name."
(Mr.B then realizes that our password is two a's)
Mr.B- "Sorry guys, your password is "aa".
Kaitlin- "What kind of a's? Do you want two capital,two lowercase, or one of each?"
Sarah- "Just type in two a's Kait!!!"
Vote:
-104
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Quote #521
SCHOOL IS DEATH!
IB IS HELL!
CHEMISTRY IS SATAN HIMSELF!
Vote:
-113
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Quote #2109
Most recent jokes ive heard ..
IB student - "your mums so fat she causes dark flow"
A level student - "wht do women call it PMT.
As mad cow desease was already taken"...
Seriously... we can see a distinct differnce :P
Vote:
-115
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Quote #1787
It took me 2 whole years of history to figure out what an idiot Mussolini was.
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-120
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Quote #1337
History pun: When it comes to height, South Koreans have an inch off.
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Quote #2069
IB Biology:
"your so hot... I'd attach you to my active site anyday."
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-121
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Quote #1075
THIS SITE IS PROOF THAT THE NERD SYNDROME IS A WORLD WIDE EPIDEMIA.
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Quote #1649
IB student asks their friend's brother "Where do you go to school at?"
Friend's brother says "I be at Seminole"
IB student: "You're in IB too?"
Friend's brother: "No"
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-122
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Quote #1850
The 5th graders are touring the IB middle school to see if they want to apply next year. They arrive at an 8th grade classroom. An 8th grader screams, "RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! JUST GET AWAY FROM HERE! DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200!!!!!"
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-124
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Quote #227
While you lot are adding quotes, some of us are doing our work!
(from Tino Tenda and Saquib Ali)
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-131
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Quote #355
IB = I Beer
IA = Internal AssAssment
EE = Extruded Essay
...
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-132
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Quote #665
Conversation with our Indian physics teacher (dickhead)
Teacher: So the fuel for a thermal reactor is uranium
Student: whats a thermal reactor?
Teacher: uranium
Student: huh?
Teacher: yea uranium
Student: no sir that doesn't make sense
Another student: yea uranium is the fuel and-
10 MINUTES LATER
Teacher: oh the thermal reactor? oh thats like a cham-ber (accent)
Student: what's a cham-ber?
Another Student: oh CHAMBER!
Teacher: yea that!
Vote:
-132
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Quote #246
Steph: *throws grape in air, attempting to catch it in mouth. It falls to the ground.*
Steph: Meh, I'll throw it away.
*Tosses it at the trashcan, but instead it bounces of the side of the keyboard, off the frame of her bed, and lands at her feet*
Steph: Ok... no one saw that...
Vote:
-134
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Quote #1439
Non-IB: So, how do you think you'll do on the IB exams?
IB: Well, I think I'll probably pass. I just have to study 4 hours each day.
Vote:
-137
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Quote #1493
Two ib students talking about something not school related. Ib student 1: thats like the complete opposite of what ur saying it's like a reciprocal ib student 2: your moms a reciprocal.
Vote:
-140
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Quote #994
Grace: *pointing at a picture of a soldier* whats this?
Dusan: Well grace, thats called a MAN.
*class laughs*
Ms Kwok: Dusan! Come here!
* Dusan walks up towards the front of the class all panicky*
Ms Kwok: Listen, stop being so mean to Grace. She's not like you, she's very fragile and you shouldn't toy with her like that, It doesn't help that you have little girls laughing at her too.
Vote:
-160
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Quote #38
" A Wet Willy is like a French Kiss in the ear" -Chris Lee
Vote:
-178
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