Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #368

Chem teacher looking at student's hair: Jessica your hair is so long and thick and has just the right curl to it...
Jessica: Thank you?
Chem teacher: and so soft....

Vote: Yay! -60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1479

IB is reading these quotes and trying to answer the math questions in them

Vote: Yay! -60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #934

Grace: Why is world war one called a world war? I mean it was only fought in like europe.

Vote: Yay! -63 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #941

IB kids throwing paper balls at each other in library and hiding behind the shelves....
Librarian: I've spent 15 years working in an elementary school library, you just demonstrated the same behavior as a 5th grader

IB student: That's because I'm in IB

Vote: Yay! -63 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #137

Maths teacher after deciding his students were working too quickly leaves the room to go and get more questions.

Student 1 drops her pen and lunges for her bag. Student 2 thinks she wants her calcualtor to work it out and quickly puts it on her table. Student 1 looks back up with a clementine.

Student 1: I didn't want a calculator, I wanted this! (holds up
clementine)

Vote: Yay! -64 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #503

IB student: Enjambent... Yes, I believe it to be a silent 'J'.
IB HL English Teacher: Actually, it's a silent 'B'.
Class chuckles
IB student: IT WAS A JOKE!!!!

Vote: Yay! -64 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #93

Student: Haha, and then he was laughing so hard.

Math teacher: What are you doing?

Student: Nothing...

Math teacher: GET OUT YOUR F..F... FREAKING MATH REVIEW NOW.

Vote: Yay! -67 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #689

First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*

Vote: Yay! -67 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #30

Class: Well there are other things to consider.

Mr. Belbin: That's opening another can of beans, guys

Class: hahahaha!!

Mr. Belbin: Did I say something wrong?

Vote: Yay! -69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #243

Mike: May I have another cookie?

Johana: Sure, here-

Ms. Lauter: Why are you giving him one? He's always making fun of you!

Johana: *Hands cookie* My cookies are golden!

Mike: They look more like white to me...

Johana: That's because I put alot of frosting!

Ms. Lauter: But you deserve it...you really do.

Vote: Yay! -69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #318

Student 1 points to a picture of a soldier: What's this?

Student 2: Well, ...that ...is called ...a MAN.

Vote: Yay! -69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #64

Student 1: I'm scared of holding glass stuff because I'm afraid they'll break.

Student 2: Yeah, I'm scared of holding babies... you might hold them wrong, or drop them, or hurt them. That's why I always hold my babies when I'm sitting down.

Student: omfg... shit

Vote: Yay! -71 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #573

little sister: why aren't you sleeping?
IB student: it's 10 pm
little sister: exactly. you said that everyone needs their beauty rest. you don't want eye bags do you?
IB student: shut up. i have a math portfolio to finish
little sister: mommyy!!!!
IB student: *eyes glued on computer*

Vote: Yay! -71 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #606

IB slowly finger fucks you.

It's that bad.

Vote: Yay! -71 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #9

A student's French paper used baisser in the wrong way.

French Teacher: je pensait que tu a fait quelqu'un chose apres s'as baisse une grenouille.....

[Note: ok my French might be rough but that's the general idea]

Vote: Yay! -72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #202

IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(

Vote: Yay! -73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2038

IB pickup line:
You must be chlorine cause you are polarizing my bond!

Vote: Yay! -73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1191

Channa- "In Chemistry Class, Kindra said that her idol was Hugh Hefner."
Caleb- "I seriously have no idea who that is..."
Kindra- "Man, you must not masturbate at all!!!"

Vote: Yay! -74 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #75

Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?

French Teacher: Umm, let me check.

Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?

French Teacher: Well, I forgot.

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #212

Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #667

In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....

People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.

People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the IBs..it's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...


(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #547

Math teacher: So you have the species of male and female....

Vote: Yay! -77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1932

Econ teacher: When investing in stocks you should look for things that are inelastic... like porn.

Student: Porn makes me inelastic.

Vote: Yay! -77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1758

After Patrick takes out a non-graphing calculator ( a TI-15 instead of a TI-84)
Jon: Ha your calculator doesn't even have graphing!!!!!!!!!!!
*
*
* Only at IB

Vote: Yay! -78 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #556

Student 1: All the books we read in English class are feminist! God, women are annoying.
Student 2: Dude. We've only read like, half of them. And in case you didn't notice, Lord of the Flies was about a bunch of little boys...NO WOMEN!
Student 1: ....oh yeah.

Vote: Yay! -79 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2086

IB student: woots for bs analysis... i love ib

Vote: Yay! -79 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1876

You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....

HAHA

Vote: Yay! -80 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #52

Once on a msn discussion about math portfolio

Quan: How many words do you have?
I.W: 140k and adding
Quat:....O.O ....
I.W: almost level 26 what level are you?
Quan:.....(30 seconds later) 35 =.=
I.W: O woot? ...... rite ....math portfolio... lol 1.5k words right now....thought u were asking about .... ye anyways p.k?

Vote: Yay! -82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #791

What IB math does to us poor saps with no lives:

"Girls = Time x Money

Time = Money

Therefore: Girls = Money^2

Money = &#8730;evil

Girls = Money^2

Therefore Girls = (&#8730;evil)^2

Therefore Girls = evil"

Vote: Yay! -82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #55

IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.

Vote: Yay! -85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #763

an ib stdnt wud look at dis, strggle in readin it, an gt psd of

Vote: Yay! -87 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #32

"Mao Ze-Dong!" - Josh

In response to the Carsoninian one enterting the room.

Vote: Yay! -89 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1872

::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two

Vote: Yay! -101 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #605

rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...

Vote: Yay! -105 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1008

CAS = Childish Action of Students

Vote: Yay! -107 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1651

(This occurred while taking an AR test on the book "Ender's Game", Mr.B was telling us what we should type in as our password, after we logged in)

Mr.B- "For your password type in your initials."
Kaitlin- "Do you want our middle initial too?
Mr.B- "Just the initials of your first and last name."

(Mr.B then realizes that our password is two a's)

Mr.B- "Sorry guys, your password is "aa".
Kaitlin- "What kind of a's? Do you want two capital,two lowercase, or one of each?"
Sarah- "Just type in two a's Kait!!!"

Vote: Yay! -109 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1067

Selling for Bead for Life...

Alanah: "Okay Michael, so you need to bring money to buy necklaces for your mom and female relatives."
Michael: "...Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Alanah: "No, but we do!"
Michael: "Wtf."

Patricia: "Cathy, tell Mr. Ha we got more beads so he can buy something for his wife for Christmas!"
Cathy: "Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Patricia: "..." Thinking: That phrase is overused.
Cathy: "Okay fine."

She never told him anything.

Vote: Yay! -110 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1180

IB there for I think
I think there for I drink
...hahahaah yeah in my abundent spare time!!

Vote: Yay! -111 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #521

SCHOOL IS DEATH!
IB IS HELL!
CHEMISTRY IS SATAN HIMSELF!

Vote: Yay! -115 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1850

The 5th graders are touring the IB middle school to see if they want to apply next year. They arrive at an 8th grade classroom. An 8th grader screams, "RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! JUST GET AWAY FROM HERE! DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200!!!!!"

Vote: Yay! -117 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1075

THIS SITE IS PROOF THAT THE NERD SYNDROME IS A WORLD WIDE EPIDEMIA.

Vote: Yay! -121 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1787

It took me 2 whole years of history to figure out what an idiot Mussolini was.

Vote: Yay! -122 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1337

History pun: When it comes to height, South Koreans have an inch off.

Vote: Yay! -123 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1649

IB student asks their friend's brother "Where do you go to school at?"

Friend's brother says "I be at Seminole"

IB student: "You're in IB too?"

Friend's brother: "No"

Vote: Yay! -128 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2069

IB Biology:
"your so hot... I'd attach you to my active site anyday."

Vote: Yay! -128 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2106

tu madre es un frigorifico.

Vote: Yay! -133 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #227

While you lot are adding quotes, some of us are doing our work!

(from Tino Tenda and Saquib Ali)

Vote: Yay! -138 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1439

Non-IB: So, how do you think you'll do on the IB exams?
IB: Well, I think I'll probably pass. I just have to study 4 hours each day.

Vote: Yay! -141 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #246

Steph: *throws grape in air, attempting to catch it in mouth. It falls to the ground.*

Steph: Meh, I'll throw it away.

*Tosses it at the trashcan, but instead it bounces of the side of the keyboard, off the frame of her bed, and lands at her feet*

Steph: Ok... no one saw that...

Vote: Yay! -145 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1493

Two ib students talking about something not school related. Ib student 1: thats like the complete opposite of what ur saying it's like a reciprocal ib student 2: your moms a reciprocal.

Vote: Yay! -151 Nay! | Permalink

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