Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
‹ First < 1 2 3 4 5 > Last ›Quote #1252
"What's the point of prom?"
"To celebrate your graduation from IB!"
"Why can't we just celebrate that by going home and sleeping for more than 5 hours?"
"...ooh, that sounds fun."
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436
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Quote #82
History teacher wrote a confusing Russian name to the board that contained lot of xywz-letters.
Student: What kind of name is that?
Teacher: I didn't know how to spell it, so I made it up
Class: *erases the name away from the notebook*
Teacher: Do you believe everything I write on the blackboard?
Class: YES
Teacher: Seriously?
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435
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Quote #1868
Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life
-d. cylinder
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434
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Quote #112
Student 1: Hey! I've got a brilliant EE topic!
Student 2: Ah-uhm...
Student 1: It will be: Oedipus, the original motherfucker...
Student 2: ...
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433
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Quote #1823
You know your in IB when you and another IB student have a debate that culminates in "Hitler was really not that bad of a leader..."
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427
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Quote #129
IB kids are basically super human. We can run on as little as one meal and four hours of sleep a day for a duration of two weeks.
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419
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Quote #279
(Non-IB Kids are passing by the window of the chemistry lab while they go off to a pep rally. The IB kids inside are taking a quiz and are therefore not going to the pep rally).
Non-IB Kid: Haha, IB kids!!
Chemistry teacher: They'll be your boss one day!
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419
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Quote #526
The fact that we have a website dedicated to supposedly funny yet brilliant and sometimes obvious quotes, all in honor of IB, basically proves the point of IB; there isn't one.
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417
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Quote #1629
Only in IB:
Hey, we should all meet up at the library over spring break!
Vote:
415
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Quote #1864
You know you're in IB when:
You stay up till 1 in the morning working on a project that was assigned 3 weeks ago, and then you brag about it.
Vote:
413
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Quote #450
Found this on my Facebook wall:
"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE HISTORY STUDYING OMG. Last night I studied so much that I dreamed I was married to Stalin but then he killed me in the gulag!!!"
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410
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Quote #681
IB a nerd today,
IB your boss tomorrow...
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409
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Quote #53
Teacher: A catalyst is something that speeds up a chemical reaction, but it's not involved in the reaction itself.
Student: Um.. can you give us a real life example?
Teacher: Sure, I tell my son to clean up his room, he says no, I ask him nicely, he still says no, so then, I take out my belt and and ask him again, he runs up to clean it.
Student: O.o
Teacher: See, the belt it not never touched him, but it speeds up the reaction.
Vote:
407
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Quote #327
Rising IB junior: So, can you give me any advice about IB English?
IB Senior: When in doubt, the answer is 'sexual repression'.
Vote:
400
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Quote #960
IB student: I had a dream the other night that I came to school without pants. Then the next day I came to school missing an arm. The third day I came to school without my homework and my dad came in and woke me up because I was screaming so loudly.
Vote:
400
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Quote #1807
You know you have no life when you get an adrenaline rush from playing a grammar game in IB French.
Vote:
399
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Quote #37
Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.
Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.
Vote:
392
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Quote #1849
Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.
Vote:
390
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Quote #1035
Do i get creativity hours, for thinking of new IB quotes?
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389
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Quote #1098
IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.
I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.
Vote:
386
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Quote #1140
Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.
Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!
IB players: what's absolute value of v?
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385
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Quote #96
IB, therefore I BS.
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382
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Quote #1368
Patricia: Say something sweet and corny. <3<3
Nate: I don't know.
Patricia: Come on!
Nate: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
Patricia: ...Oh God.
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381
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Quote #1756
Our Math Studies teacher told us that one time he caught his 5 year old daughter saying "To infinity and beyond!" (Toy Story). He then sat her down and took 1/2 hour to explain how that was impossible, since infinity is a concept.
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Quote #1444
In IB, there comes a time where you go to your parents to ask for help in a given subject
They take one look at it
and say
"How would you like to get a tutor?"
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375
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Quote #1673
IB Kid 1: At my old school, there were three IB programmes, starting at age 5.
IB Kid 2: THAT...IS...CHILD ABUSE.
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375
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Quote #1861
You know you're in IB when it physically hurts you when people forget to "safely remove" their hardware.
Vote:
368
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Quote #1693
IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?
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366
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Quote #1750
The advantages of having an IB friend.
1) You feel good about your life.
2) When procrastinating and working at 3am, you know a friend shares the same pain.
Vote:
360
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Quote #286
Matt (IB): Yeah, I went to school today, got a shitload of homework, and now I'm home working on five pages of math, two chem assignments, and 16 pages of random english. And I'm sick. With a fever.
Laura(Honors): Why the heck did you go to school if you were sick?
Matt: Homework comes before health. You fucking die and go to IB hell otherwise.
Vote:
357
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Quote #1344
Remember the good old days before IB when you could sleep in class and still get A's? Well now even in my dreams I fail.
SMT kid
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353
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Quote #3947
You know your in the IB if your school has this traffic sign posted in the parking lot.
Caution: Kids might throw themselves in front of your car.
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352
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Quote #1733
When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".
Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"
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351
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Quote #1182
IB Male Student: Would you like to get creative with me? (winks suggestively)
IB Female Student: No thanks, I'd rather not do you that service.
IB Male Student (disappointed): Awww, you won't give me any action? At all?
IB Female Student: Trust me, I already have enough hours!
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348
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Quote #462
Non-IB student: You're in IB?
IB Student: Yeah.
Non-IB Student: Do you ever have nervous breakdowns involving all-night study sessions ending in screaming Latin phrases and offering to sell your soul to Satan if he'll put you out of this misery?
IB Student: ...just the once.
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344
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Quote #1469
Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.
Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?
Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?
Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.
Vote:
341
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Quote #457
I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep
... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2
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339
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Quote #315
IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...
Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?
Vote:
338
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Quote #752
Party.
Non IB-student: Awesome party! I thought you guys would just say things like "the square root of 21 is..."
IB-student: Haha, no!
Silence.
IB-student: But there is no square root of 21...
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337
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Quote #452
Question on an HL Bio Exam:
A tall, blue blorg mates with a short, white blorg and produces all tall, blue blorgs. This is a result of:
a) both parents having heterzygous traits;
b) both parents having homozygous traits;
c) magic.
Vote:
336
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Quote #77
Looking at an abstract picture:
Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!
Vote:
330
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Quote #256
Math Teacher: Seriously guys, in the long run, what's the difference between a 93 and a 95?
IB student: (in a reverent tone) Your future.
Vote:
329
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Quote #332
How to bullshit an English Commentary:
1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.
2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.
3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.
4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.
5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!
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329
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Quote #1679
TOK - The day the world became pointless.
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329
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Quote #468
Biology Class:
Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.
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327
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Quote #920
Student #1: I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night.
Student #2: Really?
Student #1: Yeah. 5 hours.
Student #3: I was surfing google, because I was bored...but did you know that people our age are apparently supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep?
Student #1: Who the hell gets nine hours of sleep?
Vote:
327
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Quote #1250
Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.
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326
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Quote #1748
In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.
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321
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Quote #1461
Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.
Vote:
320
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Quote #2024
you know you're in IB when you find the quotes on this website better than those on fmylife.com
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320
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