Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #57

Chemistry Teacher: You guys will start the group 4 project next week. You will learn how to socialize with others and have fun.

Vote: Yay! 344 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1833

you know there's got to be something wrong with IB when:

1. you're at a party and you think, "this sucks, I could be doing homework right now!"

2.you argue with teachers over a 99

3.you view lunch as a short nap

Vote: Yay! 343 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #37

Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.

Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?

Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.

Vote: Yay! 342 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #279

(Non-IB Kids are passing by the window of the chemistry lab while they go off to a pep rally. The IB kids inside are taking a quiz and are therefore not going to the pep rally).

Non-IB Kid: Haha, IB kids!!
Chemistry teacher: They'll be your boss one day!

Vote: Yay! 341 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1252

"What's the point of prom?"
"To celebrate your graduation from IB!"
"Why can't we just celebrate that by going home and sleeping for more than 5 hours?"
"...ooh, that sounds fun."

Vote: Yay! 336 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #327

Rising IB junior: So, can you give me any advice about IB English?
IB Senior: When in doubt, the answer is 'sexual repression'.

Vote: Yay! 335 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #526

The fact that we have a website dedicated to supposedly funny yet brilliant and sometimes obvious quotes, all in honor of IB, basically proves the point of IB; there isn't one.

Vote: Yay! 329 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #450

Found this on my Facebook wall:

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE HISTORY STUDYING OMG. Last night I studied so much that I dreamed I was married to Stalin but then he killed me in the gulag!!!"

Vote: Yay! 326 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1823

You know your in IB when you and another IB student have a debate that culminates in "Hitler was really not that bad of a leader..."

Vote: Yay! 323 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #681

IB a nerd today,
IB your boss tomorrow...

Vote: Yay! 318 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #642

"Remember how they told you that real life is harder than IB? Um. They lied."

-Former IB Student

Vote: Yay! 314 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #96

IB, therefore I BS.

Vote: Yay! 313 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #960

IB student: I had a dream the other night that I came to school without pants. Then the next day I came to school missing an arm. The third day I came to school without my homework and my dad came in and woke me up because I was screaming so loudly.

Vote: Yay! 313 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1629

Only in IB:
Hey, we should all meet up at the library over spring break!

Vote: Yay! 313 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1140

Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.

Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!

IB players: what's absolute value of v?

Vote: Yay! 308 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1807

You know you have no life when you get an adrenaline rush from playing a grammar game in IB French.

Vote: Yay! 300 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1469

Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.

Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?

Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?

Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.

Vote: Yay! 296 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1444

In IB, there comes a time where you go to your parents to ask for help in a given subject
They take one look at it
and say
"How would you like to get a tutor?"

Vote: Yay! 293 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1098

IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.

I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.

Vote: Yay! 292 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1756

Our Math Studies teacher told us that one time he caught his 5 year old daughter saying "To infinity and beyond!" (Toy Story). He then sat her down and took 1/2 hour to explain how that was impossible, since infinity is a concept.

Vote: Yay! 291 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #452

Question on an HL Bio Exam:

A tall, blue blorg mates with a short, white blorg and produces all tall, blue blorgs. This is a result of:

a) both parents having heterzygous traits;
b) both parents having homozygous traits;
c) magic.

Vote: Yay! 288 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #457

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep

... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2

Vote: Yay! 287 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1368

Patricia: Say something sweet and corny. <3<3
Nate: I don't know.
Patricia: Come on!
Nate: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
Patricia: ...Oh God.

Vote: Yay! 283 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #286

Matt (IB): Yeah, I went to school today, got a shitload of homework, and now I'm home working on five pages of math, two chem assignments, and 16 pages of random english. And I'm sick. With a fever.

Laura(Honors): Why the heck did you go to school if you were sick?

Matt: Homework comes before health. You fucking die and go to IB hell otherwise.

Vote: Yay! 281 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #256

Math Teacher: Seriously guys, in the long run, what's the difference between a 93 and a 95?
IB student: (in a reverent tone) Your future.

Vote: Yay! 277 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #462

Non-IB student: You're in IB?
IB Student: Yeah.
Non-IB Student: Do you ever have nervous breakdowns involving all-night study sessions ending in screaming Latin phrases and offering to sell your soul to Satan if he'll put you out of this misery?
IB Student: ...just the once.

Vote: Yay! 276 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #315

IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...

Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?

Vote: Yay! 275 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #77

Looking at an abstract picture:

Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1673

IB Kid 1: At my old school, there were three IB programmes, starting at age 5.
IB Kid 2: THAT...IS...CHILD ABUSE.

Vote: Yay! 273 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1461

Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.

Vote: Yay! 272 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1035

Do i get creativity hours, for thinking of new IB quotes?

Vote: Yay! 271 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #468

Biology Class:

Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.

Vote: Yay! 269 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1182

IB Male Student: Would you like to get creative with me? (winks suggestively)
IB Female Student: No thanks, I'd rather not do you that service.
IB Male Student (disappointed): Awww, you won't give me any action? At all?
IB Female Student: Trust me, I already have enough hours!

Vote: Yay! 268 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1750

The advantages of having an IB friend.

1) You feel good about your life.

2) When procrastinating and working at 3am, you know a friend shares the same pain.

Vote: Yay! 265 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #289

*class is talking*
Mr. Daly: *brings out grade reports and shakes them around*
Class: *stares silently at the grade reports*
Mr. Daly: Grade reports are like crack for IB students

Vote: Yay! 264 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #27

Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.

Vote: Yay! 263 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1693

IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?

Vote: Yay! 261 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1733

When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".

Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"

Vote: Yay! 261 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #920

Student #1: I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night.
Student #2: Really?
Student #1: Yeah. 5 hours.
Student #3: I was surfing google, because I was bored...but did you know that people our age are apparently supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep?
Student #1: Who the hell gets nine hours of sleep?

Vote: Yay! 260 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1

Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.

Vote: Yay! 259 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1344

Remember the good old days before IB when you could sleep in class and still get A's? Well now even in my dreams I fail.

SMT kid

Vote: Yay! 259 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #332

How to bullshit an English Commentary:

1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.

2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.

3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.

4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.

5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!

Vote: Yay! 257 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #752

Party.
Non IB-student: Awesome party! I thought you guys would just say things like "the square root of 21 is..."
IB-student: Haha, no!
Silence.
IB-student: But there is no square root of 21...

Vote: Yay! 255 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1868

Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life

-d. cylinder

Vote: Yay! 255 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1864

You know you're in IB when:

You stay up till 1 in the morning working on a project that was assigned 3 weeks ago, and then you brag about it.

Vote: Yay! 253 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #261

IB kid: I hate how the other 80% of the school has no idea what it's doing.

Non IB kid: Yeah, I'm glad I'm in the intelligent 10%.

Vote: Yay! 251 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1748

In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.

Vote: Yay! 251 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1250

Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.

Vote: Yay! 247 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #211

IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.

Vote: Yay! 245 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1005

Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.

Vote: Yay! 244 Nay! | Permalink

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