Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.
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Chemistry Teacher: You guys will start the group 4 project next week. You will learn how to socialize with others and have fun.
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Quote #1833
you know there's got to be something wrong with IB when:
1. you're at a party and you think, "this sucks, I could be doing homework right now!"
2.you argue with teachers over a 99
3.you view lunch as a short nap
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Quote #37
Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.
Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.
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Quote #279
(Non-IB Kids are passing by the window of the chemistry lab while they go off to a pep rally. The IB kids inside are taking a quiz and are therefore not going to the pep rally).
Non-IB Kid: Haha, IB kids!!
Chemistry teacher: They'll be your boss one day!
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341
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Quote #1252
"What's the point of prom?"
"To celebrate your graduation from IB!"
"Why can't we just celebrate that by going home and sleeping for more than 5 hours?"
"...ooh, that sounds fun."
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336
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Quote #327
Rising IB junior: So, can you give me any advice about IB English?
IB Senior: When in doubt, the answer is 'sexual repression'.
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335
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Quote #526
The fact that we have a website dedicated to supposedly funny yet brilliant and sometimes obvious quotes, all in honor of IB, basically proves the point of IB; there isn't one.
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329
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Quote #450
Found this on my Facebook wall:
"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE HISTORY STUDYING OMG. Last night I studied so much that I dreamed I was married to Stalin but then he killed me in the gulag!!!"
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326
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Quote #1823
You know your in IB when you and another IB student have a debate that culminates in "Hitler was really not that bad of a leader..."
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323
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Quote #681
IB a nerd today,
IB your boss tomorrow...
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318
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Quote #642
"Remember how they told you that real life is harder than IB? Um. They lied."
-Former IB Student
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Quote #96
IB, therefore I BS.
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Quote #960
IB student: I had a dream the other night that I came to school without pants. Then the next day I came to school missing an arm. The third day I came to school without my homework and my dad came in and woke me up because I was screaming so loudly.
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313
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Quote #1629
Only in IB:
Hey, we should all meet up at the library over spring break!
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313
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Quote #1140
Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.
Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!
IB players: what's absolute value of v?
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308
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Quote #1807
You know you have no life when you get an adrenaline rush from playing a grammar game in IB French.
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300
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Quote #1469
Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.
Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?
Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?
Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.
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Quote #1444
In IB, there comes a time where you go to your parents to ask for help in a given subject
They take one look at it
and say
"How would you like to get a tutor?"
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293
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Quote #1098
IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.
I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.
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Quote #1756
Our Math Studies teacher told us that one time he caught his 5 year old daughter saying "To infinity and beyond!" (Toy Story). He then sat her down and took 1/2 hour to explain how that was impossible, since infinity is a concept.
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Quote #452
Question on an HL Bio Exam:
A tall, blue blorg mates with a short, white blorg and produces all tall, blue blorgs. This is a result of:
a) both parents having heterzygous traits;
b) both parents having homozygous traits;
c) magic.
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Quote #457
I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep
... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2
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287
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Quote #1368
Patricia: Say something sweet and corny. <3<3
Nate: I don't know.
Patricia: Come on!
Nate: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
Patricia: ...Oh God.
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Quote #286
Matt (IB): Yeah, I went to school today, got a shitload of homework, and now I'm home working on five pages of math, two chem assignments, and 16 pages of random english. And I'm sick. With a fever.
Laura(Honors): Why the heck did you go to school if you were sick?
Matt: Homework comes before health. You fucking die and go to IB hell otherwise.
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Quote #256
Math Teacher: Seriously guys, in the long run, what's the difference between a 93 and a 95?
IB student: (in a reverent tone) Your future.
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277
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Quote #462
Non-IB student: You're in IB?
IB Student: Yeah.
Non-IB Student: Do you ever have nervous breakdowns involving all-night study sessions ending in screaming Latin phrases and offering to sell your soul to Satan if he'll put you out of this misery?
IB Student: ...just the once.
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Quote #315
IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...
Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?
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Quote #77
Looking at an abstract picture:
Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!
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Quote #1673
IB Kid 1: At my old school, there were three IB programmes, starting at age 5.
IB Kid 2: THAT...IS...CHILD ABUSE.
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Quote #1461
Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.
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Quote #1035
Do i get creativity hours, for thinking of new IB quotes?
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Quote #468
Biology Class:
Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.
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Quote #1182
IB Male Student: Would you like to get creative with me? (winks suggestively)
IB Female Student: No thanks, I'd rather not do you that service.
IB Male Student (disappointed): Awww, you won't give me any action? At all?
IB Female Student: Trust me, I already have enough hours!
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Quote #1750
The advantages of having an IB friend.
1) You feel good about your life.
2) When procrastinating and working at 3am, you know a friend shares the same pain.
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Quote #289
*class is talking*
Mr. Daly: *brings out grade reports and shakes them around*
Class: *stares silently at the grade reports*
Mr. Daly: Grade reports are like crack for IB students
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Quote #27
Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.
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Quote #1693
IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?
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Quote #1733
When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".
Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"
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Quote #920
Student #1: I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night.
Student #2: Really?
Student #1: Yeah. 5 hours.
Student #3: I was surfing google, because I was bored...but did you know that people our age are apparently supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep?
Student #1: Who the hell gets nine hours of sleep?
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Quote #1
Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.
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Quote #1344
Remember the good old days before IB when you could sleep in class and still get A's? Well now even in my dreams I fail.
SMT kid
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Quote #332
How to bullshit an English Commentary:
1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.
2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.
3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.
4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.
5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!
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Quote #752
Party.
Non IB-student: Awesome party! I thought you guys would just say things like "the square root of 21 is..."
IB-student: Haha, no!
Silence.
IB-student: But there is no square root of 21...
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Quote #1868
Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life
-d. cylinder
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Quote #1864
You know you're in IB when:
You stay up till 1 in the morning working on a project that was assigned 3 weeks ago, and then you brag about it.
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Quote #261
IB kid: I hate how the other 80% of the school has no idea what it's doing.
Non IB kid: Yeah, I'm glad I'm in the intelligent 10%.
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Quote #1748
In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.
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Quote #1250
Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.
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Quote #211
IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.
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Quote #1005
Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.
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