Browsing top quotations, sorted by votes.

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Quote #927

Click on the up/plus button if you should be doing some kind of homework right now. Click on the down/minus button, if you actually don't have any homework...haha, yeah right.

Vote: Yay! 10179 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #145

The day I ditched school for homework.

Vote: Yay! 4444 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1659

You know you are in IB when you actually laugh at these quotes.

Vote: Yay! 4200 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1668

You know you're in IB when you procrastinate by doing "less important" homework.

Vote: Yay! 4064 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #383

teacher to students: now write your name on this notecard.

Student 1: OK
Student 2: This is easy!

IB Teacher to IB students: now write your name on this notecard

IB Student 1: how big?
IB Student 2: which corner?
IB Student 3: cursive or print?
IB Student 4: do we need to put our whole middle name or just our middle initial?
IB Student 5: What if we don't have a middle name?
IB Student 6: Is pencil okay?
IB Student 7: Do you want it on the side with lines or the blank side?

and we are wondering why IB is so hard

Vote: Yay! 4056 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1018

This is IB, you may pick 2 of the following:

1. Good Grades
2. Enough Sleep
3. A Social Life

Vote: Yay! 3972 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #165

Writing a TOK essay is like being constipated. It hurts like hell and you produce crap very slowly.

Vote: Yay! 3651 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #996

Patricia: Do you think they'll have alcohol at the IB Christmas Party?
Genie: ...IB kids drinking? Can you imagine us drunk? We would be like... "HAHA YOUR FACE IS A PARABOLA."

Vote: Yay! 3576 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #980

Fuck IB, I'm going to Hogwarts.

Vote: Yay! 3415 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1497

IB pickup line:
Baby, I'll treat you like my homework. I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

Vote: Yay! 3400 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #746

ibquotes.com is a stress-relief for IB students, and a reason to procrastinate while still feeling like you're doing something IB related.

-CS

Vote: Yay! 3279 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1546

IB Student to her aunt: I can't talk right now, this is IB hell week.
Aunt: I hate to break this to you, but real life is harder than highschool.
(IB Student laughs hysterically)

Vote: Yay! 3207 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1639

If you are in IB and you ever find yourself without any homework to do one evening then one of the following events must be true:

1. You're forgetting something.
2. Something is wrong with your planner.
3. You're about to wake up in a few minutes.

Vote: Yay! 3182 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #71

Coordinator: Hey Guys! There's a Blood Donation session tomorrow, I hope you can make it!

Student: Do we get CAS hours??

Vote: Yay! 3155 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #3939

Rebel: Sneaks out/in of their house when they're supposed to be sleeping.
IB Rebel: Sneaks around own house to print homework when they're supposed to be sleeping.

Vote: Yay! 3154 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #661

Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.

Vote: Yay! 3028 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #405

How do you even have time to read this ?

Vote: Yay! 2937 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #116

From a website:
Procrastination is like masturbation.
It's a lot of fun until you realize you've just fucked yourself.

Vote: Yay! 2704 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #255

When asked to comment on the IB a student replied: "I'd commit suicide but I don't have the time."

Vote: Yay! 2693 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1698

Only in IB can you bullshit a 10 page commentary on a poem less than 10 words.

PJ

Vote: Yay! 2674 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #753

Frustrated IB Student: You know what? I don't want to wear a normal graduation cap when i graduate. I want a freaking tiara.

Vote: Yay! 2621 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #127

When an IB Coordinator says "Jump!" an IB freshmen asks "How high?"

Two years later the IB Coordinator says "Jump!" and the IB Junior asks "Where's the nearest cliff?"

Vote: Yay! 2614 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #263

IB - the best condom in the world.

Vote: Yay! 2523 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #131

We you're in IB the phrase "I got five hours of action last night" means something completely different.

Vote: Yay! 2474 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #237

Teacher is explaining differentiation to the class

SL Maths Student: Are we ever going to use this in real life?
Teacher: Of course.
SL Maths Student: When?
Teacher: In the exam.

Vote: Yay! 2454 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #330

I used to have a life. Then I started cheating on it with IB, and me and life got a divorce.

Vote: Yay! 2409 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #3

In IB we don't believe in miracles... We rely on them!

Vote: Yay! 2399 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1078

*sung to the tune of the 12 days of christmas*
On the first day of IB my teachers gave to me ...
12 examinations
11 long equations
10 mental breakdowns
9 questions begging
8 textbooks slamming
7 days of working
6 broken pencils
5 PAPER 3s!
4 thousand words
3 hours sleep
2 broken wrists
AND A LOUSY MARK THAT KILLED ME!!!

Vote: Yay! 2399 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #58

ToK in a Nutshell:

The Question: How do we know?
The Answer:We don't.

Vote: Yay! 2353 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1569

The good thing about IB is that you know that when you're up at three am working on an essay, you can can pretty much call anyone for help because chances are they're up working on that essay too.

Vote: Yay! 2286 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1623

IB Student: i wish i had a universal remote control
IB Student: i would stop time
IB Student: and then
IB Student: do hw

Vote: Yay! 2250 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #657

Teacher: "What is the main cause of deforestation?"

Students: *Lifts up their homework*

Vote: Yay! 2235 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #67

The number 45 never looked so high until now...

Vote: Yay! 2225 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1482

You know you're IB when you spend more time editing a paper than writing it because you're over the word count.

Vote: Yay! 2146 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #951

IB Courses: $2400
Exam Retakes: $600
Graphing Display Calculator: $120
English Books/Plays: $50
School Supplies: $100

TOK teaching you it was all for nothing: PRICELESS

Vote: Yay! 2104 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #393

"You shall not pass"
-Gandalf on IB

Vote: Yay! 2099 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1701

You decide to laminate your review sheet to study in the shower.

Vote: Yay! 2071 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #146

Student: Hey I came up with a joke! Want to hear it?
Physics teacher: Okay sure
Student: Okay, what happens when you get stabbed by 1 over T?
Physics teacher: You calculate the frequency of how much you get stabbed?
Student: No, it "hertz".

*class laughs*

Physics teacher: Hey you guys do you want to hear another joke?
Class: Sure!
Physics teacher: I just marked your quizzes.

Vote: Yay! 2047 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1658

IB Kid 1: Hey, want to hear a joke?
IB Kid 2: Yeah, sure.
IB Kid 1: Our social lives.

(both roll on the floor laughing)

Vote: Yay! 2043 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #577

Honors Student: So, what did you do for your birthday?
IB Student: A chemistry formal lab write-up.
Honors Student: Well, did you do anything fun?
IB Student: Yes, I managed to get to bed before midnight. It was wonderful.

Vote: Yay! 2023 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #33

IB helps you with stress management. It throws all this stress at you and says, 'Manage it!' Then you have your breakdown and you get over it.

Vote: Yay! 1970 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #957

Isn't it funny how in the real world 50 hours community servie is a punishment while in IB its a requirement?

Vote: Yay! 1963 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1537

Woman: So you are in IB?
IB Student: Yes
Woman: I have heard nothing but great things about IB!
IB Student: *snicker and mumbles*
Woman: What was that?
IB Student: Oh nothing.
Woman: Oh, anyways, I want to get my daughter into IB when she hits High School, what would you suggest?
*IB student and baby exchange terrified glances*
IB Student: Um...
Woman: Oh one second. I'll be right back, here watch my daughter *Hands IB Student the baby and walks away*
*IB student places baby on the ground*
IB student: RUN CHILD RUN! YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU! GO WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT LIFE!!!

Vote: Yay! 1939 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #485

If you think you're doing the IB, you're wrong. The IB's doing you.

Vote: Yay! 1910 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #309

The realization of actually being in IB hit me when I decided not to wear my seatbelt in the car becuase I would prefer to go to the hospital rather than go to school.

Vote: Yay! 1903 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1524

IB Student 1: Did you understand a word of that math lecture?
IB Student 2: No, I was finishing the physics homework instead.
IB Student 3: Oh my god, do you understand the physics unit?!
IB Student 2: No, I was doing my math homework during the lecture.

Vote: Yay! 1897 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #207

During a break in the biology mock exam:

IB Student 1: What's evolution?
IB Student 2: It's when we finish this exam and half of us drop dead so that only the people who are smart enough move on to the next mock.

Vote: Yay! 1895 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #288

If you are on this site since 5 minutes, you took your break for the week!

Vote: Yay! 1759 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #153

"IB is like an abusive husband, you know you should leave but you can't because you have a life together even if that life occasionally beats you, calls you names, and makes you feel like killing yourself."- Jordan S.

Vote: Yay! 1627 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #23

IB puts the "pro" in procrastination.

Vote: Yay! 1597 Nay! | Permalink

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