Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #224

IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.

(The word they were looking for was "querido")

Vote: Yay! 44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #418

IB Student: Aw man, I have a three hour French class after school today and I have a fever from swimming outside in the rain last night!

Non IB student: Why'd you even go to school!???

IB Student: *looks at other student weirdly* My well being is not my priority, my CAS hours are.

Vote: Yay! 86 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #645

C: Did you hear the one about the guy who owned the hotel?
J: No...
C: Don't worry, it's an inn-side joke
J: *blank look*
C:*writes it down*
J:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
B: That's not even funny

C and J do IB
B does not

Vote: Yay! 58 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #205

A Math teacher at RHS:

Biologists think they're chemists
Chemists think they're physicists
Physicists think they're God BUT
God thinks he's a mathematician!

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1403

You know you're in IB when your class is asked to do a presentation on their favorite technology and almost 2/3 of your class chooses their calculators...

Vote: Yay! 260 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #193

When questioned on the matter, the young IB inquisitively replied,
"Social life? What is a social life?"
and postulated on the matter for the rest of the school year.

Vote: Yay! 40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1256

-in a brief discussion of the Inferno-

Even Satan would pause in the eating of heads to acknowledge that he was jealous of the sot who began IB, it is the highest form of mutilating the youth.

Vote: Yay! 90 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #100

Student (to teacher): Why are you so late?
English Teacher: Why are you so ugly?

Vote: Yay! 152 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1293

(Class is studying their final poem)

English teacher: Well, I can't tell you what's on your Oral Commentaries.

*Silence*

English teacher: But, well, you know, this poem probably isn't going to be on there. Neither is this one, by the way...

Vote: Yay! 77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #661

Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.

Vote: Yay! 3075 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #183

*In the middle of a lesson*

Chemistry Teacher: Does anybody have a potato?
Class: Huh?
Chemistry Teacher: ... *continues lesson*

Vote: Yay! 52 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #315

IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...

Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?

Vote: Yay! 538 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #283

Anya: Hey, Oliver, can I borrow your math portfolio?
Oliver: I'd rather lend you my firstborn child.

Vote: Yay! 940 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #147

Student 1: Your mother is so fat that the only thing attractive about her is her gravity.

Student 2: Your mother is so fat, that she collapsed her own dimension

Student 1: Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has the chance of reaching the speed of light

Student 2: Heh, well your mother is so fat that her Heisenberg uncertainty is zero.

Student 3: Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.

Vote: Yay! 180 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #319

I came, I saw, IB.

Vote: Yay! 29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #436

String CompSciDossier = Lame;

if (Dossier = "completeBeforeItsDueOnFriday")
{
System.out.println("miracle")
}

for (int today = 1, today <= Friday, today++)
{
Sleep = 0;
}

Vote: Yay! 73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1005

Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.

Vote: Yay! 456 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #530

The 'taster sessions' for prospective IB students.

The IB coordinator has set up a 'speed dating session' for the prospective students to lunch with the current students.

General chatter is happening, most people just eating.

IB coordinator, a man in his 60s, walks in and looks about.

Teacher: Just checking you weren't all having an orgy
Students: *nervous laughter*

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #152

Student: Mr. Kent, my hand hurts from writing all these essays.

Mr. Kent: You think this is bad? By the end of senior year, when you get your diploma and shake my hand, you'll have a claw!

Vote: Yay! 81 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #27

Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.

Vote: Yay! 468 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #379

Non IB Student: Hey dude what's up?
IB Student: The positive y-axis!

- Aaron

Vote: Yay! 132 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #328

IB Student: Standard kids stress me out.

Vote: Yay! 128 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1693

IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?

Vote: Yay! 732 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #355

IB = I Beer
IA = Internal AssAssment
EE = Extruded Essay

...

Vote: Yay! -177 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #424

When I started at an IB school I though "wow this school is gonna be really nerdy". After a couple of weeks I realized "wow this school really isn't nerdy!"

Now I know I just became more nerdy!

Vote: Yay! 37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #195

Geography Teacher: So what is it you know about genitalpositions?
Class: Zenithalposition!
Teacher: ...anyways! You know exactly what I was talking about.

Vote: Yay! 3 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #84

Student 1: And so obviously, there is a link between the "devil" in the book and that which appears in the Bible, although-

Student 2: Wait... the devil is in the Bible?

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #173

In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:

Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.

40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place

Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.

40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*

Student 2: You are so STUPID!

Vote: Yay! -20 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #628

EE:
1. Abbreviation for Extended Essay.
2. What the IB junior says when they start to realise how many words 4000 words actually is. "EEEE!"

Vote: Yay! 31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2117

Facebook status at 3am while typing the third draft of World Lit due that morning:

"IB dead".

Vote: Yay! 99 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #329

French Teacher: Okay, the verb "soigner" means "to take care of".

French Teacher: Lets practice.

French Teacher: Est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Jane: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Marcus, est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Marcus: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Emile, est-ce que to soigne ton chat?

Emile: Oui, je soigne ma chat!

*Class laughs*

Marcus: Emile, we don't need to know what you do with your pussy..

Vote: Yay! 63 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #271

[IB Latin American History]

Shuff: Everything in the class is optional - the tests, essays, and homework. It just means I have less to grade. It's all optional.

Chris: LIFE IS OPTIONAL!

Vote: Yay! 48 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #267

IB English Teacher: After reading your World Lit papers, I wanted to go spend my night drinking and drown my sorrows in alcohol.
*Class roars with laughter*
IB English Teacher: What? I AM over 21, you know.
Student: The legal drinking age is 19.
IB English Teacher: Well, I'm over 19 too.

Vote: Yay! 38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2042

You know you're in IB when it's the morning of your birthday, and you're staying up doing your homework.

Vote: Yay! 461 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #273

(Male english teacher on Dr. Astrov from Chekhov's "Uncle Vanya")

"Well YES he was drunk, but he's also a man! And men are notoriously STUPID."

Vote: Yay! 26 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #665

Conversation with our Indian physics teacher (dickhead)

Teacher: So the fuel for a thermal reactor is uranium
Student: whats a thermal reactor?
Teacher: uranium
Student: huh?
Teacher: yea uranium
Student: no sir that doesn't make sense
Another student: yea uranium is the fuel and-


10 MINUTES LATER


Teacher: oh the thermal reactor? oh thats like a cham-ber (accent)
Student: what's a cham-ber?
Another Student: oh CHAMBER!
Teacher: yea that!

Vote: Yay! -179 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #472

Pre IB student: I'm in grade 8, but I'm thinking of going into grade 10 next year so I can start IB

IB students: **SHOCK** puhahahahhahaha

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #59

"You guys are data bulimics. You just swallow it and then spew it out for the test. It's disgusting."

Vote: Yay! 1241 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #288

If you are on this site since 5 minutes, you took your break for the week!

Vote: Yay! 1782 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #97

"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL

Vote: Yay! 41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #540

IB Chemistry Teacher: Which IB science are you planning on taking?
Student: Bio.
IB Chemistry Teacher: Good choice. My class is going to be HELL next year.

Vote: Yay! 184 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #71

Coordinator: Hey Guys! There's a Blood Donation session tomorrow, I hope you can make it!

Student: Do we get CAS hours??

Vote: Yay! 3190 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #33

IB helps you with stress management. It throws all this stress at you and says, 'Manage it!' Then you have your breakdown and you get over it.

Vote: Yay! 1989 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1117

Real life is a holiday compared to the IB.

Vote: Yay! 357 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #570

Mr Edward: hey, what's your name?
Student: Edward sir
Mr Edward: you should be smart then, because your name is Edward. That's why my parents give me name Edward!

Vote: Yay! -261 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1445

IBer to English teacher: Sir, do you know how to find the anti-derivative of (3(x^2+3x)^4)/7? Because I forgot how to do it.

English teacher: Are you insulting me?

Vote: Yay! 192 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #588

Clara: I moved from America to France and barely notice the difference because IB is the same...and IB is my life.

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2103

"One does not simply walk into Mordor .... Or take IB."

- Credit to Taylor

Vote: Yay! 169 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #449

Student: Oh, look at Bobby and Jo - he's sitting next to her!
History Teacher: Yep, Bobby is just like Rasputin, he can't control his sexual appetite!

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1711

IB Student touches something hot: OW! Get it off! Get it off! Gosh darn it, I can feel my enzymes denaturing!

Vote: Yay! 523 Nay! | Permalink