Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #197

Teacher solving a complicated (HL) math problem on the board.

Student: Teacher, what does that +ve mean?
Teacher: What +ve... oh... I don't know. I saw it was in the book.

Vote: Yay! 71 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1435

Chemistry (note: not my idea)

A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.

Vote: Yay! 282 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1077

Rebel: Steals a cop car and drives it down a cliff.
IB Rebel: Drinks coke in the Library.

Vote: Yay! 1269 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1914

IB Math Teacher: Come on guys you know what to do first!
(Class stares blankly)
IB student 1:Well if we divide by ....
IB student 2:No this is not that kind of problem!
(More blank stares)
IB Math teacher: Come on guys, It starts with an F and ends in an OIL!!!!!

Vote: Yay! 70 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1845

You know you need lives when your friend tells you the following:

"So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Hamlet, when Freud walked in on us and started telling me it was reflective of a miserable childhood- on my part, not his."

"So you got Freud to analyze your sex life with a literary character."

"It made it all worth it."

Vote: Yay! 453 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #665

Conversation with our Indian physics teacher (dickhead)

Teacher: So the fuel for a thermal reactor is uranium
Student: whats a thermal reactor?
Teacher: uranium
Student: huh?
Teacher: yea uranium
Student: no sir that doesn't make sense
Another student: yea uranium is the fuel and-


10 MINUTES LATER


Teacher: oh the thermal reactor? oh thats like a cham-ber (accent)
Student: what's a cham-ber?
Another Student: oh CHAMBER!
Teacher: yea that!

Vote: Yay! -178 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #611

(students talking excitedly in Bio Class)
Bio Teacher: i just finished grading your cell test...

complete silence...

(Non-IB teacher walks by...)
Non-IB teacher: i wonder how he commands so much respect from his students..."confused look"

Vote: Yay! 75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1922

Facebook Status: On a date with my World Lit Paper <3

Vote: Yay! 343 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #264

IB, therefore I am.

Vote: Yay! 29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #512

In IB History Class while writing an in class essay......

*A student outside is screaming*

The class all looks toward the window
Ms. Zarcone looks up from her desk to say "Don't worry, it's an IB student"

*The class laughs*

Vote: Yay! 210 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #17

Mark: Absolute uncertainty is when something's ABSOLUTELY uncertain.

Vote: Yay! 149 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #980

Fuck IB, I'm going to Hogwarts.

Vote: Yay! 3441 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #79

Maths teacher joke:

Terrorists stop a bus full of passengers and succeed in getting all the passengers off the bus. When they come to the back of the bus, there is one passenger still there. The terrorists say "if you don't get off the bus NOW, we will differentiate and integrate you". The small passenger replies "I'm e^x".

Vote: Yay! 68 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2081

In IB Calc SL

Teacher: Oh, that is a negative
Student: ...Your face is negative
Teacher: Well, Your face is irrational
Student: Yeah? Well, Your face is imaginary
Teacher: Your face is complex!
Class: Ooooohhhhh!

Vote: Yay! 214 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #495

Chemistry Teacher: ...then we will have to add HCl

Jason: What's HCl again?

James: It's Highly Concentrated Liquid, dumbass!

Jason: Ooh, ok....*writes down*

Vote: Yay! 152 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #353

IB Student 1: I'm so getting a higher grade than in Physics this year. I'll duel to death if I have to.
IB Student 2: Ooh, I'll be Andrew Jackson, and you be Aaron Burr.
IB Student 1: No way, I want to be Andrew Jackson!
Non-IB Student: I will never understand you guys...

Vote: Yay! 49 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #508

In a HL maths class:

Student 1: 8 divide 2 is...16!

Student 2: haha! you're an idiot, why are you doing HL maths?

5 minutes later:

Student 2: what's one to the power of five?

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2084

IB - the only place where a B stands for "below average"

Vote: Yay! 300 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #906

IB Student 1: Man, I don't even care anymore; IB's never going to benefit us in the real world.

IB Student 2: Yesterday IB benefited me in a real life situation.

IB Student 1: Really?

IB Student 2: Yeah, I spilled some tea, and it landed on my EE folder and not my carpet.

Vote: Yay! 317 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #490

<<00XXXX-XX>> My number of convict
--------------------------------------------------------
<<00XXXX-XX>> Mi número de presidario

Vote: Yay! 19 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #307

(While discussing "Their Eyes were Watching God")

Student: I am going to do my project on Janie's relationships and how they are sexist.

IB English Teacher: You are going to research how their sex is?!!!

Vote: Yay! 54 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #268

Physics teacher with bad English: "Delta is from the beginning the grease figure for D."

Vote: Yay! -34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1458

Generic IB Student a: Why are we doing all these stories in English which have crazy people in it? (referring to Of Mice and Men and Death of a Salesman)

Generic IB Student b: It's to prepare you for the worst.

QASMT

Vote: Yay! 101 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1123

Ib student 1 to coordinator:
You know the other day I was thinking about the long term affects of Ib. We are growing individuals and these two years of stress, malnutrition, sleep deprivation, minimal hygiene and spending hours on end staring at a computer screen not to mention the risk of brain cancer inherit in over-thinking everything. Like what do we get from it.
Coordinator:
You get a nice certificate.
Student 2:
Ya certificate of super-nerdyness.

Vote: Yay! 97 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #136

IB Student in Maths Studies.
Student 1: I can't remember how to add.
Student 2: What 2 and 3?
Student 1: Does anyone have a calculator?
Student 1: I AM IN MATHS STUDIES!!!
Student 1: It's just one of those days...

Vote: Yay! 57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #28

(During TOK class): Okay, I don't mean to be offensive... but I mean, the definition of art has a limit. If it sucks, then it's not art.

Vote: Yay! 170 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #629

i wanted to commit suicide when i was in IB.

i already had a gun in hand until i saw a non-IB student walk by happily.

think, i'm going to enslave them in my own company one day.

Vote: Yay! 93 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #343

American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.

Vote: Yay! 37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #539

Teacher to class: Now, if you are a good IB student, you feel guilty when not doing homeworks and thus you will do them and hand them in on time. If you procrastrinate you will go to hell.

Student: Welcome the IB program, we strive to be neutral and not get engaged in such subjects as religion.

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #575

"jane, i've loved you since i first met you, will you be my girlfriend?"
"talk later. not finished with paper."
*beep beep beep beep beep*
"hello? jane?"

Vote: Yay! 61 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #171

(While looking at a map of Europe in a History lesson...)

IB Diploma Student: Where's China?

Vote: Yay! 102 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1219

MTV in IB = Mass Temperature Volume

Vote: Yay! 81 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #169

Biology Teacher: Why have a life when you can read Biology? You're in IB, heaven's sake.

Vote: Yay! 51 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #209

GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)

Vote: Yay! -12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #376

(While talking about IB English Y1 books)
Student 1: These are all so depressing! All of them end in death!
Student 2: Seems appropriate, it's just like IB!

Vote: Yay! 115 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #756

Non IB Student: YO! I got HIGH !

IB Sudent:I got HIGH too :) a 6-
what did YOU get on the test :/

Vote: Yay! 11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #517

Only in the IB can you be thinking so hard about something that you get into an argument with yourself about it, lose the argument and then refuse to talk to yourself for days.

Vote: Yay! 1284 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #558

You know you're in IB when you are surprised when a teacher says to not show your work.

Vote: Yay! 137 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1901

Only in IB will three or four students start a discussion about the political ideologies of various superheroes, at which point the rest of the class will join in.

Vote: Yay! 186 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #59

"You guys are data bulimics. You just swallow it and then spew it out for the test. It's disgusting."

Vote: Yay! 1239 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #123

"A play is like a nose. The more you dig, the more you find." (on the blackboard after literature class)

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1942

Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D

Vote: Yay! 428 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #40

Naomi: Guys the end of the play says that, "I'd rather be dead than fat.......that's heavy"

Vote: Yay! -39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #337

IB Co-ordinator: If you really want to you can read the Harry Potter books as a Creativity for CAS.

Student: Can that count as Service?

Vote: Yay! 115 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #39

Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"

Vote: Yay! -56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #620

(A group of IB students are outside and see a rainbow)

Student: Look! Refracted light!

Vote: Yay! 245 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1733

When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".

Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"

Vote: Yay! 595 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1231

You know you're in IB when you procrastinate with other IBers, you wind up talking about school.

Vote: Yay! 298 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #476

On quote #236

What about the other 1000?

Vote: Yay! -44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1117

Real life is a holiday compared to the IB.

Vote: Yay! 356 Nay! | Permalink