Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #461

AP World History Teacher: So, I tried having a discussion about China and the Olympics with second period, but I quickly learned they had no opinions. I hope you guys do a better job.

Student: Opinions? We only know facts!

Vote: 55 | Permalink

Quote #711

The real purpose of the IB student is to develop masochism.

Vote: 89 | Permalink

Quote #95

IB Coordinator: MSN is the demise of my IB Program.

Vote: 29 | Permalink

Quote #1979

IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?

Vote: 206 | Permalink

Quote #66

"Could you guys stop arguing over my head? I'm trying to READ"

A student in ITGS class, when another student was whining at the teacher

Vote: -11 | Permalink

Quote #1535

Teacher: This is madness.
IB student: Madness? This is IB!

Vote: 237 | Permalink

Quote #175

Javier: She's like, ADD in a can.
Steph: I'm concentrated ADD!
Javier, Mike: ...
Steph: Wait...

Vote: 24 | Permalink

Quote #426

The ultimate geek joke:

Paddy: Can you tell the difference between a gas and a plasma just by looking?

James: I dunno. I guess not. They'd probably look the same.

Paddy: Ohhh...... (makes flapping movements in the direction of James)

James: Ahhh! Paddy's throwing ions at me!

Yingke: Shouldn't you be dead?

James: Apparently not.

Vote: -20 | Permalink

Quote #558

You know you're in IB when you are surprised when a teacher says to not show your work.

Vote: 123 | Permalink

Quote #841

Substitute Teacher: So... you guys are in IB?

Class: Yes.

Substitute Teacher: That's like AP, right?

Class: No, it's different.

Substitute Teacher: But both programs let you earn college credits, right? Then they're the same.

Class: They're not the same!

(A short debate ensues. The sub still doesn't believe there's a difference between IB and AP.)

Vote: -34 | Permalink

Quote #1274

A message fom an IB student to her father:
-Everything's fine except I've got a bad cold and almost no voice. I still went to school and I got my report grades-
He replies:
-You need to take care of yourself, get more sleep.
WHAT GRADES DID YOU GET???

Vote: -36 | Permalink

Quote #1084

"Spark Notes are too long."

-IB Senior

Vote: 424 | Permalink

Quote #1749

Whoever has time to come on this site is either not in IB or going to drop out of IB.

Vote: -1003 | Permalink

Quote #1062

Flora: I'm cold even with mittens on! How do I get an exothermic reaction to take place inside the mittens?

Vote: 120 | Permalink

Quote #2048

Student in Year 12 HL Maths, in exam period:

"I hate maths. It's the only subject I can't study in the shower."

Vote: 224 | Permalink

Quote #30

Class: Well there are other things to consider.

Mr. Belbin: That's opening another can of beans, guys

Class: hahahaha!!

Mr. Belbin: Did I say something wrong?

Vote: -62 | Permalink

Quote #2109

Most recent jokes ive heard ..

IB student - "your mums so fat she causes dark flow"

A level student - "wht do women call it PMT.

As mad cow desease was already taken"...

Seriously... we can see a distinct differnce :P

Vote: -150 | Permalink

Quote #1009

*water polo practice at an IB High School*
IB Frosh: So what's TOK like?
IB Senior: Well you assume were in a pool now, right?
IB Frosh: Sure.
IB Senior: Well can you prove we are?
IB Frosh: ...uh??

Vote: 401 | Permalink

Quote #2027

You know you're in IB when you can text faster on your calculator than your phone.

Vote: 501 | Permalink

Quote #129

IB kids are basically super human. We can run on as little as one meal and four hours of sleep a day for a duration of two weeks.

Vote: 623 | Permalink

Quote #121

Music teacher: What's one important thing you remember about Wagner?

Student: He didn't like Jewish people.

Vote: -4 | Permalink

Quote #843

Teacher: And to find the amount of molecules, we use Avogadro's number...
Student: What the hell do avocados have to do with anything?

Vote: 157 | Permalink

Quote #327

Rising IB junior: So, can you give me any advice about IB English?
IB Senior: When in doubt, the answer is 'sexual repression'.

Vote: 597 | Permalink

Quote #15

Lucas: It's a really fun game when you use hacks, because everyone gets pissed at you and tells you to go kill yourself. And then you have wonderful philosophical debates with them, about how using hacks in games has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

Vote: 102 | Permalink

Quote #255

When asked to comment on the IB a student replied: "I'd commit suicide but I don't have the time."

Vote: 2150 | Permalink

Quote #7

Agitated French teacher: You don't "baisser" a frog, never!

Vote: 90 | Permalink

Quote #939

Ms. Samele (IB Coordinator): Okay, I need your guys' help with...
Class (cutting her off): NO NO NO NO We're busy as shit! NO
Ms. Samele: ...and the pizza's on IB.
Class: FOOD?? WHERE? We'll do it!!

Vote: 64 | Permalink

Quote #657

Teacher: "What is the main cause of deforestation?"

Students: *Lifts up their homework*

Vote: 1735 | Permalink

Quote #365

IB SL Business Teacher: So how does the money flow out of a business other than purchases of sales, loans, rent or advertising?

IB Student: Bribes

*class laughs*

IB SL Business Teacher, shuffles paper and discreetly looks at her notes: I don't think so.

Vote: 34 | Permalink

Quote #906

IB Student 1: Man, I don't even care anymore; IB's never going to benefit us in the real world.

IB Student 2: Yesterday IB benefited me in a real life situation.

IB Student 1: Really?

IB Student 2: Yeah, I spilled some tea, and it landed on my EE folder and not my carpet.

Vote: 288 | Permalink

Quote #1198

IB teacher: Okay well you guys can start now
IB student: Uhm, miss?
IB teacher: yes, what is it!
IB student: I have a question.
IB teacher: HOW CAN YOU HAVE A QUESTION!? This is GYM and we are playing cops and robbers!!!

Vote: 72 | Permalink

Quote #122

(After hearing rumors of a Group 4 Project that lunch hour)

Student 1: What the hell is group 4?
Student 2: No idea but apparently we have to go to some meeting.
Student 3: Something to do with us doing some science project together.
Student 2: That's ok then I only do environmental systems.
Student 1: I need to do my World Lit 1.
Student 3: Well I don’t give a @#£$ if you don't go just don’t come asking me when you have no @£%&$"£% clue what to do.
Student 1 and 2: Meh I'll come then no need to do extra work trying to work out what to do in the first place.

Vote: -34 | Permalink

Quote #329

French Teacher: Okay, the verb "soigner" means "to take care of".

French Teacher: Lets practice.

French Teacher: Est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Jane: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Marcus, est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Marcus: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Emile, est-ce que to soigne ton chat?

Emile: Oui, je soigne ma chat!

*Class laughs*

Marcus: Emile, we don't need to know what you do with your pussy..

Vote: 60 | Permalink

Quote #599

After a Physics exam the only formula you know is E=hf

Exam = hard *uck

Vote: -16 | Permalink

Quote #425

Pre IB student: SO SO SO, is IB fun?

IB student: um, hmm, mhmm, eh. *grimaces*

Vote: 34 | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: -50 | Permalink

Quote #1299

During break time for IB students

Student 1: here let me try to catch that piece of cookie with my mouth
student 2: okay ready? (throws it to her face)
student 1: OMG i got it!

student 3: I want to try!
student: okay okay ready? (throws)
student 3: awh darn try again
student 2: (throws it again)
student 3: OH I GOT IT! HAHA YAAYY (claps)

this is what IB students call "so much fun"

Vote: 107 | Permalink

Quote #661

Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.

Vote: 2148 | Permalink

Quote #1701

You decide to laminate your review sheet to study in the shower.

Vote: 1553 | Permalink

Quote #1309

IB Freshman: It's official. I'm an IB kid.
IB Senior: Why?
IB Freshman: I now have mastered the art of making coffee without waking my mom up.

Vote: -9 | Permalink

Quote #410

"On the way to school I contemplated driving into a tree instead of facing my chemistry IB teacher" (IB day dreams)

Vote: 65 | Permalink

Quote #260

In an IB Physics class:

Student: So what causes light to refract?
Teacher: Imagine light is a tractor driving first on pavement and then on some other denser medium... say, cheese grits...

Vote: 42 | Permalink

Quote #1655

IB homework is like erectile dysfunction - you keep telling yourself that everyone is having the same problems as you.

Tom

Vote: 326 | Permalink

Quote #1484

Non-IB Student: I feel like skipping school tomorrow. Feel like coming with?
IB Student: Let me check my schedule... Bio and French Quiz tomorrow... passage C discussion in English... History DBQ. Nope, can't. How about you ask me again in a few weeks?

Vote: 114 | Permalink

Quote #989

i love the depth of ToK :P

"Arts is completly subjective
-> Picaso's art looks like trash to normal people but is priceless to those who like trash"

(my friend's actual notes for our upcoming presentation on ways of knowing through observation)

Vote: 75 | Permalink

Quote #1186

No IB student is a virgin.

They all get fucked by the IB.

Vote: 297 | Permalink

Quote #1527

Ravneet - I hate "ibquotes.com". The jokes aren't even funny. Gabi laughs at them...
Merrideth - You just don't get it because you're stupid.
Ravneet - Then how did I get into IB?
Merrideth - The IB program is also stupid.
Ravneet - You're in the IB program...
Merrideth - My parents made me. That makes sense because they are stupid, too.
Ravneet - You've got a point...
Merrideth - Why are you calling my parents STUPID?

Vote: -522 | Permalink

Quote #1641

Writing your World Lit. paper is like vomiting. You don't want to do it, but you feel so much better after its finally out of your system.