Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #322

(French teacher passes out French test)
(Class realizes they have already taken this test)

Student 1: Madame, we've already taken this test.
Student 2: Yeah, it was our midterm.
(Class murmurs sounds of agreement)
Teacher: Oh, you're so picky, just take it.

Vote: Yay! 60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #191

"Is this side 1?"

"Of course it is, that's a f*cking unit circle."

Vote: Yay! 28 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1546

IB Student to her aunt: I can't talk right now, this is IB hell week.
Aunt: I hate to break this to you, but real life is harder than highschool.
(IB Student laughs hysterically)

Vote: Yay! 3234 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1240

Let's all go drink some water and make our cells hypotonic!!!!!!!!!!!

Vote: Yay! -11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #629

i wanted to commit suicide when i was in IB.

i already had a gun in hand until i saw a non-IB student walk by happily.

think, i'm going to enslave them in my own company one day.

Vote: Yay! 93 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #240

Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.

*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*


Vote: Yay! -14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1549

IB is not a path chosen for the faintest of heart. Only for the ones that chose the wrong path.

Vote: Yay! 363 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #645

C: Did you hear the one about the guy who owned the hotel?
J: No...
C: Don't worry, it's an inn-side joke
J: *blank look*
C:*writes it down*
B: That's not even funny

C and J do IB
B does not

Vote: Yay! 56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: Yay! -52 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #253

I plucked my mom's eyebrows. Now can I have the CAS hours?

Vote: Yay! 60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1920

IB student to math teacher: Sir, did you know that Einstien failed in math when he was a kid?

Math teacher: WELL EINSTEIN WASN'T IN IB!!!!!!


Vote: Yay! 253 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #492

IB Student 1: Is light a particle or a wave?
IB Student 2: Yes!
Non-IB Student: Haha you idiot! You can't even answer a "this or that" question properly.
All IB Students: There's so much irony it hurts.

Vote: Yay! 203 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #281

(At our school, the IB kids get a pizza lunch once a month).

Freshman IB History Teacher before our first pizza lunch: You'll quickly learn that these lunches are the only good thing about IB.
Alex: So what, we sell our souls for pizza?

Vote: Yay! 74 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #415

In TOK class trying to define 'good' and giving examples of when we use it

Student 1: 'Good' is what you use to describe something that is not bad.

Student 2: But that definition doesn't apply to all uses of it.

Student 1: But for example out of a 'good boy' and a 'bad boy' then of course the good is the one you would want.

TOK teacher: Uh... really??

Vote: Yay! 38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #143

The best response to impossible Chem HL questions:

"Here's another thing you taught me, how to brew up TNT. "

Vote: Yay! 32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #706

In ToK Class talking about the Butterfly effect.

ToK Teacher: So the butterfly effect is the theory that when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a hurricane.

*Two Girls flap their arms*

ToK Teacher: Are you MOCKING me?

Girls: No, we're being butterflies of death!

Vote: Yay! 72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #468

Biology Class:

Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.

Vote: Yay! 493 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1941

Being an IB student is like being a kamikaze: They will tell you it's for some greater good, but the truth is you're on a mission to kill yourself.

Vote: Yay! 518 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1899

only in IB will you find kids writing in all surfaces of the auditorium during a senior assembly trying to finish their chemistry write up

Vote: Yay! 82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #512

In IB History Class while writing an in class essay......

*A student outside is screaming*

The class all looks toward the window
Ms. Zarcone looks up from her desk to say "Don't worry, it's an IB student"

*The class laughs*

Vote: Yay! 209 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1383

Happened after school on a Friday when me and another IB friend went back to my place to play DOTA (computer game). My mum is friends with the CAS coordinator.. So the CAS coordinator comes round to my house looking for her bike which she left here the other day. She sees my friend holding his laptop and laughs.

Coordinator: So this is why you were too busy to teach me piano!
Me: Meh, its alright, she likes scaring people
Friend: #$@%, well that was embarrassing
Me: Well.. at least she has nothing to do with your IB. I mean its not like your future depends on doing pointless activities for her.. OH WAIT!!!!
Friend: I hate you like phosphorous hates water

Vote: Yay! 86 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #490

<<00XXXX-XX>> My number of convict
<<00XXXX-XX>> Mi número de presidario

Vote: Yay! 19 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #198

During a review period in English class.

IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #988

Ms Bigras: If you don't stop talking I'm going to throw you out the window. Actually, I'll put you in a microwave at the back of the room.

IB student: We learned about microwaves today! Apparently they can burn your skin off!

Ms Bigras: Thats great, stop talking.

Vote: Yay! 40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1804

True Story:

NonIB Student: Hey, it's your birthday! What are you doing today?

IB Student: Well, I have a calculus test and my TOK presentation, a meeting with the IB Coordinator after school to get some scholarship forms filled out, the rest of my math IA to do, an appointment with my shrink because my anxiety disorder is getting worse, two hours of chemistry tonight so that we can learn part of option E, and then I'll probably go home and finish my physics lab before I read Death of a Salesman.

NonIB Student: ...Cool.

Vote: Yay! 1103 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #547

Math teacher: So you have the species of male and female....

Vote: Yay! -77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1620

IB pickup line:

You're so hot you denatured my enzymes!

Vote: Yay! 206 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1861

You know you're in IB when it physically hurts you when people forget to "safely remove" their hardware.

Vote: Yay! 748 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1887

Only an IB student would:

Read a book and get confused, because they think that "etc" stands for "electron transport chain".

Vote: Yay! 183 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #494

In HL Physics. A class of 11 students. The teacher and all the students are male except for me.

Chapter on Quantum and Nuclear Physics.

"... And so you have quarks which make up hadrons. Now, you have many different kinds of hadrons like baryons and mes--"

*genuinely puzzled* "Sir, sir, wait. I don't understand. What are *looks at notes* hard on--"
Whole class bursts into laughter. "-- I MEAN hadrons?"

'Hard on! He said hard on! AHAHA!'
'Ahaha, Jerome, you're an idiot.'
'Jerome! It's HADrons!'
'Hard on... Ahaha'
''What is a hard on'... Ahaha. You don't know what a hard on is, Jerome?'

Then they start noticing my presence and become uncomfortable.

I think I laughed the hardest.

Vote: Yay! 157 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1386

Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.

Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.

Vote: Yay! 1498 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #928

(IB Students are discussing upcoming field trip to Presidential Inauguration in January)

Teacher coordinating fiedl trip: It will be really cold, guys. You may be standing outside for five hours in 10 degree weather.
Student: Can we get action hours for that?

Vote: Yay! 144 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #292

IB Physics pick-up line: Are you infrared? Because girl, you're giving off heat!

Vote: Yay! 99 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1642

The Difference between SL and HL Chemistry:

SL: You have to work through study hall, weekends, holidays, answering the same tedious questions over and over again until you want to chuck your book out of the window, and then you will pass.

HL: You have to memorize the book and pray for a miracle.

Vote: Yay! 394 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1569

The good thing about IB is that you know that when you're up at three am working on an essay, you can can pretty much call anyone for help because chances are they're up working on that essay too.

Vote: Yay! 2298 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1645

Is the following

A) A generous offer to help a fellow IBer in Chemistry Class
B) Proposition of sexual intercourse?

"Hey, Christopher, do you want to learn about sex hormones?"

The world may never know.

Vote: Yay! 251 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1524

IB Student 1: Did you understand a word of that math lecture?
IB Student 2: No, I was finishing the physics homework instead.
IB Student 3: Oh my god, do you understand the physics unit?!
IB Student 2: No, I was doing my math homework during the lecture.

Vote: Yay! 1906 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #170

IB, I'm Better.

Vote: Yay! 41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #633

Student: *writes on board* 100 days to Christmas

Teacher: *erases board* You may be in IB, but this is a publis school. We're not allowed to have Christmas!

Student: *writes on board again* 100 days to the Birth of the Generic Deity of Your Choosing

Vote: Yay! 200 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1365

Satan's three greatest accomplishments:
3. WWI (thousands died)
2. WWII (thousands more died)
1. IB (thousands are put under extreme suffering each year)

Vote: Yay! 229 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #446

If IB kids are supposed to be so smart, then how did we fall for THIS trick....


Vote: Yay! 120 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #478

I think therefore IB

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #643

Prospective IB student: I think Im going to take higher level math... i do well in Maths b here.

Ex IB student *not really paying attention*: Rather than taking HL, take some LSD. Then calculate the improbability of your ability to pass if you're the only one who can see the air molecules vibrating and claim it to be oxygen.

Prospective student: ...

Ex IB student: Your chem teacher would be proud of you.... *walks away*

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1842

Student 1: *freaking out* Guys I am totally failing my Math Studies IA!!!!

Student 2: You can't fail it......

Student 1:..................I wrote it all night, starting at midnight, the one formula I based my entire thesis on had a crazy negative decimal number as a result, so I concluded that the trajectile thrown by the catapult went backwards in time and space and hit someone in the 16th century in the foot and it was all the fault of the French. Here, see I drew a cartoon to add to it.

Student 2: ......with each page of your paper I can tell what time in the morning it is and how much sleep you've had.....

Grades on IA's:

Student 2: C+
Student 1: C


Math Teacher: I just gave you extra points because you weren't moderated...and it amused me how little math you know.

Vote: Yay! 212 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #848

English Class studying "Death of a Salesman"

Student: Hold on! Doesn't having a 'Requiem' spoil the ending? I mean we didn't know that Willy actually died just then!

Teacher: Did you even LOOK at the title of the play? .....DEATH of a salesman?

Vote: Yay! 95 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1641

Writing your World Lit. paper is like vomiting. You don't want to do it, but you feel so much better after its finally out of your system.

Vote: Yay! 428 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #264

IB, therefore I am.

Vote: Yay! 29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1894

you know when you're in the IB when you take HL Math and someone younger than you comes up to ask you about a simple y=mx+b problem and you completely space about how to solve the problem.....

J Peterson- IB Junior

Vote: Yay! 188 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #228

You know you're in IB when you start analyzing newspaper articles!

Vote: Yay! 82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #89

Chem HL Teacher: Any demonstration where the teacher may die is a good one.

Vote: Yay! 170 Nay! | Permalink