Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #1894

you know when you're in the IB when you take HL Math and someone younger than you comes up to ask you about a simple y=mx+b problem and you completely space about how to solve the problem.....

J Peterson- IB Junior

Vote: Yay! 189 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1907

Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='


- by Sahiti

Vote: Yay! -35 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #734

School's Morning Announcements: The Terry Fox Run will be next week in second period!
Patricia: But I don't wanna miss biology to run. Do we get CAS hours?

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Quote #536

Quotes overheard in various classes. It's a wonder half of these people are even in the IB:
"I don't have palm cards, I have arm cards"- Nobby decided to cut his entire speech up and use them for his oral
"Just because you yell it doesn't mean you're right!!"- she yelled.
"Is pasta vegetarian?"
"I can't make my words any..uh..un-smarter than they already are"- as evident by that sentence, Nobby
"I'm spoonerific!"- a discussion about the differences between dislexia and spoonerisms. From Nobby
"The law is you have to cover your various naughty bits"- TOK
"Your fingers are like delicate little children"
"Water shouldn't be bottled..it should be free..and stuff"- ethics of bottling water

Vote: Yay! -11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #379

Non IB Student: Hey dude what's up?
IB Student: The positive y-axis!

- Aaron

Vote: Yay! 132 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1065

Charlie (crying hysterically): I HATE IB! IT'S KILLING ME! I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM GOING TO TALK TO OUR COORDINATOR TOMORROW AND DROP OUT!
Maya: No you won't.
Charlie: You're right, I won't.

Vote: Yay! 938 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1250

Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.

Vote: Yay! 678 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #343

American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.

Vote: Yay! 37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2106

tu madre es un frigorifico.

Vote: Yay! -132 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1527

Ravneet - I hate "ibquotes.com". The jokes aren't even funny. Gabi laughs at them...
Merrideth - You just don't get it because you're stupid.
Ravneet - Then how did I get into IB?
Merrideth - The IB program is also stupid.
Ravneet - You're in the IB program...
Merrideth - My parents made me. That makes sense because they are stupid, too.
Ravneet - You've got a point...
Merrideth - Why are you calling my parents STUPID?

Vote: Yay! -545 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2109

Most recent jokes ive heard ..

IB student - "your mums so fat she causes dark flow"

A level student - "wht do women call it PMT.

As mad cow desease was already taken"...

Seriously... we can see a distinct differnce :P

Vote: Yay! -282 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #619

I wonder if King Midas went to IB???...cause he was able to turn shit into gold...

Vote: Yay! 218 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #165

Writing a TOK essay is like being constipated. It hurts like hell and you produce crap very slowly.

Vote: Yay! 3687 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #989

i love the depth of ToK :P

"Arts is completly subjective
-> Picaso's art looks like trash to normal people but is priceless to those who like trash"

(my friend's actual notes for our upcoming presentation on ways of knowing through observation)

Vote: Yay! 87 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1535

Teacher: This is madness.
IB student: Madness? This is IB!

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #254

Chem HL Student: Got some delta-9-tetra hydrocannabinol?
Guy 1: (raises his eyebrows) wtf???
Other Chem HL guy: (closes his eyes)... Oh give him what you're smoking...
Guy 1: It's called hashish you idiot.

Vote: Yay! 93 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #147

Student 1: Your mother is so fat that the only thing attractive about her is her gravity.

Student 2: Your mother is so fat, that she collapsed her own dimension

Student 1: Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has the chance of reaching the speed of light

Student 2: Heh, well your mother is so fat that her Heisenberg uncertainty is zero.

Student 3: Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.

Vote: Yay! 180 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #133

"A person accidentally swallows a drop of liquid oxygen..."
-IB Chemistry gas practice problem

Vote: Yay! 77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #539

Teacher to class: Now, if you are a good IB student, you feel guilty when not doing homeworks and thus you will do them and hand them in on time. If you procrastrinate you will go to hell.

Student: Welcome the IB program, we strive to be neutral and not get engaged in such subjects as religion.

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #592

In elementary, staying up after 8 was unheard of
In JH, staying up after 12 was abnormal
In pre-IB staying up after 3am is common
In IB doing all nighters is part of your daily life

Vote: Yay! 167 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #528

Chemistry teacher walks past student and knocks her stool.

Student1: Hey, you hit my stool!
Teacher: Really?

Teacher does it again and then kicks the student's stool next to hers (Student 2)

Student 2: What was that about?
Teacher: I just don't like you.

Vote: Yay! 42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #82

History teacher wrote a confusing Russian name to the board that contained lot of xywz-letters.

Student: What kind of name is that?

Teacher: I didn't know how to spell it, so I made it up

Class: *erases the name away from the notebook*

Teacher: Do you believe everything I write on the blackboard?

Class: YES

Teacher: Seriously?

Vote: Yay! 680 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1274

A message fom an IB student to her father:
-Everything's fine except I've got a bad cold and almost no voice. I still went to school and I got my report grades-
He replies:
-You need to take care of yourself, get more sleep.
WHAT GRADES DID YOU GET???

Vote: Yay! -34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1653

IB Student 1:What if we put all the IB kids on an island and told them they had to get off of it because it was going to explode in 24 hours?
IB Student 2: You know... I don't know if I would try to get off.

Vote: Yay! 373 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

Vote: Yay! -55 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #638

To hand in homework is like menstruation. To go though it annoys you, but being late can really freak you out.
BSRJ

Vote: Yay! 376 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1838

Those who aren't in IB may make jokes about those of us who are, but we are a cult. This means that when we vote on, say, senior superlatives, IB kids will vote for IB kids therefore over ruling everyone else's vote.

Vote: Yay! 256 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #188

"I like this site, the quotes about procrastination are so funny, I'm so glad I don't procrastinate!

I've been reading this site for a half hour after I had stumbled upon it when looking up something to study before midterms tomorrow, and... oh, right..."

Vote: Yay! 83 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1098

IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.

I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.

Vote: Yay! 709 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #127

When an IB Coordinator says "Jump!" an IB freshmen asks "How high?"

Two years later the IB Coordinator says "Jump!" and the IB Junior asks "Where's the nearest cliff?"

Vote: Yay! 2634 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #161

The only thing holding us down is our backpacks!

Vote: Yay! 264 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1268

IB spanish student 1: Learning spanish forgets me my french.
IB spanish student 2: And your english!
*IB spanish student 3 enters*
IB spanish student 1: DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST SAID?!

Vote: Yay! 86 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #523

Ordinary school student : If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands...

IB school student : If you're happy and you know it then you've gone crazy!

Vote: Yay! 138 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1760

IB Student: Can I have a mini-fridge in my room?
Dad: Are you kidding me? The only time I get to see you is during dinner!

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Quote #554

"BLECH. ACK. ARGH. DUH. These are the markbands for your TOK paper."

- TOK Teacher

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Quote #428

Student gets up to leave halfway through a lesson.

Teacher: Where are you going?
Student: Slowly insane.

Vote: Yay! 292 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1279

Stephen Hawkins was the last IB student before CAS came in
yes, he may be smart, but look at his physical state!

- Ben Cole, Queensland Academy for Health Sciences

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #501

IB, where three hours is too much sleep.

Vote: Yay! 341 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #839

Mr. Robinson: "Through numbers one cannot express feelings"

Luis: "Oh yeah you can, just draw 69 to someone"

Vote: Yay! 83 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #442

German science teacher:

Teacher: No gravity allowed on your books
Student: No gravity, how do we stop that working?
Teacher: No graffitti

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Quote #717

these IB quotes are oh so shamefully LAME. As an IB student myself,I find this sense of humour murderously dry. Come on guys, just coz ur doin IB, doesnt mean u gotta lower ur yourselves voluntarily to the status of lowlife nerds!

Vote: Yay! -1016 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #628

EE:
1. Abbreviation for Extended Essay.
2. What the IB junior says when they start to realise how many words 4000 words actually is. "EEEE!"

Vote: Yay! 31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #608

(NON IB STUDENT):
..martin.. - ( ) says:
IB kids waste too much time by reading and talking about how much they hate IB
(IB STUDENT):
rachel<33 says:
I hate IB

Vote: Yay! 38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #245

Mike: *Throws grape in air and catches it with mouth*

Steph: Ooh! Let me try! *Throws grape in air... doesn't come down.*

Mike + Steph: What the fuck!?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #224

IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.

(The word they were looking for was "querido")

Vote: Yay! 44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #203

Chemistry SL Teacher: The forces of attraction between the sheets..
Class: hahahahahaha
Teacher: OK seriously you're in IB it isn't as if you haven't heard worse in English class.

Vote: Yay! 147 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #394

Teacher: ... read through this lab report about "Pea Seed Germination.. they tried to soak some of the pea seeds with a lot of water, and then compared them to one the ones which didn't get that much water."

Students leave classroom.

Student1 (female): But I mean... isn't that quite expensive?
Student2: What do you mean?
Student1: Yeah, the computers probably don't work when you've poured water over them!!

(Pea seed; PC)

(and we're supposed to be smart.)

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Quote #73

During a math class

Student 1: God you're stupid! How can you not get this quadratic?
Student 2: Suck my parabola!

Vote: Yay! 301 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #287

Chemistry HL Teacher: The mole is your God.

Vote: Yay! 70 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #617

Who will do well in IB?
Those who like BS

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink