Browsing 50 random quotations.
Quote #1239
Student 1:Imagine what would happen if you stuck 50 IB students on a plane.
Student 2: That would be funny and i'd bring my video camera too.
Student 1: Why?
Student 2: So I could film the rest of the passengers jumping out the back door.
Vote:
103
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Quote #880
IB Student: "Wow, this couch is a lot softer than I remembered."
IB Student's Mother: "Um sweetie... that's the floor."
Vote:
174
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Quote #1531
TOK,
Teacher: What do you know?
Students: Nothing
Teacher: What dont you know?
Students: everything
Teacher: What have you learned?
Students: WAIT we were learning.
Vote:
75
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Quote #98
Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?
Class: No...
Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!
Vote:
248
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Quote #658
IB = Internal Bleeding
Vote:
43
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Quote #578
IB Student: So, I broke up with my boyfriend last night.
Non-IB Student: Aww, that's terrible.
IB Student: Yeah... but it's okay. It would never have worked anyway; I'm IB, he's AP.
Non-IB Student: ...Uh okay.
Vote:
86
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Quote #678
(In an IB Psych activity)
Student 1: What is your idea of hell?
Student 2: A teacher with a 30% pass rate.
Vote:
87
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Quote #1497
IB pickup line:
Baby, I'll treat you like my homework. I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Vote:
1631
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Quote #293
On SL Maths about matrices
Student 1: Do you get it?
Student 2: No...
Student 1: See the identity matrix is like a bunny on a field and then an evil inverse alien(inverse matrix) lands on the field and scares the bunny away. Do you now get it?
Student 2: Yeah... Thanks for explaining. :)
Vote:
14
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Quote #262
You only choose to do the IB for one reason.
You only have to cram once: At the end, where it all counts
Vote:
36
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Quote #233
Sometimes I wonder about German people shouting out G6 while playing battleship.
(One of my random thoughts in German class while learning letters and numbers)
Vote:
16
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Quote #239
Blackmon: ...Such as Homo erectus.
Johana: *laughs*
Blackmon: I really do not even WANT to know what you're thinking...
Johana: *laughs more*
Blackmon: Hilarious as the name is, Homo erectus was our ancestor.
Johana: Wait...what? Really?
Students: OMFG! RETARD!
Vote:
-15
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Quote #1649
IB student asks their friend's brother "Where do you go to school at?"
Friend's brother says "I be at Seminole"
IB student: "You're in IB too?"
Friend's brother: "No"
Vote:
-100
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Quote #36
Class: You know, lots of people can access that...
Mr. Belbin: I know what you guys mean, but it's not like any random Bloe Joe on the street knows how to use it.
Class: hahahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Sometimes I just don't understand you guys.
Vote:
22
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Quote #343
American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.
Vote:
23
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Quote #951
IB Courses: $2400
Exam Retakes: $600
Graphing Display Calculator: $120
English Books/Plays: $50
School Supplies: $100
TOK teaching you it was all for nothing: PRICELESS
Vote:
991
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Quote #191
"Is this side 1?"
"Of course it is, that's a f*cking unit circle."
Vote:
19
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Quote #121
Music teacher: What's one important thing you remember about Wagner?
Student: He didn't like Jewish people.
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-1
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Quote #2069
IB Biology:
"your so hot... I'd attach you to my active site anyday."
Vote:
-35
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Quote #1088
IB student: "This is your parietal bone..."
-talking to a dog while scratching its head.
Vote:
121
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Quote #1694
You know you're IB when you write a letter to the principal saying your chemistry class needs more pH meters so you can do your labs.
Vote:
150
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Quote #102
Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.
Vote:
4
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Quote #1
Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.
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289
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Quote #26
Ms. Birsan: "I was in the Romanian army, I know how to use an automatic rifle."
Vote:
14
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Quote #38
" A Wet Willy is like a French Kiss in the ear" -Chris Lee
Vote:
-132
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Quote #451
A pre-IB freshman econ class...
Teacher: SEX!
Students: *jump up*
Vote:
-36
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Quote #510
There's a reason it's called Motrin IB.
Vote:
28
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Quote #1140
Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.
Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!
IB players: what's absolute value of v?
Vote:
385
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Quote #332
How to bullshit an English Commentary:
1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.
2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.
3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.
4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.
5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!
Vote:
329
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Quote #641
(a sine and cosine maths lesson)
IB SL Maths student: Sir, when are we ever going to use this in real life?
Maths teacher: In your final exams.
*IB Student rolls eyes* Yeah but after that?
Maths Teacher: Never. You know you don't have to do it.
IB student: Really?? So why am I doing this?
Math teacher: You want to pass the IB?
IB student: Oh yeah...
Vote:
48
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Quote #681
IB a nerd today,
IB your boss tomorrow...
Vote:
409
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Quote #554
"BLECH. ACK. ARGH. DUH. These are the markbands for your TOK paper."
- TOK Teacher
Vote:
55
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Quote #1464
AP student: I went to sleep at 9:30 last night!(:
Certificate IB student: ...I went to sleep at 12:45. :/
Diploma IB student: ...Screw you! I went to sleep at 2:30 and woke up at 4:00 to finish the rest of my homework.
Vote:
685
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Quote #695
IB kids: Would all these be useful in real life?
Person 2: Yes, you will get into university so easily.
IB Kids: What about after university? Do they care?
Person 2: Ouur aim is ONLY to get you into good university. Life after is your own responsibility. It's not on the syllabus, neither on the exam.
IB Kids: What?
Vote:
53
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Quote #535
Various quotes from my TOK class discussions
Dr Davey (TOK teacher, biologist)
"Shan't, won't, that's it, I'm not dividing"- on stem cell research
"What data can you get from ten dead insects?"- on marking biology exams
"No love eminating from this patosaurus at the moment"- after being called a medium sized grey animal
"I am NOT a blur. Not even a medium sized grey blur"- still offended about the grey animal thing
"Pigeons are landing very heavily on people's heads at the moment"- going off on a tangent, methinks
"The, er, alternative gender"- talking about men and their 'merits'
Dr Davey is a very special lady. TOK lessons are fun!
Vote:
-28
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Quote #16
Vlad: Have you ever read the "Da Vinci Code"?
Jason: Did you have to read that for English?
Vlad: No... I read it for fun.
Jason: Dude what the fuck do you read books for?
Vote:
-3
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Quote #187
IB Physics Lecture: Force at a distance is "magic". Fields allow us to abstractly quantify the magic.
Student 1: Magic?
Student 2: We should remember to put that on the test.
Vote:
16
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Quote #557
Student 1: (after prattling on for almost five minutes) So as you can see, when Pedro and Juan initiate the sex, it's great. But when Rosaura starts it with Pedro, it's really bad for both of them.
Student 2: So in a 5-second summary, sex is only good when the men start it.
Guys in the class: *cheer*
Girls in the class: *glare*
Teacher: Okay, moving on...
Vote:
-10
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Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
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-10
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Quote #689
First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*
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-40
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Quote #373
English teacher:
You're not yourself in IB, you're an analyst
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14
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Quote #362
Emily L: Wow Christian, you and the animals. You're always talking about breeding turtles, and Siberian tigers, and Norwegian rabbits and--
Christian: Yeah, but there probably aren't even any rabbits in Norwegia.
Emily K and Emily L: Wait...
Vote:
-17
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Quote #937
Matrices...is that like sudoku?
Vote:
78
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Quote #1680
"Having IB friends over for supper over Easter and to do English we there watching pirates of Caribbean 1"
Jack Sparrow: Consider your own fortunes gentlemen the deepest circle of hell is reserved for traitors and mutineers.
IB Student: Oh great so that's why we don't trust each other.
Vote:
-30
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Quote #133
"A person accidentally swallows a drop of liquid oxygen..."
-IB Chemistry gas practice problem
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44
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Quote #355
IB = I Beer
IA = Internal AssAssment
EE = Extruded Essay
...
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-89
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Quote #851
Your as sweet as 3.1415926535...................
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207
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Quote #1367
IB, smart enough to get it, stupid enough to stay.
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148
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Quote #1537
Woman: So you are in IB?
IB Student: Yes
Woman: I have heard nothing but great things about IB!
IB Student: *snicker and mumbles*
Woman: What was that?
IB Student: Oh nothing.
Woman: Oh, anyways, I want to get my daughter into IB when she hits High School, what would you suggest?
*IB student and baby exchange terrified glances*
IB Student: Um...
Woman: Oh one second. I'll be right back, here watch my daughter *Hands IB Student the baby and walks away*
*IB student places baby on the ground*
IB student: RUN CHILD RUN! YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU! GO WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT LIFE!!!
Vote:
870
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Quote #381
It's Easter and the person who deals with our EE's sends an e-mail out to everyone... and it says:
"Don't over do on the EEggs!"
Clue 姐 who is reading it groans at the pun... Muse Addict who is also reading it asks:
"huh?"
Clue 姐 points out the bad joke to Muse Addict who replies:
"I thought it was a typo!"
Vote:
-10
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