Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #47

TOK Teacher/ English teacher: You guys should have wrote it down.

Vote: Yay! 22 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #377

After IB Physics is over, I will throw the textbook off a cliff and calculate the momentum when it hits the ground...

Vote: Yay! 250 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #257

Chemistry Student One: (wears flip flops in a non-lab day, but we somehow get out the chemicals anyway) Oh no! I have caustic chemicals on my toes!

Chemistry Student Two: Don't worry, the teacher's a doctor!

Dr. Helmick: Heh. Use the shower!

Vote: Yay! -3 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1814

You know your in IB when for the past four years, all the English books you have read, someone always dies...and their deaths are symbolic

Vote: Yay! 1532 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #367

Math teacher: Thou shall not spaz!

Vote: Yay! -14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #3947

You know your in the IB if your school has this traffic sign posted in the parking lot.

Caution: Kids might throw themselves in front of your car.

Vote: Yay! 1528 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #157

I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate.

Vote: Yay! 179 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #359

Math Teacher: "Lets all just pause and enjoy this moment, 'cause it's all about to go beedonk!"

Vote: Yay! -19 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1904

A WWF Representative once present their symbol to IB students.

WWF Representative: What do you see?
IB Student: It's one of Gestalt Principles, closure. That is when the viewer's perception completes a shape.

Vote: Yay! 24 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #256

Math Teacher: Seriously guys, in the long run, what's the difference between a 93 and a 95?
IB student: (in a reverent tone) Your future.

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Quote #62

ib student: to what conlusion can we reach?
ib student 2: that a dog ..... is an animal

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1902

[In IB Physics HL, discussing entropy.]

Ms. D: So, imagine that you have a layer of salt and a layer of pepper in a jar. And then you shake it all up so that it's completely mixed up! How do you separate the salt and pepper into layers again?

Preston: Easy. You can just centrifuge it. And then because of the difference of masses, the salt and pepper will separate.

Max: Or you can put a charge on a spoon and attract the pepper particles to it. And the salt won't be attracted because it's not charged... as much.

Brian: Or you can eat it!

Amanda: I think the answer you're looking for is no. It's impossible.

Ms. D: Thank you!!!

Vote: Yay! 97 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #567

Ever have those IB hell-days where you ask the voices in your head what's wrong with you and they don't know either?

Vote: Yay! 1023 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1524

IB Student 1: Did you understand a word of that math lecture?
IB Student 2: No, I was finishing the physics homework instead.
IB Student 3: Oh my god, do you understand the physics unit?!
IB Student 2: No, I was doing my math homework during the lecture.

Vote: Yay! 1907 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2089

"I like sex the way I like my endoplasmic reticulum, ROUGH"...


[group laughs]

Later: I can't believe we laughed at that. It was such a nerd joke.

Vote: Yay! 276 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #356

Tom (in English HL while working on a poetry commentary): This is the most BORING SHIT I have ever done in my whole life.
Katie: You obviously haven't started reading Virginia Woolf yet...

Vote: Yay! 28 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1907

Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='

- by Sahiti

Vote: Yay! -35 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #548

Teacher: Come hither!

Student: I'm hithering!

Vote: Yay! 186 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #925

Student 1 (Who recently got out of a relationship): You know what he said to me before? "I love you like a hydrogen loves an oxygen. They share the strongest bond."
Student 2: But remember what Hughes said? HYDROGEN BONDS ARE NOT REAL BONDS!

Vote: Yay! 235 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #614

...while studying for an IB Math SL exam...
S: ..I imagine a type of McDonald's where you drive up and ask, "Can I have a literary essay with this, this and this about this novel?"...and the dude will ask, "You want textual evidence with that?"

Vote: Yay! 157 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1312

Seven, 7, VII used to be such a simple number, and now, the very idea sends chills down spines

Vote: Yay! 225 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1960

AP students wet their pants when they see their workload.

IB students wet their pants because they have no time to go to the toilet.

Vote: Yay! 1360 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #209

GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)

Vote: Yay! -12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1870

IB - Impressive BSing.


Vote: Yay! 346 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #74

Mrs. Mahone, cherfully, in response to a complaining class:
"Welcome to IB!!!"

Vote: Yay! -27 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #598

You know you are in IB when you feel physical pain when seperated from your GDC.

Vote: Yay! 57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #86

English teacher is looking up a sex scene from Like Water For Chocolate: "Oh how ironic, its on page 69."

Half the class: "Whats so special about 69?"

Vote: Yay! 1167 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1299

During break time for IB students

Student 1: here let me try to catch that piece of cookie with my mouth
student 2: okay ready? (throws it to her face)
student 1: OMG i got it!

student 3: I want to try!
student: okay okay ready? (throws)
student 3: awh darn try again
student 2: (throws it again)
student 3: OH I GOT IT! HAHA YAAYY (claps)

this is what IB students call "so much fun"

Vote: Yay! 118 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #707

A HL and SL Biology lesson. The discussion was regarding Darwinism and the different evolution theories. An example of giraffes was used which eventually opened a window for the teacher to make a joke.

Teacher [jokingly]: ... but you see, giraffes do not have their brains situated in their head.
Class [jokingly]: No? Why?
Teacher [continues]: No, it is not practical for them to have their brain situated in their head because of their long necks. Hence why evolution decided to place their brains... in their ass. Yes students, giraffes have brains in their ass.
[a second of silence which is interrupted by Isabelle]
Isabelle [shocked by these news]: THEY DO!?
Class: [laughs]
Teacher: ... and apparently some humans as well.

Vote: Yay! 86 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #494

In HL Physics. A class of 11 students. The teacher and all the students are male except for me.

Chapter on Quantum and Nuclear Physics.

"... And so you have quarks which make up hadrons. Now, you have many different kinds of hadrons like baryons and mes--"

*genuinely puzzled* "Sir, sir, wait. I don't understand. What are *looks at notes* hard on--"
Whole class bursts into laughter. "-- I MEAN hadrons?"

'Hard on! He said hard on! AHAHA!'
'Ahaha, Jerome, you're an idiot.'
'Jerome! It's HADrons!'
'Hard on... Ahaha'
''What is a hard on'... Ahaha. You don't know what a hard on is, Jerome?'

Then they start noticing my presence and become uncomfortable.

I think I laughed the hardest.

Vote: Yay! 158 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2088

While reading Oedipus...

Teacher: So, why do you think it took the seer so long to get to Oedipus' place?
IB Student: He couldn't see.

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Quote #342

IB Student: I feel like it's an eternal battle between me and our IB Coordinator. It's like she's Andrew Jackson...and I'm Aaron Burr.

Vote: Yay! 33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #708

Biology teacher enters the class. He pulls out the brown envelope filled with marked labs.

Teacher: I must say, now I have seen everything.
Class: ?
Teacher: [writes on board the word peacock] What is this?
Class: [simultaneously] It's a bird. A peacock.
Teacher: Mhm. Isabelle, would you care to explain what you wrote?
Isabelle: Oh...
Teacher [turns to the class and writes on the board]: This lady wrote "pee-cock". Sexual frustration can get to you.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1391

IB coordinator and history teacher: World leaders are just like people: they make bad mistakes. Sometimes you gotta own up to your bad call. Ever made a decision where you looked back and you were like 'God, why did I make that decision? What possessed me to think that was a good idea!?'

Student: Yeah. Getting into IB.

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Quote #1121

There are two certainties in life. Death and taxes.
There are two certainties in IB. Insanity and homework.

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #360

New IB Student: How the hell do you survive this place?!

Student in second last IB year: Forget all you know about survival... I live off energy drinks, caffeine and grades... Sleep becomes a myth.

Vote: Yay! 131 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #390

"Welcome to IB History, you are all in deep shiiit"
-IB History Teacher

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Quote #465

4.6 GPA IB Student: How do you spell 'tuesday'?

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Quote #706

In ToK Class talking about the Butterfly effect.

ToK Teacher: So the butterfly effect is the theory that when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a hurricane.

*Two Girls flap their arms*

ToK Teacher: Are you MOCKING me?

Girls: No, we're being butterflies of death!

Vote: Yay! 72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1655

IB homework is like erectile dysfunction - you keep telling yourself that everyone is having the same problems as you.


Vote: Yay! 386 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #249

TOK teacher: "The most disruptive member of society is the male member."

Vote: Yay! 42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #144

A two-carbon thing (acetyl group) and a four-carbon thing (citric acid) make a 6-carbon thing
-web site our teacher told us to use as a reference for our IB Bio work

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Quote #1332

Non-IB Student: What do you have today?
IB Student: I've got math and physics first, then french and history. Then I've got my three hours of volunteering over at the hospital and a 2 hour musical rehearsal tonight. what about you?
Non-IB Student: I've got 2 frees, art, and gym

Vote: Yay! 337 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1593

In TOK class

"Is it true that if all of the chinese people jump at the same time, the earth will shake?

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Quote #898

You fought in Iraq? That's nothing, I did IB.

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Quote #1163

You know you're in IB when you eat 3 pints of ice cream in one sitting because you dropped 1 down in the rankings

Vote: Yay! 85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #585

Standard teacher walks into IB Classroom to talk to IB teacher.
Standard teacher: Man, these kids look tired.
IB Teacher: Seeing a well-rested IB student is like seeing a unicorn.

Vote: Yay! 1489 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #3

In IB we don't believe in miracles... We rely on them!

Vote: Yay! 2426 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #212

Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #363

AP/IB Calculus teacher, in an attempt to "engage us":
WHERE DID PI GO? We've been *doing* pi all morning! But this isn't a disc, this isn't a circle. It's a triangle--YA KNOW?

Vote: Yay! -31 Nay! | Permalink