Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #537

You know you've had enough of IB English when you express your heartbreak by giving its parallel situation in A Yellow Raft in Blue Water.

Vote: Yay! 28 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #40

Naomi: Guys the end of the play says that, "I'd rather be dead than fat.......that's heavy"

Vote: Yay! -39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #128

So you're up at 2:00 AM finishing that project and you go to get your fifth cup of coffee. You add the almond flavoring and for a brief second you wish it was cyanide.

The fantasy comes to an abrupt halt when you are alive three seconds later and have to go back to the project.

Vote: Yay! 171 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1711

IB Student touches something hot: OW! Get it off! Get it off! Gosh darn it, I can feel my enzymes denaturing!

Vote: Yay! 522 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #135

"We are living in a land of opportunity. We're practically swimming in fields of singles ready to mingle."
- Mark (on a conversation with Lauren about 3rd world countries and Lavalife)

Vote: Yay! -32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #75

Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?

French Teacher: Umm, let me check.

Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?

French Teacher: Well, I forgot.

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #347

"An economics lesson is like a current account... You get little or no interest."
- Economics teacher

Vote: Yay! 58 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1264

SL & HL Biology class.
Topic was ecology and energy flow in a food web.

Teacher:
"So if we have 14 tons of vegetables and a mutant mouse eats them all you get 10% energy going to the mouse and 90% is lost. If an elephant then eats the mouse it gets 10% energy and 90% is lost. A Dragon might then eat the elephant and if this happens it will get 10% energy and 90% is lost. Now, if we choose to make Dragon meat-stakes, how many stakes would we get?"

The answer was 40 Dragon meat-stakes. He then proceeded to ensure that we wouldn´t use this magnificent example in the finals.

Vote: Yay! -15 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2035

You know you're in IB when you psychodynamically analyse your classmates TOK doodles.

Vote: Yay! 181 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #19

Mr. Oliver: I want everyone to give me an example of when you know a fact is true, but don't believe it.

Jany: I know I'm smart, but I don't believe it.

Vote: Yay! 369 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #308

IB student: So yesterday was the worst day of my life.

Honors student: What? Oh my goodness! What happened, are you ok?

IB student: Oh yeah, when you are in IB the worst day in your life happens, like everday.

Vote: Yay! 224 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1833

you know there's got to be something wrong with IB when:

1. you're at a party and you think, "this sucks, I could be doing homework right now!"

2.you argue with teachers over a 99

3.you view lunch as a short nap

Vote: Yay! 1059 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #526

The fact that we have a website dedicated to supposedly funny yet brilliant and sometimes obvious quotes, all in honor of IB, basically proves the point of IB; there isn't one.

Vote: Yay! 767 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #68

“Imagination, initiative and creativity are not required and will be severely punished. This is the IB!” - History Teacher, HL revision session.

Vote: Yay! 65 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1843

IB is finally worth it when you realize that the question prompt on the History paper 2 exam is the same exact thing you wrote your History IA on.

Vote: Yay! 239 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1493

Two ib students talking about something not school related. Ib student 1: thats like the complete opposite of what ur saying it's like a reciprocal ib student 2: your moms a reciprocal.

Vote: Yay! -151 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #280

Madeline: Chemistry makes me want to take a shot of H2SO4.

Vote: Yay! 75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1254

(IB Student comes homes after a long week is school, stumbling around and not speaking coherently)

IB Student's Mom: Have you been drinking or something?!
IB Student: Physics quiz.
IB Student's Mother: Ohhh, okay.

Vote: Yay! 250 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1418

You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.

Vote: Yay! 507 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1170

HL Bio teacher: I'm not going to tell you the answers. I want you to suffer.
IB Student: It's like survival of the fittest!
Ex-IB Student: Except no one survives!

Vote: Yay! 171 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #205

A Math teacher at RHS:

Biologists think they're chemists
Chemists think they're physicists
Physicists think they're God BUT
God thinks he's a mathematician!

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1950

Student: I wish you would conserve paper more, you don't have to hurt the trees!
Teacher: Well, "teacher" is derived from the Portuguese word for "tree-killer."
Student: Really???
Teacher: No. But I do plant a tree for every thousand papers I use.
Student: Really???
Teacher: No!!

Vote: Yay! 112 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1960

AP students wet their pants when they see their workload.

IB students wet their pants because they have no time to go to the toilet.

Vote: Yay! 1358 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #951

IB Courses: $2400
Exam Retakes: $600
Graphing Display Calculator: $120
English Books/Plays: $50
School Supplies: $100

TOK teaching you it was all for nothing: PRICELESS

Vote: Yay! 2119 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #436

String CompSciDossier = Lame;

if (Dossier = "completeBeforeItsDueOnFriday")
{
System.out.println("miracle")
}

for (int today = 1, today <= Friday, today++)
{
Sleep = 0;
}

Vote: Yay! 73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1038

IB 1: Man! I studied so hard for that Chemistry Test.
IB 2: Oh so you studied in the shower too?
IB 1: WHAT?!?! how do you do that?
IB 2: You put your notes into those clear plastic envelope things and tape it to you shower wall.

Vote: Yay! 907 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #337

IB Co-ordinator: If you really want to you can read the Harry Potter books as a Creativity for CAS.

Student: Can that count as Service?

Vote: Yay! 115 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #187

IB Physics Lecture: Force at a distance is "magic". Fields allow us to abstractly quantify the magic.
Student 1: Magic?
Student 2: We should remember to put that on the test.

Vote: Yay! 34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1421

On an IB class hoodie (with picture of an iPod with real song names):

"iBod:
CAScada - What hurts the most
EEls - I need some sleep
T.O.K. - Unknown language
WestLife - Maybe tomorrow
IAn van dahl - Will I?
G4 - Everybody hurts"

Vote: Yay! 294 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #292

IB Physics pick-up line: Are you infrared? Because girl, you're giving off heat!

Vote: Yay! 99 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #419

Said while doing Astrophysics and looking at how large the universe is:

"I feel so small! I mean there's no one for miles!!"

Vote: Yay! 1 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #450

Found this on my Facebook wall:

"I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE HISTORY STUDYING OMG. Last night I studied so much that I dreamed I was married to Stalin but then he killed me in the gulag!!!"

Vote: Yay! 705 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1278

Chuck Norris got a 50 in IB
Thats right, a 50
And he did 9 HL subjects
You heard me


-Ben Cole, Queensland Academy of Health Sciences

Vote: Yay! 148 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #306

Teacher: Guys, be quiet. The seniors are giving orals in the closet.
Class: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Vote: Yay! 962 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #426

The ultimate geek joke:

Paddy: Can you tell the difference between a gas and a plasma just by looking?

James: I dunno. I guess not. They'd probably look the same.

Paddy: Ohhh...... (makes flapping movements in the direction of James)

James: Ahhh! Paddy's throwing ions at me!

Yingke: Shouldn't you be dead?

James: Apparently not.

Vote: Yay! -16 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #233

Sometimes I wonder about German people shouting out G6 while playing battleship.

(One of my random thoughts in German class while learning letters and numbers)

Vote: Yay! 32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #578

IB Student: So, I broke up with my boyfriend last night.
Non-IB Student: Aww, that's terrible.
IB Student: Yeah... but it's okay. It would never have worked anyway; I'm IB, he's AP.
Non-IB Student: ...Uh okay.

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #362

Emily L: Wow Christian, you and the animals. You're always talking about breeding turtles, and Siberian tigers, and Norwegian rabbits and--
Christian: Yeah, but there probably aren't even any rabbits in Norwegia.
Emily K and Emily L: Wait...

Vote: Yay! -24 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #118

Video in history: In Japan at the time, the philosophy was "American things, Japanese ideals"

Student: Now it's the other way around...

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Quote #437

History Teacher: What comes to mind when talking about China?
IB Student: Fung shway?
History Teacher: What's that?
IB Student: The concept of selling crappy quality card tables to westerners.

Vote: Yay! 38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #376

(While talking about IB English Y1 books)
Student 1: These are all so depressing! All of them end in death!
Student 2: Seems appropriate, it's just like IB!

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Quote #400

If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year...

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Quote #1527

Ravneet - I hate "ibquotes.com". The jokes aren't even funny. Gabi laughs at them...
Merrideth - You just don't get it because you're stupid.
Ravneet - Then how did I get into IB?
Merrideth - The IB program is also stupid.
Ravneet - You're in the IB program...
Merrideth - My parents made me. That makes sense because they are stupid, too.
Ravneet - You've got a point...
Merrideth - Why are you calling my parents STUPID?

Vote: Yay! -545 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1337

History pun: When it comes to height, South Koreans have an inch off.

Vote: Yay! -123 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1098

IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.

I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.

Vote: Yay! 708 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #657

Teacher: "What is the main cause of deforestation?"

Students: *Lifts up their homework*

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Quote #992

Dad: Water is an amazing substance, have you ever wondered why ice cubes float in water, even though they're made out of water?

IB student: Well that's because there are tiny air bubbles trapped within them...

Sister: HA! YOU'VE JUST BEEN IB'D

Vote: Yay! 100 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1273

You know you're in IB when you're given an extended lunch break and when the bell rings you start wondering what you could be doing in class.

Vote: Yay! 49 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #937

Matrices...is that like sudoku?

Vote: Yay! 112 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #564

Non-IB student: "So, how's your social life?"
IB student: "Hold on, how do you spell that? S-o-c-i-a-l. What's that?"
Non-IB student: "You know, you hang out with friends...do fun stuff...."
IB student: "Wow that sounds amazing! What class did you learn that in?"

Vote: Yay! 288 Nay! | Permalink