Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #1109

IB has taught me many useful things in terms of multitasking and time management. Only in IB are you capable of crying while finishing your IA and not only be able to see the paper perfectly, but not get a single tear on the page because you don't have time to redo it.

Vote: Yay! 340 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1180

IB there for I think
I think there for I drink
...hahahaah yeah in my abundent spare time!!

Vote: Yay! -111 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1566

Only in I.B., at T.O.K. night class

Teacher: You guys are now the only 29 students on campus who can log into school computers after 5 p.m.! Now that's something to brag about

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Quote #476

On quote #236

What about the other 1000?

Vote: Yay! -44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #50

I absolutely HATE all people who have biased opinions.

Vote: Yay! 107 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #218

Student to Maths Teacher: It's just so confusing! I hate maths, I mean how do you explain... THIS!? (holds up calculator)

Maths Teacher: Your calculator's switched off?

Student: %*^#

Vote: Yay! 134 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #170

IB, I'm Better.

Vote: Yay! 41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2112

If you think you're doing IB you're wrong; IB is doing you!

Vote: Yay! 79 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #527

Two IB students are washing a car for charity

Student 1: Ah, the windows keep getting white marks all over them
Student 2: Yeah, it's really streaky

Student 2 looks at the windows and wipes hand across it. White mark disappears

Student 1: Oh...
Student 2: See, that works. I'll just give all the windows a hand job

Student 1 raises eyebrows and then student 2 realises what she's said.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2089

"I like sex the way I like my endoplasmic reticulum, ROUGH"...


[group laughs]

Later: I can't believe we laughed at that. It was such a nerd joke.

Vote: Yay! 277 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #219

Thelma after dropping out of IB

Thelma: Hey, I can't stand Math Studies anymore, that's why I dropped out .

Student: Wow that sucks.

Thelma: Yeah, and I heard that AP Geometry and AP Algebra at my friend's school are so much easier.

Student: -_-

Vote: Yay! -37 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #900

Email from an IB teacher:

"Hi all,
I have had a couple of emails and conversations regarding progress on your EE.

Those of you that have sent me the outline - well done.
Those of you that have had a conversation, fine - but I still need the written outline.
Those of you that have done neither will, of course, burn in hell."

Vote: Yay! 348 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #217

Light is a wave on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and a particle on every other day! WTF?

Vote: Yay! -24 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #157

I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate.

Vote: Yay! 179 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #457

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep

... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2

Vote: Yay! 485 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1088

IB student: "This is your parietal bone..."

-talking to a dog while scratching its head.

Vote: Yay! 182 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #322

(French teacher passes out French test)
(Class realizes they have already taken this test)

Student 1: Madame, we've already taken this test.
Student 2: Yeah, it was our midterm.
(Class murmurs sounds of agreement)
Teacher: Oh, you're so picky, just take it.

Vote: Yay! 61 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #989

i love the depth of ToK :P

"Arts is completly subjective
-> Picaso's art looks like trash to normal people but is priceless to those who like trash"

(my friend's actual notes for our upcoming presentation on ways of knowing through observation)

Vote: Yay! 87 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #274

IB English Class

Teacher's advice to students: So when you're home alone practice your oral on your dog...
Students: That's what she said...

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Quote #923

Dear Quote 717,
We are nerds. Whether voluntary or not, being in IB automatically makes us this way.

Vote: Yay! 81 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #708

Biology teacher enters the class. He pulls out the brown envelope filled with marked labs.

Teacher: I must say, now I have seen everything.
Class: ?
Teacher: [writes on board the word peacock] What is this?
Class: [simultaneously] It's a bird. A peacock.
Teacher: Mhm. Isabelle, would you care to explain what you wrote?
Isabelle: Oh...
Teacher [turns to the class and writes on the board]: This lady wrote "pee-cock". Sexual frustration can get to you.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #86

English teacher is looking up a sex scene from Like Water For Chocolate: "Oh how ironic, its on page 69."

Half the class: "Whats so special about 69?"

Vote: Yay! 1166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #416

During a year 11 TOK class

“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”
Bertrand Russell (1917)

Student: Oh great, another pointless part of TOK.

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #312

IB Coordinator: After you finish your Extended Essay, you will have put about 40 hours of work into it.

Student: Do we get CAS hours?

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Quote #484

Student 1: Relativity makes no sense.
Student 2: In comparison to what?

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Quote #1838

Those who aren't in IB may make jokes about those of us who are, but we are a cult. This means that when we vote on, say, senior superlatives, IB kids will vote for IB kids therefore over ruling everyone else's vote.

Vote: Yay! 256 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1998

You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.

IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #624

IB Student 1: So have you been watching "Project Runway"?
IB Student 2: No, I swore off TV when my Chem grade dropped to an A minus. How do you have time to watch TV?
IB Student 1: I'm telling you, TiVo was invented for IB students.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1227

Non-IB: Did you watch House last night?
IB Kid: I don't watch TV anymore.
Non-IB: No way! In middle school, you were like a TV officianado or something.
IN Kid: I gave it up cold turkey for IB.

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #409

IB Bio teacher: So in a few weeks, the cats will be delivered and we will be dissecting them.
Christian: omg! could you like, put a surprise into each cat?
Chris: Yeah! Like a lollipop or something?
IB Bio teacher: yeah! I'll sit in my classroom all day opening up cats and putting in little toys!
Half the class: REALLY?
IB Bio teacher: NO.
Class: *disappointment*

Vote: Yay! 199 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #223

Discussing a valentines day party:

English Teacher: So if you bring valentines, bring one for everyone. I don't want one kid getting none and another getting 5.

Michael: But that's reality!

English Teacher: Be quiet Michael, I'm doing you a favor. You won't get any anyways.

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Quote #997

IB Seniors: So what forced you to take the IB?
Me: Nothing, I CHOSE to take it.
IB Seniors: Well, then you're fucking stupid.

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Quote #2078

IB Math student: Hey guys! I have a math joke for you
students: go ahead!
IB Math Student: Why did sine and cosine go to the beach?TO GET A TAN!

Vote: Yay! 326 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #617

Who will do well in IB?
Those who like BS

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Quote #208

Geography Teacher: Why is deforestation such a problem?

Student: Because people are cutting down trees


Teacher: Yes, because the word deforestation means to cut down trees. But why are people cutting down trees?

Student: Because they have nothing better to do.

*Cue even more laughter*

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1019

Apple's Latest: The iB. DESCRIPTION: Does not require food or water, just a steady supply of caffeine. CAUTION: Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight. Comes in pale pale pale pale white only. Sleep not included. Money back guarantee if it doesn't get past Freshman year. SIDE EFFECTS: aching back; enormous backpacks; stunted growth (NOT due to caffeine but from heavy backpack); NERDY, not dirty, thoughts; hair loss; hair growth; may crash when overloaded with work; may randomly put Wagner operas or attempt to sing one-man madrigals; may speak in a long line of symbols.

Vote: Yay! 323 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1954

Only in IB is the threat:
"I'll smash your graphing calculator!"
More effective than a gun to th head.

Vote: Yay! 752 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #129

IB kids are basically super human. We can run on as little as one meal and four hours of sleep a day for a duration of two weeks.

Vote: Yay! 723 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1386

Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.

Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.

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Quote #1301

The International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma Programme is a challenging two-year curriculum, primarily aimed at students aged 16 to 19. It leads to a qualification that is widely recognized by the world’s leading universities.

Students learn more than a collection of facts. The Diploma Programme prepares students for university and encourages them to:

* ask challenging questions
* learn how to learn
* develop a strong sense of their own identity and culture
* develop the ability to communicate with and understand people from other countries and cultures.


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Quote #405

How do you even have time to read this ?

Vote: Yay! 2994 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1689

It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping.... LET'S GO TO THE LIBRARY!!!

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Quote #490

<<00XXXX-XX>> My number of convict
<<00XXXX-XX>> Mi número de presidario

Vote: Yay! 19 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2061

IB Student in his Valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony:

"Looking back on IB, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Harvard without it. I plan on studying molecular biology, and Harvard has one of the best molecular biology programs in the world, and with this first-class education I hope to one day cure cancer. So if you think about it, my participation in the IB program could save millions of lives, and I guess my sanity was a fair price to pay over these past four years for that possibility. Although I do wish I didn't have to make the choice.

Vote: Yay! 396 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1701

You decide to laminate your review sheet to study in the shower.

Vote: Yay! 2097 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #172

During a TOK discussion

Student 1: I believe that opinions don't matter.
Student 2: So what you just said doesn't matter?

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Quote #590

Student: Teacher, when will we get our tests back from 2 weeks ago?
Teacher: You students, don't you realize that it's because of you students that i get so stressed?? I have to teach you everyday and i even have to mark your papers! No, never ask me this again. I will give you you're papers back when i want to.
Students: Well, how many have you started marking?
Teacher: As i said, i'm a very stressed and busy woman. So i have only marked 5.
Student: Teacher, then what should i do if i have to study for 5 tests, do 4 assignments, 2 projects, and 2 presentations?
Teacher: Well then, that's you're problem.

Vote: Yay! 42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1863

"How do you even have time to read this ?" do you even have time to write that?

Vote: Yay! 1329 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #592

In elementary, staying up after 8 was unheard of
In JH, staying up after 12 was abnormal
In pre-IB staying up after 3am is common
In IB doing all nighters is part of your daily life

Vote: Yay! 167 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #229

"Wait... Who was the king between King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 16th?"

Vote: Yay! 53 Nay! | Permalink