Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #1656

I was planning on dropping IB, but as it turns out I procrastinated on that too.

Vote: Yay! 1436 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2810

IB teacher: does anyone know why we have a double sphincter in the anus?

IB student: so nothing will go up your ass?

IB teacher: ...no, i'm pretty sure you can make things go up your anus if you try hard enough

Vote: Yay! -673 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1086

Math teacher passes out a piece of paper that says, "The Big Three"

Student: Oh, look! It's Clemenceau! And Lloyd George and Woodrow Wilson!
Math Teacher: Actually, I was referring to the three major car companies in Detroit...

Vote: Yay! 50 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #191

"Is this side 1?"

"Of course it is, that's a f*cking unit circle."

Vote: Yay! 28 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #783

HL bio teacher on prokaryotes: SO what do we know about these kinds of cells? They are the STRIPPERS of the CELL WORLD!!! You know why? Because they have NAKED DNA *starts humming a stripper sounding song* .. and what shape do they have? a COIL.. around BALLS! because they're attracted to BALLS, these naked DNA! are what? STRIPPERS OF THE CELL WORLD :)

class: O_O

Vote: Yay! 62 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2024

you know you're in IB when you find the quotes on this website better than those on fmylife.com

Vote: Yay! 1501 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1593

In TOK class

"Is it true that if all of the chinese people jump at the same time, the earth will shake?

Vote: Yay! 288 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #12

Carson: Pacman is so hard, im almost dead! How do I get a life?
Lucas: Stop playing.

Vote: Yay! 241 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #416

During a year 11 TOK class

“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”
Bertrand Russell (1917)

Student: Oh great, another pointless part of TOK.

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #502

Non IB student: DBQ....a barbeque for people with D's?

IB student: NO, no, no. It's an essay or personal written source where we gather information from a specific historic document, photgraph, piece of art, or book. You then take every little bit and detail and carefully analyze it until you can't go any further in depth. You then present in a carefully written essay that demonstrates your understanding and depiction of the document or source.

Non-IB student: What the fuck are you on?

Vote: Yay! 122 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #133

"A person accidentally swallows a drop of liquid oxygen..."
-IB Chemistry gas practice problem

Vote: Yay! 77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #639

Since you are procrastinating anyway, do the following drawing that was presented to the BSRJ History HL students by the very talented Mr. Nash ("talented" was not sarcastic, he's awesome):

1. Draw a circle and call it Germany.
2. Draw another circle right underneath it and call it Austria.
3. Erase the junction to form a butt-looking Anschluss.
4. Draw a long horizontal cylindric/oval shape with one end (western border, i.e. left end) touching the junction and call it Czechoslovakia.
5. Outline the left tip of Czechoslovakia and call it the Sudetenland.
6. Now, draw a small horizontal line through the Sudetenland to indicate the path of the troops.

Can you believe this map was drawn accidentally?

Vote: Yay! 10 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #198

During a review period in English class.

IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1067

Selling for Bead for Life...

Alanah: "Okay Michael, so you need to bring money to buy necklaces for your mom and female relatives."
Michael: "...Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Alanah: "No, but we do!"
Michael: "Wtf."

Patricia: "Cathy, tell Mr. Ha we got more beads so he can buy something for his wife for Christmas!"
Cathy: "Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Patricia: "..." Thinking: That phrase is overused.
Cathy: "Okay fine."

She never told him anything.

Vote: Yay! -110 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1881

my Cold War essay topic is possitive and negative effects of the Cold War, i came up with...
positive: its over
negative: we have to write essays about it

Vote: Yay! 158 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1342

IB coordinator:
"okay everyone, its time to start thinking about titles for your EE"
IB student:
"will that count for CAS hours?"

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #430

Chemistry Teacher: (writes an equation on the board including around 2 tons of carbon)

Student 1: (Reads equation) That's a whole lot of carbon!!
Student 2: You're a whole lot of carbon!!

Vote: Yay! 40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #692

Non IB kids see "TV" and think of the distance between them, their television, and the remote.
An IB kid sees "TV" and thinks of the distance formula.

Vote: Yay! 55 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #928

(IB Students are discussing upcoming field trip to Presidential Inauguration in January)

Teacher coordinating fiedl trip: It will be really cold, guys. You may be standing outside for five hours in 10 degree weather.
Student: Can we get action hours for that?

Vote: Yay! 143 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #294

Math Class:

Teacher: So class, what's different about today's note?

Student: OH! I KNOW! The unit title has a bubble around it, usually, it has a box, and only the lesson title has a bubble!

Teacher: Right! Good work!

Vote: Yay! 66 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #305

(IB Student's Mom is looking at his progress report)

Mom: You have a D in English!
Student: Yeah, I know. It's okay.
Mom: It is?!
Student: Yeah, everyone else has a D too.

Vote: Yay! 791 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1372

The only way to pass ToK is to prove it does not exist.

Vote: Yay! 1199 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #391

What does IB mean?

Internal Bullshit!

Vote: Yay! -22 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #238

Blackmon: The district has never done anything right! Hello, the FCRAP?!?!
Johana: The what?
Blackmon: FCRAP?
Johana: Don't you mean the FCAT?
Blackmon: Wow! REALLY? *sighs*

Vote: Yay! -24 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2109

Most recent jokes ive heard ..

IB student - "your mums so fat she causes dark flow"

A level student - "wht do women call it PMT.

As mad cow desease was already taken"...

Seriously... we can see a distinct differnce :P

Vote: Yay! -279 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #27

Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.

Vote: Yay! 466 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #107

[Imperial March Theme Song]

Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...

[Strangling]

Vote: Yay! -18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #611

(students talking excitedly in Bio Class)
Bio Teacher: i just finished grading your cell test...

complete silence...

(Non-IB teacher walks by...)
Non-IB teacher: i wonder how he commands so much respect from his students..."confused look"

Vote: Yay! 75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1102

Non-IB student: Get a life...

IB stident: Are you implying I have the time?

Vote: Yay! 1014 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #223

Discussing a valentines day party:

English Teacher: So if you bring valentines, bring one for everyone. I don't want one kid getting none and another getting 5.

Michael: But that's reality!

English Teacher: Be quiet Michael, I'm doing you a favor. You won't get any anyways.

Vote: Yay! 184 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1536

Student 1: Wow, so you go to my school?
Student 2: Yes, have been for the past two years.
Student 1: How come I have never seen you before?
Student 2: I am in IB.
Student 1: O.O Enough said.

Vote: Yay! 492 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #112

Student 1: Hey! I've got a brilliant EE topic!
Student 2: Ah-uhm...
Student 1: It will be: Oedipus, the original motherfucker...
Student 2: ...

Vote: Yay! 731 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #429

Who built the ToK ArK?

Knower!

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1916

you know youre in IB when you start reading your ToK essay just for fun, and then try to think of an argument against it.

MRB-peru

Vote: Yay! 250 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #163

I want to commit suicide, but I'm too busy doing the IB.

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #409

IB Bio teacher: So in a few weeks, the cats will be delivered and we will be dissecting them.
Christian: omg! could you like, put a surprise into each cat?
Chris: Yeah! Like a lollipop or something?
IB Bio teacher: yeah! I'll sit in my classroom all day opening up cats and putting in little toys!
Half the class: REALLY?
IB Bio teacher: NO.
Class: *disappointment*

Vote: Yay! 198 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #451

A pre-IB freshman econ class...

Teacher: SEX!
Students: *jump up*

Vote: Yay! -41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1439

Non-IB: So, how do you think you'll do on the IB exams?
IB: Well, I think I'll probably pass. I just have to study 4 hours each day.

Vote: Yay! -140 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #960

IB student: I had a dream the other night that I came to school without pants. Then the next day I came to school missing an arm. The third day I came to school without my homework and my dad came in and woke me up because I was screaming so loudly.

Vote: Yay! 729 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #711

The real purpose of the IB student is to develop masochism.

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #352

IB Student: It took me 12 weeks to do my Research Paper for Inquiry Skills!
Non IB Student: How come?
IB Student: Well, it took 6 weeks for my Thesis Statement. 5 weeks and a half for my outline. Then half a week to write it! All the while doing research!
Non IB Student: What was the paper on?
IB Student: I have no idea....

Vote: Yay! 79 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #209

GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)

Vote: Yay! -12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #393

"You shall not pass"
-Gandalf on IB

Vote: Yay! 2103 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #504

IB math, you only get it after the test!

Vote: Yay! 464 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #463

Quote on an IB teacher's webpage:

All's fair in love and finals.

Vote: Yay! 147 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #156

This occurred randomly while walking through the mall.

IB Student: *pointing at other person's feet* Are those really actual shoes??

Vote: Yay! -41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2084

IB - the only place where a B stands for "below average"

Vote: Yay! 294 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2098

You know you're in IB when you're in a technology store and you yell 'Oooh, books!'

Vote: Yay! 119 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #157

I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate.

Vote: Yay! 179 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #681

IB a nerd today,
IB your boss tomorrow...

Vote: Yay! 1005 Nay! | Permalink