Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #274

IB English Class

Teacher's advice to students: So when you're home alone practice your oral on your dog...
Students: That's what she said...

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Quote #352

IB Student: It took me 12 weeks to do my Research Paper for Inquiry Skills!
Non IB Student: How come?
IB Student: Well, it took 6 weeks for my Thesis Statement. 5 weeks and a half for my outline. Then half a week to write it! All the while doing research!
Non IB Student: What was the paper on?
IB Student: I have no idea....

Vote: Yay! 79 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1175

Grace: "Okay so how many labs can we do in the next two years?"
Biology Teacher: "Well, we could do this, this, and this, and... if other ideas... brain unit... and conditioned the cats..." *continues on tangent for about ten minutes*
Grace: "Okay wait so what was the answer to how many labs?"

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Quote #1075


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Quote #29

Physics student: Hey I heard you can use an automatic rifle!

Mrs. Birsan (physics teacher): Yeah, but I won't use it on anyone... well maybe when someone doesn't do their homework...

Physics student: Eeks! That's some good motivation!

Mrs. Birsan: No, then I could shoot myself due to the frustration. What were YOU thinking?

Vote: Yay! 142 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #992

Dad: Water is an amazing substance, have you ever wondered why ice cubes float in water, even though they're made out of water?

IB student: Well that's because there are tiny air bubbles trapped within them...


Vote: Yay! 100 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1260

IB is like Miley Cyrus.
Seems to be the Finest
Promoted to be the best.

But is just really a snobby little bitch.

by Makku Choo

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #329

French Teacher: Okay, the verb "soigner" means "to take care of".

French Teacher: Lets practice.

French Teacher: Est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Jane: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Marcus, est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?

Marcus: Oui, je soigne mon chat.

French Teacher: Et toi, Emile, est-ce que to soigne ton chat?

Emile: Oui, je soigne ma chat!

*Class laughs*

Marcus: Emile, we don't need to know what you do with your pussy..

Vote: Yay! 63 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #776

The Five Stages of Death:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

The Five Stages of IB:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

Vote: Yay! 170 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #466

Physics Teacher: Now imagine a pink fluffy cloud at the back of the room. Now imagine that there are ping-pong balls being thrown into the cloud. That's how particles work!

Class: WTF???

Vote: Yay! 73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #605

rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...

Vote: Yay! -105 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #495

Chemistry Teacher: ...then we will have to add HCl

Jason: What's HCl again?

James: It's Highly Concentrated Liquid, dumbass!

Jason: Ooh, ok....*writes down*

Vote: Yay! 152 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #230

I BS CAS hours!

Vote: Yay! -42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #501

IB, where three hours is too much sleep.

Vote: Yay! 339 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #783

HL bio teacher on prokaryotes: SO what do we know about these kinds of cells? They are the STRIPPERS of the CELL WORLD!!! You know why? Because they have NAKED DNA *starts humming a stripper sounding song* .. and what shape do they have? a COIL.. around BALLS! because they're attracted to BALLS, these naked DNA! are what? STRIPPERS OF THE CELL WORLD :)

class: O_O

Vote: Yay! 62 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #497

After months of envying the IB Enviromental Systems Kid's easy course work, Us IB Physics kids finally had something to hold over them:

Rocket Launching!!!!!

Vote: Yay! 89 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #414

You know you're in IB when you can see individual air molecules vibrating

Vote: Yay! 44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1228

In IB, we start to forget grade school knowledge.

IB Student: Wait, caterpillars and butterflies are related?

Vote: Yay! 186 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #377

After IB Physics is over, I will throw the textbook off a cliff and calculate the momentum when it hits the ground...

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Quote #811

Girl: I love you more than I love the air I breathe. Beat that.
Guy: Well, I love you more than a hydrogen loves an oxygen. That's the strongest bond.

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Quote #2100

IB: when the best part of your waking day is going outside,

of course, this is only ever on your way to or from school.

Vote: Yay! 170 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #36

Class: You know, lots of people can access that...

Mr. Belbin: I know what you guys mean, but it's not like any random Bloe Joe on the street knows how to use it.

Class: hahahahaha!!

Mr. Belbin: Sometimes I just don't understand you guys.

Vote: Yay! 33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #577

Honors Student: So, what did you do for your birthday?
IB Student: A chemistry formal lab write-up.
Honors Student: Well, did you do anything fun?
IB Student: Yes, I managed to get to bed before midnight. It was wonderful.

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Quote #553

"It's illegal to show this to you but I don't really care. I taped it off the TV and I'll do it again."

- IB English Teacher

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Quote #2029

You KNOW your in IB when its the first day of summer vacation and your stressing about the classes you're going to take next year.

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Quote #457

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep

... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: Yay! -53 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #8

IB is a very religious program... everyone think he's God.

Vote: Yay! 82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1531

Teacher: What do you know?
Students: Nothing
Teacher: What dont you know?
Students: everything
Teacher: What have you learned?
Students: WAIT we were learning.

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Quote #2036

You know your IB when you start insulting each other with genetic disorders.

HAHA! You have Kleinfelters!!!!

Vote: Yay! 282 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2109

Most recent jokes ive heard ..

IB student - "your mums so fat she causes dark flow"

A level student - "wht do women call it PMT.

As mad cow desease was already taken"...

Seriously... we can see a distinct differnce :P

Vote: Yay! -279 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #707

A HL and SL Biology lesson. The discussion was regarding Darwinism and the different evolution theories. An example of giraffes was used which eventually opened a window for the teacher to make a joke.

Teacher [jokingly]: ... but you see, giraffes do not have their brains situated in their head.
Class [jokingly]: No? Why?
Teacher [continues]: No, it is not practical for them to have their brain situated in their head because of their long necks. Hence why evolution decided to place their brains... in their ass. Yes students, giraffes have brains in their ass.
[a second of silence which is interrupted by Isabelle]
Isabelle [shocked by these news]: THEY DO!?
Class: [laughs]
Teacher: ... and apparently some humans as well.

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Quote #287

Chemistry HL Teacher: The mole is your God.

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #272

"I've had some physics students whose teachers have told them there is no negative time... that, of course, is crap."

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Quote #406

I want to B ... dead

Vote: Yay! -44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2114

in IB calculators learn to fly!

Vote: Yay! -52 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1540

Tell a man about IB, and you hurt him for a day. Teach a man the IB, and you scar him for a lifetime.

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Quote #11

Mickelli: I'm too pretty to get a job, I'll break my nails, my skin will dry up, my hair will get messed...

Vote: Yay! -354 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1250

Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.

Vote: Yay! 677 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1546

IB Student to her aunt: I can't talk right now, this is IB hell week.
Aunt: I hate to break this to you, but real life is harder than highschool.
(IB Student laughs hysterically)

Vote: Yay! 3220 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1216

IB is the only place in the world that you can go to everyone you know and ask, "Wanna help me practice my oral?"
and get a resounding No.

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Quote #719

Ever wondered if you could count banging your head against the wall as action hours?

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Quote #680

Physics teacher: Who knows what the largest star is?
Rory: oh yeah I know this one, pretty sure I saw it last night.
Physics Teahcer: uh Rory that was the moon.
Rory: :O sir, no it wasn't was bigger than that
Physics teacher: the sun then?

Vote: Yay! -26 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #583

(All students in following quote are in IB)
(Two days after exams finished)

Anya: Where's Maylie?
Oliver: She's in the hospital. Went into anaphylactic shock this morning.
Anya: Oh my god, why?!
Oliver: She realized she didn't have any work to do.

Vote: Yay! 174 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #927

Click on the up/plus button if you should be doing some kind of homework right now. Click on the down/minus button, if you actually don't have any homework...haha, yeah right.

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Quote #1376

Procrastination is like sex. No matter how good you are at or how many different ways you do it in the end you still get screwed.

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #360

New IB Student: How the hell do you survive this place?!

Student in second last IB year: Forget all you know about survival... I live off energy drinks, caffeine and grades... Sleep becomes a myth.

Vote: Yay! 131 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1077

Rebel: Steals a cop car and drives it down a cliff.
IB Rebel: Drinks coke in the Library.

Vote: Yay! 1264 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #216

Non IBer: Yeah, dude there was a lot of multiplying and dividing with her last night. If you know what I mean.

*IB student walk up*

IB Student: Oh, nice. So you and your girlfriend were working on your math homework last night.

Vote: Yay! 83 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #303

This happened on MSN during one bleak night where an english essay was due the next day...

Tabz: Whats a noun?
Lucas: A naming word thingo... I dunno...
Tabz: omfg... there goes my mom's years of grammar correction...

Vote: Yay! 20 Nay! | Permalink