Browsing 50 random quotations.
IB English Teacher: After reading your World Lit papers, I wanted to go spend my night drinking and drown my sorrows in alcohol.
*Class roars with laughter*
IB English Teacher: What? I AM over 21, you know.
Student: The legal drinking age is 19.
IB English Teacher: Well, I'm over 19 too.
Vote: 37 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.
Vote: 505 | Permalink
TOK - The day the world became pointless.
Vote: 599 | Permalink
You know you need lives when your friend tells you the following:
"So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Hamlet, when Freud walked in on us and started telling me it was reflective of a miserable childhood- on my part, not his."
"So you got Freud to analyze your sex life with a literary character."
"It made it all worth it."
Vote: 448 | Permalink
Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?
IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.
Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.
Vote: 1490 | Permalink
IB student: "This is your parietal bone..."
-talking to a dog while scratching its head.
Vote: 180 | Permalink
Student 1: In Shakespeare's Othello (pronounced Othayo) they come from the city of Venice (pronounced Venus).
Student 2: David, its OTHELLO, and VENICE. God, your an idiot.
[class hold back laughter]
Student 1: Oh!!! OK sorry. So Othayo...
[class bursts out laughing]
Vote: -12 | Permalink
"Spark Notes are too long."
Vote: 478 | Permalink
You know you are in IB:
when you go to a party and discuss the TOK essay you have due the following Friday.
Vote: 480 | Permalink
Finishing IB is like coming home from war. You have been away for two years fighting battles, being ambushed by prep, preparing plans to destroy a history essay at dawn the next moring...
But then you go home and the world has changed, people have changed and you feel almost out of place...
It is fun because you know you came out of it alive, but ultimately the end of IB is a huge anti-climax....
your body is used to all the stress taken in 2 years and suddenly it is all gone...what to do?
Vote: 901 | Permalink
Whoever has time to come on this site is either not in IB or going to drop out of IB.
Vote: -1099 | Permalink
People who take Math SL are smart people. They know their limits.
~ Carl Frolund, 12th Grader at MKIS hahahahha good luck on exams Carl!
Vote: 233 | Permalink
What is IB? Alcatraz, and the subjects are the prisoners.
Vote: 39 | Permalink
Cathy: Are you okay?
Flora: Yeah, I just got some juice down my trachea.
Vote: 32 | Permalink
Lachlan: Have you noticed IB students type/write down everything you say?
Music Teacher: Yes, it scares me.
Vote: 94 | Permalink
The eternal TOK question: How do we know what we know?
The IB student answer: Because we memorised it!
Vote: 103 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when you can see individual air molecules vibrating
Vote: 44 | Permalink
Ms. Preston- Are there any questions about the essay question in the Walden test?
Student- Whats the question going to be?
Vote: 35 | Permalink
Mrs. Mahone, cherfully, in response to a complaining class:
"Welcome to IB!!!"
Vote: -27 | Permalink
Art teacher: Humans made time, therefore we control time!
Rest of art class, still freaking out about an art project due the next day despite the help.
Vote: 35 | Permalink
Ms. Shannon (when physics students were studying for a test in her room during lunch time): Why don't you guys go ask Ms. Birsan, if you don't get it?
Students look at each other and smile nervously: Because we are too chicken to ask her?
Vote: -33 | Permalink
When an IB student does an assignment due the next day at 12 midnight, he says: "Good, I still have 6 hours left to finish it."
Vote: 1039 | Permalink
Student 1: Your mother is so fat that the only thing attractive about her is her gravity.
Student 2: Your mother is so fat, that she collapsed her own dimension
Student 1: Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has the chance of reaching the speed of light
Student 2: Heh, well your mother is so fat that her Heisenberg uncertainty is zero.
Student 3: Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.
Vote: 179 | Permalink
IB French Teacher: You guys need to be able to write more complicated sentences! Let's practice some of our translating. Amy translate this into french: My french techer walked into class and jumped out of the window."
Amy: That's a bit morbid...
IB French Teacher: Ok ok, try this one "The french techer will throw Amy out of the window if she doesn't translate the last sentence". Better?
Vote: 118 | Permalink
Physics teacher: Who knows what the largest star is?
Rory: oh yeah I know this one, pretty sure I saw it last night.
Physics Teahcer: uh Rory that was the moon.
Rory: :O sir, no it wasn't ...it was bigger than that
Physics teacher: the sun then?
Vote: -26 | Permalink
Hey Todd! Your epididymis is showing!
Vote: -36 | Permalink
Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.
Vote: 3026 | Permalink
you know you've graduated from IB when you can't even write emails anymore without an essay question and a due date.
Vote: 159 | Permalink
I donât even complain about IB anymore. Itâs just a part of my life and I canât even remember how life used to beâ¦before I used to moan and whine about the program and wish I could have my life back. I canât even remember what âlifeâ is anymore. It has sucked all optimism and fun out of my teenage lifeâ¦wait what life? Although insanity does have its perksâ¦try bursting into tears of laughter after stories that have no meaning or significance except to keep us from doing our work.
Vote: 151 | Permalink
4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!
Vote: -52 | Permalink
When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".
Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"
Vote: 593 | Permalink
IB Student: Aw man, I have a three hour French class after school today and I have a fever from swimming outside in the rain last night!
Non IB student: Why'd you even go to school!???
IB Student: *looks at other student weirdly* My well being is not my priority, my CAS hours are.
Vote: 84 | Permalink
IB stands for
Vote: -32 | Permalink
Mom: Please, buy the white dress to wear to prom, it looks gorgeous on you!
Patricia: Noo, but I like this other one so much more. It'll be okay, I'll wear an even nicer white dress when I get married.
Mom: *squeaky voice* YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET MARRIED, YOU'RE IN IB!
Vote: -14 | Permalink
I was procrastinating on YouTube and found this inspiring:
We are doing all these things to squeeze things together so we can save time (...) But we aren't guaranteed that time, all we have is 'here' and 'now' and that's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination is not the problem, it's the solution!
(...) Procrastinate now! Don't put it off!
by Ellen DeGeneres.
Vote: 94 | Permalink
In Biology SL
Bio teacher- Sex is the F-word...
Vote: 60 | Permalink
ToK teacher: (insert here a long, poetic and prestigious definition about what mathematics is). I think however that math... is a broccoli.
Vote: 186 | Permalink
IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?
Vote: 244 | Permalink
I want to B ... dead
Vote: -44 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.
IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon
Vote: 269 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when you're given an extended lunch break and when the bell rings you start wondering what you could be doing in class.
Vote: 48 | Permalink
We don't even know why we are taking IB.
Vote: 227 | Permalink
IB Co-ordinator: If you really want to you can read the Harry Potter books as a Creativity for CAS.
Student: Can that count as Service?
Vote: 115 | Permalink
IB is like being ruled by facism:
Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.
Vote: 460 | Permalink
----- NICOLA ----- QUEENSLANDER!!!!!!!!!!! says:
o yeh coz i can do chem while sleeping
of course you can
havent you heard of sleepworking?
apparently IB students are very good at it...
this took place in an msn convo at 12:11am
Vote: 46 | Permalink
I was planning on dropping IB, but as it turns out I procrastinated on that too.
Vote: 1432 | Permalink
Dear Quote 717,
We are nerds. Whether voluntary or not, being in IB automatically makes us this way.
Vote: 81 | Permalink
Student: Have you ever heard of a river called Gonads?
Science Teacher: No, where is that?
Student (not expecting a serious response): Uhhh, between your le... ...South America somewhere.
Vote: 49 | Permalink
After the Christmas Holidays, the English Teacher asks us how our break was
Student1: It was great! The best part was staying up all night doing nothing...the worst part was staying up all night doing work.
Vote: 103 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when:
You brag about how you did the entire Frankenstein annotation in one day, instead of doing it when it was assigned.
Vote: 263 | Permalink