Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #113

In biology class -

Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #138


Maths Teacher after being asked about tree diagrams and how they work: It's like being
dyslexic once you know you can compensate.

Vote: Yay! -11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #114

Movie in French....

Guy on screen: We were married in December 1939...... We first made love
in May 1939.

Naive IB student: Wait, did he just say that was BEFORE they were
married?

Equally naive IB student: Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

Vote: Yay! 187 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1260

IB is like Miley Cyrus.
Seems to be the Finest
Promoted to be the best.

.....................................
But is just really a snobby little bitch.

by Makku Choo

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #50

I absolutely HATE all people who have biased opinions.

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2112

If you think you're doing IB you're wrong; IB is doing you!

Vote: Yay! 75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #264

IB, therefore I am.

Vote: Yay! 29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #314

An angry student: WOW, if I graphed out my hate for that teacher, in relation to time, it would have an increasing slope.
Or EVEN a curve!

Vote: Yay! 143 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1749

Whoever has time to come on this site is either not in IB or going to drop out of IB.

Vote: Yay! -1102 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #469

Conversation on MSN after reading a few quotes:

"How sad, our whole is on that website" (ibquotes.com)
"Yeah, its the story of our lives"

Vote: Yay! 85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #212

Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #252

Student 1: This is so bad, suicide looks good...
Student 2: We don't have time, the EE is due in a week...
Student 1: Doh!!!

Vote: Yay! 70 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1492

English Teacher: If there is a fork in a poem what could it be? What could it mean?

Student 1: A Weapon
Student 2: A choice that must be made
Student 3: A fork in a road
Student 4: It could be that there is a stabbing need for something

Teacher: Have you ever thought that it might just be a fork?

Vote: Yay! 1253 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2090

Me: "Mum, I'm finding the IB really hard at the moment"
Mum: "It's not THAT bad"
Me: How would you know?
Mum: I don't know; I like it that way.

Vote: Yay! 103 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #200

An Internal Assessment is not a medical procedure.

Vote: Yay! 76 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1380

Teacher: Be sure to practice your orals a lot.. do it with your mon, dad, sister, grandma, dog, whatever, just do it.
Students: hahahahahahahahaha
Teacher: What?

Vote: Yay! 262 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2061

IB Student in his Valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony:

"Looking back on IB, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Harvard without it. I plan on studying molecular biology, and Harvard has one of the best molecular biology programs in the world, and with this first-class education I hope to one day cure cancer. So if you think about it, my participation in the IB program could save millions of lives, and I guess my sanity was a fair price to pay over these past four years for that possibility. Although I do wish I didn't have to make the choice.

Vote: Yay! 390 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1942

Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D

Vote: Yay! 427 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #66

"Could you guys stop arguing over my head? I'm trying to READ"

A student in ITGS class, when another student was whining at the teacher

Vote: Yay! -14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #100

Student (to teacher): Why are you so late?
English Teacher: Why are you so ugly?

Vote: Yay! 151 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1872

::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two

Vote: Yay! -101 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1925

(in ecosystems & societies)

Teacher: What kind of plant is that?
Student: A mushroom.
Teacher: That's not even a plant.
Student: A fungi.
Teacher: That's a totally different kingdom!
Student: Narnia!
::class bursts out laughing::

we ib kids are so smart....

Vote: Yay! 276 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #475

No matter how much homework you did last night, Cam did more.

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #849

Psych Class performing role plays on how Humanistic Therapy sessions go.

Teacher: ok one of you make up a scenario.
Student 1 (patient): Alright I just killed my mother, burnt down the school and am now preparing to kill myself! All because of the voices in my head!! Fix me doc!
Student 2 (therapist): you're a great person and i see your full potential??

Vote: Yay! 111 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1140

Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.

Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!

IB players: what's absolute value of v?

Vote: Yay! 719 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #633

Student: *writes on board* 100 days to Christmas

Teacher: *erases board* You may be in IB, but this is a publis school. We're not allowed to have Christmas!

Student: *writes on board again* 100 days to the Birth of the Generic Deity of Your Choosing

Vote: Yay! 199 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #551

"You start with your tongue at the top and work your way down. Or you bite off the bottom and suck it all out. See? In an ice cream cone, order makes all the difference!"

- Math HL teacher, on combinatorics

Vote: Yay! -17 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #34

(on MSN)
Person 1: Damnit more ITGS homework
Person 2: kawk
Person 2: *lawl
Person 2: omfg...

Vote: Yay! -59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1114

Teacher: The marks ranged from 37 to 3. Which is a good spread.

Vote: Yay! 87 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #717

these IB quotes are oh so shamefully LAME. As an IB student myself,I find this sense of humour murderously dry. Come on guys, just coz ur doin IB, doesnt mean u gotta lower ur yourselves voluntarily to the status of lowlife nerds!

Vote: Yay! -1015 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #94

IBS: Internal Bowel Syndrome

Vote: Yay! -39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2085

IB Student: perfection is the asymptote of life...

Vote: Yay! 295 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #260

In an IB Physics class:

Student: So what causes light to refract?
Teacher: Imagine light is a tractor driving first on pavement and then on some other denser medium... say, cheese grits...

Vote: Yay! 47 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #529

TOK teacher is a man of about 60....

Student: I think the ladder of love signifies an advancement through years of love. Like how it becomes richer and more powerful through time.

Teacher: Well, I'm ashamed to say that I think people can go up and down the ladder. I still enjoy sex with my wife. Very much so. I like being at the bottom of the ladder.

Vote: Yay! -5 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2098

You know you're in IB when you're in a technology store and you yell 'Oooh, books!'

Vote: Yay! 119 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #805

You know you're an IB student when you get happy and excited because your friend gives you maths revision material he found in the recycling bin.

Vote: Yay! 96 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #125

Chemistry teacher: You can't break polyatomic ions! Unless you're God... but you're NOT GOD!!

Vote: Yay! 98 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1461

Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #79

Maths teacher joke:

Terrorists stop a bus full of passengers and succeed in getting all the passengers off the bus. When they come to the back of the bus, there is one passenger still there. The terrorists say "if you don't get off the bus NOW, we will differentiate and integrate you". The small passenger replies "I'm e^x".

Vote: Yay! 68 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #31

"I love you JT" - Josh

Vote: Yay! -438 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #449

Student: Oh, look at Bobby and Jo - he's sitting next to her!
History Teacher: Yep, Bobby is just like Rasputin, he can't control his sexual appetite!

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1889

CAS:

IB's attempt to turn having a life into a homework assignment

Vote: Yay! 461 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #286

Matt (IB): Yeah, I went to school today, got a shitload of homework, and now I'm home working on five pages of math, two chem assignments, and 16 pages of random english. And I'm sick. With a fever.

Laura(Honors): Why the heck did you go to school if you were sick?

Matt: Homework comes before health. You fucking die and go to IB hell otherwise.

Vote: Yay! 657 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #519

TOK: What is math?

Student 1: Math is a way of expressing ideas. Math is it's own language.

Student 2: Math is more than just a language. Math allows us to express ideas and statements that are impossible to express using a natural language.

Student 1: Can you give me an example?


-GDHS I.B 2007-2009

Vote: Yay! 34 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #561

Mr. Ha: "Remember in elementary school there used to be teacher's helpers, you'd have to follow the teacher around and do what they asked you for a day?"
Maxim: "Future IB kids right there!"

Vote: Yay! 85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #588

Clara: I moved from America to France and barely notice the difference because IB is the same...and IB is my life.

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #213

A student is pretending to cough into a napkin with answers written on it.

Teacher: Um, are you alright?

Student: Oh um the napkin? Yeah um, yes I'm fine.

Girl with multi-touch e-ink interface in the nutrition section of her drink: You know, this has wifi as well.

Vote: Yay! -55 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #189

"If you don't practice for the oral commentary (english), then you might as well get a big jar of vaseline, a rubber glove, and screw yourself over."

Vote: Yay! 33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1482

You know you're IB when you spend more time editing a paper than writing it because you're over the word count.

Vote: Yay! 2154 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #448

An IB student's AIM away message:

"You know what this feels like? It's like it's September 1939 and I'm Britain and he's Germany. I'm SO done with appeasement here."

Vote: Yay! 168 Nay! | Permalink