Browsing 50 random quotations.
Quote #400
If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year...
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4
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Quote #521
SCHOOL IS DEATH!
IB IS HELL!
CHEMISTRY IS SATAN HIMSELF!
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-13
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Quote #213
A student is pretending to cough into a napkin with answers written on it.
Teacher: Um, are you alright?
Student: Oh um the napkin? Yeah um, yes I'm fine.
Girl with multi-touch e-ink interface in the nutrition section of her drink: You know, this has wifi as well.
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-3
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Quote #494
In HL Physics. A class of 11 students. The teacher and all the students are male except for me.
Chapter on Quantum and Nuclear Physics.
"... And so you have quarks which make up hadrons. Now, you have many different kinds of hadrons like baryons and mes--"
*genuinely puzzled* "Sir, sir, wait. I don't understand. What are *looks at notes* hard on--"
Whole class bursts into laughter. "-- I MEAN hadrons?"
'Hard on! He said hard on! AHAHA!'
'Ahaha, Jerome, you're an idiot.'
'Jerome! It's HADrons!'
'Hard on... Ahaha'
''What is a hard on'... Ahaha. You don't know what a hard on is, Jerome?'
Then they start noticing my presence and become uncomfortable.
I think I laughed the hardest.
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17
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Quote #356
Tom (in English HL while working on a poetry commentary): This is the most BORING SHIT I have ever done in my whole life.
Katie: You obviously haven't started reading Virginia Woolf yet...
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Quote #345
Spanish A1 HL1 Teacher: What did you learn from The Stranger?
Student 1: To be honest with one self?
*class laughs*
Teacher: And you student 2?
Student 2: (thinks for five minutes( I have no idea...
Teacher: There are times in your life when you wish you where a taxi driver.
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Quote #389
"Does being mugged count for CAS? What?! I'm helping the guy, aren't I?"
The British School of Rio de Janeiro
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9
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Quote #41
IB is like vegetables. It sucks but it's good for you in the long run.
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4
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Quote #43
Guy runs down the hallway singing at the top of his voice during IA deadline period: Life is hard enough, for us.
His father, the IB coordinator, passes him: Life? You don't have a life. You're in IB2! Be quiet and no running in the hallways.
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7
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Quote #390
"Welcome to IB History, you are all in deep shiiit"
-IB History Teacher
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1
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Quote #405
How do you even have time to read this ?
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9
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Quote #553
"It's illegal to show this to you but I don't really care. I taped it off the TV and I'll do it again."
- IB English Teacher
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8
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Quote #338
IB students don't procrastinate ... we just have an accute sense for prioritization.
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Quote #260
In an IB Physics class:
Student: So what causes light to refract?
Teacher: Imagine light is a tractor driving first on pavement and then on some other denser medium... say, cheese grits...
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10
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Quote #91
IB History Teacher: *sneezes* I'm allergic to students.
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4
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Quote #67
The number 45 never looked so high until now...
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43
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Quote #434
Jordan: Wait, tea comes from a plant?
Mr. Bropst: ...And there goes the rare, indigenous tea animal.
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8
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Quote #519
TOK: What is math?
Student 1: Math is a way of expressing ideas. Math is it's own language.
Student 2: Math is more than just a language. Math allows us to express ideas and statements that are impossible to express using a natural language.
Student 1: Can you give me an example?
-GDHS I.B 2007-2009
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Quote #495
Chemistry Teacher: ...then we will have to add HCl
Jason: What's HCl again?
James: It's Highly Concentrated Liquid, dumbass!
Jason: Ooh, ok....*writes down*
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16
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Quote #204
I didn't know what IB was all about until I looked up at the ceiling in IB Latin American History.
Someone had scribbled on the ceiling : I read and still got a zero.
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11
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Quote #421
Student 1: Have you done those scene summaries yet?
Student 2: Nope.
Student 1: Wait, have you even read Othello yet??
Student 2: Nope!
Student 1: But...
Student 2: Hellooo! Sparknotes!
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8
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Quote #312
IB Coordinator: After you finish your Extended Essay, you will have put about 40 hours of work into it.
Student: Do we get CAS hours?
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20
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Quote #37
Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.
Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.
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50
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Quote #192
Non-IB: "IBs don't socialise."
IB: "Sure we do, but it's just in the library..."
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12
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Quote #527
Two IB students are washing a car for charity
Student 1: Ah, the windows keep getting white marks all over them
Student 2: Yeah, it's really streaky
Student 2 looks at the windows and wipes hand across it. White mark disappears
Student 1: Oh...
Student 2: See, that works. I'll just give all the windows a hand job
Student 1 raises eyebrows and then student 2 realises what she's said.
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4
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Quote #123
"A play is like a nose. The more you dig, the more you find." (on the blackboard after literature class)
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7
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Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
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2
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Quote #402
Halfway a history paper 2 practice test on Maoist China, after the teacher has left the room ...
"So, who is this Mao guy?"
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7
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Quote #267
IB English Teacher: After reading your World Lit papers, I wanted to go spend my night drinking and drown my sorrows in alcohol.
*Class roars with laughter*
IB English Teacher: What? I AM over 21, you know.
Student: The legal drinking age is 19.
IB English Teacher: Well, I'm over 19 too.
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9
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Quote #566
Typical History of the Americas class:
"So you're saying we're a democracy because we threw people out of office and we freed a few slaves in the north. That doesn't really make us a beacon of liberty."-Mr.Young
"We have a liberty bell."-Joe
"Which is as cracked as your argument!"-Mr.Young
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4
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Quote #3
In IB we don't believe in miracles... We rely on them!
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72
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Quote #354
In a Business & Management Class...
B&M and Physics student: Sir, what's the unit of the break even volume?
Teacher: Unit.
B&M and Physics student: No I mean, metres cubed or centimetres cubed.....?!?!?
The other B&M and Physics student: HAHAHAHA
B&M and other non-physics students: Huh??
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0
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Quote #189
"If you don't practice for the oral commentary (english), then you might as well get a big jar of vaseline, a rubber glove, and screw yourself over."
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7
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Quote #196
On Mrs. Dalloway (Woolfe) in preparation for oral commentary:
Student 1: I read that there are lots of phallic symbols in the novel. Apparently Big Ben is supposed to be a big one.
Student 2: Probably represents Woolfe's view on British parliament at the time.
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5
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Quote #118
Video in history: In Japan at the time, the philosophy was "American things, Japanese ideals"
Student: Now it's the other way around...
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8
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Quote #492
IB Student 1: Is light a particle or a wave?
IB Student 2: Yes!
Non-IB Student: Haha you idiot! You can't even answer a "this or that" question properly.
All IB Students: There's so much irony it hurts.
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20
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Quote #512
In IB History Class while writing an in class essay......
*A student outside is screaming*
The class all looks toward the window
Ms. Zarcone looks up from her desk to say "Don't worry, it's an IB student"
*The class laughs*
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20
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Quote #510
There's a reason it's called Motrin IB.
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5
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Quote #449
Student: Oh, look at Bobby and Jo - he's sitting next to her!
History Teacher: Yep, Bobby is just like Rasputin, he can't control his sexual appetite!
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4
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Quote #105
Sitting next to a pretty girl and talking for hours can feel like minutes but sitting on a hot stove for a few minutes can feel like hours. THATS relativity.
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4
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Quote #8
IB is a very religious program... everyone think he's God.
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Quote #18
Alex: YESMAMNGF sda
Carson: ... What?
Alex: o my god
Alex: i seriously forgot what i was so happy about
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Quote #259
Math Teacher: What do you get when you mix a mosquito and a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't mix a vector and a scalar.
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15
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Quote #562
The Five Stages of Death:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
The Five Stages of IB:
Naiveté, Huh?, Struggle, Regret, Nonchalance
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Quote #358
It's not a big step... It's a big, suicidal leap!
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9
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Quote #458
IB sucks the living and mortal soul from your body
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Quote #265
If you're an IB student, you actually have an IB dance to release stress when your IB coordinator comes in and reminds you of the work you kept on procrastinating.
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13
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Quote #293
On SL Maths about matrices
Student 1: Do you get it?
Student 2: No...
Student 1: See the identity matrix is like a bunny on a field and then an evil inverse alien(inverse matrix) lands on the field and scares the bunny away. Do you now get it?
Student 2: Yeah... Thanks for explaining. :)
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1
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Quote #197
Teacher solving a complicated (HL) math problem on the board.
Student: Teacher, what does that +ve mean?
Teacher: What +ve... oh... I don't know. I saw it was in the book.
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Quote #224
IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.
(The word they were looking for was "querido")
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6
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