Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #229

"Wait... Who was the king between King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 16th?"

Vote: Yay! 53 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #711

The real purpose of the IB student is to develop masochism.

Vote: Yay! 107 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #300

The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsered by satan himself.

Vote: Yay! 1301 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1044

The key to a good IB History essay: SPERM
(S)ocial (P)olitical (E)conomic (R)eligious (M)ilitary

Vote: Yay! 266 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #106


Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.

Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)

Vote: Yay! 60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #400

If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year...

Vote: Yay! 112 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #200

An Internal Assessment is not a medical procedure.

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Quote #236

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.

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Quote #14

(In an argument over whether music is a language, being a system of symbols often used to convey messages, Jany argues that it isn't, and Mr. Oliver argues that it is.)

Mr. Oliver: There are many examples of music being used as a language, for example in Africa they use a drum that is stored the entire language of the people.

Jany: But that isn't music.

Mr. Oliver: How do you define music?

Jany: A system of sound that doesn't represent language.

Vote: Yay! 221 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #936

Lab reports soon start to look like a TOK paper:

"A few uncertainties and errors hindered our path to true knowledge and greater truth while observing the so-called 'lesser Beings' in the medieval Great Chain of Being, i.e. microbes."

Vote: Yay! 130 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #382

IB is like being ruled by facism:

Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.

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Quote #1979

IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?

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Quote #474

Life is like a box of HL IB Chemistry. You never know what you're gonna get, but it'll probably suck.

Vote: Yay! 155 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #696

TOK student : Teacher I need to go to the toilet.

TOK teacher: Why do you need that?
Is it so necessary?
Ask yourself if you really need that.

Vote: Yay! 185 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1796

You know when your doing IB when:

You realised that it should be "you're", not "your" in the title, first time around

Everyone else will now look again.

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Quote #188

"I like this site, the quotes about procrastination are so funny, I'm so glad I don't procrastinate!

I've been reading this site for a half hour after I had stumbled upon it when looking up something to study before midterms tomorrow, and... oh, right..."

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Quote #2055

You know your in IB when the coolest rap you ever heard was written by a classmate and it was about DNA replication.

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Quote #389

"Does being mugged count for CAS? What?! I'm helping the guy, aren't I?"
The British School of Rio de Janeiro

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Quote #102

Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.

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Quote #190

When lecturing on Pound's Cantos and Dante's Divine Comedy, paradiso terrestra, etc:

"You know what hell on Earth is? Hell on Earth is the IB program for eternity."

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Quote #1920

IB student to math teacher: Sir, did you know that Einstien failed in math when he was a kid?

Math teacher: WELL EINSTEIN WASN'T IN IB!!!!!!


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Quote #1639

If you are in IB and you ever find yourself without any homework to do one evening then one of the following events must be true:

1. You're forgetting something.
2. Something is wrong with your planner.
3. You're about to wake up in a few minutes.

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Quote #541

Sex Ed teacher (one-day guest): So can anyone tell me what to do if there's a hole in the condom?
Non-IB Student: Throw it out and get another.
IB Student: RUN AWAY.

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Quote #1264

SL & HL Biology class.
Topic was ecology and energy flow in a food web.

"So if we have 14 tons of vegetables and a mutant mouse eats them all you get 10% energy going to the mouse and 90% is lost. If an elephant then eats the mouse it gets 10% energy and 90% is lost. A Dragon might then eat the elephant and if this happens it will get 10% energy and 90% is lost. Now, if we choose to make Dragon meat-stakes, how many stakes would we get?"

The answer was 40 Dragon meat-stakes. He then proceeded to ensure that we wouldn´t use this magnificent example in the finals.

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Quote #1367

IB, smart enough to get it, stupid enough to stay.

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #28

(During TOK class): Okay, I don't mean to be offensive... but I mean, the definition of art has a limit. If it sucks, then it's not art.

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Quote #174

Substitute: I used to teach from a chair on a table!

Class: ...why?

Substitute: I used to love to do crazy stuff! Which reminds me... I want a bagel and cream cheese...

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Quote #1795

You know when you're doing IB when:

You start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.

Vote: Yay! 1441 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1576

You know you're in IB when:
You brag about how you did the entire Frankenstein annotation in one day, instead of doing it when it was assigned.

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Quote #920

Student #1: I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night.
Student #2: Really?
Student #1: Yeah. 5 hours.
Student #3: I was surfing google, because I was bored...but did you know that people our age are apparently supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep?
Student #1: Who the hell gets nine hours of sleep?

Vote: Yay! 614 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #230

I BS CAS hours!

Vote: Yay! -42 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1391

IB coordinator and history teacher: World leaders are just like people: they make bad mistakes. Sometimes you gotta own up to your bad call. Ever made a decision where you looked back and you were like 'God, why did I make that decision? What possessed me to think that was a good idea!?'

Student: Yeah. Getting into IB.

Vote: Yay! 156 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #130

A Facebook conversation at about 1am, three IB kids working on the same history worksheet. One of them gets bleary and starts uttering random quotes:

Kaity: Claire, was your answer for #1 like, really short?
Claire: Like three sentences.
Sam: Damn mine was one.
Kaity: Mine too.
Kaity: . . .. Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. . . Hey! That's like now!!

Vote: Yay! 33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1031

IB student 1 and IB student 2 are walking home together. IB student 1 is muttering to herself.

IB student 1: I have my History textbook, Hamlet, my Bio binder, my Physics textbook....
IB student 2: What's wrong?
IB student 1: *hands over backpack*
IB student 2: OMG!!! It's so LIGHT!!!!!!!
IB student 1: I think I forgot something.
IB student 2: Well you have your History textbook ...

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Quote #131

We you're in IB the phrase "I got five hours of action last night" means something completely different.

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Quote #1330

IB Student: Ahhhh Christmas i can do my IOP, my IA, get started on the EE and hopefully not kill myself before the presents show up......I really hope i get that graphing calculator i asked for!

Vote: Yay! 173 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1140

Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.

Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!

IB players: what's absolute value of v?

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Quote #448

An IB student's AIM away message:

"You know what this feels like? It's like it's September 1939 and I'm Britain and he's Germany. I'm SO done with appeasement here."

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Quote #1868

Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life

-d. cylinder

Vote: Yay! 956 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1435

Chemistry (note: not my idea)

A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.

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Quote #194

Student comes 20 minutes late to class: I'm sorry I'm late. I was waiting outside the classroom so as to not disturb the class.
Teacher: How nice...

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Quote #501

IB, where three hours is too much sleep.

Vote: Yay! 339 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #43

Guy runs down the hallway singing at the top of his voice during IA deadline period: Life is hard enough, for us.

His father, the IB coordinator, passes him: Life? You don't have a life. You're in IB2! Be quiet and no running in the hallways.

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Quote #480

IB Physics Teacher, giving out midterm grades: Isn't this exciting?! It's like American Idol!
Student (sarcastically): Yes, it's exactly like that.

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Quote #1839

April 15, Halfway through math class:

Student 1: You know CAS forms are due today..

Student 2: Oh...oh whatever. That doesn't REALLY mean they're due, it just means they're due two weeks from now. It's a warning to get procrastinating IB students to start filling out their forms and getting signatures. I've done all 150 CAS hours over two years and not a completed form to show for it yet.


Student 2: [IB Coordinator] called my house last night to stalk me for my CAS forms and I'm afraid to walk down the hallway because she might find me!!!!!!

Student 1: That's nothing. She called my house first to get your phone number because she'd misplaced it.

Student 2: *shiver*

Vote: Yay! 356 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #461

AP World History Teacher: So, I tried having a discussion about China and the Olympics with second period, but I quickly learned they had no opinions. I hope you guys do a better job.

Student: Opinions? We only know facts!

Vote: Yay! 61 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #97

"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL

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Quote #464

Eighth-grader's mom: You know, you should think about doing IB next year.
Eighth-grader: I'm too smart to do IB.

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Quote #113

In biology class -

Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.

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Quote #1849

Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.

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