Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #598

You know you are in IB when you feel physical pain when seperated from your GDC.

Vote: Yay! 57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #794

You know you're in IB when it's impossible to enjoy a no-homework weekend without worrying about the "no-homework" part.

Vote: Yay! 356 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #113

In biology class -

Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.

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Quote #1072


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Quote #27

Mr. Hughes (chemistry teacher): Give me an element.
Jason (shouting): Strontium!
Mr. Hughes: ok Carbon.

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Quote #114

Movie in French....

Guy on screen: We were married in December 1939...... We first made love
in May 1939.

Naive IB student: Wait, did he just say that was BEFORE they were

Equally naive IB student: Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

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Quote #512

In IB History Class while writing an in class essay......

*A student outside is screaming*

The class all looks toward the window
Ms. Zarcone looks up from her desk to say "Don't worry, it's an IB student"

*The class laughs*

Vote: Yay! 209 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #935

*Physics, after Grace asked yet another question*
Mrs. Birsan: Ok, im sorry, im going to have to limit you to 5 questions a class, it cant work like this

*2 minute ovation from the class, with Birsan just smiling at her desk*

note: She dropped physics the next week

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Quote #1342

IB coordinator:
"okay everyone, its time to start thinking about titles for your EE"
IB student:
"will that count for CAS hours?"

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Quote #151

About the Senior Send-off Rally:
"We are here today to say good-bye to our bright futures."

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Quote #102

Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.

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Quote #581

The eternal TOK question: How do we know what we know?
The IB student answer: Because we memorised it!

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Quote #763

an ib stdnt wud look at dis, strggle in readin it, an gt psd of

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Quote #100

Student (to teacher): Why are you so late?
English Teacher: Why are you so ugly?

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Quote #1899

only in IB will you find kids writing in all surfaces of the auditorium during a senior assembly trying to finish their chemistry write up

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Quote #215

Sr. B: IB is like eating an elephant. You must take it one bite at a time.

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Quote #873

Whenever you have no work one day in the IB you know that there must be something terribly wrong with your agenda.

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Quote #312

IB Coordinator: After you finish your Extended Essay, you will have put about 40 hours of work into it.

Student: Do we get CAS hours?

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Quote #900

Email from an IB teacher:

"Hi all,
I have had a couple of emails and conversations regarding progress on your EE.

Those of you that have sent me the outline - well done.
Those of you that have had a conversation, fine - but I still need the written outline.
Those of you that have done neither will, of course, burn in hell."

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Quote #1196

IB - when the best way to spend a Friday night is at home writing your English WLA and then waking up the next morning with a hangover.

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Quote #2107

IB student1: Man, I can't believe I finally remember something I dreamt!
IB student2: Really? What did you dream?
IB student1: I was at home...doing my extended essay...and even in my dream it was hell...
IB student2:......

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Quote #39

Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"

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Quote #174

Substitute: I used to teach from a chair on a table!

Class: ...why?

Substitute: I used to love to do crazy stuff! Which reminds me... I want a bagel and cream cheese...

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Quote #2089

"I like sex the way I like my endoplasmic reticulum, ROUGH"...


[group laughs]

Later: I can't believe we laughed at that. It was such a nerd joke.

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Quote #191

"Is this side 1?"

"Of course it is, that's a f*cking unit circle."

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Quote #222

IB English student: *Looking at a coke bottle* It's amazing what paradoxes exist in this soft drink container. It appears phallic in shape, thereby appealing to a consumer's primal desire for unmasked masculinity, yet its function as a receptacle allows us to construe it as a uterine symbol, belying our innate fascination with the feminine form.

Non IB English student: Dude, I just buy it 'cos of the hot chicks in those TV ads.

Vote: Yay! 728 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #369

Jennifer: Hey Mr Nelson, will you give me a cookie for getting an A in your class this quarter?
Mr Nelson (IB Psychology teacher - he was sick, and eating some chicken soup): Jennifer, if I had a cookie, I'd give it to you.
Jennifer: I don't even like cookies.
Mr Nelson: *sigh* Jennifer, why do you talk?

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Quote #580

If I were data I would be positively screwed, and have large interquartile rage. (=

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Quote #516

You know the IB has got you when somebody says "skeet" and the first thing you think of is the Olympic Sport...

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Quote #248

Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!

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Quote #941

IB kids throwing paper balls at each other in library and hiding behind the shelves....
Librarian: I've spent 15 years working in an elementary school library, you just demonstrated the same behavior as a 5th grader

IB student: That's because I'm in IB

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Quote #1330

IB Student: Ahhhh Christmas i can do my IOP, my IA, get started on the EE and hopefully not kill myself before the presents show up......I really hope i get that graphing calculator i asked for!

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Quote #202

IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(

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Quote #278

How many IB kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes 12 other IB kids to stand around him while he does it, telling him what he's doing wrong and how to do it right.

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Quote #235

Iwan: Oh, I thought it was a typo
Teacher: I'm not typing on the board
Iwan: Oh, I meant a hando... oh...

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Quote #906

IB Student 1: Man, I don't even care anymore; IB's never going to benefit us in the real world.

IB Student 2: Yesterday IB benefited me in a real life situation.

IB Student 1: Really?

IB Student 2: Yeah, I spilled some tea, and it landed on my EE folder and not my carpet.

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Quote #571

bio teacher: Everyone wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer when they were little

Christian: When I was little I wanted to be an animal

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Quote #434

Jordan: Wait, tea comes from a plant?
Mr. Bropst: ...And there goes the rare, indigenous tea animal.

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Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

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Quote #1527

Ravneet - I hate "". The jokes aren't even funny. Gabi laughs at them...
Merrideth - You just don't get it because you're stupid.
Ravneet - Then how did I get into IB?
Merrideth - The IB program is also stupid.
Ravneet - You're in the IB program...
Merrideth - My parents made me. That makes sense because they are stupid, too.
Ravneet - You've got a point...
Merrideth - Why are you calling my parents STUPID?

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Quote #125

Chemistry teacher: You can't break polyatomic ions! Unless you're God... but you're NOT GOD!!

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Quote #65

Mr. Belbin: Hey guys, this article is very American because the author is American.

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Quote #106


Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.

Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)

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Quote #1535

Teacher: This is madness.
IB student: Madness? This is IB!

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Quote #538

8-year-old kid: "twinkle-twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are..."

IB student: "a massive ball of gas burning millions of light years away!"

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Quote #1653

IB Student 1:What if we put all the IB kids on an island and told them they had to get off of it because it was going to explode in 24 hours?
IB Student 2: You know... I don't know if I would try to get off.

Vote: Yay! 370 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #475

No matter how much homework you did last night, Cam did more.

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Quote #2039

M/ib kid: You're as sweet as 3.1415926535897!
K/non-ib kid: No...just no.

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Quote #1071

You know you're IB when you use Facebook as a way to discuss homework, classes, and teachers.

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Quote #1939

A scientist needed a young pre-university research assistant to go with him to the Amazonian rainforest for an expedition, and had narrowed it down to two people.

"Now we need a research team; to see which of you I'm going to take, I want both of you to go off and find a team;I'll need a biologist and a chemist, to conduct research; a mathematician, to analyse the statistics involved; a Spanish speaker so we can find our way around, an Economist to evaluate to social impact of our findings; and someone proficient in English who can publish my work for me. Off you go!"

2 weeks later the two hopefuls return. One has his team of 6, all young, budding enthusiasts in their fields with excellent GCSEs and A levels in their specific areas.

"Excellent" The scientist comments, "Your team seems well suited." The other is just standing there by himself. The A leveller looks at him bemused, but is quietly smug - clearly he has failed to find anyone to help him. The scientist turns to him and says "I don't understand... I told you to go out and find a mathematician, an economist, a scientist, and a linguist?"
He replies "Exactly. I do the IB."

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