Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #439

IB English teacher: "All of your titles are cute, can dance to it. But IB is the enemy of all things fun."

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Quote #211

IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.

Vote: Yay! 484 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #685

IB student: " What's the use of girlfriend if you can't get a perfect score for your biology?"

Non IB student : " Now tell me, How do you practise Biology if you can't get a girlfriend?"

Vote: Yay! 113 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #840

IB Teacher: The people that are visiting our school this week to present information about the university have specified that they only want IB, AP, and Honors students to attend their presentation."

IB Student: In other words, "No peasants."

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Quote #841

Substitute Teacher: So... you guys are in IB?

Class: Yes.

Substitute Teacher: That's like AP, right?

Class: No, it's different.

Substitute Teacher: But both programs let you earn college credits, right? Then they're the same.

Class: They're not the same!

(A short debate ensues. The sub still doesn't believe there's a difference between IB and AP.)

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Quote #293

On SL Maths about matrices

Student 1: Do you get it?
Student 2: No...
Student 1: See the identity matrix is like a bunny on a field and then an evil inverse alien(inverse matrix) lands on the field and scares the bunny away. Do you now get it?
Student 2: Yeah... Thanks for explaining. :)

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Quote #267

IB English Teacher: After reading your World Lit papers, I wanted to go spend my night drinking and drown my sorrows in alcohol.
*Class roars with laughter*
IB English Teacher: What? I AM over 21, you know.
Student: The legal drinking age is 19.
IB English Teacher: Well, I'm over 19 too.

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Quote #1950

Student: I wish you would conserve paper more, you don't have to hurt the trees!
Teacher: Well, "teacher" is derived from the Portuguese word for "tree-killer."
Student: Really???
Teacher: No. But I do plant a tree for every thousand papers I use.
Student: Really???
Teacher: No!!

Vote: Yay! 112 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #202

IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(

Vote: Yay! -73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2081

In IB Calc SL

Teacher: Oh, that is a negative
Student: ...Your face is negative
Teacher: Well, Your face is irrational
Student: Yeah? Well, Your face is imaginary
Teacher: Your face is complex!
Class: Ooooohhhhh!

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Quote #176

Thelma: You know the saying 'You sound smarter if you don't say anything?'

Mike: Yes, ironic isn't it?

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Quote #352

IB Student: It took me 12 weeks to do my Research Paper for Inquiry Skills!
Non IB Student: How come?
IB Student: Well, it took 6 weeks for my Thesis Statement. 5 weeks and a half for my outline. Then half a week to write it! All the while doing research!
Non IB Student: What was the paper on?
IB Student: I have no idea....

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Quote #1

Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.

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Quote #1319

This morning, before getting in the shower, I passed out.

My first thought when coming out was not "Oh my god, I just passed out", it was "I'm incredibly lucky, now I don't have to take my Calc test."

Vote: Yay! 134 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #513

IBS - IB Syndrome
Sufferers often suffer from acute stress, paranoia, sleep deprovation and caffine highs.
- On friend's Advil bottle

(To friend: Does this thingy take HTML?
Friend: *Reading manga* How would I know? I'm trying to procrastinate over here!
To Friend: 0.o Sorry...)

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Quote #1849

Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.

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Quote #37

Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.

Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?

Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.

Vote: Yay! 634 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #173

In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:

Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.

40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place

Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.

40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*

Student 2: You are so STUPID!

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Quote #2069

IB Biology:
"your so hot... I'd attach you to my active site anyday."

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Quote #266

History teacher concerning Paper 1:

Origin, purpose, value and limitation - OPVL. If you don't do this I will find you in the middle of the night and do nasty things to you.

(most quotes of this type come with random dances..)

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Quote #2097

You know you're in IB when you watch Math shows on TV over the summer break.

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Quote #543

When you try to tell an IB teacher a joke...

Scott: If Venetians are from Venice, who's from Venus?
Mr. Ha (didn't get it): Women are from Venus. So us guys, we get the planet with a possible atmosphere. You girls get the one with volcanos on it.
Boys: HAH.

*Long discussion ensues, in which girls argue that Mars has a huge volcano on it too... eventually it's decided that there'd have to be a sperm/egg trade between planets to keep the race alive.*

Mr. Ha: Wait, so women would rule the economy!
Girls: HAH.
Scott: That doesn't answer my question... if Venetians are from Venice, who's from Venus? :(

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Quote #1183

(To the tune of "I Kissed a Girl")

This was not the way I planned,
To, go to college...
I got so brave, calculator in hand...
Lost my motivation
It's not what, I expected
Just want my choices...
I'm curious for IB,
Caught my attention...

I joined IB and I liked it...
Stress of the IB Rubric...
I joined IB just to try it,
I hope that AP don't mind it...
It felt like a blur
All those late nights
But now I speak spanish alright.
I joined IB and I liked it
I liked it...

No, I don't even know the name,
of my essay advisor
You're my experimental game
for the Bio IA!
It's not what,
normal kids do,
Not how they waste high school!
My head gets, so filled with...
All those trig facts!

I joined IB and I liked it,
The morning caffeine requirement...
I joined IB and I liked it,
let's hope those colleges do buy it...
It felt so wrong,
Now it's who I am,
Using Facebook to prep for exams...
I joined IB and I liked it...
I liked it...

Is appreciating IB so wrong?

Vote: Yay! 466 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1075


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Quote #863

"Hitler drank out of paper cups so you know, if you drink from one, you're pretty much drinking with Hitler." -Will during a presentation about why plastic cups are the best.

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Quote #1758

After Patrick takes out a non-graphing calculator ( a TI-15 instead of a TI-84)
Jon: Ha your calculator doesn't even have graphing!!!!!!!!!!!
* Only at IB

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Quote #96

IB, therefore I BS.

Vote: Yay! 712 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1279

Stephen Hawkins was the last IB student before CAS came in
yes, he may be smart, but look at his physical state!

- Ben Cole, Queensland Academy for Health Sciences

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Quote #1250

Only in IB are your friends jealous because your mom's a math teacher and can re-teach calculus at home.

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Quote #1916

you know youre in IB when you start reading your ToK essay just for fun, and then try to think of an argument against it.


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Quote #45

ToK teacher: In year three you have to be like wine bottles - mature.

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Quote #1862

Mohel: If anyone has one of the class-set literature books, you need to turn them in. We need to find all of them!

Student: Would I get CAS hours if I searched through people's lockers?

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Quote #1017

(Flora Coughing)

Cathy: Are you okay?

Flora: Yeah, I just got some juice down my trachea.

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Quote #418

IB Student: Aw man, I have a three hour French class after school today and I have a fever from swimming outside in the rain last night!

Non IB student: Why'd you even go to school!???

IB Student: *looks at other student weirdly* My well being is not my priority, my CAS hours are.

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Quote #28

(During TOK class): Okay, I don't mean to be offensive... but I mean, the definition of art has a limit. If it sucks, then it's not art.

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Quote #273

(Male english teacher on Dr. Astrov from Chekhov's "Uncle Vanya")

"Well YES he was drunk, but he's also a man! And men are notoriously STUPID."

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Quote #1693

IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?

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Quote #520

----- NICOLA ----- QUEENSLANDER!!!!!!!!!!! says:
o yeh coz i can do chem while sleeping
»josh« says:
of course you can
»josh« says:
havent you heard of sleepworking?
»josh« says:
apparently IB students are very good at it...

this took place in an msn convo at 12:11am

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Quote #1795

You know when you're doing IB when:

You start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.

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Quote #244

*intense discussion in chemistry class*

Student to Teacher: What's the formula for cocaine?

*3 mins later, with the whole white board covered in crazy leters and numbers*

Teacher: ...
Class: o.0

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Quote #458

IB sucks the living and mortal soul from your body

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Quote #240

Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.

*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*


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Quote #18

Carson: ... What?
Alex: o my god
Alex: i seriously forgot what i was so happy about

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Quote #1511

You know you are in IB when...

You are on this site contributing, while in reality you should really be revising.

IB Brunei (:

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Quote #1548

Only an IB student would say: "I have a Model U.N. binder, and I'm not afraid to use it."

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Quote #289

*class is talking*
Mr. Daly: *brings out grade reports and shakes them around*
Class: *stares silently at the grade reports*
Mr. Daly: Grade reports are like crack for IB students

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Quote #317

Math class, talking about provincials:

Teacher: ...and when you're filling the numbers in on the bubble sheet make sure it's really clear what number it is, cause the computer can get it confused... don't make your fives look like eights.
Student 1: What about European sevens?
Teacher: Like with a dash through them? That's fine.
Student 2: What about asian fives?
Teacher: ...What the HELL is an ASIAN FIVE!?!
Class: ahahahhahhahahahhahahah lolololol

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Quote #50

I absolutely HATE all people who have biased opinions.

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Quote #916

The realization of being IB hit me when the high point of my year was a lab that involved dropping the textbook 2 stories to calculate the force at which it hit the ground.

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Quote #2087

IB student: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband
IB student: that can be our next paper two

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