Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #1241

ToK Teacher: There's a new CAS curriculum! Now you don't just get 150 hours as fast as you can and you're done. Now you have to keep doing regular CAS projects for the next two years!
IB Students: Our lives are over.

Vote: Yay! 119 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #21

Mickelli: I hope u do well
Carson: i won't
Mickelli: be positive, u asshole

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2118

HL Russian Chemistry Teacher: "You see, when I read answer that is long and drawn out it makes me very angry. I therefore look harder in your next answers for weakness."

Vote: Yay! 36 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1397

It's like facebook is the negative charge and we are the positive charges, and our polarities attract each other mercilessly

Vote: Yay! 271 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1008

CAS = Childish Action of Students

Vote: Yay! -107 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1869

I used to write all my homework on a dry erase calendar... until i ran out of time to update it.

Vote: Yay! 369 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #363

AP/IB Calculus teacher, in an attempt to "engage us":
WHERE DID PI GO? We've been *doing* pi all morning! But this isn't a disc, this isn't a circle. It's a triangle--YA KNOW?

Vote: Yay! -31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #345

Spanish A1 HL1 Teacher: What did you learn from The Stranger?

Student 1: To be honest with one self?
*class laughs*
Teacher: And you student 2?

Student 2: (thinks for five minutes( I have no idea...

Teacher: There are times in your life when you wish you where a taxi driver.

Vote: Yay! -23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1998

You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.

IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon

Vote: Yay! 272 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #840

IB Teacher: The people that are visiting our school this week to present information about the university have specified that they only want IB, AP, and Honors students to attend their presentation."

IB Student: In other words, "No peasants."

Vote: Yay! 266 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #424

When I started at an IB school I though "wow this school is gonna be really nerdy". After a couple of weeks I realized "wow this school really isn't nerdy!"

Now I know I just became more nerdy!

Vote: Yay! 36 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2030

( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)

Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.

Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?

Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1629

Only in IB:
Hey, we should all meet up at the library over spring break!

Vote: Yay! 711 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #216

Non IBer: Yeah, dude there was a lot of multiplying and dividing with her last night. If you know what I mean.

*IB student walk up*

IB Student: Oh, nice. So you and your girlfriend were working on your math homework last night.

Vote: Yay! 83 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1092

Student 1: ...and she's just so so...slutty. AND DUMB.
Student 2: I know! Why is she even in IB??
Student 3: haha probably to calculate her "profits" correctly for her services! haha.
Student 1: haha or maybe to figure good slope angles for you know what!
Student 4: Maybe to discover new curves and angles for her slopes!
All: HAHAHAHA!
*we stop and look at one another with horrified faces*
Student 3: guys. we just laughed at a joke containg algebra in it.
Student 1: crap. were officially IB kids now.

Vote: Yay! 656 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: Yay! -53 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #429

Who built the ToK ArK?

Knower!

Vote: Yay! 46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2094

Student 1: Do you do maths HL?
Student 2: Do I look suicidal to you?

Vote: Yay! 420 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #460

Mr. Ha: "The thing about asians... we kind of go everywhere. Funniest thing is an Asian with a texan accent. Like my cousin, "Y'all, let's go to the mall." And german accents too... Yeeeah, this is math class, back to the lesson.

Quadrant I is A: always positive. Quadrant II is S: only sine. Quadrant III is T: only tangent. Quadrant IV is C: only cosine. A mnemonic for memorizing this that my teacher taught me is "All Students Take Chemistry" and I thought "I'm never gonna remember that." There's also "All Students Take Craps" but...
Anyway, last semester when I was teaching this to my class, a guy says, "Ohhh! Mr. Ha, All Strippers Take Cash!" I'll never forget that."

The things we learn in an IB classroom. :)

Vote: Yay! 78 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1390

Math Studies insults:
Khalia: Susie, I depreciate you.
Susie: Khalia, my love for you decays at an exponential rate.

Vote: Yay! 93 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #942

regular Student: So what do you do in IB?
IB student: We put life, soul, sanity, social life and body to the line for the the act of absorbing and regurgitating information at will in the service of IBO.
regular student: Why dude?
IB student: Good question haven't really given it that much thought.

Vote: Yay! 126 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #198

During a review period in English class.

IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2105

IB is only two years. Hell is eternal. So it's worth it... riiiight?

Vote: Yay! -41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #284

Chemistry teacher: Here's the percent error formula: you minus God over God times a hundred.
Student 1: Wait, what?
Chemistry teacher: You heard me.

Vote: Yay! 43 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #71

Coordinator: Hey Guys! There's a Blood Donation session tomorrow, I hope you can make it!

Student: Do we get CAS hours??

Vote: Yay! 3158 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #342

IB Student: I feel like it's an eternal battle between me and our IB Coordinator. It's like she's Andrew Jackson...and I'm Aaron Burr.

Vote: Yay! 33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1085

IB Student 1: *working on a math problem* So, this matrix is singular.
Non-IB Student: You're singular.
IB Student 1: Your mom's singular.
IB Student 2: Your mom's determinant is equal to zero?!

Vote: Yay! 129 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1342

IB coordinator:
"okay everyone, its time to start thinking about titles for your EE"
IB student:
"will that count for CAS hours?"

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #261

IB kid: I hate how the other 80% of the school has no idea what it's doing.

Non IB kid: Yeah, I'm glad I'm in the intelligent 10%.

Vote: Yay! 490 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1103

IB Bio Teacher: Okay, since the highest grade on your last test was a 70, I'm doing something very out of character and letting you guys do test corrections.
IB Kids: Wow, that's really nice!! Are you doing that because you're in the Christmas spirit?
IB Bio Teacher: No, I'm doing it because I'm scared of you guys.

Vote: Yay! 249 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #42

In a class before Christmas break of IB2 year:

Teacher: Have a good break. I'm sure you'll all study like hell during the break for the mock exams Christmas.

Student (mutters): Like hell we will.

Vote: Yay! 66 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1460

IB English teacher supervising a Math HL examination:
"You guys can write a whole Math HL paper but you can't fill the coversheet?!"

Vote: Yay! 203 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #487

Teacher: I feel like a sewage worker every time I grade your papers: No matter what I do, I have to wade through all of your crap.

Student: What do you expect, it's TOK!!!

Vote: Yay! 121 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #251

There comes a time in one's life where it is deemed neccessary to break into school to get back to the lab on a sunday morning (complete with hangover) and do group 4. This may also be referred to as IB-induced psychosis, the prognosis is bleak...

Vote: Yay! 70 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #484

ToK
Student 1: Relativity makes no sense.
Student 2: In comparison to what?

Vote: Yay! 272 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #689

First Chemistry Class
Chemistry Teacher: "Please, handle the cock gently."
Student: "But I've never seen one of these before."
Student`: "Is this where the liquid comes out?" *pointing at one of the openings of the three-way-cock*

Vote: Yay! -67 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #403

Mrs. Gleaton: "'IB 20th century topics' might as well be called 'Teaching smart kids exactly how every brutal, totalitarian regime was started by one person and how with the right timing and planning anyone in this class also could.'"

Vote: Yay! 219 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #245

Mike: *Throws grape in air and catches it with mouth*

Steph: Ooh! Let me try! *Throws grape in air... doesn't come down.*

Mike + Steph: What the fuck!?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #113

In biology class -

Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2042

You know you're in IB when it's the morning of your birthday, and you're staying up doing your homework.

Vote: Yay! 458 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

Vote: Yay! -56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #281

(At our school, the IB kids get a pizza lunch once a month).

Freshman IB History Teacher before our first pizza lunch: You'll quickly learn that these lunches are the only good thing about IB.
Alex: So what, we sell our souls for pizza?

Vote: Yay! 74 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #750

The coordinator passes out papers and while talking to the lazy students sprawled out on the floor. "Okay guys, I want you to read "3 Steps to Overcoming Procrastination" before we go on with the retreat."
The students look at their coordinator in disbelief and fear for his sanity. One student breaks the long silence by calling out "I'll read it later!" while putting her paper in her bag. Her entire IB class follow her lead!

Vote: Yay! 122 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #9

A student's French paper used baisser in the wrong way.

French Teacher: je pensait que tu a fait quelqu'un chose apres s'as baisse une grenouille.....

[Note: ok my French might be rough but that's the general idea]

Vote: Yay! -72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #475

No matter how much homework you did last night, Cam did more.

Vote: Yay! -29 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #455

Student 1: The answer obviously equals to 1327. Then if you need to multiply it by 7.794 to get the answer to b. the answer should be around 8000-9000
Student 2: Yes...okay....but I asked for your phone number

Vote: Yay! 65 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1410

What's the difference between a dead person and an IB student?
-NOTHING

Vote: Yay! -26 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #843

Teacher: And to find the amount of molecules, we use Avogadro's number...
Student: What the hell do avocados have to do with anything?

Vote: Yay! 177 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #479

Teacher: No, we won't be getting into our math groups today. Carter's talking out of turn.
Carter: Life is all about second chances.
Teacher: Not in IB it's not.

Vote: Yay! 95 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1863

"How do you even have time to read this ?"

...how do you even have time to write that?

Vote: Yay! 1318 Nay! | Permalink