Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #2061

IB Student in his Valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony:

"Looking back on IB, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Harvard without it. I plan on studying molecular biology, and Harvard has one of the best molecular biology programs in the world, and with this first-class education I hope to one day cure cancer. So if you think about it, my participation in the IB program could save millions of lives, and I guess my sanity was a fair price to pay over these past four years for that possibility. Although I do wish I didn't have to make the choice.

Vote: Yay! 395 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1085

IB Student 1: *working on a math problem* So, this matrix is singular.
Non-IB Student: You're singular.
IB Student 1: Your mom's singular.
IB Student 2: Your mom's determinant is equal to zero?!

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Quote #800

Two IB students: (one bent over in front of the other)
IB Chemistry teacher: HEY! No covalent bonding without C3H3N!

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Quote #242

Javier: From now on, we'll refer to Thelma as New Orleans.
Mike: Uhm...why?
Javier: Well, as you know, New Orleans is also known as "The Big Easy".

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Quote #484

Student 1: Relativity makes no sense.
Student 2: In comparison to what?

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Quote #248

Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!

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Quote #39

Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"

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Quote #88

Student: Is that gunna be on the test?

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Quote #53

Teacher: A catalyst is something that speeds up a chemical reaction, but it's not involved in the reaction itself.

Student: Um.. can you give us a real life example?

Teacher: Sure, I tell my son to clean up his room, he says no, I ask him nicely, he still says no, so then, I take out my belt and and ask him again, he runs up to clean it.

Student: O.o

Teacher: See, the belt it not never touched him, but it speeds up the reaction.

Vote: Yay! 674 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #507

3 weeks before the World Lit. is due:

Student: What's World Lit?

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Quote #219

Thelma after dropping out of IB

Thelma: Hey, I can't stand Math Studies anymore, that's why I dropped out .

Student: Wow that sucks.

Thelma: Yeah, and I heard that AP Geometry and AP Algebra at my friend's school are so much easier.

Student: -_-

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Quote #331

In a TOK presentation:

Music that is unmusical, is sort of like grammar. Like, when you are ungrammatical, it doesn't sound very good.

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Quote #1084

"Spark Notes are too long."

-IB Senior

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Quote #401

In math studies:

Mrs. Zuniga: What are angles called when they're less than 90 degrees?

class: acute

Mrs. Zuniga: What are they called when they're more than 90 degrees?

class: obtuse

Mrs. Zuniga: How about when they're more than 180 degrees?

Melissa: ....obese

Vote: Yay! 112 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #411

If the forward to a book went something like this:

"This book means absolutely nothing and does not intentionally contain any underlying meanings. Any symbolism, imagery, figurative language, etc. is purely coincidental."

IB English teachers would expect an analysis essay over it from their students.

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Quote #166

What is IB? Alcatraz, and the subjects are the prisoners.

Vote: Yay! 39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #600

"CAS, EE, TOK essay, IAs. You know you're in the IB, when the exam period, is the most relaxing time you've had."

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Quote #2078

IB Math student: Hey guys! I have a math joke for you
students: go ahead!
IB Math Student: Why did sine and cosine go to the beach?TO GET A TAN!

Vote: Yay! 325 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #308

IB student: So yesterday was the worst day of my life.

Honors student: What? Oh my goodness! What happened, are you ok?

IB student: Oh yeah, when you are in IB the worst day in your life happens, like everday.

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Quote #156

This occurred randomly while walking through the mall.

IB Student: *pointing at other person's feet* Are those really actual shoes??

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Quote #989

i love the depth of ToK :P

"Arts is completly subjective
-> Picaso's art looks like trash to normal people but is priceless to those who like trash"

(my friend's actual notes for our upcoming presentation on ways of knowing through observation)

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Quote #46

IB Coordinator: You can't go and screw around with the teachers!

Vote: Yay! 65 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1896

"The International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme (PYP) is designed for students aged 3 to 12"

HAHAHA, who are they kidding? poor 3 year olds.

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Quote #419

Said while doing Astrophysics and looking at how large the universe is:

"I feel so small! I mean there's no one for miles!!"

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Quote #134

Student 1: Don't tell me the ending!
Student 2: To what?
Student 3: World War One!!!
-IB History students

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Quote #362

Emily L: Wow Christian, you and the animals. You're always talking about breeding turtles, and Siberian tigers, and Norwegian rabbits and--
Christian: Yeah, but there probably aren't even any rabbits in Norwegia.
Emily K and Emily L: Wait...

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Quote #1435

Chemistry (note: not my idea)

A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.

Vote: Yay! 282 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #519

TOK: What is math?

Student 1: Math is a way of expressing ideas. Math is it's own language.

Student 2: Math is more than just a language. Math allows us to express ideas and statements that are impossible to express using a natural language.

Student 1: Can you give me an example?

-GDHS I.B 2007-2009

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Quote #642

"Remember how they told you that real life is harder than IB? Um. They lied."

-Former IB Student

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Quote #638

To hand in homework is like menstruation. To go though it annoys you, but being late can really freak you out.

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Quote #791

What IB math does to us poor saps with no lives:

"Girls = Time x Money

Time = Money

Therefore: Girls = Money^2

Money = √evil

Girls = Money^2

Therefore Girls = (√evil)^2

Therefore Girls = evil"

Vote: Yay! -82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1898

Non-IB Student: I just got 75 hours of community service for getting caught drinking last month.
IB Student: I've got 150 to do.
Non-IB Student: DAMN, what'd you do?!

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Quote #216

Non IBer: Yeah, dude there was a lot of multiplying and dividing with her last night. If you know what I mean.

*IB student walk up*

IB Student: Oh, nice. So you and your girlfriend were working on your math homework last night.

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Quote #1624

"My parents neglected me. So I turned to math."
-Mr. Taragan

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Quote #1122

Minds are like parachutes just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can have someone elses.

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Quote #913

You know IB has gone a bit too far when u can actually make a business out of swapping homework with each other.

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Quote #67

The number 45 never looked so high until now...

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Quote #1019

Apple's Latest: The iB. DESCRIPTION: Does not require food or water, just a steady supply of caffeine. CAUTION: Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight. Comes in pale pale pale pale white only. Sleep not included. Money back guarantee if it doesn't get past Freshman year. SIDE EFFECTS: aching back; enormous backpacks; stunted growth (NOT due to caffeine but from heavy backpack); NERDY, not dirty, thoughts; hair loss; hair growth; may crash when overloaded with work; may randomly put Wagner operas or attempt to sing one-man madrigals; may speak in a long line of symbols.

Vote: Yay! 323 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #416

During a year 11 TOK class

“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”
Bertrand Russell (1917)

Student: Oh great, another pointless part of TOK.

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Quote #1497

IB pickup line:
Baby, I'll treat you like my homework. I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

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Quote #937 that like sudoku?

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Quote #293

On SL Maths about matrices

Student 1: Do you get it?
Student 2: No...
Student 1: See the identity matrix is like a bunny on a field and then an evil inverse alien(inverse matrix) lands on the field and scares the bunny away. Do you now get it?
Student 2: Yeah... Thanks for explaining. :)

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Quote #221

Friday night I went out, got drunk, got home about 2 AM. Saturday morning I crawled out of bed and went to school to work on my EE. Thanks, IB!

Yours truly,

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Quote #466

Physics Teacher: Now imagine a pink fluffy cloud at the back of the room. Now imagine that there are ping-pong balls being thrown into the cloud. That's how particles work!

Class: WTF???

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Quote #692

Non IB kids see "TV" and think of the distance between them, their television, and the remote.
An IB kid sees "TV" and thinks of the distance formula.

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Quote #754

To be or not IB therefore there is no question

Vote: Yay! -46 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1368

Patricia: Say something sweet and corny. <3<3
Nate: I don't know.
Patricia: Come on!
Nate: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
Patricia: ...Oh God.

Vote: Yay! 707 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #7

Agitated French teacher: You don't "baisser" a frog, never!

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Quote #2095

Only IB gives you true protection from the sun's UV rays...

Welcome to summer assignments.

Vote: Yay! 456 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #146

Student: Hey I came up with a joke! Want to hear it?
Physics teacher: Okay sure
Student: Okay, what happens when you get stabbed by 1 over T?
Physics teacher: You calculate the frequency of how much you get stabbed?
Student: No, it "hertz".

*class laughs*

Physics teacher: Hey you guys do you want to hear another joke?
Class: Sure!
Physics teacher: I just marked your quizzes.

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