Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #1868

Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life

-d. cylinder

Vote: Yay! 961 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1191

Channa- "In Chemistry Class, Kindra said that her idol was Hugh Hefner."
Caleb- "I seriously have no idea who that is..."
Kindra- "Man, you must not masturbate at all!!!"

Vote: Yay! -74 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #6

Newly hired ITGS Teacher: "What's an internal assessment?"

Vote: Yay! 138 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #70

English teacher: "So in House of the Spirits, you have Miguel and Alba, Pedro and Blanca, Nicolas and's an orgy of forbidden love!"

Vote: Yay! 32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #328

IB Student: Standard kids stress me out.

Vote: Yay! 128 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1

Student (smacking his fist against the desk during a physics test): Damn it!
Teacher: Next time, use your head.

Vote: Yay! 439 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #650

IB is mentally raping me..

Vote: Yay! -8 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1117

Real life is a holiday compared to the IB.

Vote: Yay! 357 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #599

After a Physics exam the only formula you know is E=hf

Exam = hard *uck

Vote: Yay! -14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1361

When Heena & Patricia brought a cake to English class, everyone argued over how to divide it up into 13 pieces.

Grace: "Guys, make a peace sign first!"
Someone: "But then there'll be an extra piece, Grace, it needs to be fair!"
Grace: "No look I'll demonstrate on the board!" *Begins drawing, ignored*
Flora: "Okay listen, if we can just find the circumference of the cake..."
Catherine: "This is too IB." *Hurries away*
Patricia: "Wait, what then when we find the circumference?"
Flora: "Well, we'll need to get a protractor to find the correct angles... And then..."
Heena: ...*Begins cutting randomly, ignoring everyone else*

Vote: Yay! 132 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1899

only in IB will you find kids writing in all surfaces of the auditorium during a senior assembly trying to finish their chemistry write up

Vote: Yay! 82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #63

I.B is good for people with suicidal tendencies: instead of sitting down at 5pm to start a 2000-word essay and thinking, 'Oh my God, I want to die,' you sit down at 2am to start a 2000-word essay and all you can think is 'Oh my God, I want to sleep.'

Vote: Yay! 402 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #259

Math Teacher: What do you get when you mix a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't mix a vector and a scalar.

Vote: Yay! 100 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #303

This happened on MSN during one bleak night where an english essay was due the next day...

Tabz: Whats a noun?
Lucas: A naming word thingo... I dunno...
Tabz: omfg... there goes my mom's years of grammar correction...

Vote: Yay! 20 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1549

IB is not a path chosen for the faintest of heart. Only for the ones that chose the wrong path.

Vote: Yay! 365 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1679

TOK - The day the world became pointless.

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Quote #663

French Teacher: "Ava! We're not supposed to have sexual content in schools!"

Ava: "You have read the books we got assigned in English, right M. A?

Vote: Yay! 75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1886

The fire alarm goes off and all the students are standing out in the parking lot:
IBteacher - everyone move back 2 steps!
IBstudent - if i move back 4 do i get extra credit?

Vote: Yay! 196 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #415

In TOK class trying to define 'good' and giving examples of when we use it

Student 1: 'Good' is what you use to describe something that is not bad.

Student 2: But that definition doesn't apply to all uses of it.

Student 1: But for example out of a 'good boy' and a 'bad boy' then of course the good is the one you would want.

TOK teacher: Uh... really??

Vote: Yay! 38 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1982

How not to get your Business IA done-
To the tune of Bubbly by Collie Caillat:

Procrastinated for a while now
I really should go do my essay now
But every time I see that white blank page
My mind wanders to another place

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Our teacher can be really really vague
Don't understand half the things he say
Rambles on so very boring-ly
We're so confused why can't he see?

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

What am I gonna say?
Only knew 'bout this yesterday!
I just...... AGRRHHHH!!!!

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Been writing this for a while now
I think I just took my break right now
That essay cannot so itself
I'll use Wikipedia for some help

Old Wiki might know
And I better go
And do this horrible essay so
My grades ain't so low
My teacher gives me the shits
And has halitosis
Oh god yeah

I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
Won't be done for a while
That don't make me smile.....

Vote: Yay! 316 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1077

Rebel: Steals a cop car and drives it down a cliff.
IB Rebel: Drinks coke in the Library.

Vote: Yay! 1271 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1195

Would it count as action, service, or creativity hours if i punch Alec in the face?

Vote: Yay! 94 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1511

You know you are in IB when...

You are on this site contributing, while in reality you should really be revising.

IB Brunei (:

Vote: Yay! 493 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #863

"Hitler drank out of paper cups so you know, if you drink from one, you're pretty much drinking with Hitler." -Will during a presentation about why plastic cups are the best.

Vote: Yay! 130 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #101

History teacher: The atlatl was an important development, because it allowed spears to be thrown much further and more accurately. For example, it would be quite easy for me to hit that student smoking down there.

Student: They should make that into a stop-smoking campaign!

Vote: Yay! 43 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1531

Teacher: What do you know?
Students: Nothing
Teacher: What dont you know?
Students: everything
Teacher: What have you learned?
Students: WAIT we were learning.

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Quote #1124

Procrastination is like unprotected sex the more you do it the worse off you are.

Vote: Yay! 208 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1902

[In IB Physics HL, discussing entropy.]

Ms. D: So, imagine that you have a layer of salt and a layer of pepper in a jar. And then you shake it all up so that it's completely mixed up! How do you separate the salt and pepper into layers again?

Preston: Easy. You can just centrifuge it. And then because of the difference of masses, the salt and pepper will separate.

Max: Or you can put a charge on a spoon and attract the pepper particles to it. And the salt won't be attracted because it's not charged... as much.

Brian: Or you can eat it!

Amanda: I think the answer you're looking for is no. It's impossible.

Ms. D: Thank you!!!

Vote: Yay! 97 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #541

Sex Ed teacher (one-day guest): So can anyone tell me what to do if there's a hole in the condom?
Non-IB Student: Throw it out and get another.
IB Student: RUN AWAY.

Vote: Yay! 56 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1024

IB- Internal Brain damage

TOK- Theory of Killing self

CAS- Creates Assignment Shit

EE- 4000 words.."EEEEEEEE"

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Quote #617

Who will do well in IB?
Those who like BS

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Quote #116

From a website:
Procrastination is like masturbation.
It's a lot of fun until you realize you've just fucked yourself.

Vote: Yay! 2726 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2078

IB Math student: Hey guys! I have a math joke for you
students: go ahead!
IB Math Student: Why did sine and cosine go to the beach?TO GET A TAN!

Vote: Yay! 324 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #322

(French teacher passes out French test)
(Class realizes they have already taken this test)

Student 1: Madame, we've already taken this test.
Student 2: Yeah, it was our midterm.
(Class murmurs sounds of agreement)
Teacher: Oh, you're so picky, just take it.

Vote: Yay! 60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1229

Asian: Yeah, I never went to math camp, isn't that sad?

Vote: Yay! -49 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #258

Dictatorsarefun: But all your thinking is theoretical, I can't accept it with out empirical data
Dictatorsarefun: only humor it
VoteforNimitz: It's acceptable until a better data model is available
VoteforNimitz: It has the most theoretical backing
VoteforNimitz: otherwise we are mulling around without a clue as to what's going on like a bunch of Saxons
VoteforNimitz: The acceptance of theory allows for some illusion of knowledge
Dictatorsarefun: ahahhaha

Vote: Yay! -23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #667

In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....

People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.

People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...

(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #518

Only the Swiss could come up with something as unpleasant as the IB.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #535

Various quotes from my TOK class discussions

Dr Davey (TOK teacher, biologist)
"Shan't, won't, that's it, I'm not dividing"- on stem cell research
"What data can you get from ten dead insects?"- on marking biology exams
"No love eminating from this patosaurus at the moment"- after being called a medium sized grey animal
"I am NOT a blur. Not even a medium sized grey blur"- still offended about the grey animal thing
"Pigeons are landing very heavily on people's heads at the moment"- going off on a tangent, methinks
"The, er, alternative gender"- talking about men and their 'merits'

Dr Davey is a very special lady. TOK lessons are fun!

Vote: Yay! -33 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #473

After starting IB whenever you talk about something out of school it still somehow relates back to IB...

Vote: Yay! 342 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1278

Chuck Norris got a 50 in IB
Thats right, a 50
And he did 9 HL subjects
You heard me

-Ben Cole, Queensland Academy of Health Sciences

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Quote #397

Non IB Student: And so I found this quote--


Non IB Student: *backs away*

Vote: Yay! 72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #826

IB math pick-up lines:

"Are you a differential equation? 'Cause I want to be tangent to your curves."

"I don't want to be obtuse, but you're acute boy."

Vote: Yay! 85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2058

Finishing IB is like coming home from war. You have been away for two years fighting battles, being ambushed by prep, preparing plans to destroy a history essay at dawn the next moring...
But then you go home and the world has changed, people have changed and you feel almost out of place...
It is fun because you know you came out of it alive, but ultimately the end of IB is a huge anti-climax....
your body is used to all the stress taken in 2 years and suddenly it is all gone...what to do?

Vote: Yay! 917 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #257

Chemistry Student One: (wears flip flops in a non-lab day, but we somehow get out the chemicals anyway) Oh no! I have caustic chemicals on my toes!

Chemistry Student Two: Don't worry, the teacher's a doctor!

Dr. Helmick: Heh. Use the shower!

Vote: Yay! -3 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1062

Flora: I'm cold even with mittens on! How do I get an exothermic reaction to take place inside the mittens?

Vote: Yay! 135 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1522

IB is in a way like Scientology. It's one of the most evil things on the face of this earth, but once you're in there's no getting out.

Vote: Yay! 169 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2108

IB... some people have made this isnt to "im better than you corse" this is as A-level students tent to get on at us .... infact we are the "im better than you cours" ... when exams come it will take half the time to think of a way too kill myself.

Vote: Yay! -198 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #460

Mr. Ha: "The thing about asians... we kind of go everywhere. Funniest thing is an Asian with a texan accent. Like my cousin, "Y'all, let's go to the mall." And german accents too... Yeeeah, this is math class, back to the lesson.

Quadrant I is A: always positive. Quadrant II is S: only sine. Quadrant III is T: only tangent. Quadrant IV is C: only cosine. A mnemonic for memorizing this that my teacher taught me is "All Students Take Chemistry" and I thought "I'm never gonna remember that." There's also "All Students Take Craps" but...
Anyway, last semester when I was teaching this to my class, a guy says, "Ohhh! Mr. Ha, All Strippers Take Cash!" I'll never forget that."

The things we learn in an IB classroom. :)

Vote: Yay! 78 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #411

If the forward to a book went something like this:

"This book means absolutely nothing and does not intentionally contain any underlying meanings. Any symbolism, imagery, figurative language, etc. is purely coincidental."

IB English teachers would expect an analysis essay over it from their students.

Vote: Yay! 200 Nay! | Permalink