Browsing 50 random quotations.

Quote #448

An IB student's AIM away message:

"You know what this feels like? It's like it's September 1939 and I'm Britain and he's Germany. I'm SO done with appeasement here."

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Quote #2077

IB Student very sick but still went to school to write science test.

IB Student: ****coughing**weezing**sneezing**

Teacher: If you're going to die, die before the test so I don't have to mark it.

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Quote #1365

Satan's three greatest accomplishments:
3. WWI (thousands died)
2. WWII (thousands more died)
1. IB (thousands are put under extreme suffering each year)

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Quote #1998

You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.

IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon

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Quote #992

Dad: Water is an amazing substance, have you ever wondered why ice cubes float in water, even though they're made out of water?

IB student: Well that's because there are tiny air bubbles trapped within them...


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Quote #750

The coordinator passes out papers and while talking to the lazy students sprawled out on the floor. "Okay guys, I want you to read "3 Steps to Overcoming Procrastination" before we go on with the retreat."
The students look at their coordinator in disbelief and fear for his sanity. One student breaks the long silence by calling out "I'll read it later!" while putting her paper in her bag. Her entire IB class follow her lead!

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Quote #1566

Only in I.B., at T.O.K. night class

Teacher: You guys are now the only 29 students on campus who can log into school computers after 5 p.m.! Now that's something to brag about

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Quote #2117

Facebook status at 3am while typing the third draft of World Lit due that morning:

"IB dead".

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Quote #280

Madeline: Chemistry makes me want to take a shot of H2SO4.

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Quote #953

"in the real world, 50hrs of Service is a IB it's a requirement"

telly! =]

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Quote #2035

You know you're in IB when you psychodynamically analyse your classmates TOK doodles.

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Quote #1799

IB has ruined our life for 2 years, but it will help us in a long run if we get good score.

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Quote #1183

(To the tune of "I Kissed a Girl")

This was not the way I planned,
To, go to college...
I got so brave, calculator in hand...
Lost my motivation
It's not what, I expected
Just want my choices...
I'm curious for IB,
Caught my attention...

I joined IB and I liked it...
Stress of the IB Rubric...
I joined IB just to try it,
I hope that AP don't mind it...
It felt like a blur
All those late nights
But now I speak spanish alright.
I joined IB and I liked it
I liked it...

No, I don't even know the name,
of my essay advisor
You're my experimental game
for the Bio IA!
It's not what,
normal kids do,
Not how they waste high school!
My head gets, so filled with...
All those trig facts!

I joined IB and I liked it,
The morning caffeine requirement...
I joined IB and I liked it,
let's hope those colleges do buy it...
It felt so wrong,
Now it's who I am,
Using Facebook to prep for exams...
I joined IB and I liked it...
I liked it...

Is appreciating IB so wrong?

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Quote #332

How to bullshit an English Commentary:

1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.

2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.

3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.

4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.

5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!

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Quote #248

Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!

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Quote #252

Student 1: This is so bad, suicide looks good...
Student 2: We don't have time, the EE is due in a week...
Student 1: Doh!!!

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Quote #1336

ToK teacher: Statistics are like a bikini. They reveal a whole lot, but hide the essential.

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Quote #698

English HL teacher explaining about Julius Caesar.

Student 1 *commenting about the fight between one of the 2 jobless fucks in the play*: "It's like ancient swearing."

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Quote #414

You know you're in IB when you can see individual air molecules vibrating

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Quote #1018

This is IB, you may pick 2 of the following:

1. Good Grades
2. Enough Sleep
3. A Social Life

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Quote #1413

On a note on facebook:

"Since I'm so bored, I think I'll actually cite my search and the other people who wrote this note too."

Only in IB would you go to the extent of citing your social-networking notes.

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Quote #214

I don’t even complain about IB anymore. It’s just a part of my life and I can’t even remember how life used to be…before I used to moan and whine about the program and wish I could have my life back. I can’t even remember what “life” is anymore. It has sucked all optimism and fun out of my teenage life…wait what life? Although insanity does have its perks…try bursting into tears of laughter after stories that have no meaning or significance except to keep us from doing our work.

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Quote #1403

You know you're in IB when your class is asked to do a presentation on their favorite technology and almost 2/3 of your class chooses their calculators...

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Quote #2065

You know you are in IB:
when you go to a party and discuss the TOK essay you have due the following Friday.

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Quote #2085

IB Student: perfection is the asymptote of life...

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Quote #1904

A WWF Representative once present their symbol to IB students.

WWF Representative: What do you see?
IB Student: It's one of Gestalt Principles, closure. That is when the viewer's perception completes a shape.

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Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

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Quote #880

IB Student: "Wow, this couch is a lot softer than I remembered."

IB Student's Mother: "Um sweetie... that's the floor."

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Quote #2096

IB coordinator: [when talking about the IB] it's a global problem.. I mean a solution

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Quote #301

(Sitting in lunch room, three students having a heated discussion about TOK)
Student 1: What solid proof do you have that man did land on the moon?!
Student 2: Compare yours to mine, a**hole!
Student 3: Will you both shut up?!!? If you dont, I'll spork you!
Student 1 & 2: O_O

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Quote #913

You know IB has gone a bit too far when u can actually make a business out of swapping homework with each other.

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Quote #2108

IB... some people have made this isnt to "im better than you corse" this is as A-level students tent to get on at us .... infact we are the "im better than you cours" ... when exams come it will take half the time to think of a way too kill myself.

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Quote #614

...while studying for an IB Math SL exam...
S: ..I imagine a type of McDonald's where you drive up and ask, "Can I have a literary essay with this, this and this about this novel?"...and the dude will ask, "You want textual evidence with that?"

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Quote #33

IB helps you with stress management. It throws all this stress at you and says, 'Manage it!' Then you have your breakdown and you get over it.

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Quote #55

IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.

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Quote #516

You know the IB has got you when somebody says "skeet" and the first thing you think of is the Olympic Sport...

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Quote #691

Physics Teacher: "But you have to choose which direction is up first."
Student 1: ???
Student 2: "Would that mean that the stone is flying up to the ground when it's dropped?"

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Quote #545

Biology teacher on XYY syndrome:

I'm big, I'm strong, I'm dumb.

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Quote #1560

you know you're an IB kid when you realize you are bringing your homework to the mall. - IB german 2 class, DHS

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Quote #1398

(after handing in TOK essays)

IB Student: Yes! No more TOK for the rest of our lives!
IB Student #2: How do you know that?

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Quote #223

Discussing a valentines day party:

English Teacher: So if you bring valentines, bring one for everyone. I don't want one kid getting none and another getting 5.

Michael: But that's reality!

English Teacher: Be quiet Michael, I'm doing you a favor. You won't get any anyways.

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Quote #832

(after IB History Essay)

Teacher: Do you think you did well on the essay?

Student: haha...I'm sure you'll think so..

teacher: what?

Student: Well, you see...the point of an essay to to write things that will make you think that i actually knew what you were talking about...when in fact I just used my superior bull shit skills that i got from IB english to make my essay sound convincing..

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Quote #392

Female student to CAS Coordinator: What does pregnancy count for?
Male student: Can I count it as well?

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Quote #1722

An IB student says, "Guys, it's okay we don't sleep now. We'll be SO ready for college that we'll have the first two years of college work finished during the summer GOING INTO college... We can just sleep for those two years. I swear it all works out!..."

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Quote #1228

In IB, we start to forget grade school knowledge.

IB Student: Wait, caterpillars and butterflies are related?

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Quote #933

Baking a cake together for the IB Grad Dinner...

Isabel takes out a bar of cream cheese: Is the cream already whipped?
Patricia: ...Yes, that's why it's solid.


Isabel: Arg, the egg beater won't start!
Patricia: It's not plugged in.

IB logic outside of the classroom is questionable.

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Quote #1239

Student 1:Imagine what would happen if you stuck 50 IB students on a plane.
Student 2: That would be funny and i'd bring my video camera too.
Student 1: Why?
Student 2: So I could film the rest of the passengers jumping out the back door.

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Quote #731

Bard on the beach watching King Lear:

Kahan: You wanna know the difference between us and normies?
Maxim: We are smarter, more powerful, and we actually are culturally trained?
Kahan: No! When we go to these things, we actually want to watch, when the normies go, they just do it to make their parents pay the $15 and get outta class.
Maxim: But we got outta class too....
Kahan: We did something good with our lives...
Maxim: Watch a play with vacuum cleaners, guns, and business suits?
Kahan: Yah.

(5 minutes later)

English Teacher: What are you guys gossiping about?
Kahan: We are talking about the play, really!
English Teacher: Pfft. Tell me what you told Maxim then!
Kahan: We spent the time at the play very well and with a good purpose.


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Quote #1655

IB homework is like erectile dysfunction - you keep telling yourself that everyone is having the same problems as you.


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Quote #783

HL bio teacher on prokaryotes: SO what do we know about these kinds of cells? They are the STRIPPERS of the CELL WORLD!!! You know why? Because they have NAKED DNA *starts humming a stripper sounding song* .. and what shape do they have? a COIL.. around BALLS! because they're attracted to BALLS, these naked DNA! are what? STRIPPERS OF THE CELL WORLD :)

class: O_O

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