Browsing 50 random quotations.
"Wait... Who was the king between King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 16th?"
Vote: 53 | Permalink
The real purpose of the IB student is to develop masochism.
Vote: 107 | Permalink
The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsered by satan himself.
Vote: 1301 | Permalink
The key to a good IB History essay: SPERM
(S)ocial (P)olitical (E)conomic (R)eligious (M)ilitary
Vote: 266 | Permalink
(IN CLASS READING OF DRAMA TEXT)
Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.
Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)
Vote: 60 | Permalink
If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year...
Vote: 112 | Permalink
An Internal Assessment is not a medical procedure.
Vote: 76 | Permalink
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
Vote: 126 | Permalink
(In an argument over whether music is a language, being a system of symbols often used to convey messages, Jany argues that it isn't, and Mr. Oliver argues that it is.)
Mr. Oliver: There are many examples of music being used as a language, for example in Africa they use a drum that is stored the entire language of the people.
Jany: But that isn't music.
Mr. Oliver: How do you define music?
Jany: A system of sound that doesn't represent language.
Vote: 221 | Permalink
Lab reports soon start to look like a TOK paper:
"A few uncertainties and errors hindered our path to true knowledge and greater truth while observing the so-called 'lesser Beings' in the medieval Great Chain of Being, i.e. microbes."
Vote: 130 | Permalink
IB is like being ruled by facism:
Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.
Vote: 460 | Permalink
IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?
Vote: 245 | Permalink
Life is like a box of HL IB Chemistry. You never know what you're gonna get, but it'll probably suck.
Vote: 155 | Permalink
TOK student : Teacher I need to go to the toilet.
TOK teacher: Why do you need that?
Is it so necessary?
Ask yourself if you really need that.
Vote: 185 | Permalink
You know when your doing IB when:
You realised that it should be "you're", not "your" in the title, first time around
Everyone else will now look again.
Vote: 200 | Permalink
"I like this site, the quotes about procrastination are so funny, I'm so glad I don't procrastinate!
I've been reading this site for a half hour after I had stumbled upon it when looking up something to study before midterms tomorrow, and... oh, right..."
Vote: 82 | Permalink
You know your in IB when the coolest rap you ever heard was written by a classmate and it was about DNA replication.
Vote: 642 | Permalink
"Does being mugged count for CAS? What?! I'm helping the guy, aren't I?"
The British School of Rio de Janeiro
Vote: 80 | Permalink
Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.
Vote: 30 | Permalink
When lecturing on Pound's Cantos and Dante's Divine Comedy, paradiso terrestra, etc:
"You know what hell on Earth is? Hell on Earth is the IB program for eternity."
Vote: 66 | Permalink
IB student to math teacher: Sir, did you know that Einstien failed in math when he was a kid?
Math teacher: WELL EINSTEIN WASN'T IN IB!!!!!!
Vote: 251 | Permalink
If you are in IB and you ever find yourself without any homework to do one evening then one of the following events must be true:
1. You're forgetting something.
2. Something is wrong with your planner.
3. You're about to wake up in a few minutes.
Vote: 3182 | Permalink
Sex Ed teacher (one-day guest): So can anyone tell me what to do if there's a hole in the condom?
Non-IB Student: Throw it out and get another.
IB Student: RUN AWAY.
Vote: 56 | Permalink
SL & HL Biology class.
Topic was ecology and energy flow in a food web.
"So if we have 14 tons of vegetables and a mutant mouse eats them all you get 10% energy going to the mouse and 90% is lost. If an elephant then eats the mouse it gets 10% energy and 90% is lost. A Dragon might then eat the elephant and if this happens it will get 10% energy and 90% is lost. Now, if we choose to make Dragon meat-stakes, how many stakes would we get?"
The answer was 40 Dragon meat-stakes. He then proceeded to ensure that we wouldnÂ´t use this magnificent example in the finals.
Vote: -16 | Permalink
IB, smart enough to get it, stupid enough to stay.
Vote: 274 | Permalink
(During TOK class): Okay, I don't mean to be offensive... but I mean, the definition of art has a limit. If it sucks, then it's not art.
Vote: 170 | Permalink
Substitute: I used to teach from a chair on a table!
Substitute: I used to love to do crazy stuff! Which reminds me... I want a bagel and cream cheese...
Vote: -40 | Permalink
You know when you're doing IB when:
You start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.
Vote: 1441 | Permalink
You know you're in IB when:
You brag about how you did the entire Frankenstein annotation in one day, instead of doing it when it was assigned.
Vote: 263 | Permalink
Student #1: I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night.
Student #2: Really?
Student #1: Yeah. 5 hours.
Student #3: I was surfing google, because I was bored...but did you know that people our age are apparently supposed to be getting 9 hours of sleep?
Student #1: Who the hell gets nine hours of sleep?
Vote: 614 | Permalink
I BS CAS hours!
Vote: -42 | Permalink
IB coordinator and history teacher: World leaders are just like people: they make bad mistakes. Sometimes you gotta own up to your bad call. Ever made a decision where you looked back and you were like 'God, why did I make that decision? What possessed me to think that was a good idea!?'
Student: Yeah. Getting into IB.
Vote: 156 | Permalink
A Facebook conversation at about 1am, three IB kids working on the same history worksheet. One of them gets bleary and starts uttering random quotes:
Kaity: Claire, was your answer for #1 like, really short?
Claire: Like three sentences.
Sam: Damn mine was one.
Kaity: Mine too.
Kaity: . . .. Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. . . Hey! That's like now!!
Vote: 33 | Permalink
IB student 1 and IB student 2 are walking home together. IB student 1 is muttering to herself.
IB student 1: I have my History textbook, Hamlet, my Bio binder, my Physics textbook....
IB student 2: What's wrong?
IB student 1: *hands over backpack*
IB student 2: OMG!!! It's so LIGHT!!!!!!!
IB student 1: I think I forgot something.
IB student 2: Well you have your History textbook ...
Vote: 172 | Permalink
We you're in IB the phrase "I got five hours of action last night" means something completely different.
Vote: 2474 | Permalink
IB Student: Ahhhh Christmas holidays....now i can do my IOP, my IA, get started on the EE and hopefully not kill myself before the presents show up......I really hope i get that graphing calculator i asked for!
Vote: 173 | Permalink
Soccer coach writes |V| on the board.
Normal players: oh yay! 1 on 1!
IB players: what's absolute value of v?
Vote: 716 | Permalink
An IB student's AIM away message:
"You know what this feels like? It's like it's September 1939 and I'm Britain and he's Germany. I'm SO done with appeasement here."
Vote: 168 | Permalink
Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life
Vote: 956 | Permalink
Chemistry (note: not my idea)
A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.
Vote: 280 | Permalink
Student comes 20 minutes late to class: I'm sorry I'm late. I was waiting outside the classroom so as to not disturb the class.
Teacher: How nice...
Vote: 33 | Permalink
IB, where three hours is too much sleep.
Vote: 339 | Permalink
Guy runs down the hallway singing at the top of his voice during IA deadline period: Life is hard enough, for us.
His father, the IB coordinator, passes him: Life? You don't have a life. You're in IB2! Be quiet and no running in the hallways.
Vote: 56 | Permalink
IB Physics Teacher, giving out midterm grades: Isn't this exciting?! It's like American Idol!
Student (sarcastically): Yes, it's exactly like that.
Vote: 65 | Permalink
April 15, Halfway through math class:
Student 1: You know CAS forms are due today..
Student 2: Oh...oh whatever. That doesn't REALLY mean they're due, it just means they're due two weeks from now. It's a warning to get procrastinating IB students to start filling out their forms and getting signatures. I've done all 150 CAS hours over two years and not a completed form to show for it yet.
Student 2: [IB Coordinator] called my house last night to stalk me for my CAS forms and I'm afraid to walk down the hallway because she might find me!!!!!!
Student 1: That's nothing. She called my house first to get your phone number because she'd misplaced it.
Student 2: *shiver*
Vote: 356 | Permalink
AP World History Teacher: So, I tried having a discussion about China and the Olympics with second period, but I quickly learned they had no opinions. I hope you guys do a better job.
Student: Opinions? We only know facts!
Vote: 61 | Permalink
"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL
Vote: 41 | Permalink
Eighth-grader's mom: You know, you should think about doing IB next year.
Eighth-grader: I'm too smart to do IB.
Vote: 155 | Permalink
In biology class -
Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.
Vote: 23 | Permalink
Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.
Vote: 946 | Permalink