Browsing the latest submitted quotations.

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Quote #123

"A play is like a nose. The more you dig, the more you find." (on the blackboard after literature class)

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #122

(After hearing rumors of a Group 4 Project that lunch hour)

Student 1: What the hell is group 4?
Student 2: No idea but apparently we have to go to some meeting.
Student 3: Something to do with us doing some science project together.
Student 2: That's ok then I only do environmental systems.
Student 1: I need to do my World Lit 1.
Student 3: Well I donât give a @#£$ if you don't go just donât come asking me when you have no @£%&$"£% clue what to do.
Student 1 and 2: Meh I'll come then no need to do extra work trying to work out what to do in the first place.

Vote: Yay! -40 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #121

Music teacher: What's one important thing you remember about Wagner?

Student: He didn't like Jewish people.

Vote: Yay! -6 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #120

In Music...

Student: This song is SUFFERING and PAIN and DARKNESS and DEATH!!!!!

*begins playing Mozart's Rondo a la Turk*

Vote: Yay! 32 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #119

Student: Hey, did you see this? In his soliloquoy Hamlet goes from starting words with T's to W's to T's again and it's almost like a heartbeat!

English teacher: That's the point where even English nerds will say, "You might be reading too much into this..."

Vote: Yay! 227 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #118

Video in history: In Japan at the time, the philosophy was "American things, Japanese ideals"

Student: Now it's the other way around...

Vote: Yay! 48 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #117

Get online at 4 am...
find three of my IB friends still online.
one's away message says "finishing Internal Assessment"
the next, "procrastinating on Internal Assessment"
the last one, "finally done with Internal Assessment!"

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #116

From a website:
Procrastination is like masturbation.
It's a lot of fun until you realize you've just fucked yourself.

Vote: Yay! 2712 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #114

Movie in French....

Guy on screen: We were married in December 1939...... We first made love
in May 1939.

Naive IB student: Wait, did he just say that was BEFORE they were

Equally naive IB student: Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

Vote: Yay! 187 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #113

In biology class -

Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #112

Student 1: Hey! I've got a brilliant EE topic!
Student 2: Ah-uhm...
Student 1: It will be: Oedipus, the original motherfucker...
Student 2: ...

Vote: Yay! 731 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #111

Student: How do you change the page numbers in word?
Teacher: You go in, do something and click.

Vote: Yay! 85 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #110

Teacher: So what's Newton's Universal Law of Gravitiation?
Student 1: What goes up must come down? (as a joke)
[Teacher looks a Student 1 like she's stupid]
Student 2: Aaah, but what is up and what is down?
Student 1: Shut up, you've been doing too much TOK.

Vote: Yay! 345 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #108

IB is an invitation to suicide.

Vote: Yay! 89 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #107

[Imperial March Theme Song]

Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...


Vote: Yay! -18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #106


Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.

Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)

Vote: Yay! 60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #105

Sitting next to a pretty girl and talking for hours can feel like minutes but sitting on a hot stove for a few minutes can feel like hours. THATS relativity.

Vote: Yay! 51 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #104

[some question about chemistry eliciting some answer about chemistry]
Mark: Can we quote you an that sir?
Mr Dixon: No you can't, I know nothing, it's offical.
Mark: Can we quote you on that sir?

Vote: Yay! 72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #103

IB Smart, but IB Screwed.

Vote: Yay! 158 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #102

Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #101

History teacher: The atlatl was an important development, because it allowed spears to be thrown much further and more accurately. For example, it would be quite easy for me to hit that student smoking down there.

Student: They should make that into a stop-smoking campaign!

Vote: Yay! 43 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #100

Student (to teacher): Why are you so late?
English Teacher: Why are you so ugly?

Vote: Yay! 151 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #99

To be or not to be
'tis no longer a question:
IB, therefore, I suffer.

Vote: Yay! 151 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #98

Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?

Class: No...

Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!

Vote: Yay! 423 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #97

"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL

Vote: Yay! 41 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #96

IB, therefore I BS.

Vote: Yay! 711 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #95

IB Coordinator: MSN is the demise of my IB Program.

Vote: Yay! 27 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #94

IBS: Internal Bowel Syndrome

Vote: Yay! -39 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #93

Student: Haha, and then he was laughing so hard.

Math teacher: What are you doing?

Student: Nothing...


Vote: Yay! -67 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #92

TOK Teacher: Song lyrics today don't understand the SUBJUNCTIVE tense.. I mean, "homies", what IS that?!

Vote: Yay! 73 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #91

IB History Teacher: *sneezes* I'm allergic to students.

Vote: Yay! 45 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #90

History Teacher: By the end of Exam Paper Three you will not be able to find your hand.

Vote: Yay! 226 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #89

Chem HL Teacher: Any demonstration where the teacher may die is a good one.

Vote: Yay! 170 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #88

Student: Is that gunna be on the test?

Vote: Yay! -9 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #87

What we don't realize is, this is all just a huge scientific study to find out how much stress kids can be put under before they haul off and kill themselves. The idea is that they give students amounts of work that are impossible to achieve, and periodically add more and more work during times when key projects are due. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of it. I quit.
- Student to entire class

Vote: Yay! 796 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #86

English teacher is looking up a sex scene from Like Water For Chocolate: "Oh how ironic, its on page 69."

Half the class: "Whats so special about 69?"

Vote: Yay! 1166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #85

Student 1: In Shakespeare's Othello (pronounced Othayo) they come from the city of Venice (pronounced Venus).

Student 2: David, its OTHELLO, and VENICE. God, your an idiot.

[class hold back laughter]

Student 1: Oh!!! OK sorry. So Othayo...

[class bursts out laughing]

Vote: Yay! -12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #84

Student 1: And so obviously, there is a link between the "devil" in the book and that which appears in the Bible, although-

Student 2: Wait... the devil is in the Bible?

Vote: Yay! 30 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #83

"It's so random, it's Chinese."
- About a particular student's odd sense of, well, everything.

Vote: Yay! -47 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #82

History teacher wrote a confusing Russian name to the board that contained lot of xywz-letters.

Student: What kind of name is that?

Teacher: I didn't know how to spell it, so I made it up

Class: *erases the name away from the notebook*

Teacher: Do you believe everything I write on the blackboard?

Class: YES

Teacher: Seriously?

Vote: Yay! 679 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #81

Talking about the book Clockwork Orange in A1 language class.

Student 1: Actually, I don't know what a clockwork is
Student 2: I don't know what an orange is... Nevermind.

Vote: Yay! 10 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #80

"Why wasn't I in on this?!"
- Satan on IB

Vote: Yay! 403 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #79

Maths teacher joke:

Terrorists stop a bus full of passengers and succeed in getting all the passengers off the bus. When they come to the back of the bus, there is one passenger still there. The terrorists say "if you don't get off the bus NOW, we will differentiate and integrate you". The small passenger replies "I'm e^x".

Vote: Yay! 68 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #78

[stupid annoying girl who was not supposed to be in the class jumping around]

Physics teacher: She proves that mass is proportional to energy.

Vote: Yay! 83 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #77

Looking at an abstract picture:

Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!

Vote: Yay! 469 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #76

NO, I can't wake up yet, I don't have a conclusion.

(a thought I had just before waking up, didn't have a conclusion in whatever dream I was having).

Vote: Yay! 212 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #75

Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?

French Teacher: Umm, let me check.

Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?

French Teacher: Well, I forgot.

Vote: Yay! -75 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #74

Mrs. Mahone, cherfully, in response to a complaining class:
"Welcome to IB!!!"

Vote: Yay! -27 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #73

During a math class

Student 1: God you're stupid! How can you not get this quadratic?
Student 2: Suck my parabola!

Vote: Yay! 301 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #72

Ms. Preston- Are there any questions about the essay question in the Walden test?
Student- Whats the question going to be?

Vote: Yay! 35 Nay! | Permalink

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