Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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Student 1: And so obviously, there is a link between the "devil" in the book and that which appears in the Bible, although-
Student 2: Wait... the devil is in the Bible?
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Quote #83
"It's so random, it's Chinese."
- About a particular student's odd sense of, well, everything.
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Quote #82
History teacher wrote a confusing Russian name to the board that contained lot of xywz-letters.
Student: What kind of name is that?
Teacher: I didn't know how to spell it, so I made it up
Class: *erases the name away from the notebook*
Teacher: Do you believe everything I write on the blackboard?
Class: YES
Teacher: Seriously?
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Quote #81
Talking about the book Clockwork Orange in A1 language class.
Student 1: Actually, I don't know what a clockwork is
Student 2: I don't know what an orange is... Nevermind.
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Quote #80
"Why wasn't I in on this?!"
- Satan on IB
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Quote #79
Maths teacher joke:
Terrorists stop a bus full of passengers and succeed in getting all the passengers off the bus. When they come to the back of the bus, there is one passenger still there. The terrorists say "if you don't get off the bus NOW, we will differentiate and integrate you". The small passenger replies "I'm e^x".
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Quote #78
[stupid annoying girl who was not supposed to be in the class jumping around]
Physics teacher: She proves that mass is proportional to energy.
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Quote #77
Looking at an abstract picture:
Student 1: Hey it says TOK yo!
Student 2: Uh... it's Tokyo!
Student 1: @#$*!
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Quote #76
NO, I can't wake up yet, I don't have a conclusion.
(a thought I had just before waking up, didn't have a conclusion in whatever dream I was having).
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Quote #75
Student: Sir. For our french exam, how many essays do we need to write?
French Teacher: Umm, let me check.
Student: You're teaching IB french and have been for 3 years and you can't remember?
French Teacher: Well, I forgot.
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Quote #74
Mrs. Mahone, cherfully, in response to a complaining class:
"Welcome to IB!!!"
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Quote #73
During a math class
Student 1: God you're stupid! How can you not get this quadratic?
Student 2: Suck my parabola!
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Quote #72
Ms. Preston- Are there any questions about the essay question in the Walden test?
Student- Whats the question going to be?
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Quote #71
Coordinator: Hey Guys! There's a Blood Donation session tomorrow, I hope you can make it!
Student: Do we get CAS hours??
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Quote #70
English teacher: "So in House of the Spirits, you have Miguel and Alba, Pedro and Blanca, Nicolas and Amanda...it's an orgy of forbidden love!"
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Quote #68
“Imagination, initiative and creativity are not required and will be severely punished. This is the IB!” - History Teacher, HL revision session.
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Quote #67
The number 45 never looked so high until now...
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Quote #66
"Could you guys stop arguing over my head? I'm trying to READ"
A student in ITGS class, when another student was whining at the teacher
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Quote #65
Mr. Belbin: Hey guys, this article is very American because the author is American.
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Quote #64
Student 1: I'm scared of holding glass stuff because I'm afraid they'll break.
Student 2: Yeah, I'm scared of holding babies... you might hold them wrong, or drop them, or hurt them. That's why I always hold my babies when I'm sitting down.
Student: omfg... shit
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Quote #63
I.B is good for people with suicidal tendencies: instead of sitting down at 5pm to start a 2000-word essay and thinking, 'Oh my God, I want to die,' you sit down at 2am to start a 2000-word essay and all you can think is 'Oh my God, I want to sleep.'
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Quote #62
ib student: to what conlusion can we reach?
ib student 2: that a dog ..... is an animal
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Quote #61
ib student: sleep ... makes you sleepy
(40-point diploma student)
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Quote #60
Student 1: What's 2 times 9 again?
Student 2: Let me just get my GDC
Student 1: Wow ... we've actually forgotten how to think
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Quote #59
"You guys are data bulimics. You just swallow it and then spew it out for the test. It's disgusting."
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Quote #58
ToK in a Nutshell:
The Question: How do we know?
The Answer:We don't.
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Quote #57
Chemistry Teacher: You guys will start the group 4 project next week. You will learn how to socialize with others and have fun.
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Quote #56
Frank: Are you talking about the frog's photosynthesis?
(This took place after TOK)
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Quote #55
IB is like a new mattress. Hard at the beginning and you cannot sleep; but then it seems soft and you learn to rest.
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Quote #54
Literature Teacher: Nuns dress in black because they are all married with Jesus, who is dead.
Caesar: So Jesus is a polygam?
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Quote #53
Teacher: A catalyst is something that speeds up a chemical reaction, but it's not involved in the reaction itself.
Student: Um.. can you give us a real life example?
Teacher: Sure, I tell my son to clean up his room, he says no, I ask him nicely, he still says no, so then, I take out my belt and and ask him again, he runs up to clean it.
Student: O.o
Teacher: See, the belt it not never touched him, but it speeds up the reaction.
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Quote #52
Once on a msn discussion about math portfolio
Quan: How many words do you have?
I.W: 140k and adding
Quat:....O.O ....
I.W: almost level 26 what level are you?
Quan:.....(30 seconds later) 35 =.=
I.W: O woot? ...... rite ....math portfolio... lol 1.5k words right now....thought u were asking about .... ye anyways p.k?
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Quote #51
Physics teacher: One I was on the plane and I saw some lightning between clouds in the air. It was like fireworks, so pretty!
Class: So didn't you feel uncomfortable at all that you were in a metal thing in the air in a thunderstorm?
Physics teacher: Why would I be? A plane is in a cage, it is an insulator... (insert explanation about physics)... so the only risk is really rare, and is that the plane could catch on fire, but that's not going to happen.
Class: What about the people who DIDN'T know this on the plane...?
Physics teacher: How could they not have liked the lightning show?
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Quote #50
I absolutely HATE all people who have biased opinions.
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Quote #49
IB is like the morning run: you may be grudgingly putting on your sports cloths and regret bitterly about your stupid decision to do this pointless thing everyday while you are running , but in the end you still do it everyday.
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Quote #48
(on an MSN chat)
Person 1: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Person 2: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Person 1: Whoever types it first wins!
Person 2: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Person 1: Fuck you just copied it.
Person 2: huh..?
Person 1: Prove that you didn't copy it, you maker of logical fallacies!
Person 2: Me too.
Person 1: Started your math portfolio yet?
Person 2: What's a math portfolio?
Person 1: Fuck, wrong chat.
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Quote #47
TOK Teacher/ English teacher: You guys should have wrote it down.
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Quote #46
IB Coordinator: You can't go and screw around with the teachers!
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Quote #45
ToK teacher: In year three you have to be like wine bottles - mature.
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Quote #44
ToK teacher: (insert here a long, poetic and prestigious definition about what mathematics is). I think however that math... is a broccoli.
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Quote #43
Guy runs down the hallway singing at the top of his voice during IA deadline period: Life is hard enough, for us.
His father, the IB coordinator, passes him: Life? You don't have a life. You're in IB2! Be quiet and no running in the hallways.
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Quote #42
In a class before Christmas break of IB2 year:
Teacher: Have a good break. I'm sure you'll all study like hell during the break for the mock exams Christmas.
Student (mutters): Like hell we will.
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Quote #41
IB is like vegetables. It sucks but it's good for you in the long run.
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Quote #40
Naomi: Guys the end of the play says that, "I'd rather be dead than fat.......that's heavy"
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Quote #39
Ms Jelena: "If the Hells Angels had stock, I would buy so much of that"
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Quote #38
" A Wet Willy is like a French Kiss in the ear" -Chris Lee
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Quote #37
Person 1: Damn you! You're so not art.
Person 2: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Person 1: Of course. You're not art, which means you're not beautiful, you can't be interpreted, and that you weren't created by intent.
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Quote #36
Class: You know, lots of people can access that...
Mr. Belbin: I know what you guys mean, but it's not like any random Bloe Joe on the street knows how to use it.
Class: hahahahaha!!
Mr. Belbin: Sometimes I just don't understand you guys.
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Quote #35
Class: What do you mean by political influence?
Mr. Belbin: I mean, that if George's Bush decides to use this technology to monitor his citizens then it wouldn't be ethical.
Class: hahahahahaha!!!
Mr. Belbin: What are you guys all laughing at?
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Quote #34
(on MSN)
Person 1: Damnit more ITGS homework
Person 2: kawk
Person 2: *lawl
Person 2: omfg...
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