Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
‹ First < 17 18 19 20 21 >Quote #136
IB Student in Maths Studies.
Student 1: I can't remember how to add.
Student 2: What 2 and 3?
Student 1: Does anyone have a calculator?
Student 1: I AM IN MATHS STUDIES!!!
Student 1: It's just one of those days...
Vote:
39
|
Permalink
Quote #135
"We are living in a land of opportunity. We're practically swimming in fields of singles ready to mingle."
- Mark (on a conversation with Lauren about 3rd world countries and Lavalife)
Vote:
-11
|
Permalink
Quote #134
Student 1: Don't tell me the ending!
Student 2: To what?
Student 3: World War One!!!
-IB History students
Vote:
135
|
Permalink
Quote #133
"A person accidentally swallows a drop of liquid oxygen..."
-IB Chemistry gas practice problem
Vote:
44
|
Permalink
Quote #132
"Democracy is like sausage; it's one of those things we all love but don't want to see being made."
-IB History teacher
Vote:
80
|
Permalink
Quote #131
We you're in IB the phrase "I got five hours of action last night" means something completely different.
Vote:
1226
|
Permalink
Quote #130
A Facebook conversation at about 1am, three IB kids working on the same history worksheet. One of them gets bleary and starts uttering random quotes:
Kaity: Claire, was your answer for #1 like, really short?
Claire: Like three sentences.
Sam: Damn mine was one.
Kaity: Mine too.
Kaity: . . .. Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. . . Hey! That's like now!!
Vote:
23
|
Permalink
Quote #129
IB kids are basically super human. We can run on as little as one meal and four hours of sleep a day for a duration of two weeks.
Vote:
416
|
Permalink
Quote #128
So you're up at 2:00 AM finishing that project and you go to get your fifth cup of coffee. You add the almond flavoring and for a brief second you wish it was cyanide.
The fantasy comes to an abrupt halt when you are alive three seconds later and have to go back to the project.
Vote:
100
|
Permalink
Quote #127
When an IB Coordinator says "Jump!" an IB freshmen asks "How high?"
Two years later the IB Coordinator says "Jump!" and the IB Junior asks "Where's the nearest cliff?"
Vote:
1303
|
Permalink
Quote #126
Proof that IB has distorted your perception of the world:
History teacher draws squiggles on the whiteboard:
"Now what is that?"
Class: "Schleswig-Holstein!"
*Teacher adds a squiggle*
"And that?"
Class: "Jutland!"
Vote:
22
|
Permalink
Quote #125
Chemistry teacher: You can't break polyatomic ions! Unless you're God... but you're NOT GOD!!
Vote:
67
|
Permalink
Quote #124
What happens when IB students have too much information of great historical value:
IB History HL teacher, waving around a picture of a historical figure: "Who was General Weimar?"
...no answer from class...
someone murmurs: "A general?"
"Weimar is a town, you're so extremely stupid!!"
Vote:
-15
|
Permalink
Quote #123
"A play is like a nose. The more you dig, the more you find." (on the blackboard after literature class)
Vote:
32
|
Permalink
Quote #122
(After hearing rumors of a Group 4 Project that lunch hour)
Student 1: What the hell is group 4?
Student 2: No idea but apparently we have to go to some meeting.
Student 3: Something to do with us doing some science project together.
Student 2: That's ok then I only do environmental systems.
Student 1: I need to do my World Lit 1.
Student 3: Well I don’t give a @#£$ if you don't go just don’t come asking me when you have no @£%&$"£% clue what to do.
Student 1 and 2: Meh I'll come then no need to do extra work trying to work out what to do in the first place.
Vote:
-18
|
Permalink
Quote #121
Music teacher: What's one important thing you remember about Wagner?
Student: He didn't like Jewish people.
Vote:
0
|
Permalink
Quote #120
In Music...
Student: This song is SUFFERING and PAIN and DARKNESS and DEATH!!!!!
*begins playing Mozart's Rondo a la Turk*
Vote:
20
|
Permalink
Quote #119
Student: Hey, did you see this? In his soliloquoy Hamlet goes from starting words with T's to W's to T's again and it's almost like a heartbeat!
English teacher: That's the point where even English nerds will say, "You might be reading too much into this..."
Vote:
147
|
Permalink
Quote #118
Video in history: In Japan at the time, the philosophy was "American things, Japanese ideals"
Student: Now it's the other way around...
Vote:
26
|
Permalink
Quote #117
Get online at 4 am...
find three of my IB friends still online.
one's away message says "finishing Internal Assessment"
the next, "procrastinating on Internal Assessment"
the last one, "finally done with Internal Assessment!"
Vote:
191
|
Permalink
Quote #116
From a website:
Procrastination is like masturbation.
It's a lot of fun until you realize you've just fucked yourself.
Vote:
1364
|
Permalink
Quote #114
Movie in French....
Guy on screen: We were married in December 1939...... We first made love
in May 1939.
Naive IB student: Wait, did he just say that was BEFORE they were
married?
Equally naive IB student: Yeah, that doesn't make sense.
Vote:
120
|
Permalink
Quote #113
In biology class -
Girl: What is a placenta?
Boy: Something in your armpit.
Vote:
17
|
Permalink
Quote #112
Student 1: Hey! I've got a brilliant EE topic!
Student 2: Ah-uhm...
Student 1: It will be: Oedipus, the original motherfucker...
Student 2: ...
Vote:
425
|
Permalink
Quote #111
Student: How do you change the page numbers in word?
Teacher: You go in, do something and click.
Vote:
53
|
Permalink
Quote #110
Teacher: So what's Newton's Universal Law of Gravitiation?
Student 1: What goes up must come down? (as a joke)
[Teacher looks a Student 1 like she's stupid]
Student 2: Aaah, but what is up and what is down?
Student 1: Shut up, you've been doing too much TOK.
Vote:
225
|
Permalink
Quote #108
IB is an invitation to suicide.
Vote:
44
|
Permalink
Quote #107
[Imperial March Theme Song]
Student: Omg, here is Mrs. Lowrey!
Mrs. Lowrey: I find your lack of literacy disturbing...
[Strangling]
Vote:
-2
|
Permalink
Quote #106
(IN CLASS READING OF DRAMA TEXT)
Student: Also Mr, we need some decorations, such as erotic (exotic) fruits etc.
Class: (Utter silence, then a small sound, a growing cackle as students begin to realise that erotic is NOT the right word)
Vote:
31
|
Permalink
Quote #105
Sitting next to a pretty girl and talking for hours can feel like minutes but sitting on a hot stove for a few minutes can feel like hours. THATS relativity.
Vote:
21
|
Permalink
Quote #104
[some question about chemistry eliciting some answer about chemistry]
Mark: Can we quote you an that sir?
Mr Dixon: No you can't, I know nothing, it's offical.
Mark: Can we quote you on that sir?
Vote:
42
|
Permalink
Quote #103
IB Smart, but IB Screwed.
Vote:
83
|
Permalink
Quote #102
Chemistry Teacher: Just treat me like God.
Vote:
5
|
Permalink
Quote #101
History teacher: The atlatl was an important development, because it allowed spears to be thrown much further and more accurately. For example, it would be quite easy for me to hit that student smoking down there.
Student: They should make that into a stop-smoking campaign!
Vote:
29
|
Permalink
Quote #100
Student (to teacher): Why are you so late?
English Teacher: Why are you so ugly?
Vote:
106
|
Permalink
Quote #99
To be or not to be
'tis no longer a question:
IB, therefore, I suffer.
Vote:
66
|
Permalink
Quote #98
Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?
Class: No...
Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!
Vote:
247
|
Permalink
Quote #97
"Optics is just a big blur to me."
- Lucas on optics unit in IB Physics HL
Vote:
24
|
Permalink
Quote #96
IB, therefore I BS.
Vote:
377
|
Permalink
Quote #95
IB Coordinator: MSN is the demise of my IB Program.
Vote:
23
|
Permalink
Quote #94
IBS: Internal Bowel Syndrome
Vote:
-22
|
Permalink
Quote #93
Student: Haha, and then he was laughing so hard.
Math teacher: What are you doing?
Student: Nothing...
Math teacher: GET OUT YOUR F..F... FREAKING MATH REVIEW NOW.
Vote:
-39
|
Permalink
Quote #92
TOK Teacher: Song lyrics today don't understand the SUBJUNCTIVE tense.. I mean, "homies", what IS that?!
Vote:
55
|
Permalink
Quote #91
IB History Teacher: *sneezes* I'm allergic to students.
Vote:
22
|
Permalink
Quote #90
History Teacher: By the end of Exam Paper Three you will not be able to find your hand.
Vote:
142
|
Permalink
Quote #89
Chem HL Teacher: Any demonstration where the teacher may die is a good one.
Vote:
123
|
Permalink
Quote #88
Student: Is that gunna be on the test?
Vote:
-6
|
Permalink
Quote #87
What we don't realize is, this is all just a huge scientific study to find out how much stress kids can be put under before they haul off and kill themselves. The idea is that they give students amounts of work that are impossible to achieve, and periodically add more and more work during times when key projects are due. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of it. I quit.
- Student to entire class
Vote:
468
|
Permalink
Quote #86
English teacher is looking up a sex scene from Like Water For Chocolate: "Oh how ironic, its on page 69."
Half the class: "Whats so special about 69?"
Vote:
693
|
Permalink
Quote #85
Student 1: In Shakespeare's Othello (pronounced Othayo) they come from the city of Venice (pronounced Venus).
Student 2: David, its OTHELLO, and VENICE. God, your an idiot.
[class hold back laughter]
Student 1: Oh!!! OK sorry. So Othayo...
[class bursts out laughing]
Vote:
2
|
Permalink