Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
‹ First < 16 17 18 19 20 > Last ›Quote #193
When questioned on the matter, the young IB inquisitively replied,
"Social life? What is a social life?"
and postulated on the matter for the rest of the school year.
Vote:
19
|
Permalink
Quote #192
Non-IB: "IBs don't socialise."
IB: "Sure we do, but it's just in the library..."
Vote:
93
|
Permalink
Quote #191
"Is this side 1?"
"Of course it is, that's a f*cking unit circle."
Vote:
19
|
Permalink
Quote #190
When lecturing on Pound's Cantos and Dante's Divine Comedy, paradiso terrestra, etc:
"You know what hell on Earth is? Hell on Earth is the IB program for eternity."
Vote:
39
|
Permalink
Quote #189
"If you don't practice for the oral commentary (english), then you might as well get a big jar of vaseline, a rubber glove, and screw yourself over."
Vote:
20
|
Permalink
Quote #188
"I like this site, the quotes about procrastination are so funny, I'm so glad I don't procrastinate!
I've been reading this site for a half hour after I had stumbled upon it when looking up something to study before midterms tomorrow, and... oh, right..."
Vote:
41
|
Permalink
Quote #187
IB Physics Lecture: Force at a distance is "magic". Fields allow us to abstractly quantify the magic.
Student 1: Magic?
Student 2: We should remember to put that on the test.
Vote:
16
|
Permalink
Quote #186
(After HL Math teacher arrived at class, late)
Student: Thank the Lord you're here, sir. We just couldn't function without you.
Vote:
65
|
Permalink
Quote #185
Physics Teacher: SO, if we cut the wire that holds up the elevator you would be in a weightless sutiation... But then it would crash... So you really wouldn't have much time to enjoy your weightlessness.
Vote:
31
|
Permalink
Quote #184
*During a conversation on metaphisical statements in TOK*
TOK Teacher: I can't help but think that God is rather indifferent as to the amount of cabbage that you eat.
Vote:
23
|
Permalink
Quote #183
*In the middle of a lesson*
Chemistry Teacher: Does anybody have a potato?
Class: Huh?
Chemistry Teacher: ... *continues lesson*
Vote:
35
|
Permalink
Quote #182
TOK teacher: I remember I once met a woman who had a flashback from a bad trip. She got into the fetal position and thought she was a turnip.
Vote:
35
|
Permalink
Quote #181
Mr. Blackmon (TOK teacher): What is this desk made of?
Thelma: Cells!
*Numerous sighs and facepalms resonate throughout the room*
Vote:
35
|
Permalink
Quote #180
English Teacher: Hey guys I have alcohol -
*class turns in interest*
English Teacher: - and hand sanitizer for you to wash your hands.
*class turns away in dissapointment*
Vote:
75
|
Permalink
Quote #177
TOK Teacher: Every year we should sacrifice a virgin to the great god Xerox... Then perhaps the copy machine wouldn't break down.
Vote:
206
|
Permalink
Quote #176
Thelma: You know the saying 'You sound smarter if you don't say anything?'
Mike: Yes, ironic isn't it?
Vote:
34
|
Permalink
Quote #175
Javier: She's like, ADD in a can.
Steph: I'm concentrated ADD!
Javier, Mike: ...
Steph: Wait...
Vote:
18
|
Permalink
Quote #174
Substitute: I used to teach from a chair on a table!
Class: ...why?
Substitute: I used to love to do crazy stuff! Which reminds me... I want a bagel and cream cheese...
Vote:
-21
|
Permalink
Quote #173
In an English lesson on the Twelfth Night:
Teacher: So essentially this section is about the Countess mourning her brother's death.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Well you can tell she is nuts if she keeps throwing brine all over the place
Teacher: That's a reference to her tears actually.
40 pt. Diploma Student: Ahhh... *embarassed silence*
Student 2: You are so STUPID!
Vote:
-15
|
Permalink
Quote #172
During a TOK discussion
Student 1: I believe that opinions don't matter.
Student 2: So what you just said doesn't matter?
Vote:
187
|
Permalink
Quote #171
(While looking at a map of Europe in a History lesson...)
IB Diploma Student: Where's China?
Vote:
57
|
Permalink
Quote #170
IB, I'm Better.
Vote:
18
|
Permalink
Quote #169
Biology Teacher: Why have a life when you can read Biology? You're in IB, heaven's sake.
Vote:
29
|
Permalink
Quote #168
Andy: To be or not to be? That is the question. If you choose to be, don't choose IB.
Vote:
523
|
Permalink
Quote #167
IB Freshman: You know, I'm planning of getting 45 points.
IB Senior: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
IB Freshman: What's so funny?
Vote:
220
|
Permalink
Quote #166
What is IB? Alcatraz, and the subjects are the prisoners.
Vote:
19
|
Permalink
Quote #165
Writing a TOK essay is like being constipated. It hurts like hell and you produce crap very slowly.
Vote:
1842
|
Permalink
Quote #164
Bethany: I subconsciously began to annotate my newspaper at home because it didnt feel right to read something without making my own mark on the paper.
Vote:
50
|
Permalink
Quote #163
I want to commit suicide, but I'm too busy doing the IB.
Vote:
36
|
Permalink
Quote #161
The only thing holding us down is our backpacks!
Vote:
172
|
Permalink
Quote #160
IB Program = I be procrastinating!
Vote:
-3
|
Permalink
Quote #157
I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate.
Vote:
160
|
Permalink
Quote #156
This occurred randomly while walking through the mall.
IB Student: *pointing at other person's feet* Are those really actual shoes??
Vote:
-17
|
Permalink
Quote #154
Katie: So you know that's saying a lot if you're willing to eat a note for your country.
(Final Presentation on Women of the American Revolution)
Vote:
-10
|
Permalink
Quote #153
"IB is like an abusive husband, you know you should leave but you can't because you have a life together even if that life occasionally beats you, calls you names, and makes you feel like killing yourself."- Jordan S.
Vote:
816
|
Permalink
Quote #152
Student: Mr. Kent, my hand hurts from writing all these essays.
Mr. Kent: You think this is bad? By the end of senior year, when you get your diploma and shake my hand, you'll have a claw!
Vote:
47
|
Permalink
Quote #151
About the Senior Send-off Rally:
"We are here today to say good-bye to our bright futures."
Vote:
7
|
Permalink
Quote #150
Eighth grader shadowing an IB student: I think I'm going to take IB when I come here.
IB Student: Don't do it! Save yourself! Save yourself while you still can!!!
Vote:
23
|
Permalink
Quote #149
Only thing on the board during an IB final: "Breathe"
IB Physics student: Yeah right! Now where are the mechanics equations!?!
Vote:
52
|
Permalink
Quote #148
IB Bio teacher joke:
"I wish I were Helicase so I could unzip you jeans!"
Vote:
27
|
Permalink
Quote #147
Student 1: Your mother is so fat that the only thing attractive about her is her gravity.
Student 2: Your mother is so fat, that she collapsed her own dimension
Student 1: Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has the chance of reaching the speed of light
Student 2: Heh, well your mother is so fat that her Heisenberg uncertainty is zero.
Student 3: Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.
Vote:
121
|
Permalink
Quote #146
Student: Hey I came up with a joke! Want to hear it?
Physics teacher: Okay sure
Student: Okay, what happens when you get stabbed by 1 over T?
Physics teacher: You calculate the frequency of how much you get stabbed?
Student: No, it "hertz".
*class laughs*
Physics teacher: Hey you guys do you want to hear another joke?
Class: Sure!
Physics teacher: I just marked your quizzes.
Vote:
991
|
Permalink
Quote #145
The day I ditched school for homework.
Vote:
1815
|
Permalink
Quote #144
A two-carbon thing (acetyl group) and a four-carbon thing (citric acid) make a 6-carbon thing
-web site our teacher told us to use as a reference for our IB Bio work
Vote:
31
|
Permalink
Quote #143
The best response to impossible Chem HL questions:
"Here's another thing you taught me, how to brew up TNT. "
Vote:
19
|
Permalink
Quote #142
A friend in IB:
Applied math is physics.
Applied physics is chem.
Applied chem is bio.
Applied bio is FUN!
Vote:
21
|
Permalink
Quote #140
"He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How."
-Nietzsche
Maybe he was wrong?...
Vote:
10
|
Permalink
Quote #139
"Weimar was basically a World War One hangover."
-IB History teacher (Our Fearless Leader)
Vote:
39
|
Permalink
Quote #138
Maths Teacher after being asked about tree diagrams and how they work: It's like being
dyslexic once you know you can compensate.
Vote:
-2
|
Permalink
Quote #137
Maths teacher after deciding his students were working too quickly leaves the room to go and get more questions.
Student 1 drops her pen and lunges for her bag. Student 2 thinks she wants her calcualtor to work it out and quickly puts it on her table. Student 1 looks back up with a clementine.
Student 1: I didn't want a calculator, I wanted this! (holds up
clementine)
Vote:
-39
|
Permalink