Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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Tom (in English HL while working on a poetry commentary): This is the most BORING SHIT I have ever done in my whole life.
Katie: You obviously haven't started reading Virginia Woolf yet...
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Quote #355
IB = I Beer
IA = Internal AssAssment
EE = Extruded Essay
...
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Quote #354
In a Business & Management Class...
B&M and Physics student: Sir, what's the unit of the break even volume?
Teacher: Unit.
B&M and Physics student: No I mean, metres cubed or centimetres cubed.....?!?!?
The other B&M and Physics student: HAHAHAHA
B&M and other non-physics students: Huh??
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Quote #353
IB Student 1: I'm so getting a higher grade than in Physics this year. I'll duel to death if I have to.
IB Student 2: Ooh, I'll be Andrew Jackson, and you be Aaron Burr.
IB Student 1: No way, I want to be Andrew Jackson!
Non-IB Student: I will never understand you guys...
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Quote #352
IB Student: It took me 12 weeks to do my Research Paper for Inquiry Skills!
Non IB Student: How come?
IB Student: Well, it took 6 weeks for my Thesis Statement. 5 weeks and a half for my outline. Then half a week to write it! All the while doing research!
Non IB Student: What was the paper on?
IB Student: I have no idea....
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Quote #351
Non-IB student: So because I'm not in IB I won't be anything?
IB Student: Sure you will...you'd be my secretary.
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Quote #350
IB Maths student: Why did we do that?
IB Maths teacher: Because the question asked.
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Quote #349
Lachlan: Have you noticed IB students type/write down everything you say?
Music Teacher: Yes, it scares me.
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Quote #348
(IB student Daniel criticising grammar on this site)
"Not the best grammar...........oh shit, I'm becoming like them...!"
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Quote #347
"An economics lesson is like a current account... You get little or no interest."
- Economics teacher
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Quote #346
HL Biology Teacher: "As we all know, you IB kids are at least 1 standard deviation from the norm"
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Quote #345
Spanish A1 HL1 Teacher: What did you learn from The Stranger?
Student 1: To be honest with one self?
*class laughs*
Teacher: And you student 2?
Student 2: (thinks for five minutes( I have no idea...
Teacher: There are times in your life when you wish you where a taxi driver.
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Quote #344
Teacher: You see, the Maslow's pyramid of necessities explains that one cannot advance to self actualization unless you have completed the previous ones, like food, water, security, and sleep.
Student: WHAT ABOUT IB!?
Student 2: I haven't had a decent meal since September, I'm too busy studying or in the library.
Student 3: Water!? Water? I've replaced all beverages to caffeinated ones!
Student 4: Security! I've had three nervous breakdowns this week!
Class: AND SLEEP!??!?
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Curiously enough I had this epiphany while "day-sleeping" because I pulled an all-nighter to finish my IA for history, all when my English teacher lectured on Macbeth for the following commentary.
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Quote #343
American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.
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Quote #342
IB Student: I feel like it's an eternal battle between me and our IB Coordinator. It's like she's Andrew Jackson...and I'm Aaron Burr.
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Quote #339
"It's like a nebulous ring of nefarious warlords."
-IB Coordinator, on the fabled IB bureaucrats
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Quote #338
IB students don't procrastinate ... we just have an accute sense for prioritization.
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Quote #337
IB Co-ordinator: If you really want to you can read the Harry Potter books as a Creativity for CAS.
Student: Can that count as Service?
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Quote #333
Freshman Pre-IB Math
Student 1-What did the angel say to the other angle?
Teacher - Let's stop stalling for the test.
Student 1- NO! lets co-inside!
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Quote #332
How to bullshit an English Commentary:
1.) Find 2 themes that always work in every story. Reality VS Perception is a good one. Discovering Identity usually works for everything. If you give up, try sexual connotations.
2.) Find images that support it. The chair represents the isolation, which supports discovering identity. The book is an illusion because we can't see what's inside it, representing how life is covered up in mysteries. Include more as necessary.
3.) Find sounds, structure, or do anything. The indent in the paragraphs represent separation, supporting identity discovery as the narrator attempts to separate himself from the norm. The use of commas represent the pauses endured by the narrator, giving time to think, which represents reality of situations VS perceiving them. The "s" sound is a serpent. Say whatever you want with it.
4.) Anything that doesn't fit with the above is "contrast". Contrast is always used to support ideas, which are all the bullshit themes you came up with.
5.) Present everything you found in order. See, it's just like a physics lab!
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Quote #331
In a TOK presentation:
Music that is unmusical, is sort of like grammar. Like, when you are ungrammatical, it doesn't sound very good.
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Quote #330
I used to have a life. Then I started cheating on it with IB, and me and life got a divorce.
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Quote #329
French Teacher: Okay, the verb "soigner" means "to take care of".
French Teacher: Lets practice.
French Teacher: Est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?
Jane: Oui, je soigne mon chat.
French Teacher: Et toi, Marcus, est-ce que tu soigne ton chat?
Marcus: Oui, je soigne mon chat.
French Teacher: Et toi, Emile, est-ce que to soigne ton chat?
Emile: Oui, je soigne ma chat!
*Class laughs*
Marcus: Emile, we don't need to know what you do with your pussy..
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Quote #328
IB Student: Standard kids stress me out.
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Quote #327
Rising IB junior: So, can you give me any advice about IB English?
IB Senior: When in doubt, the answer is 'sexual repression'.
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Quote #326
IB French Teacher: Oh, you IB kids make everything so hard. French is as easy as putting butter in a hot pan.
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Quote #325
My A-Level seniors have slogan for IB students:IB no life...IB noob..
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Quote #324
"Sahm, vake up--vake up. No tahm to dreem ven zoo dohn't know Fraynch"
-IB French Teacher
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Quote #323
(IB Coordinator has just had a baby, and brought her to school).
Student 1: (to baby) Are you going to be in IB when you're all grown up?
IB Coordinator: Say, 'Dear God, no.'
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Quote #322
(French teacher passes out French test)
(Class realizes they have already taken this test)
Student 1: Madame, we've already taken this test.
Student 2: Yeah, it was our midterm.
(Class murmurs sounds of agreement)
Teacher: Oh, you're so picky, just take it.
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Quote #319
I came, I saw, IB.
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Quote #318
Student 1 points to a picture of a soldier: What's this?
Student 2: Well, ...that ...is called ...a MAN.
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Quote #317
Math class, talking about provincials:
Teacher: ...and when you're filling the numbers in on the bubble sheet make sure it's really clear what number it is, cause the computer can get it confused... don't make your fives look like eights.
Student 1: What about European sevens?
Teacher: Like with a dash through them? That's fine.
Student 2: What about asian fives?
Teacher: ...What the HELL is an ASIAN FIVE!?!
Class: ahahahhahhahahahhahahah lolololol
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Quote #316
In math class:
Student: This sucks, I used up all my IB days and now I don't have any to study for my exams.
Mr. Snow: I laugh in your general direction.
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Quote #315
IB student: ...the presentation is absolutely horrific. No eye contact and the absolute wrong tone of voice. At one look you would think she is targeting teenagers but if you look a bit deeper you can see that... Therefore we can conclude that...
Non IB Student: Dude, you just analysed a 30 second TV advertisement in 2 minutes. What kinda school do you go to?
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Quote #314
An angry student: WOW, if I graphed out my hate for that teacher, in relation to time, it would have an increasing slope.
Or EVEN a curve!
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Quote #313
*After 3 hours of explaining the Rate Determining Step in HL Chemistry...*
Student: I still don't get it!
Chemistry Teacher: Let me put it into simpler terms. If I were to fill this room with cyanide gas, or start hosing you guys down with sulfuric acid, or drop some of the potassium sample into that sink over there, the rate determining step in you guys getting out of this room would be dependent upon the size of the exit or how generous I'm feeling right now.
Student: *gulp*
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Quote #312
IB Coordinator: After you finish your Extended Essay, you will have put about 40 hours of work into it.
Student: Do we get CAS hours?
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Quote #310
Sacrifice for the Glorious IB
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Quote #309
The realization of actually being in IB hit me when I decided not to wear my seatbelt in the car becuase I would prefer to go to the hospital rather than go to school.
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Quote #308
IB student: So yesterday was the worst day of my life.
Honors student: What? Oh my goodness! What happened, are you ok?
IB student: Oh yeah, when you are in IB the worst day in your life happens, like everday.
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Quote #307
(While discussing "Their Eyes were Watching God")
Student: I am going to do my project on Janie's relationships and how they are sexist.
IB English Teacher: You are going to research how their sex is?!!!
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Quote #306
Teacher: Guys, be quiet. The seniors are giving orals in the closet.
Class: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Quote #305
(IB Student's Mom is looking at his progress report)
Mom: You have a D in English!
Student: Yeah, I know. It's okay.
Mom: It is?!
Student: Yeah, everyone else has a D too.
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Quote #304
(In IB HL Chemistry class)
Student 1: When is our test for this unit?
Chem Teacher: Thursday.
Student 2: But we have an APUSH test that day!
Student 3: And an English quiz!
Chem Teacher: Sorry, guys, I can't change it.
(Students groan and generally complain)
Chem Teacher: You guys are going to be really upset in a minute.
Student 1: Why?
Chem Teacher: I have your grade printouts.
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Quote #303
This happened on MSN during one bleak night where an english essay was due the next day...
Tabz: Whats a noun?
Lucas: A naming word thingo... I dunno...
Tabz: omfg... there goes my mom's years of grammar correction...
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Quote #302
Teacher to Students: Stop the violence or I'll hit you!
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Quote #301
(Sitting in lunch room, three students having a heated discussion about TOK)
Student 1: What solid proof do you have that man did land on the moon?!
Student 2: Compare yours to mine, a**hole!
Student 3: Will you both shut up?!!? If you dont, I'll spork you!
Student 1 & 2: O_O
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Quote #300
The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsered by satan himself.
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Quote #299
In an IB English A1 HL class.
Student: So, the poet means to say that God is dead... and gay!
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