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There comes a time in one's life where it is deemed neccessary to break into school to get back to the lab on a sunday morning (complete with hangover) and do group 4. This may also be referred to as IB-induced psychosis, the prognosis is bleak...
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Quote #250
In a physics class about elementary particles:
Student: Do these particles move faster than the speed of light?
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Quote #249
TOK teacher: "The most disruptive member of society is the male member."
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Quote #248
Mrs. Hardee, I think Dantes is the Count of Monte Cristo!
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Quote #247
One day during ToK, we were answering our prescribed titles in groups.
ToK Teacher: I've been looking at some of your answers that you've come up with, and you're all just writing down psychobabble! You have to UNDERSTAND your topic!
Student (behind teacher's back): Well, you're getting only psychobabble answers because that's what this entire course is based on: PSYCHOBABBLE.
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Quote #246
Steph: *throws grape in air, attempting to catch it in mouth. It falls to the ground.*
Steph: Meh, I'll throw it away.
*Tosses it at the trashcan, but instead it bounces of the side of the keyboard, off the frame of her bed, and lands at her feet*
Steph: Ok... no one saw that...
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Quote #245
Mike: *Throws grape in air and catches it with mouth*
Steph: Ooh! Let me try! *Throws grape in air... doesn't come down.*
Mike + Steph: What the fuck!?
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Quote #244
*intense discussion in chemistry class*
Student to Teacher: What's the formula for cocaine?
*3 mins later, with the whole white board covered in crazy leters and numbers*
Teacher: ...
Class: o.0
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Quote #243
Mike: May I have another cookie?
Johana: Sure, here-
Ms. Lauter: Why are you giving him one? He's always making fun of you!
Johana: *Hands cookie* My cookies are golden!
Mike: They look more like white to me...
Johana: That's because I put alot of frosting!
Ms. Lauter: But you deserve it...you really do.
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Quote #242
Javier: From now on, we'll refer to Thelma as New Orleans.
Mike: Uhm...why?
Javier: Well, as you know, New Orleans is also known as "The Big Easy".
Mike: That..is...BRILLIANT.
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Quote #240
Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.
*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*
Mike: DINOSAUR NAZIS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
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Quote #239
Blackmon: ...Such as Homo erectus.
Johana: *laughs*
Blackmon: I really do not even WANT to know what you're thinking...
Johana: *laughs more*
Blackmon: Hilarious as the name is, Homo erectus was our ancestor.
Johana: Wait...what? Really?
Students: OMFG! RETARD!
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Quote #238
Blackmon: The district has never done anything right! Hello, the FCRAP?!?!
Johana: The what?
Blackmon: FCRAP?
Johana: Don't you mean the FCAT?
Blackmon: Wow! REALLY? *sighs*
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Quote #237
Teacher is explaining differentiation to the class
SL Maths Student: Are we ever going to use this in real life?
Teacher: Of course.
SL Maths Student: When?
Teacher: In the exam.
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Quote #236
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
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Quote #235
Iwan: Oh, I thought it was a typo
Teacher: I'm not typing on the board
Iwan: Oh, I meant a hando... oh...
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Quote #234
Iwan (to math teacher) : How do you explain THIS?
Teacher: Your calculator's not on?
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Quote #233
Sometimes I wonder about German people shouting out G6 while playing battleship.
(One of my random thoughts in German class while learning letters and numbers)
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Quote #232
MYP: Because our school wasn't properly cheesy enough.
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Quote #231
Maths Teacher: Your answers are like God, they have no beginning and no ending.
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Quote #230
I BS CAS hours!
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Quote #229
"Wait... Who was the king between King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 16th?"
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Quote #228
You know you're in IB when you start analyzing newspaper articles!
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Quote #227
While you lot are adding quotes, some of us are doing our work!
(from Tino Tenda and Saquib Ali)
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Quote #224
IB Spanish Student 1: How do I address the person in the start of my letter?
IB Spanish Student 2: Cuidado amiga
IB Spanish Student 1: "Caution" friend?
IB Spanish Student 2: Wait, that's on the wet floor signs... oops.
(The word they were looking for was "querido")
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Quote #223
Discussing a valentines day party:
English Teacher: So if you bring valentines, bring one for everyone. I don't want one kid getting none and another getting 5.
Michael: But that's reality!
English Teacher: Be quiet Michael, I'm doing you a favor. You won't get any anyways.
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Quote #222
IB English student: *Looking at a coke bottle* It's amazing what paradoxes exist in this soft drink container. It appears phallic in shape, thereby appealing to a consumer's primal desire for unmasked masculinity, yet its function as a receptacle allows us to construe it as a uterine symbol, belying our innate fascination with the feminine form.
Non IB English student: Dude, I just buy it 'cos of the hot chicks in those TV ads.
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Quote #221
Friday night I went out, got drunk, got home about 2 AM. Saturday morning I crawled out of bed and went to school to work on my EE. Thanks, IB!
Yours truly,
Fletch.
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Quote #220
Just when you think you have finished your work and life start to look a bet better, another IA is laid in front of you along with five other assignments and tests.
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Quote #219
Thelma after dropping out of IB
Thelma: Hey, I can't stand Math Studies anymore, that's why I dropped out .
Student: Wow that sucks.
Thelma: Yeah, and I heard that AP Geometry and AP Algebra at my friend's school are so much easier.
Student: -_-
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Quote #218
Student to Maths Teacher: It's just so confusing! I hate maths, I mean how do you explain... THIS!? (holds up calculator)
Maths Teacher: Your calculator's switched off?
Student: %*^#
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Quote #217
Light is a wave on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and a particle on every other day! WTF?
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Quote #216
Non IBer: Yeah, dude there was a lot of multiplying and dividing with her last night. If you know what I mean.
*IB student walk up*
IB Student: Oh, nice. So you and your girlfriend were working on your math homework last night.
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Quote #215
Sr. B: IB is like eating an elephant. You must take it one bite at a time.
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Quote #214
I don’t even complain about IB anymore. It’s just a part of my life and I can’t even remember how life used to be…before I used to moan and whine about the program and wish I could have my life back. I can’t even remember what “life” is anymore. It has sucked all optimism and fun out of my teenage life…wait what life? Although insanity does have its perks…try bursting into tears of laughter after stories that have no meaning or significance except to keep us from doing our work.
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Quote #213
A student is pretending to cough into a napkin with answers written on it.
Teacher: Um, are you alright?
Student: Oh um the napkin? Yeah um, yes I'm fine.
Girl with multi-touch e-ink interface in the nutrition section of her drink: You know, this has wifi as well.
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Quote #212
Personally right now I've given up on IB....most of my colleges dont even require it!!!
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Quote #211
IB stands for internationally bitch-slapped.
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Quote #209
GAHHH....GRRR.....ANGER. (Psych teacher refering to IAs)
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Quote #208
Geography Teacher: Why is deforestation such a problem?
Student: Because people are cutting down trees
*laughing*
Teacher: Yes, because the word deforestation means to cut down trees. But why are people cutting down trees?
Student: Because they have nothing better to do.
*Cue even more laughter*
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Quote #207
During a break in the biology mock exam:
IB Student 1: What's evolution?
IB Student 2: It's when we finish this exam and half of us drop dead so that only the people who are smart enough move on to the next mock.
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Quote #206
History teacher: "By the end of IB, you're going to know Stalin better than your own grandfather!"
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Quote #205
A Math teacher at RHS:
Biologists think they're chemists
Chemists think they're physicists
Physicists think they're God BUT
God thinks he's a mathematician!
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Quote #204
I didn't know what IB was all about until I looked up at the ceiling in IB Latin American History.
Someone had scribbled on the ceiling : I read and still got a zero.
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Quote #203
Chemistry SL Teacher: The forces of attraction between the sheets..
Class: hahahahahaha
Teacher: OK seriously you're in IB it isn't as if you haven't heard worse in English class.
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Quote #202
IB...keeps laughing at me while doing me anally ='(
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Quote #201
TOK Teacher (about "general truths"): Well, quartz is a metal, everyone agrees with that...
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Quote #200
An Internal Assessment is not a medical procedure.
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Quote #199
IB First Year: There's so much work, I'm barely eating!
IB Second Year: Pah, I gave up on food. My current survival is due to copious amounts of coffee and a f*ckload of cigarettes.
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Quote #198
During a review period in English class.
IB student: Horse cow testicles
The rest of the students and teacher: HAHAHA!!!
IB student: I mean cow horse!
*laughter continues*
IB student: Damn it!!!
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