Browsing the latest submitted quotations.

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Quote #2048

Student in Year 12 HL Maths, in exam period:

"I hate maths. It's the only subject I can't study in the shower."

Vote: Yay! 281 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2042

You know you're in IB when it's the morning of your birthday, and you're staying up doing your homework.

Vote: Yay! 461 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2039

M/ib kid: You're as sweet as 3.1415926535897!
K/non-ib kid: No...just no.

Vote: Yay! 257 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2038

IB pickup line:
You must be chlorine cause you are polarizing my bond!

Vote: Yay! -74 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2036

You know your IB when you start insulting each other with genetic disorders.

HAHA! You have Kleinfelters!!!!

Vote: Yay! 283 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2035

You know you're in IB when you psychodynamically analyse your classmates TOK doodles.

Vote: Yay! 182 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2030

( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)

Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.

Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?

Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?

Vote: Yay! -57 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2029

You KNOW your in IB when its the first day of summer vacation and your stressing about the classes you're going to take next year.

Vote: Yay! 380 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2027

You know you're in IB when you can text faster on your calculator than your phone.

Vote: Yay! 624 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #2024

you know you're in IB when you find the quotes on this website better than those on

Vote: Yay! 1509 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1998

You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.

IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon

Vote: Yay! 274 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1994

J: Omg the jokes on are SO relate able and funny!
A: Yeah iv read all of them 3 times and made notes on them
H: now THATS what the IB does to you! AAGH!

Vote: Yay! -231 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1986

You know you have been in IB too long when you think a guy's TI n-spire is sexier than his Mustang Convertible.

Vote: Yay! 313 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1982

How not to get your Business IA done-
To the tune of Bubbly by Collie Caillat:

Procrastinated for a while now
I really should go do my essay now
But every time I see that white blank page
My mind wanders to another place

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Our teacher can be really really vague
Don't understand half the things he say
Rambles on so very boring-ly
We're so confused why can't he see?

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

What am I gonna say?
Only knew 'bout this yesterday!
I just...... AGRRHHHH!!!!

Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go

Been writing this for a while now
I think I just took my break right now
That essay cannot so itself
I'll use Wikipedia for some help

Old Wiki might know
And I better go
And do this horrible essay so
My grades ain't so low
My teacher gives me the shits
And has halitosis
Oh god yeah

I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
Won't be done for a while
That don't make me smile.....

Vote: Yay! 317 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1979

IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?

Vote: Yay! 248 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1976

You know you're in IB when the only type of 45 you can get is number of thumbs-ups on

Vote: Yay! 480 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1975

What is the difference between life and school?
In school you are taught a lesson and given a test
In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson

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Quote #1960

AP students wet their pants when they see their workload.

IB students wet their pants because they have no time to go to the toilet.

Vote: Yay! 1365 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1955

IB is like a mafia family
one crooked, messed up family
and once you are in, there is no turning back
and if you do leave, IB will find you one way or another

10th IB DHS

Vote: Yay! 420 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1954

Only in IB is the threat:
"I'll smash your graphing calculator!"
More effective than a gun to th head.

Vote: Yay! 752 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1952

Lunch time study session:
A: "GOD, why are we spending so much time discussing existentialism?!"
B: "So we pass the IB English Exam, get our IB Dimploma, and get accepted to an Ivy League."
*C: "You know, the whole 'you'll get into a great college' thing is probably just something that we've trained ourselves to say so that we don't smask our heads in with our Chem books."
A: "You've ruined my inner peace."
B: "Ahh, but if you followed existentialist beliefes you wouldn't be influenced by her rational thought."
A: "If I were an existentialist I wouldn't be in the IB."
C: "I hate you so much"

Vote: Yay! 197 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1950

Student: I wish you would conserve paper more, you don't have to hurt the trees!
Teacher: Well, "teacher" is derived from the Portuguese word for "tree-killer."
Student: Really???
Teacher: No. But I do plant a tree for every thousand papers I use.
Student: Really???
Teacher: No!!

Vote: Yay! 114 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1942

Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D

Vote: Yay! 428 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1941

Being an IB student is like being a kamikaze: They will tell you it's for some greater good, but the truth is you're on a mission to kill yourself.

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Quote #1939

A scientist needed a young pre-university research assistant to go with him to the Amazonian rainforest for an expedition, and had narrowed it down to two people.

"Now we need a research team; to see which of you I'm going to take, I want both of you to go off and find a team;I'll need a biologist and a chemist, to conduct research; a mathematician, to analyse the statistics involved; a Spanish speaker so we can find our way around, an Economist to evaluate to social impact of our findings; and someone proficient in English who can publish my work for me. Off you go!"

2 weeks later the two hopefuls return. One has his team of 6, all young, budding enthusiasts in their fields with excellent GCSEs and A levels in their specific areas.

"Excellent" The scientist comments, "Your team seems well suited." The other is just standing there by himself. The A leveller looks at him bemused, but is quietly smug - clearly he has failed to find anyone to help him. The scientist turns to him and says "I don't understand... I told you to go out and find a mathematician, an economist, a scientist, and a linguist?"
He replies "Exactly. I do the IB."

Vote: Yay! 750 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1934

IB physics multiple chioce Answer Key:

1-20 A,B,C or D

20-30 B.S.

Thanks Mr. LoGalbo

Vote: Yay! 44 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1932

Econ teacher: When investing in stocks you should look for things that are inelastic... like porn.

Student: Porn makes me inelastic.

Vote: Yay! -77 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1929

People who take Math SL are smart people. They know their limits.
~ Carl Frolund, 12th Grader at MKIS hahahahha good luck on exams Carl!

Vote: Yay! 235 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1927

IB chemistry student: YOU BORON!

Vote: Yay! 445 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1925

(in ecosystems & societies)

Teacher: What kind of plant is that?
Student: A mushroom.
Teacher: That's not even a plant.
Student: A fungi.
Teacher: That's a totally different kingdom!
Student: Narnia!
::class bursts out laughing::

we ib kids are so smart....

Vote: Yay! 278 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1922

Facebook Status: On a date with my World Lit Paper <3

Vote: Yay! 344 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1921

You know you are in IB when you make each major assignment a verb.
Non IB Student: "Hey, what are you up to?"
IB Sutdent: "oh, im just world litting, about to be IAing."

Vote: Yay! 299 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1920

IB student to math teacher: Sir, did you know that Einstien failed in math when he was a kid?

Math teacher: WELL EINSTEIN WASN'T IN IB!!!!!!


Vote: Yay! 255 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1917

Student 1: Hey! Someone quoted me on IBQuotes!

Student 2: Cool. *Hifive* They quoted you wrong though...

Student 1: They ruined the joke! Noooooo!!!! ...

Vote: Yay! -277 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1916

you know youre in IB when you start reading your ToK essay just for fun, and then try to think of an argument against it.


Vote: Yay! 252 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1914

IB Math Teacher: Come on guys you know what to do first!
(Class stares blankly)
IB student 1:Well if we divide by ....
IB student 2:No this is not that kind of problem!
(More blank stares)
IB Math teacher: Come on guys, It starts with an F and ends in an OIL!!!!!

Vote: Yay! 69 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1912

"You know you're in IB when you hope that someone will get swine flu, because then everyone would get swine flu and you wouldn't have to go to school for a week."

Vote: Yay! 289 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1907

Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='

- by Sahiti

Vote: Yay! -35 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1904

A WWF Representative once present their symbol to IB students.

WWF Representative: What do you see?
IB Student: It's one of Gestalt Principles, closure. That is when the viewer's perception completes a shape.

Vote: Yay! 24 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1902

[In IB Physics HL, discussing entropy.]

Ms. D: So, imagine that you have a layer of salt and a layer of pepper in a jar. And then you shake it all up so that it's completely mixed up! How do you separate the salt and pepper into layers again?

Preston: Easy. You can just centrifuge it. And then because of the difference of masses, the salt and pepper will separate.

Max: Or you can put a charge on a spoon and attract the pepper particles to it. And the salt won't be attracted because it's not charged... as much.

Brian: Or you can eat it!

Amanda: I think the answer you're looking for is no. It's impossible.

Ms. D: Thank you!!!

Vote: Yay! 97 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1901

Only in IB will three or four students start a discussion about the political ideologies of various superheroes, at which point the rest of the class will join in.

Vote: Yay! 186 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1900

only in IB does "homework catch up day" count as a reason for an excused absence

Vote: Yay! 246 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1899

only in IB will you find kids writing in all surfaces of the auditorium during a senior assembly trying to finish their chemistry write up

Vote: Yay! 82 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1898

Non-IB Student: I just got 75 hours of community service for getting caught drinking last month.
IB Student: I've got 150 to do.
Non-IB Student: DAMN, what'd you do?!

Vote: Yay! 497 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1896

"The International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme (PYP) is designed for students aged 3 to 12"

HAHAHA, who are they kidding? poor 3 year olds.

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Quote #1894

you know when you're in the IB when you take HL Math and someone younger than you comes up to ask you about a simple y=mx+b problem and you completely space about how to solve the problem.....

J Peterson- IB Junior

Vote: Yay! 190 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1892

you realize you're in the IB when:
1. instead of flirting, you make maths jokes
2. you are proud of being in maths studies
3. your bed is your desk, your floor is your closet, and your desk is lost
under piles of redbull tins.

Vote: Yay! 289 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1890

You can't be stalin if you're russian!

communism is never right because fascism never left

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Quote #1889


IB's attempt to turn having a life into a homework assignment

Vote: Yay! 467 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1887

Only an IB student would:

Read a book and get confused, because they think that "etc" stands for "electron transport chain".

Vote: Yay! 184 Nay! | Permalink

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