Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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You know the IB has got you when somebody says "skeet" and the first thing you think of is the Olympic Sport...
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Quote #515
School shooter? I'm too fucking busy to be a school shooter!
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Quote #514
Before starting your exams, remember this. You are the baby seal and your marker is the Canadian with a big stick with a hook on the end of it.
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Quote #513
IBS - IB Syndrome
Sufferers often suffer from acute stress, paranoia, sleep deprovation and caffine highs.
- On friend's Advil bottle
(To friend: Does this thingy take HTML?
Friend: *Reading manga* How would I know? I'm trying to procrastinate over here!
To Friend: 0.o Sorry...)
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Quote #512
In IB History Class while writing an in class essay......
*A student outside is screaming*
The class all looks toward the window
Ms. Zarcone looks up from her desk to say "Don't worry, it's an IB student"
*The class laughs*
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Quote #511
TOK teacher: In case you haven't noticed, humans are not very smart people.
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Quote #510
There's a reason it's called Motrin IB.
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Quote #509
What men love to see in women: their Y=X^2. (shaped like a "camel toe")
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Quote #508
In a HL maths class:
Student 1: 8 divide 2 is...16!
Student 2: haha! you're an idiot, why are you doing HL maths?
5 minutes later:
Student 2: what's one to the power of five?
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Quote #507
3 weeks before the World Lit. is due:
Student: What's World Lit?
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Quote #505
*a teacher is explaining about metallic bonding to Chemistry students*
Teacher: Metallic bonding have high conductivity because of the sea of electrons
Student: ...
*the teacher keeps explaining*
Student: ... *looking confused and look at the teacher*
*the teacher keeps explaining further*
Teacher: The low ionization energy, malleability and ductility are also because of the sea of electrons *writes 'sea of electrons' on the whiteboard*
Student: OHHH!! It's sea of electron. Now it makes sense... I thought you said C of electrons.
Other classmates: bleh -_-"
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Quote #504
IB math, you only get it after the test!
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Quote #503
IB student: Enjambent... Yes, I believe it to be a silent 'J'.
IB HL English Teacher: Actually, it's a silent 'B'.
Class chuckles
IB student: IT WAS A JOKE!!!!
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Quote #502
Non IB student: DBQ....a barbeque for people with D's?
IB student: NO, no, no. It's an essay or personal written source where we gather information from a specific historic document, photgraph, piece of art, or book. You then take every little bit and detail and carefully analyze it until you can't go any further in depth. You then present in a carefully written essay that demonstrates your understanding and depiction of the document or source.
Non-IB student: What the fuck are you on?
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Quote #501
IB, where three hours is too much sleep.
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Quote #500
Remember seventh grade, when five pages was too much, and now it's eighth grade, and we've got to have thirty pages done on the first night to meet Mr. Unmack's requirements... Damnit, I gotta type that damn fairytale, it's only 45,000 words long!
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Quote #499
I.B., where an A- isn't enough!
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Quote #497
After months of envying the IB Enviromental Systems Kid's easy course work, Us IB Physics kids finally had something to hold over them:
Rocket Launching!!!!!
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Quote #496
I sold my soul to take IB Physics, and all I got was flavor blasted Goldfish.
(During the break between paper 1 an 2 during the IB exam)
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Quote #495
Chemistry Teacher: ...then we will have to add HCl
Jason: What's HCl again?
James: It's Highly Concentrated Liquid, dumbass!
Jason: Ooh, ok....*writes down*
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Quote #494
In HL Physics. A class of 11 students. The teacher and all the students are male except for me.
Chapter on Quantum and Nuclear Physics.
"... And so you have quarks which make up hadrons. Now, you have many different kinds of hadrons like baryons and mes--"
*genuinely puzzled* "Sir, sir, wait. I don't understand. What are *looks at notes* hard on--"
Whole class bursts into laughter. "-- I MEAN hadrons?"
'Hard on! He said hard on! AHAHA!'
'Ahaha, Jerome, you're an idiot.'
'Jerome! It's HADrons!'
'Hard on... Ahaha'
''What is a hard on'... Ahaha. You don't know what a hard on is, Jerome?'
Then they start noticing my presence and become uncomfortable.
I think I laughed the hardest.
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Quote #493
(Day that a math's portfolio was due)
IB Student 1: So, how many of hours of sleep did you get last night?
IB Student 2: I haven't slept in two weeks.
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Quote #492
IB Student 1: Is light a particle or a wave?
IB Student 2: Yes!
Non-IB Student: Haha you idiot! You can't even answer a "this or that" question properly.
All IB Students: There's so much irony it hurts.
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Quote #491
Why did you decide to enter to IB course?
Because the whip and hot wax on the already bored me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
¿Por qué decidiste meterte al BI?
Porque el látigo y la cera caliente ya me aburrían.
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Quote #490
<<00XXXX-XX>> My number of convict
--------------------------------------------------------
<<00XXXX-XX>> Mi número de presidario
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Quote #487
Teacher: I feel like a sewage worker every time I grade your papers: No matter what I do, I have to wade through all of your crap.
Student: What do you expect, it's TOK!!!
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Quote #486
When I think about the pile of work I have left, I feel like crying...
...until I realize that I can't even spare the time needed to cry.
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Quote #485
If you think you're doing the IB, you're wrong. The IB's doing you.
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Quote #484
ToK
Student 1: Relativity makes no sense.
Student 2: In comparison to what?
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Quote #483
Preceding a presentation in a geography class...
Josh: Simon says, put your hand on your nose.
(Students all put their hands on their noses.)
Josh: Why'd you do that? I'm not Simon..
5 minutes later..((presentation has started))
Colin: Wait a minute... are you the representative of Simon?
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Quote #482
*Student 1 fails his HL Physics test*
Student 1: Sir, we never learned this in class...
Teacher: I know.
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Quote #481
Calculus teacher, working out a difficult problem: Okay, I don't know where I'm going, but this is where I'm ending.
Student: Deep.
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Quote #480
IB Physics Teacher, giving out midterm grades: Isn't this exciting?! It's like American Idol!
Student (sarcastically): Yes, it's exactly like that.
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Quote #479
Teacher: No, we won't be getting into our math groups today. Carter's talking out of turn.
Carter: Life is all about second chances.
Teacher: Not in IB it's not.
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Quote #478
I think therefore IB
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Quote #477
At a mixed IB and regular school:
Normal student: Where have you been all week?
IB student: Writing exams.
Normal student: You're writing exams already! You're going to be done way sooner than everyone else.
IB student: No. I'm writing IB exams right now. I still have to write the regular exams like everyone else in June.
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Quote #476
On quote #236
What about the other 1000?
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Quote #475
No matter how much homework you did last night, Cam did more.
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Quote #474
Life is like a box of HL IB Chemistry. You never know what you're gonna get, but it'll probably suck.
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Quote #473
After starting IB whenever you talk about something out of school it still somehow relates back to IB...
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Quote #472
Pre IB student: I'm in grade 8, but I'm thinking of going into grade 10 next year so I can start IB
IB students: **SHOCK** puhahahahhahaha
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Quote #470
Teacher: Name a predator that flies...
Student (wakes up because they can actually answer this one): A BIRD!
Teacher: Well, I sure as hell was not expecting an aeroplane...
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Quote #469
Conversation on MSN after reading a few quotes:
"How sad, our whole is on that website" (ibquotes.com)
"Yeah, its the story of our lives"
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Quote #468
Biology Class:
Teacher: So when are we going to have our next exam review session?
Class: Umm. Friday after school?
Teacher. Okay then Friday it is. Wait. Sorry guys I can't make it. I have a party.
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Quote #467
IB Calculus teacher: *frustrated* You guys are like monkeys with your bananas in your hands, just poking them randomly to see if you can find a space to stick them! You should be EXPERTS at plugging in by this point; you've been doing it for years!
Antonio: haha, plugging in!
Class: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Teacher: *baffled*
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Quote #466
Physics Teacher: Now imagine a pink fluffy cloud at the back of the room. Now imagine that there are ping-pong balls being thrown into the cloud. That's how particles work!
Class: WTF???
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Quote #465
4.6 GPA IB Student: How do you spell 'tuesday'?
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Quote #464
Eighth-grader's mom: You know, you should think about doing IB next year.
Eighth-grader: I'm too smart to do IB.
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Quote #463
Quote on an IB teacher's webpage:
All's fair in love and finals.
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Quote #462
Non-IB student: You're in IB?
IB Student: Yeah.
Non-IB Student: Do you ever have nervous breakdowns involving all-night study sessions ending in screaming Latin phrases and offering to sell your soul to Satan if he'll put you out of this misery?
IB Student: ...just the once.
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