Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
< 1 2 3 4 > Last ›Quote #2030
( Teacher talking to sophmore pre- IB about IB)
Teacher: You guys should stay in the program because it is a challenge. Its good too challenge yourself.
Student: Well swimming with sharks is a challenge?
Teacher: Who wants to take a dive?
Vote:
-67
|
Permalink
Quote #2029
You KNOW your in IB when its the first day of summer vacation and your stressing about the classes you're going to take next year.
Vote:
310
|
Permalink
Quote #2027
You know you're in IB when you can text faster on your calculator than your phone.
Vote:
501
|
Permalink
Quote #2024
you know you're in IB when you find the quotes on this website better than those on fmylife.com
Vote:
1212
|
Permalink
Quote #1998
You know you're in IB when you start organizing students based off of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World caste system.
IB Senior - Alpha
IB Junior - Beta
IB Sophomore - Gamma
IB Freshmen - Delta
AP Student - Epsilon
Vote:
216
|
Permalink
Quote #1994
J: Omg the jokes on IBquotes.com are SO relate able and funny!
A: Yeah iv read all of them 3 times and made notes on them
H: now THATS what the IB does to you! AAGH!
Vote:
-205
|
Permalink
Quote #1986
You know you have been in IB too long when you think a guy's TI n-spire is sexier than his Mustang Convertible.
Vote:
250
|
Permalink
Quote #1982
How not to get your Business IA done-
To the tune of Bubbly by Collie Caillat:
Procrastinated for a while now
I really should go do my essay now
But every time I see that white blank page
My mind wanders to another place
Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go
Our teacher can be really really vague
Don't understand half the things he say
Rambles on so very boring-ly
We're so confused why can't he see?
Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go
What am I gonna say?
Only knew 'bout this yesterday!
I just...... AGRRHHHH!!!!
Due tomorrow I know
Haven't done it and so
Tonight will go
So very slow
Not an excuse, they say
I got it Wednesday
Fifteen Hundred
Words to go
Been writing this for a while now
I think I just took my break right now
That essay cannot so itself
I'll use Wikipedia for some help
Old Wiki might know
And I better go
And do this horrible essay so
My grades ain't so low
My teacher gives me the shits
And has halitosis
Oh god yeah
I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
I've spent, yeah, I've spent, yeah
Spent way too long writing this
Won't be done for a while
That don't make me smile.....
Vote:
257
|
Permalink
Quote #1979
IB Student making a maths joke: Did you see the asymptote on that motherfunction?
Vote:
206
|
Permalink
Quote #1976
You know you're in IB when the only type of 45 you can get is number of thumbs-ups on IBquotes.com
Vote:
371
|
Permalink
Quote #1975
What is the difference between life and school?
In school you are taught a lesson and given a test
In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson
Vote:
175
|
Permalink
Quote #1960
AP students wet their pants when they see their workload.
IB students wet their pants because they have no time to go to the toilet.
Vote:
1004
|
Permalink
Quote #1955
IB is like a mafia family
one crooked, messed up family
and once you are in, there is no turning back
and if you do leave, IB will find you one way or another
10th IB DHS
Vote:
332
|
Permalink
Quote #1954
Only in IB is the threat:
"I'll smash your graphing calculator!"
More effective than a gun to th head.
Vote:
588
|
Permalink
Quote #1952
Lunch time study session:
A: "GOD, why are we spending so much time discussing existentialism?!"
B: "So we pass the IB English Exam, get our IB Dimploma, and get accepted to an Ivy League."
*C: "You know, the whole 'you'll get into a great college' thing is probably just something that we've trained ourselves to say so that we don't smask our heads in with our Chem books."
A: "You've ruined my inner peace."
B: "Ahh, but if you followed existentialist beliefes you wouldn't be influenced by her rational thought."
A: "If I were an existentialist I wouldn't be in the IB."
C: "I hate you so much"
(DHS)
Vote:
154
|
Permalink
Quote #1950
Student: I wish you would conserve paper more, you don't have to hurt the trees!
Teacher: Well, "teacher" is derived from the Portuguese word for "tree-killer."
Student: Really???
Teacher: No. But I do plant a tree for every thousand papers I use.
Student: Really???
Teacher: No!!
Vote:
79
|
Permalink
Quote #1942
Since you are in IB, you know you have SOMETHING due tomorrow when you look on Facebook for some friends at 2:00am and find 90% of your IB friends doing the exact same thing. :D
Vote:
371
|
Permalink
Quote #1941
Being an IB student is like being a kamikaze: They will tell you it's for some greater good, but the truth is you're on a mission to kill yourself.
Vote:
421
|
Permalink
Quote #1939
A scientist needed a young pre-university research assistant to go with him to the Amazonian rainforest for an expedition, and had narrowed it down to two people.
"Now we need a research team; to see which of you I'm going to take, I want both of you to go off and find a team;I'll need a biologist and a chemist, to conduct research; a mathematician, to analyse the statistics involved; a Spanish speaker so we can find our way around, an Economist to evaluate to social impact of our findings; and someone proficient in English who can publish my work for me. Off you go!"
2 weeks later the two hopefuls return. One has his team of 6, all young, budding enthusiasts in their fields with excellent GCSEs and A levels in their specific areas.
"Excellent" The scientist comments, "Your team seems well suited." The other is just standing there by himself. The A leveller looks at him bemused, but is quietly smug - clearly he has failed to find anyone to help him. The scientist turns to him and says "I don't understand... I told you to go out and find a mathematician, an economist, a scientist, and a linguist?"
He replies "Exactly. I do the IB."
Vote:
531
|
Permalink
Quote #1934
IB physics multiple chioce Answer Key:
1-20 A,B,C or D
20-30 B.S.
Thanks Mr. LoGalbo
Vote:
27
|
Permalink
Quote #1932
Econ teacher: When investing in stocks you should look for things that are inelastic... like porn.
Student: Porn makes me inelastic.
Vote:
-73
|
Permalink
Quote #1929
People who take Math SL are smart people. They know their limits.
~ Carl Frolund, 12th Grader at MKIS hahahahha good luck on exams Carl!
Vote:
190
|
Permalink
Quote #1927
IB chemistry student: YOU BORON!
Vote:
371
|
Permalink
Quote #1925
(in ecosystems & societies)
Teacher: What kind of plant is that?
Student: A mushroom.
Teacher: That's not even a plant.
Student: A fungi.
Teacher: That's a totally different kingdom!
Student: Narnia!
::class bursts out laughing::
we ib kids are so smart....
Vote:
231
|
Permalink
Quote #1922
Facebook Status: On a date with my World Lit Paper <3
Vote:
293
|
Permalink
Quote #1921
You know you are in IB when you make each major assignment a verb.
Non IB Student: "Hey, what are you up to?"
IB Sutdent: "oh, im just world litting, about to be IAing."
Vote:
244
|
Permalink
Quote #1920
IB student to math teacher: Sir, did you know that Einstien failed in math when he was a kid?
Math teacher: WELL EINSTEIN WASN'T IN IB!!!!!!
Shaker
Vote:
196
|
Permalink
Quote #1917
Student 1: Hey! Someone quoted me on IBQuotes!
Student 2: Cool. *Hifive* They quoted you wrong though...
Student 1: They ruined the joke! Noooooo!!!! ...
Vote:
-250
|
Permalink
Quote #1916
you know youre in IB when you start reading your ToK essay just for fun, and then try to think of an argument against it.
MRB-peru
Vote:
200
|
Permalink
Quote #1914
IB Math Teacher: Come on guys you know what to do first!
(Class stares blankly)
IB student 1:Well if we divide by ....
IB student 2:No this is not that kind of problem!
(More blank stares)
IB Math teacher: Come on guys, It starts with an F and ends in an OIL!!!!!
Vote:
57
|
Permalink
Quote #1912
"You know you're in IB when you hope that someone will get swine flu, because then everyone would get swine flu and you wouldn't have to go to school for a week."
Vote:
236
|
Permalink
Quote #1907
Dad: Do you want a Pie?
IB kid: No thanks!
Dad: What's the matter?
IB kid: It's has too many digits, It would fit in my calculator =|
Dad: =_='
- by Sahiti
Vote:
-37
|
Permalink
Quote #1904
A WWF Representative once present their symbol to IB students.
WWF Representative: What do you see?
IB Student: It's one of Gestalt Principles, closure. That is when the viewer's perception completes a shape.
Vote:
13
|
Permalink
Quote #1902
[In IB Physics HL, discussing entropy.]
Ms. D: So, imagine that you have a layer of salt and a layer of pepper in a jar. And then you shake it all up so that it's completely mixed up! How do you separate the salt and pepper into layers again?
Preston: Easy. You can just centrifuge it. And then because of the difference of masses, the salt and pepper will separate.
Max: Or you can put a charge on a spoon and attract the pepper particles to it. And the salt won't be attracted because it's not charged... as much.
Brian: Or you can eat it!
Amanda: I think the answer you're looking for is no. It's impossible.
Ms. D: Thank you!!!
Vote:
59
|
Permalink
Quote #1901
Only in IB will three or four students start a discussion about the political ideologies of various superheroes, at which point the rest of the class will join in.
Vote:
137
|
Permalink
Quote #1900
only in IB does "homework catch up day" count as a reason for an excused absence
Vote:
181
|
Permalink
Quote #1899
only in IB will you find kids writing in all surfaces of the auditorium during a senior assembly trying to finish their chemistry write up
Vote:
56
|
Permalink
Quote #1898
Non-IB Student: I just got 75 hours of community service for getting caught drinking last month.
IB Student: I've got 150 to do.
Non-IB Student: DAMN, what'd you do?!
Vote:
357
|
Permalink
Quote #1896
www.ibo.org
"The International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme (PYP) is designed for students aged 3 to 12"
HAHAHA, who are they kidding? poor 3 year olds.
Vote:
234
|
Permalink
Quote #1894
you know when you're in the IB when you take HL Math and someone younger than you comes up to ask you about a simple y=mx+b problem and you completely space about how to solve the problem.....
J Peterson- IB Junior
Vote:
142
|
Permalink
Quote #1892
you realize you're in the IB when:
1. instead of flirting, you make maths jokes
2. you are proud of being in maths studies
3. your bed is your desk, your floor is your closet, and your desk is lost
under piles of redbull tins.
Vote:
236
|
Permalink
Quote #1890
You can't be stalin if you're russian!
communism is never right because fascism never left
Vote:
19
|
Permalink
Quote #1889
CAS:
IB's attempt to turn having a life into a homework assignment
Vote:
334
|
Permalink
Quote #1887
Only an IB student would:
Read a book and get confused, because they think that "etc" stands for "electron transport chain".
Vote:
130
|
Permalink
Quote #1886
The fire alarm goes off and all the students are standing out in the parking lot:
IBteacher - everyone move back 2 steps!
IBstudent - if i move back 4 do i get extra credit?
Vote:
150
|
Permalink
Quote #1882
You know you're in IB if you're studying for a review game.
Vote:
94
|
Permalink
Quote #1881
my Cold War essay topic is possitive and negative effects of the Cold War, i came up with...
positive: its over
negative: we have to write essays about it
Vote:
126
|
Permalink
Quote #1876
You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....
HAHA
Vote:
-68
|
Permalink
Quote #1872
::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two
Vote:
-90
|
Permalink
Quote #1870
IB - Impressive BSing.
@.
Vote:
296
|
Permalink