Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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IB Student: Aw man, I have a three hour French class after school today and I have a fever from swimming outside in the rain last night!
Non IB student: Why'd you even go to school!???
IB Student: *looks at other student weirdly* My well being is not my priority, my CAS hours are.
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Quote #417
What did pi say to i?
Get real.
What did i reply?
Get rational.
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Quote #416
During a year 11 TOK class
“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”
Bertrand Russell (1917)
Student: Oh great, another pointless part of TOK.
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Quote #415
In TOK class trying to define 'good' and giving examples of when we use it
Student 1: 'Good' is what you use to describe something that is not bad.
Student 2: But that definition doesn't apply to all uses of it.
Student 1: But for example out of a 'good boy' and a 'bad boy' then of course the good is the one you would want.
TOK teacher: Uh... really??
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Quote #414
You know you're in IB when you can see individual air molecules vibrating
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Quote #413
Normal teacher : Okay class, we are having a test next class.
Normal students: Sure.
IB Chemistry teacher: We are having a test on electrolysis next class.
IB student: But Mr. Parker, we CANNOT do it cause of our History paper (due in 3 weeks) and our English essay on Oedipus (due in 2 weeks).
IB Chemistry teacher: Oh sheesh. Okay.
We are the biggest whiners and liars ever!
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Quote #412
Sitting in chemistry:
KJ (teacher): When naming polar covalent...
(Intercom comes on and tells school to get into tornado position)
KJ: Okay, everyone hold onto your bookbags and there's no way the tornado can lift you off the ground.
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Quote #411
If the forward to a book went something like this:
"This book means absolutely nothing and does not intentionally contain any underlying meanings. Any symbolism, imagery, figurative language, etc. is purely coincidental."
IB English teachers would expect an analysis essay over it from their students.
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Quote #410
"On the way to school I contemplated driving into a tree instead of facing my chemistry IB teacher" (IB day dreams)
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Quote #409
IB Bio teacher: So in a few weeks, the cats will be delivered and we will be dissecting them.
Christian: omg! could you like, put a surprise into each cat?
Chris: Yeah! Like a lollipop or something?
IB Bio teacher: yeah! I'll sit in my classroom all day opening up cats and putting in little toys!
Half the class: REALLY?
IB Bio teacher: NO.
Class: *disappointment*
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Quote #408
IB Coordinator: So... You'll all be welcoming and inviting to all of the potential year ones, right? Tell them all about the good things in IB.
Year 2 Students: Um.. sure. *exchange glances* *Coordinator leaves* Let's tell them to run far far away and never look back.
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Quote #407
(IB History teacher who taught IB kids as freshmen is teaching them again as seniors )
Teacher: Oliver, I thought you'd be out of this program by now.
Oliver: Why? I'm smart.
Teacher: Exactly. I thought you'd be smart enough to get out of this program while you had the chance.
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Quote #406
I want to B ... dead
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Quote #405
How do you even have time to read this ?
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Quote #404
Lachlan: I'm notorious for my poor work ethic.........but not the kind of notorious that gets chicks...it's disappointing...
.........!
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Quote #403
Mrs. Gleaton: "'IB 20th century topics' might as well be called 'Teaching smart kids exactly how every brutal, totalitarian regime was started by one person and how with the right timing and planning anyone in this class also could.'"
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Quote #402
Halfway a history paper 2 practice test on Maoist China, after the teacher has left the room ...
"So, who is this Mao guy?"
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Quote #401
In math studies:
Mrs. Zuniga: What are angles called when they're less than 90 degrees?
class: acute
Mrs. Zuniga: What are they called when they're more than 90 degrees?
class: obtuse
Mrs. Zuniga: How about when they're more than 180 degrees?
Melissa: ....obese
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Quote #400
If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year...
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Quote #399
Why join the I.B. or A.P. if you are going to end up at S.P. (suicide prevention)
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Quote #398
IB Math Teacher: Okay, so there's a question on the last page that I THINK works out, but give me about fifteen minutes, and I'll make sure you can actually do it.
Class: OMG Die
IB Math Teacher: Okay. It's good. Have fun with that. *laughs*
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Quote #397
Non IB Student: And so I found this quote--
IB Class: QUOTATION!
Non IB Student: *backs away*
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Quote #396
In a class discussion about whether Ophelia in Hamlet is pregnant:
IB Student: But... Pregnant people don't sing!
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Quote #394
Teacher: ... read through this lab report about "Pea Seed Germination.. they tried to soak some of the pea seeds with a lot of water, and then compared them to one the ones which didn't get that much water."
Students leave classroom.
Student1 (female): But I mean... isn't that quite expensive?
Student2: What do you mean?
Student1: Yeah, the computers probably don't work when you've poured water over them!!
(Pea seed; PC)
(and we're supposed to be smart.)
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Quote #393
"You shall not pass"
-Gandalf on IB
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Quote #392
Female student to CAS Coordinator: What does pregnancy count for?
Male student: Can I count it as well?
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Quote #391
What does IB mean?
Internal Bullshit!
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Quote #390
"Welcome to IB History, you are all in deep shiiit"
-IB History Teacher
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Quote #389
"Does being mugged count for CAS? What?! I'm helping the guy, aren't I?"
The British School of Rio de Janeiro
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Quote #388
History IA is a BITCH.
Only, it can't be settled with a fight.
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Quote #386
Ibid. (Latin, short for ibidem, "the same place") is the term used to provide an endnote or footnote citation or reference for a source that was cited in the preceding endnote or footnote.
IBID = International Baccalaureate Is Death.
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Quote #384
A recent study showed that Students enrolled in IB History Performed better in P.E. Tests involving back strength than non IB History students
When questioned, Each IB History student pulled a 1200 page history book out of their backpacks and placed it on the desk in front of them. Five desks collapsed over the course of the 8 interviews
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Quote #383
teacher to students: now write your name on this notecard.
Student 1: OK
Student 2: This is easy!
IB Teacher to IB students: now write your name on this notecard
IB Student 1: how big?
IB Student 2: which corner?
IB Student 3: cursive or print?
IB Student 4: do we need to put our whole middle name or just our middle initial?
IB Student 5: What if we don't have a middle name?
IB Student 6: Is pencil okay?
IB Student 7: Do you want it on the side with lines or the blank side?
and we are wondering why IB is so hard
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Quote #382
IB is like being ruled by facism:
Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.
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Quote #381
It's Easter and the person who deals with our EE's sends an e-mail out to everyone... and it says:
"Don't over do on the EEggs!"
Clue 姐 who is reading it groans at the pun... Muse Addict who is also reading it asks:
"huh?"
Clue 姐 points out the bad joke to Muse Addict who replies:
"I thought it was a typo!"
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Quote #380
IB Visual Arts students walking about workbooks
student 1: the quality of my workbook is like a y= cosx+1 graph
student 1: it's good then bad then good then okay then good then bad then good
student 1: first we're kinda excited and enthusiastic that we have to do workbook pages, and then we learn we have to do ten every. single. week. and that's when I hit cos of pi
student 2: hahahhaa, I'm at 5pi/2, but I hope to get to 7pi/2
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Quote #379
Non IB Student: Hey dude what's up?
IB Student: The positive y-axis!
- Aaron
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Quote #378
Student 1: I hate IB Physics!!!
Student 2: Don't worry, at the end of the year we'll have a bon fire and burn the Tsokos book and our binder
Student 1: How will that help my grade?
Student 2: It won't... but it will make you feel better
Student 1: I should have taken IB Environmental Systems
Student 2: Yes, but we were dumb and decided to "challenge ourselves"
Studnet 1: I believe that was the day we decided to sell our souls
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Quote #377
After IB Physics is over, I will throw the textbook off a cliff and calculate the momentum when it hits the ground...
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Quote #376
(While talking about IB English Y1 books)
Student 1: These are all so depressing! All of them end in death!
Student 2: Seems appropriate, it's just like IB!
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Quote #373
English teacher:
You're not yourself in IB, you're an analyst
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Quote #371
History teacher: Rasputin was poisoned, shot and then drowned. He was a hard man to kill.
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Quote #370
Student: ...but we already have three tests scheduled for the next two days...
Teacher (mockingly, sarcastically and evilly): So if you add the one I'm giving you that makes four... Right? Your math teacher will be so proud to hear you do all of these advanced calculations.
Student (in a somewhat whiny tone which is completely justified): haha... Very funny... I haven't spent time with my friends or family or girlfriend in almost a month.
Teacher: And you're surprised? Didn't you read the fine print when you agreed to be in IB? It says : "In IB there are no significant others, only significant figures!"
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Quote #369
Jennifer: Hey Mr Nelson, will you give me a cookie for getting an A in your class this quarter?
Mr Nelson (IB Psychology teacher - he was sick, and eating some chicken soup): Jennifer, if I had a cookie, I'd give it to you.
Jennifer: I don't even like cookies.
Mr Nelson: *sigh* Jennifer, why do you talk?
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Quote #368
Chem teacher looking at student's hair: Jessica your hair is so long and thick and has just the right curl to it...
Jessica: Thank you?
Chem teacher: and so soft....
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Quote #367
Math teacher: Thou shall not spaz!
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Quote #366
Art teacher: Humans made time, therefore we control time!
Rest of art class, still freaking out about an art project due the next day despite the help.
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Quote #365
IB SL Business Teacher: So how does the money flow out of a business other than purchases of sales, loans, rent or advertising?
IB Student: Bribes
*class laughs*
IB SL Business Teacher, shuffles paper and discreetly looks at her notes: I don't think so.
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Quote #363
AP/IB Calculus teacher, in an attempt to "engage us":
WHERE DID PI GO? We've been *doing* pi all morning! But this isn't a disc, this isn't a circle. It's a triangle--YA KNOW?
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Quote #362
Emily L: Wow Christian, you and the animals. You're always talking about breeding turtles, and Siberian tigers, and Norwegian rabbits and--
Christian: Yeah, but there probably aren't even any rabbits in Norwegia.
Emily K and Emily L: Wait...
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