Browsing the latest submitted quotations.

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Quote #1492

English Teacher: If there is a fork in a poem what could it be? What could it mean?

Student 1: A Weapon
Student 2: A choice that must be made
Student 3: A fork in a road
Student 4: It could be that there is a stabbing need for something

Teacher: Have you ever thought that it might just be a fork?

Vote: Yay! 1253 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1491

IB Pre-Calc Pick-up Line:

"Wanna see the exponential growth of my log?
Seriously, it's right there on that graph."

Vote: Yay! 135 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1486

IB Student to Non-IB Student: You don't understand! I HAVE to skip school tomorrow so I can finish my homework and study for Bio. I have no choice, it's either skipping or failing two classes

Vote: Yay! 888 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1484

Non-IB Student: I feel like skipping school tomorrow. Feel like coming with?
IB Student: Let me check my schedule... Bio and French Quiz tomorrow... passage C discussion in English... History DBQ. Nope, can't. How about you ask me again in a few weeks?

Vote: Yay! 133 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1482

You know you're IB when you spend more time editing a paper than writing it because you're over the word count.

Vote: Yay! 2156 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1479

IB is reading these quotes and trying to answer the math questions in them

Vote: Yay! -60 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1469

Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.

Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?

Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?

Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.

Vote: Yay! 534 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1464

AP student: I went to sleep at 9:30 last night!(:
Certificate IB student: ...I went to sleep at 12:45. :/
Diploma IB student: ...Screw you! I went to sleep at 2:30 and woke up at 4:00 to finish the rest of my homework.

Vote: Yay! 1466 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1463

A Facebook Chat Conversation of Slumdog Millionaire:

Alex: "...and so Jamal knows the answers because of his past experiences; it's just fate."
Nicole: "I wish I had that luck with IB exams..."

{{somehow we always drift back to IB}}

Vote: Yay! 210 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1461

Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.

Vote: Yay! 483 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1460

IB English teacher supervising a Math HL examination:
"You guys can write a whole Math HL paper but you can't fill the coversheet?!"

Vote: Yay! 203 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1459

IB student walking down hall: Man I freaking failed that math test! GGGRRR!
Non IB student: That impossible you guys like never fail anything.
IB student: No I IB failed it.
Non IB Student: Whats an IB fail?
Ib Student: An 89
Non Student: Dude an 89 I'de be happy if I got an 89 on anything.
IB student: *Sighs*

IB where 90% is the new 50%

Vote: Yay! 375 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1458

Generic IB Student a: Why are we doing all these stories in English which have crazy people in it? (referring to Of Mice and Men and Death of a Salesman)

Generic IB Student b: It's to prepare you for the worst.

QASMT

Vote: Yay! 101 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1445

IBer to English teacher: Sir, do you know how to find the anti-derivative of (3(x^2+3x)^4)/7? Because I forgot how to do it.

English teacher: Are you insulting me?

Vote: Yay! 192 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1444

In IB, there comes a time where you go to your parents to ask for help in a given subject
They take one look at it
and say
"How would you like to get a tutor?"

Vote: Yay! 691 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1442

IB Boy: Hey, I've heard from a source that tells me that you are in love with me.

IB Girl: Ha! Do you think I have TIME for love?

Vote: Yay! 346 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1440

The reason why IB Students are no longer allowed to mix with other classes for P.E.:

One time a Senior in IB joined a Non-IB sophomore P.E. class for CAS hours and told them what they could expect if they joined IB.

The next year, no one from this class joined IB.

Vote: Yay! 199 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1439

Non-IB: So, how do you think you'll do on the IB exams?
IB: Well, I think I'll probably pass. I just have to study 4 hours each day.

Vote: Yay! -141 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1436

Pre-IB: I'm thinking about taking 4 Higher Levels next year.

Ignorance is bliss.

Vote: Yay! 1170 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1435

Chemistry (note: not my idea)

A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.

Vote: Yay! 282 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1434

What's the easiest way to remain a virgin before 18?
-You go to IB.

What's the only way to have a girlfriend in IB?
-You fail.

Vote: Yay! 477 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1421

On an IB class hoodie (with picture of an iPod with real song names):

"iBod:
CAScada - What hurts the most
EEls - I need some sleep
T.O.K. - Unknown language
WestLife - Maybe tomorrow
IAn van dahl - Will I?
G4 - Everybody hurts"

Vote: Yay! 294 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1420

Facebook Status:
Martin's environment is a product of himself. 10:00pm

Replies:
Zanib: you got a big head
Martin: youve got a big left amygdala
Zanib: your pituitary is raging with hormones
Martin Ralston: erhm hem...your axons are quite obviously unmyelinated, and as such your parasympathetic nervous system responds to stimuli of all varieties at a much slower speed than that of my own, the axons of which are myelinated. Indeed, my Schwann cells have been called quite spectacular by some.

Vote: Yay! 194 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1419

So one day a bunch of IB students were talking:

Student 1: You know you're IB if......... you groan at the word touchstone.
Student 2: If you think 93 is failing
Student 3: You get 6 hours of sleep each night even when you don't have a social life.
Student 4: You are seriously talking about being IB

Vote: Yay! 72 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1418

You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.

Vote: Yay! 507 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1413

On a note on facebook:

"Since I'm so bored, I think I'll actually cite my search and the other people who wrote this note too."

Only in IB would you go to the extent of citing your social-networking notes.

Vote: Yay! 62 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1410

What's the difference between a dead person and an IB student?
-NOTHING

Vote: Yay! -26 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1403

You know you're in IB when your class is asked to do a presentation on their favorite technology and almost 2/3 of your class chooses their calculators...

Vote: Yay! 259 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1402

Teacher: "If you could do anything and be guaranteed not to fail, what would it be?"

Student: "Take my IB tests."

Vote: Yay! 354 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1398

(after handing in TOK essays)

IB Student: Yes! No more TOK for the rest of our lives!
IB Student #2: How do you know that?

Vote: Yay! 1223 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1397

It's like facebook is the negative charge and we are the positive charges, and our polarities attract each other mercilessly

Vote: Yay! 271 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1394

I wonder if there is an IB rehab program. If so i'm getting my reservation.

Vote: Yay! 313 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1391

IB coordinator and history teacher: World leaders are just like people: they make bad mistakes. Sometimes you gotta own up to your bad call. Ever made a decision where you looked back and you were like 'God, why did I make that decision? What possessed me to think that was a good idea!?'

Student: Yeah. Getting into IB.

Vote: Yay! 157 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1390

Math Studies insults:
Khalia: Susie, I depreciate you.
Susie: Khalia, my love for you decays at an exponential rate.

Vote: Yay! 93 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1386

Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?

Non-IB Student: ...

IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.

Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.

Vote: Yay! 1496 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1383

Happened after school on a Friday when me and another IB friend went back to my place to play DOTA (computer game). My mum is friends with the CAS coordinator.. So the CAS coordinator comes round to my house looking for her bike which she left here the other day. She sees my friend holding his laptop and laughs.

Coordinator: So this is why you were too busy to teach me piano!
(leaves)
Me: Meh, its alright, she likes scaring people
Friend: #$@%, well that was embarrassing
Me: Well.. at least she has nothing to do with your IB. I mean its not like your future depends on doing pointless activities for her.. OH WAIT!!!!
Friend: I hate you like phosphorous hates water

Vote: Yay! 86 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1380

Teacher: Be sure to practice your orals a lot.. do it with your mon, dad, sister, grandma, dog, whatever, just do it.
Students: hahahahahahahahaha
Teacher: What?

Vote: Yay! 262 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1376

Procrastination is like sex. No matter how good you are at or how many different ways you do it in the end you still get screwed.

Vote: Yay! 166 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1372

The only way to pass ToK is to prove it does not exist.

Vote: Yay! 1201 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1368

Patricia: Say something sweet and corny. <3<3
Nate: I don't know.
Patricia: Come on!
Nate: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
Patricia: ...Oh God.

Vote: Yay! 706 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1367

IB, smart enough to get it, stupid enough to stay.

Vote: Yay! 275 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1365

Satan's three greatest accomplishments:
3. WWI (thousands died)
2. WWII (thousands more died)
1. IB (thousands are put under extreme suffering each year)

Vote: Yay! 228 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1362

PA: "We will now commence our Earthquake Drill."
IB Math Methods Class: *Groan* But our quiz..
Ms. Allan: "It's okay, we'll close the doors. Everyone just pretend to count to 60, we're doing the quiz."

Vote: Yay! 107 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1361

When Heena & Patricia brought a cake to English class, everyone argued over how to divide it up into 13 pieces.

Grace: "Guys, make a peace sign first!"
Someone: "But then there'll be an extra piece, Grace, it needs to be fair!"
Grace: "No look I'll demonstrate on the board!" *Begins drawing, ignored*
Flora: "Okay listen, if we can just find the circumference of the cake..."
Catherine: "This is too IB." *Hurries away*
Patricia: "Wait, what then when we find the circumference?"
Flora: "Well, we'll need to get a protractor to find the correct angles... And then..."
Heena: ...*Begins cutting randomly, ignoring everyone else*

Vote: Yay! 131 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1357

Math teacher walks in: Okay today we are having a contest.
Ib student: Is it a contest to the death?
Math teacher: No but close. It's math league.

Vote: Yay! 88 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1345

Student - Omg Spongebob is the best.
Teacher - Really?
Student - Yeah it totally pwns everything.
Teacher - You Obviously haven't had sex yet.
*Only in the IB*

SMT

Vote: Yay! -27 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1344

Remember the good old days before IB when you could sleep in class and still get A's? Well now even in my dreams I fail.

SMT kid

Vote: Yay! 693 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1342

IB coordinator:
"okay everyone, its time to start thinking about titles for your EE"
IB student:
"will that count for CAS hours?"

Vote: Yay! 108 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1338

4 classes X (1 mole of classes/1 class) X (2 moles of homework/1 mole of classes) = 8 moles of homework a day!!!

Vote: Yay! -53 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #1337

History pun: When it comes to height, South Koreans have an inch off.

Vote: Yay! -123 Nay! | Permalink

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