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Tell a man about IB, and you hurt him for a day. Teach a man the IB, and you scar him for a lifetime.
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Quote #1537
Woman: So you are in IB?
IB Student: Yes
Woman: I have heard nothing but great things about IB!
IB Student: *snicker and mumbles*
Woman: What was that?
IB Student: Oh nothing.
Woman: Oh, anyways, I want to get my daughter into IB when she hits High School, what would you suggest?
*IB student and baby exchange terrified glances*
IB Student: Um...
Woman: Oh one second. I'll be right back, here watch my daughter *Hands IB Student the baby and walks away*
*IB student places baby on the ground*
IB student: RUN CHILD RUN! YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU! GO WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT LIFE!!!
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Quote #1536
Student 1: Wow, so you go to my school?
Student 2: Yes, have been for the past two years.
Student 1: How come I have never seen you before?
Student 2: I am in IB.
Student 1: O.O Enough said.
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Quote #1535
Teacher: This is madness.
IB student: Madness? This is IB!
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Quote #1531
TOK,
Teacher: What do you know?
Students: Nothing
Teacher: What dont you know?
Students: everything
Teacher: What have you learned?
Students: WAIT we were learning.
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Quote #1527
Ravneet - I hate "ibquotes.com". The jokes aren't even funny. Gabi laughs at them...
Merrideth - You just don't get it because you're stupid.
Ravneet - Then how did I get into IB?
Merrideth - The IB program is also stupid.
Ravneet - You're in the IB program...
Merrideth - My parents made me. That makes sense because they are stupid, too.
Ravneet - You've got a point...
Merrideth - Why are you calling my parents STUPID?
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Quote #1525
You know you're in IB when you know the difference between a TI-84 Silver Edition and a TI-84
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Quote #1524
IB Student 1: Did you understand a word of that math lecture?
IB Student 2: No, I was finishing the physics homework instead.
IB Student 3: Oh my god, do you understand the physics unit?!
IB Student 2: No, I was doing my math homework during the lecture.
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Quote #1522
IB is in a way like Scientology. It's one of the most evil things on the face of this earth, but once you're in there's no getting out.
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Quote #1511
You know you are in IB when...
You are on this site contributing, while in reality you should really be revising.
IB Brunei (:
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Quote #1507
You know you're in IB when you vote thumbs down to quotes just so yours appears higher on the Top Quotes list..
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Quote #1497
IB pickup line:
Baby, I'll treat you like my homework. I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
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Quote #1493
Two ib students talking about something not school related. Ib student 1: thats like the complete opposite of what ur saying it's like a reciprocal ib student 2: your moms a reciprocal.
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Quote #1492
English Teacher: If there is a fork in a poem what could it be? What could it mean?
Student 1: A Weapon
Student 2: A choice that must be made
Student 3: A fork in a road
Student 4: It could be that there is a stabbing need for something
Teacher: Have you ever thought that it might just be a fork?
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Quote #1491
IB Pre-Calc Pick-up Line:
"Wanna see the exponential growth of my log?
Seriously, it's right there on that graph."
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Quote #1486
IB Student to Non-IB Student: You don't understand! I HAVE to skip school tomorrow so I can finish my homework and study for Bio. I have no choice, it's either skipping or failing two classes
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Quote #1484
Non-IB Student: I feel like skipping school tomorrow. Feel like coming with?
IB Student: Let me check my schedule... Bio and French Quiz tomorrow... passage C discussion in English... History DBQ. Nope, can't. How about you ask me again in a few weeks?
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Quote #1482
You know you're IB when you spend more time editing a paper than writing it because you're over the word count.
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Quote #1479
IB is reading these quotes and trying to answer the math questions in them
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Quote #1469
Our fellow ib-er had broken his leg and was in a wheel chair.
Teacher: Isn't someone going to help him get out of the classroom?
Students: *all give a pensive look at fellow ib-er*
Ummmmm.... it depends.... do we get CAS hours if we do?
Teacher: ...You are all horrible people.
students: haha yepp.
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Quote #1464
AP student: I went to sleep at 9:30 last night!(:
Certificate IB student: ...I went to sleep at 12:45. :/
Diploma IB student: ...Screw you! I went to sleep at 2:30 and woke up at 4:00 to finish the rest of my homework.
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Quote #1463
A Facebook Chat Conversation of Slumdog Millionaire:
Alex: "...and so Jamal knows the answers because of his past experiences; it's just fate."
Nicole: "I wish I had that luck with IB exams..."
{{somehow we always drift back to IB}}
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Quote #1461
Music Teacher(Creativity): Today we are playing a game. You say horrible things and as they get worse I'll play lower notes on my guitar.
I.B student: chronic mutation necrosis
(Teacher plays a low note)
I.B student: unadiabatic matter-antimatter annihilation
(Bewildered teacher plays a lower note)
I.B student(short of ideas):I.B program
Music teacher: Game over!
MChris.
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Quote #1460
IB English teacher supervising a Math HL examination:
"You guys can write a whole Math HL paper but you can't fill the coversheet?!"
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Quote #1459
IB student walking down hall: Man I freaking failed that math test! GGGRRR!
Non IB student: That impossible you guys like never fail anything.
IB student: No I IB failed it.
Non IB Student: Whats an IB fail?
Ib Student: An 89
Non Student: Dude an 89 I'de be happy if I got an 89 on anything.
IB student: *Sighs*
IB where 90% is the new 50%
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Quote #1458
Generic IB Student a: Why are we doing all these stories in English which have crazy people in it? (referring to Of Mice and Men and Death of a Salesman)
Generic IB Student b: It's to prepare you for the worst.
QASMT
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Quote #1445
IBer to English teacher: Sir, do you know how to find the anti-derivative of (3(x^2+3x)^4)/7? Because I forgot how to do it.
English teacher: Are you insulting me?
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Quote #1444
In IB, there comes a time where you go to your parents to ask for help in a given subject
They take one look at it
and say
"How would you like to get a tutor?"
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Quote #1442
IB Boy: Hey, I've heard from a source that tells me that you are in love with me.
IB Girl: Ha! Do you think I have TIME for love?
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Quote #1440
The reason why IB Students are no longer allowed to mix with other classes for P.E.:
One time a Senior in IB joined a Non-IB sophomore P.E. class for CAS hours and told them what they could expect if they joined IB.
The next year, no one from this class joined IB.
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Quote #1439
Non-IB: So, how do you think you'll do on the IB exams?
IB: Well, I think I'll probably pass. I just have to study 4 hours each day.
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Quote #1436
Pre-IB: I'm thinking about taking 4 Higher Levels next year.
Ignorance is bliss.
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Quote #1435
Chemistry (note: not my idea)
A bear fell into the water and dissolved. Do you know why? The bear was polar.
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Quote #1434
What's the easiest way to remain a virgin before 18?
-You go to IB.
What's the only way to have a girlfriend in IB?
-You fail.
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Quote #1421
On an IB class hoodie (with picture of an iPod with real song names):
"iBod:
CAScada - What hurts the most
EEls - I need some sleep
T.O.K. - Unknown language
WestLife - Maybe tomorrow
IAn van dahl - Will I?
G4 - Everybody hurts"
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Quote #1420
Facebook Status:
Martin's environment is a product of himself. 10:00pm
Replies:
Zanib: you got a big head
Martin: youve got a big left amygdala
Zanib: your pituitary is raging with hormones
Martin Ralston: erhm hem...your axons are quite obviously unmyelinated, and as such your parasympathetic nervous system responds to stimuli of all varieties at a much slower speed than that of my own, the axons of which are myelinated. Indeed, my Schwann cells have been called quite spectacular by some.
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Quote #1419
So one day a bunch of IB students were talking:
Student 1: You know you're IB if......... you groan at the word touchstone.
Student 2: If you think 93 is failing
Student 3: You get 6 hours of sleep each night even when you don't have a social life.
Student 4: You are seriously talking about being IB
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Quote #1418
You know you're in IB when you pray for a snow day to finish all of the work you procrastinated on.
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Quote #1413
On a note on facebook:
"Since I'm so bored, I think I'll actually cite my search and the other people who wrote this note too."
Only in IB would you go to the extent of citing your social-networking notes.
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Quote #1410
What's the difference between a dead person and an IB student?
-NOTHING
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Quote #1403
You know you're in IB when your class is asked to do a presentation on their favorite technology and almost 2/3 of your class chooses their calculators...
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Quote #1402
Teacher: "If you could do anything and be guaranteed not to fail, what would it be?"
Student: "Take my IB tests."
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Quote #1398
(after handing in TOK essays)
IB Student: Yes! No more TOK for the rest of our lives!
IB Student #2: How do you know that?
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Quote #1397
It's like facebook is the negative charge and we are the positive charges, and our polarities attract each other mercilessly
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Quote #1394
I wonder if there is an IB rehab program. If so i'm getting my reservation.
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Quote #1391
IB coordinator and history teacher: World leaders are just like people: they make bad mistakes. Sometimes you gotta own up to your bad call. Ever made a decision where you looked back and you were like 'God, why did I make that decision? What possessed me to think that was a good idea!?'
Student: Yeah. Getting into IB.
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Quote #1390
Math Studies insults:
Khalia: Susie, I depreciate you.
Susie: Khalia, my love for you decays at an exponential rate.
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Quote #1386
Non-IB Student: If a tree falls in the woods, and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?
IB Student: If no one is around to hear or see this "tree", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: ...and then, if you've never been to this "wood", how do you know it exists?
Non-IB Student: ...
IB Student: Moreover, where are these "woods"? You have to examine it from a cultural aspect, as well.
Non-IB Student: ...JUST FORGET IT.
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Quote #1383
Happened after school on a Friday when me and another IB friend went back to my place to play DOTA (computer game). My mum is friends with the CAS coordinator.. So the CAS coordinator comes round to my house looking for her bike which she left here the other day. She sees my friend holding his laptop and laughs.
Coordinator: So this is why you were too busy to teach me piano!
(leaves)
Me: Meh, its alright, she likes scaring people
Friend: #$@%, well that was embarrassing
Me: Well.. at least she has nothing to do with your IB. I mean its not like your future depends on doing pointless activities for her.. OH WAIT!!!!
Friend: I hate you like phosphorous hates water
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Quote #1380
Teacher: Be sure to practice your orals a lot.. do it with your mon, dad, sister, grandma, dog, whatever, just do it.
Students: hahahahahahahahaha
Teacher: What?
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