Browsing the latest submitted quotations.

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Quote #667

In an Underground Train station Very early in the morning....

People 1: What the heck... look at that person, he's got a huge black sack under his eyes.

People 2: Ahh... it's probably one of the IBs..it's very natural for them, they always don't have enough time to sleep...


(But in fact, it was just an ordinary person which was involved in bar-fighting, and got punched on the eyes)

Vote: Yay! -9 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #665

Conversation with our Indian physics teacher (dickhead)

Teacher: So the fuel for a thermal reactor is uranium
Student: whats a thermal reactor?
Teacher: uranium
Student: huh?
Teacher: yea uranium
Student: no sir that doesn't make sense
Another student: yea uranium is the fuel and-


10 MINUTES LATER


Teacher: oh the thermal reactor? oh thats like a cham-ber (accent)
Student: what's a cham-ber?
Another Student: oh CHAMBER!
Teacher: yea that!

Vote: Yay! -18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #664

Writing an essay is like One Republic's 'Stop and Stare' song. (singing) Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.

- Arnold D

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #663

French Teacher: "Ava! We're not supposed to have sexual content in schools!"

Ava: "You have read the books we got assigned in English, right M. A?

Vote: Yay! 16 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #661

Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.

Vote: Yay! 59 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #658

IB = Internal Bleeding

Vote: Yay! 15 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #657

Teacher: "What is the main cause of deforestation?"

Students: *Lifts up their homework*

Vote: Yay! 51 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #654

Durring a QAHS TOK class

student 1: Well I think hitler thought he was doing a good thing at the time. THERE WAS BENIFITS!!!!

TOK teacher: He killed a lot of people for all the wrong reasons

student 2: Yes but the war caused a lot of technological advances world wide especially in aviation.

TOK teacher: You know up untill now Ive never met a buch of kids who thought the technology was more valuable then the people.

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #650

IB is mentally raping me..

Vote: Yay! -8 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #645

C: Did you hear the one about the guy who owned the hotel?
J: No...
C: Don't worry, it's an inn-side joke
J: *blank look*
C:*writes it down*
J:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
B: That's not even funny

C and J do IB
B does not

Vote: Yay! -3 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #643

Prospective IB student: I think Im going to take higher level math... i do well in Maths b here.

Ex IB student *not really paying attention*: Rather than taking HL, take some LSD. Then calculate the improbability of your ability to pass if you're the only one who can see the air molecules vibrating and claim it to be oxygen.

Prospective student: ...

Ex IB student: Your chem teacher would be proud of you.... *walks away*

Vote: Yay! 10 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #642

"Remember how they told you that real life is harder than IB? Um. They lied."

-Former IB Student

Vote: Yay! 31 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #641

(a sine and cosine maths lesson)

IB SL Maths student: Sir, when are we ever going to use this in real life?

Maths teacher: In your final exams.

*IB Student rolls eyes* Yeah but after that?

Maths Teacher: Never. You know you don't have to do it.

IB student: Really?? So why am I doing this?

Math teacher: You want to pass the IB?

IB student: Oh yeah...

Vote: Yay! 18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #639

Since you are procrastinating anyway, do the following drawing that was presented to the BSRJ History HL students by the very talented Mr. Nash ("talented" was not sarcastic, he's awesome):

1. Draw a circle and call it Germany.
2. Draw another circle right underneath it and call it Austria.
3. Erase the junction to form a butt-looking Anschluss.
4. Draw a long horizontal cylindric/oval shape with one end (western border, i.e. left end) touching the junction and call it Czechoslovakia.
5. Outline the left tip of Czechoslovakia and call it the Sudetenland.
6. Now, draw a small horizontal line through the Sudetenland to indicate the path of the troops.

Can you believe this map was drawn accidentally?

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Quote #638

To hand in homework is like menstruation. To go though it annoys you, but being late can really freak you out.
BSRJ

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Quote #637

I was procrastinating on YouTube and found this inspiring:

We are doing all these things to squeeze things together so we can save time (...) But we aren't guaranteed that time, all we have is 'here' and 'now' and that's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination is not the problem, it's the solution!
(...) Procrastinate now! Don't put it off!
by Ellen DeGeneres.

Vote: Yay! 12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #636

Jimmy: "I HATE that we have to do service for CAS hours!!"
Me: "Calm down! What's so bad about service?."
Jimmy: "No, you don't understand. I was really desperate to get some service hours, so I went up to my boss and I said "please don't pay me for a while." She said "Okay." Next day I was fired. Screw CAS."

Vote: Yay! 18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #635

IB Bio Student: You're so gay that you get your food by phagocytosis!

Vote: Yay! -10 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #634

Bio Teacher: I know you're all excited about Spring Break, but we're not allowed to have a party. But, if you wish, we can have a culinary lab in which if the adminstrators walk in, we can discuss the effect of pectinase on orange juice

Vote: Yay! 15 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #633

Student: *writes on board* 100 days to Christmas

Teacher: *erases board* You may be in IB, but this is a publis school. We're not allowed to have Christmas!

Student: *writes on board again* 100 days to the Birth of the Generic Deity of Your Choosing

Vote: Yay! 26 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #632

Q: How many IB students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 30. One to change the bulb, and twenty-nine to reflect on the process.

Vote: Yay! 27 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #630

IB student muttering while taking a physics exam: at least hell is worse than this

satan: wow, he thinks hell is worse that IB!

*everyone in hell laugh as they were engulfed in red hot fire*

Vote: Yay! 8 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #629

i wanted to commit suicide when i was in IB.

i already had a gun in hand until i saw a non-IB student walk by happily.

think, i'm going to enslave them in my own company one day.

Vote: Yay! 14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #628

EE:
1. Abbreviation for Extended Essay.
2. What the IB junior says when they start to realise how many words 4000 words actually is. "EEEE!"

Vote: Yay! 5 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #627

Mark of an IB Student -

Friendster Last Login: Before IB

Vote: Yay! 6 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #626

IB Student: Yesterday, a mum asked me if her son should apply to the IB. I told her to take her son's hand, run, and never look back.

Vote: Yay! 14 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #625

Teacher draws a 'thought shower' (he actually did draw a shower head with streams of water coming from it leading to ideas) onto the board with one of the streams of water bent at a 45 degree angle.

Student 1: Sir, you know it is not possible for water to flow from a shower head at that sort of angle.

Student 2: Actually it is if you hold a positively charged rod next to the flow of water, as the polarity of the water molecules...(teacher interrupts)

Teacher: And when and why would you take a positively charged rod into the shower with you?

Student 1: (laughing) He can't help it sir, his rod is always positively charged in the shower.

Vote: Yay! 20 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #624

IB Student 1: So have you been watching "Project Runway"?
IB Student 2: No, I swore off TV when my Chem grade dropped to an A minus. How do you have time to watch TV?
IB Student 1: I'm telling you, TiVo was invented for IB students.

Vote: Yay! 9 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #623

IB is like a lousy whore.
You get no satisfaction.
And you realise you're paying money to do it.

Vote: Yay! 16 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #621

NON IB STUDENT :
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

IB STUDENT:
Buy an IB diploma

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Quote #620

(A group of IB students are outside and see a rainbow)

Student: Look! Refracted light!

Vote: Yay! 20 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #619

I wonder if King Midas went to IB???...cause he was able to turn shit into gold...

Vote: Yay! 23 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #618

You know you're in deep in IB when you can't look at a word processor document without 1.5 spacings.

Vote: Yay! 12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #617

Who will do well in IB?
Those who like BS

Vote: Yay! 6 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #616

IB, an acronym for intellectual bulimia

Vote: Yay! 13 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #614

...while studying for an IB Math SL exam...
S: ..I imagine a type of McDonald's where you drive up and ask, "Can I have a literary essay with this, this and this about this novel?"...and the dude will ask, "You want textual evidence with that?"

Vote: Yay! 17 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #612

It's sad when after getting back your mid-term grades you want to call everyone you know and tell the how happy you are because you've gone up from a D to a C

Vote: Yay! 11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #611

(students talking excitedly in Bio Class)
Bio Teacher: i just finished grading your cell test...

complete silence...

(Non-IB teacher walks by...)
Non-IB teacher: i wonder how he commands so much respect from his students..."confused look"

Vote: Yay! 8 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #610

The IBs ... are simply known as I. B. S.

Vote: Yay! 5 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #609

emily louise anne says:
what can i write a tok jounal on?
Courtney says:
does it have to be on something youve talked about in class?
emily louise anne says:
no
Courtney says:
ooohk
Courtney says:
write it on a life experience
emily louise anne says:
i dont have a life
emily louise anne says:
i do IB

Vote: Yay! 18 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #608

(NON IB STUDENT):
..martin.. - ( ) says:
IB kids waste too much time by reading and talking about how much they hate IB
(IB STUDENT):
rachel<33 says:
I hate IB

Vote: Yay! 13 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #607

IBQuotes was born as a universal quote book for IB students who have just realised how gay IB is, across the globe. It is an unusual phenomenon that despite all these quotes, no one actually reads them and decided against doing IB. Also there is at least one student documenting and archiving funny moments of your's or therelfs self-inflicted misery (Caused of course, by the IB). IBQuotes allows you to share your experiences and thoughts with the millions of people almost commiting over IB, who are always surfing the internet.

Just like to take the time to thank IB.
We hate you.

Vote: Yay! 12 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #606

IB slowly finger fucks you.

It's that bad.

Vote: Yay! -7 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #605

rachel<33 says:
i love IB :)
emily louise anne says:
no you dont.. bahaha
rachel<33 says:
dont you love IB?
emily louise anne says:
oh yeah i wanna marry it...

Vote: Yay! 4 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #601

When you find sleep, eating and all other physical needs annoying because they hamper your progress: obviously you're doing the IB.

Vote: Yay! 16 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #600

"CAS, EE, TOK essay, IAs. You know you're in the IB, when the exam period, is the most relaxing time you've had."

Vote: Yay! 11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #599

After a Physics exam the only formula you know is E=hf

Exam = hard *uck

Vote: Yay! -5 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #598

You know you are in IB when you feel physical pain when seperated from your GDC.

Vote: Yay! 11 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #597

IB Student: Mr. Carlson, I'm only a Pre-IB sophomore and I have to take three AP Exams this year.
Mr. Carlson: Come on, that's no way to look at things. Some people don't have any AP Exams at all.

Vote: Yay! 3 Nay! | Permalink

Quote #596

(After an IB AP Government has been taking straight notes for an hour and a half)

Teacher: You know how you guys have to do conditioning for spring sports? Sometimes I think we should have conditioning for AP Government. Like, I pull you guys in here a week before school starts and make you write lines with weighted pencils, run around the track while listing the positions in the White House Office. Then, when you got around to the actual class, it would seem FUN.

Vote: Yay! 12 Nay! | Permalink

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