Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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IB Bio Teacher: Okay, since the highest grade on your last test was a 70, I'm doing something very out of character and letting you guys do test corrections.
IB Kids: Wow, that's really nice!! Are you doing that because you're in the Christmas spirit?
IB Bio Teacher: No, I'm doing it because I'm scared of you guys.
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Quote #1102
Non-IB student: Get a life...
IB stident: Are you implying I have the time?
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Quote #1098
IB taught me that every time I learn something new I forget something else.
I realized this when the hardest part of a noncalculator SL Math test wasn't finding a derivative or a limit, but adding two numbers without my calculator.
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Quote #1094
(Class just receives Biology quizzes back in which everybody failed horribly)
MR. K: Okay kids, come on now...lets see. Do you guys know what this class doesn't do?
Student: STUDY.
Mr. K: You all don't...(laughs at comment) haha I was going to say you all don't ever wash the sinks but yes. START STUDYING.
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Quote #1092
Student 1: ...and she's just so so...slutty. AND DUMB.
Student 2: I know! Why is she even in IB??
Student 3: haha probably to calculate her "profits" correctly for her services! haha.
Student 1: haha or maybe to figure good slope angles for you know what!
Student 4: Maybe to discover new curves and angles for her slopes!
All: HAHAHAHA!
*we stop and look at one another with horrified faces*
Student 3: guys. we just laughed at a joke containg algebra in it.
Student 1: crap. were officially IB kids now.
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Quote #1090
While writing her long english final a student shouted,
"Ms. Mohel I can't do this anymore. It's like I'm giving birth to an essay."
To which the teacher replied,
"Its okay, sweetie. Just push a little harder."
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Quote #1088
IB student: "This is your parietal bone..."
-talking to a dog while scratching its head.
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Quote #1087
IB Chem Class..
Chem Teacher:
Reaction rates depend on concentration, temperature, surface area, catalysts and the nature of the reactants. Who can come up with a way to remember these five?
A few students came up with:
STCNC - Strippers take cash, not cards.
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Quote #1086
Math teacher passes out a piece of paper that says, "The Big Three"
Student: Oh, look! It's Clemenceau! And Lloyd George and Woodrow Wilson!
Math Teacher: Actually, I was referring to the three major car companies in Detroit...
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Quote #1085
IB Student 1: *working on a math problem* So, this matrix is singular.
Non-IB Student: You're singular.
IB Student 1: Your mom's singular.
IB Student 2: Your mom's determinant is equal to zero?!
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Quote #1084
"Spark Notes are too long."
-IB Senior
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Quote #1082
Desperate IB Student 1: Okay, we need to figure out a way to get rid of the chemistry teacher.
DIBS 2: My mom said she could get rid of him for me. But we'd need to get all the parents in the class to sign a petition.
DIBS 1: Or, you know, earlier today I was thinking of a plan. We could condition him to drink some strange juice every day, like Mr. Sangra's. And then one day, a poisonous chemical will accidentally be in his drink. And he'll be dead! =D
DIBS 3 & 4: ...
DIBS 1: I was kidding! Stop looking at me like I'm crazy.
DIBS 3: No, that's not it. I'm just trying to remember what Mr. Sangra's drink was like.
DIBS 4: I was trying to think what chemical we could use.
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Quote #1081
IB students take 1 step into a math class.
Ms. Allan: *looks up* The test isn't marked, try at lunch.
IB Students: "Aww..."
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Quote #1078
*sung to the tune of the 12 days of christmas*
On the first day of IB my teachers gave to me ...
12 examinations
11 long equations
10 mental breakdowns
9 questions begging
8 textbooks slamming
7 days of working
6 broken pencils
5 PAPER 3s!
4 thousand words
3 hours sleep
2 broken wrists
AND A LOUSY MARK THAT KILLED ME!!!
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Quote #1077
Rebel: Steals a cop car and drives it down a cliff.
IB Rebel: Drinks coke in the Library.
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Quote #1075
THIS SITE IS PROOF THAT THE NERD SYNDROME IS A WORLD WIDE EPIDEMIA.
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Quote #1072
WILL I EVER LEAVE THE TRAUMA OF THE IB BEHIND AND BE ABLE TO GO OUT AND WATCH A MOVIE WITHOUT ANALYSING FRAME BY FRAME THE DAMN THING. SOMETIMES A SONG IS JUST A SONG, NOT A FORM OF SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE TO CHANGE OUR PERCEPTION OF THE EVENTS
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Quote #1071
You know you're IB when you use Facebook as a way to discuss homework, classes, and teachers.
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Quote #1067
Selling for Bead for Life...
Alanah: "Okay Michael, so you need to bring money to buy necklaces for your mom and female relatives."
Michael: "...Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Alanah: "No, but we do!"
Michael: "Wtf."
Patricia: "Cathy, tell Mr. Ha we got more beads so he can buy something for his wife for Christmas!"
Cathy: "Do I get CAS hours for it?"
Patricia: "..." Thinking: That phrase is overused.
Cathy: "Okay fine."
She never told him anything.
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Quote #1065
Charlie (crying hysterically): I HATE IB! IT'S KILLING ME! I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM GOING TO TALK TO OUR COORDINATOR TOMORROW AND DROP OUT!
Maya: No you won't.
Charlie: You're right, I won't.
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Quote #1062
Flora: I'm cold even with mittens on! How do I get an exothermic reaction to take place inside the mittens?
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Quote #1057
Freshman Geometry IB Class:
Mrs Harrell: Now, for right triangles, you have three different equations using sine, cosine, and tangent. They are:
s=o/a, c=a/h, and t=o/a. you can memorize it by soa cah toa.
*reluctantly*
...There was a student....who came up with another way, and my student's have never forgotten that way...
Class: Tell us!! Tell us!!
Mrs. Harrell: Okay, Okay, Some Old Hag, Came Around Here, Tripping On Acid.
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Quote #1044
The key to a good IB History essay: SPERM
(S)ocial (P)olitical (E)conomic (R)eligious (M)ilitary
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Quote #1040
IB Student: How many copies do you make a year? Don't you care about the environment?
A1 Teacher: Don't worry. For every 1000 copies I make I plant a tree.
IB Students: Awwww, that's great! Really?
A1 Teacher: No. I'm actually in a fight with all the trees. I'm winning.
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Quote #1038
IB 1: Man! I studied so hard for that Chemistry Test.
IB 2: Oh so you studied in the shower too?
IB 1: WHAT?!?! how do you do that?
IB 2: You put your notes into those clear plastic envelope things and tape it to you shower wall.
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Quote #1036
When you're in your first year of IB, you think the almost-slavery state in which the second-year IBers claim to be is just a myth. Then, not even a week into your second year, you realize it was true, so true...
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Quote #1035
Do i get creativity hours, for thinking of new IB quotes?
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Quote #1034
i never knew how to procrastinate, but then IB happened..
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Quote #1031
IB student 1 and IB student 2 are walking home together. IB student 1 is muttering to herself.
IB student 1: I have my History textbook, Hamlet, my Bio binder, my Physics textbook....
IB student 2: What's wrong?
IB student 1: *hands over backpack*
IB student 2: OMG!!! It's so LIGHT!!!!!!!
IB student 1: I think I forgot something.
IB student 2: Well you have your History textbook ...
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Quote #1025
Me: It stresses me how people think Hamlet is holding a skull in his act III scene i soliloquy. That's a COMPLETELY different scene! You know, gravedigger, act V scene i...It just makes me lose faith in humanity, you know?
Teacher: ...You really have to stop reading that play over and over again.
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Quote #1024
IB- Internal Brain damage
TOK- Theory of Killing self
CAS- Creates Assignment Shit
EE- 4000 words.."EEEEEEEE"
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Quote #1023
IB- abbreviation for Internal Brain-damage
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Quote #1019
Apple's Latest: The iB. DESCRIPTION: Does not require food or water, just a steady supply of caffeine. CAUTION: Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight. Comes in pale pale pale pale white only. Sleep not included. Money back guarantee if it doesn't get past Freshman year. SIDE EFFECTS: aching back; enormous backpacks; stunted growth (NOT due to caffeine but from heavy backpack); NERDY, not dirty, thoughts; hair loss; hair growth; may crash when overloaded with work; may randomly put Wagner operas or attempt to sing one-man madrigals; may speak in a long line of symbols.
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Quote #1018
This is IB, you may pick 2 of the following:
1. Good Grades
2. Enough Sleep
3. A Social Life
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Quote #1017
(Flora Coughing)
Cathy: Are you okay?
Flora: Yeah, I just got some juice down my trachea.
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Quote #1009
*water polo practice at an IB High School*
IB Frosh: So what's TOK like?
IB Senior: Well you assume were in a pool now, right?
IB Frosh: Sure.
IB Senior: Well can you prove we are?
IB Frosh: ...uh??
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Quote #1008
CAS = Childish Action of Students
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Quote #1005
Most teenagers nightmares consist of getting eaten or dieing.
In IB the most common nightmare consists of forgetting your notebook, Shortened due dates, corrupted essay files and leaving your assignments on the dining table on the due date.
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Quote #1004
Fred: It's okay Charlie, true love will break your heart.
Charlie: Who cares about my heart, that bitch broke my study plan!
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Quote #999
Jess: Ouch, I just hit myself with the corner of that bag thing.
Jill: Isn't it circular?
Jess: Yah, so?
Jill: Circles don't have corners.
Jess: Yah, I guess you're right, I hit myself with the edge.
Jill: They don't have edges either.
Jess: Whatever.
Jill: I'm telling Mr. Clark (HL Math Teacher).
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Quote #998
The impact of IB Biology HL:
My sister was making some yam fries for our family as I was typing my chemistry lab. While I was still working, my ever-so-caring sister brings me a bowl of these fries, expecting an expression of gratitude. I glanced at the food.
My first response was "They look like spindle-shaped muscle cells."
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Quote #997
IB Seniors: So what forced you to take the IB?
Me: Nothing, I CHOSE to take it.
IB Seniors: Well, then you're fucking stupid.
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Quote #996
Patricia: Do you think they'll have alcohol at the IB Christmas Party?
Genie: ...IB kids drinking? Can you imagine us drunk? We would be like... "HAHA YOUR FACE IS A PARABOLA."
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Quote #994
Grace: *pointing at a picture of a soldier* whats this?
Dusan: Well grace, thats called a MAN.
*class laughs*
Ms Kwok: Dusan! Come here!
* Dusan walks up towards the front of the class all panicky*
Ms Kwok: Listen, stop being so mean to Grace. She's not like you, she's very fragile and you shouldn't toy with her like that, It doesn't help that you have little girls laughing at her too.
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Quote #992
Dad: Water is an amazing substance, have you ever wondered why ice cubes float in water, even though they're made out of water?
IB student: Well that's because there are tiny air bubbles trapped within them...
Sister: HA! YOU'VE JUST BEEN IB'D
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Quote #991
Marking up first chapter of Therese Raquin:
IB student: Look, it describes the walls as being damp... do you think that this is connected to the drowning that occurs afterwards in the book? Cause you know.. water is damp...
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Quote #989
i love the depth of ToK :P
"Arts is completly subjective
-> Picaso's art looks like trash to normal people but is priceless to those who like trash"
(my friend's actual notes for our upcoming presentation on ways of knowing through observation)
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Quote #988
Ms Bigras: If you don't stop talking I'm going to throw you out the window. Actually, I'll put you in a microwave at the back of the room.
IB student: We learned about microwaves today! Apparently they can burn your skin off!
Ms Bigras: Thats great, stop talking.
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Quote #987
IB student: you didn't tell us we couldn't use the same word twice!
Teacher: You didn't ask.
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Quote #982
You know you are up to your wazzo with IB when you freak out and have a nervous break down because the library printer runs out of paper.
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