Browsing the latest submitted quotations.
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IB teacher: does anyone know why we have a double sphincter in the anus?
IB student: so nothing will go up your ass?
IB teacher: ...no, i'm pretty sure you can make things go up your anus if you try hard enough
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Quote #1876
You now when you are in IB when you notice that someone spelled heterozygous wrong on this website....
HAHA
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Quote #1872
::lamenting that he can't get a girl::
Jesse: what are the chances that i'll be a future husband?
Jesse: that could be our next paper two
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Quote #1870
IB - Impressive BSing.
@.
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Quote #1869
I used to write all my homework on a dry erase calendar... until i ran out of time to update it.
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Quote #1868
Perfection is the asymptote in an IB student's life
-d. cylinder
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Quote #1865
You know you're in IB when:
you and your other IBers compare flash drives.
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128
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Quote #1864
You know you're in IB when:
You stay up till 1 in the morning working on a project that was assigned 3 weeks ago, and then you brag about it.
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205
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Quote #1863
"How do you even have time to read this ?"
...how do you even have time to write that?
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327
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Quote #1862
Mohel: If anyone has one of the class-set literature books, you need to turn them in. We need to find all of them!
Student: Would I get CAS hours if I searched through people's lockers?
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Quote #1861
You know you're in IB when it physically hurts you when people forget to "safely remove" their hardware.
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Quote #1850
The 5th graders are touring the IB middle school to see if they want to apply next year. They arrive at an 8th grade classroom. An 8th grader screams, "RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! JUST GET AWAY FROM HERE! DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200!!!!!"
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Quote #1849
Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.
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Quote #1845
You know you need lives when your friend tells you the following:
"So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Hamlet, when Freud walked in on us and started telling me it was reflective of a miserable childhood- on my part, not his."
"So you got Freud to analyze your sex life with a literary character."
"It made it all worth it."
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Quote #1843
IB is finally worth it when you realize that the question prompt on the History paper 2 exam is the same exact thing you wrote your History IA on.
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Quote #1842
Student 1: *freaking out* Guys I am totally failing my Math Studies IA!!!!
Student 2: You can't fail it......
Student 1:..................I wrote it all night, starting at midnight, the one formula I based my entire thesis on had a crazy negative decimal number as a result, so I concluded that the trajectile thrown by the catapult went backwards in time and space and hit someone in the 16th century in the foot and it was all the fault of the French. Here, see I drew a cartoon to add to it.
Student 2: ......with each page of your paper I can tell what time in the morning it is and how much sleep you've had.....
ONE MONTH LATER
Grades on IA's:
Student 2: C+
Student 1: C
Student 1: *DANCE AROUND THE ROOM*
Math Teacher: I just gave you extra points because you weren't moderated...and it amused me how little math you know.
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66
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Quote #1840
You know you have an IB friendly Spanish teacher when:
She tells all the non-Diploma people to not bother showing up for class on Monday. Because of all the days off we have for IB testing she decided to get a manicure and come in late.
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Quote #1839
April 15, Halfway through math class:
Student 1: You know CAS forms are due today..
Student 2: Oh...oh whatever. That doesn't REALLY mean they're due, it just means they're due two weeks from now. It's a warning to get procrastinating IB students to start filling out their forms and getting signatures. I've done all 150 CAS hours over two years and not a completed form to show for it yet.
NEXT DAY:
Student 2: [IB Coordinator] called my house last night to stalk me for my CAS forms and I'm afraid to walk down the hallway because she might find me!!!!!!
Student 1: That's nothing. She called my house first to get your phone number because she'd misplaced it.
Student 2: *shiver*
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Quote #1838
Those who aren't in IB may make jokes about those of us who are, but we are a cult. This means that when we vote on, say, senior superlatives, IB kids will vote for IB kids therefore over ruling everyone else's vote.
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Quote #1833
you know there's got to be something wrong with IB when:
1. you're at a party and you think, "this sucks, I could be doing homework right now!"
2.you argue with teachers over a 99
3.you view lunch as a short nap
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Quote #1831
[Several IB students are lying on the grass in the park instead of going to school after their IB exams.]
Student 1: *starts laughing hysterically*
Students 2 and 3: ...are you okay?
Student 1: no... I'm in IB. *continues laughing*
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Quote #1830
After seeing what the IB did to me, my parents found the perfect threat to use on my brother when he doesn't clean his room.
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Quote #1823
You know your in IB when you and another IB student have a debate that culminates in "Hitler was really not that bad of a leader..."
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Quote #1814
You know your in IB when for the past four years, all the English books you have read, someone always dies...and their deaths are symbolic
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Quote #1807
You know you have no life when you get an adrenaline rush from playing a grammar game in IB French.
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Quote #1804
True Story:
NonIB Student: Hey, it's your birthday! What are you doing today?
IB Student: Well, I have a calculus test and my TOK presentation, a meeting with the IB Coordinator after school to get some scholarship forms filled out, the rest of my math IA to do, an appointment with my shrink because my anxiety disorder is getting worse, two hours of chemistry tonight so that we can learn part of option E, and then I'll probably go home and finish my physics lab before I read Death of a Salesman.
NonIB Student: ...Cool.
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Quote #1799
IB has ruined our life for 2 years, but it will help us in a long run if we get good score.
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Quote #1796
You know when your doing IB when:
You realised that it should be "you're", not "your" in the title, first time around
Everyone else will now look again.
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Quote #1795
You know when you're doing IB when:
You start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.
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Quote #1787
It took me 2 whole years of history to figure out what an idiot Mussolini was.
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Quote #1782
Teacher: Don't worry, you're only another 3999 words away from your diploma!
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Quote #1779
When an IB student does an assignment due the next day at 12 midnight, he says: "Good, I still have 6 hours left to finish it."
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Quote #1774
You Know You're in IB, When You Have An Extremely Hard Time Picking Between Your Cellphone And Your Graphing Calculator.
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Quote #1760
IB Student: Can I have a mini-fridge in my room?
Dad: Are you kidding me? The only time I get to see you is during dinner!
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Quote #1758
After Patrick takes out a non-graphing calculator ( a TI-15 instead of a TI-84)
Jon: Ha your calculator doesn't even have graphing!!!!!!!!!!!
*
*
* Only at IB
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Quote #1756
Our Math Studies teacher told us that one time he caught his 5 year old daughter saying "To infinity and beyond!" (Toy Story). He then sat her down and took 1/2 hour to explain how that was impossible, since infinity is a concept.
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Quote #1755
You know you're taking IB Chem when you start making up your own abbreviations just to be able to take more notes in less time.
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Quote #1752
IB Bio class
IB Teacher: stress can cause infertility.
IB student: Oh, so i guess us IB kids are never giving birth.
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Quote #1750
The advantages of having an IB friend.
1) You feel good about your life.
2) When procrastinating and working at 3am, you know a friend shares the same pain.
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Quote #1749
Whoever has time to come on this site is either not in IB or going to drop out of IB.
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Quote #1748
In IB, laid will always be the past tense of lying something down (such as your head)... and never anything else.
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Quote #1733
When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "YHWH".
Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"
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Quote #1722
An IB student says, "Guys, it's okay we don't sleep now. We'll be SO ready for college that we'll have the first two years of college work finished during the summer GOING INTO college... We can just sleep for those two years. I swear it all works out!..."
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Quote #1721
"is" = the worst word in the human dictionary.
"is" should die...
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Quote #1711
IB Student touches something hot: OW! Get it off! Get it off! Gosh darn it, I can feel my enzymes denaturing!
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Quote #1703
After the Christmas Holidays, the English Teacher asks us how our break was
Student1: It was great! The best part was staying up all night doing nothing...the worst part was staying up all night doing work.
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Quote #1701
You decide to laminate your review sheet to study in the shower.
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Quote #1698
Only in IB can you bullshit a 10 page commentary on a poem less than 10 words.
PJ
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Quote #1694
You know you're IB when you write a letter to the principal saying your chemistry class needs more pH meters so you can do your labs.
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Quote #1693
IB Teacher: Today we're going to do a creative writing piece, since you rarely get a chance to do that in IB. Find a memory in your childhood and write about it as a child narrator.
IB Student: Do we need a thesis statement?
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